Pondering on heels and corsets

[kittyn_]

Ok, this will probably be garbled, but I'm going to try to make sense. Here's to hoping.
While I see corsets and heels both as a weird form of walking bondage (and a huge turn on for me), they also seem most common apparel for Dommes, at least in pictures and video. This just confuses me. The uncomfortable, restricting nature of these items just seems anti-Dominant to me, though obviously a LOT of people don't agree.
I completely understand that the visual of extreme heels and tight waists can look very sexy in a generic way, I just don't understand how from a kink/fetish perspective they can appeal in such opposing manners, so anyone with ideas, please help me wrap my head around or 'get' this if you can.

 

[Soumis]

I think that a person in a corset can look bound, or they can look fierce. Obviously one makes me think of pyls, and the later PYLs.

 

[kittyn_]

I think that a person in a corset can look bound, or they can look fierce. Obviously one makes me think of pyls, and the later PYLs.

I think my main issue isn't the 'look,' it's the actual physical sensations. I just don't see how it could fit with the image of fierce, controlling person. It just seems like it should kill or not fit with the image that is presented. When wearing them, corsets, to me, are an inconvenience and a constant 'reminder' that keeps me in a subbie happy place, I just don't understand how the same constriction and nusiance can feel so different to someone else. I can get the "Damn, I look good, sexy, and demand attention" but not that this somehow translates past the phsyical 'look', I guess.

 

[Essene]

I think my main issue isn't the 'look,' it's the actual physical sensations. I just don't see how it could fit with the image of fierce, controlling person. It just seems like it should kill or not fit with the image that is presented. When wearing them, corsets, to me, are an inconvenience and a constant 'reminder' that keeps me in a subbie happy place, I just don't understand how the same constriction and nusiance can feel so different to someone else. I can get the "Damn, I look good, sexy, and demand attention" but not that this somehow translates past the phsyical 'look', I guess.

Hmm... It's late for me. I'll have to ponder on this a bit more and get back to you.

But I think you've got it in that last bit there. Personally, I always feel very powerful and sexual in my knee high leather stiletto boots. They come in handy too...As for the corset, well, it comes and goes. I think it's possible that depending upon the personal choice of the wearer, and how the wearer perceives the garment is key.

I think sexy is a very powerful thing in and of itself.
http://www.corsetted.com/info.shtml
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corset

 

[trojan_man_co]

I think my main issue isn't the 'look,' it's the actual physical sensations. I just don't see how it could fit with the image of fierce, controlling person. It just seems like it should kill or not fit with the image that is presented. When wearing them, corsets, to me, are an inconvenience and a constant 'reminder' that keeps me in a subbie happy place, I just don't understand how the same constriction and nusiance can feel so different to someone else. I can get the "Damn, I look good, sexy, and demand attention" but not that this somehow translates past the phsyical 'look', I guess.

I think its one of the hottest things a woman can wear, that being said i think its all about the reasoning behind it. For example if a Dom or Domme requiring there sub to wear it to look sexy for them yes the binding on it the style and the restriction on it all can be very submissive.
BUT
If it was a Domme, then it is her taking control of her sexiness and her sexuality. It is also her making herself as desirable as possible to show her power over a sub making her become soo desirable that it puts her even more into power and the sub that much less making the sub want to worship her as almost a goddess symbol. But ultimately its her choice.

 

[EustaceMcGargle]

Domming isn't about absolute power

At least not in any relationship I've ever had. It is a different sort of relationship, to be sure, but still a relationship with rights and responsibilities on both sides.

Both sides need to present themselves in a manner their partner finds not only appealing, but also implies awareness of responsibilities.

Then too, many women find that sort of clothing fun to wear in spite of the discomfort, it helps them with their own mind-set. As a woman once told me, 'it makes me feel like a bad girl'.

Most fetish clothing is really a promise to give as good as you get. The sub provides service, and obedience. The Domme uses the fetish clothing to stimulate her boy's senses and to promise him certain behavior as long as he remains a good boy by her definition. It improves the boys mind-set. It improves her mind-set and helps set the scene.

 

[the captians wench]

Hmm... It's late for me. I'll have to ponder on this a bit more and get back to you.

But I think you've got it in that last bit there. Personally, I always feel very powerful and sexual in my knee high leather stiletto boots. They come in handy too...As for the corset, well, it comes and goes. I think it's possible that depending upon the personal choice of the wearer, and how the wearer perceives the garment is key.

I think sexy is a very powerful thing in and of itself.
http://www.corsetted.com/info.shtml
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corset

I think this is exactly it.

Corsets are not at all uncomfortable for me. Infact, If I have to wear anything on any given day, my first choice is always a corset.

When put with certian acessories I feel very asertive, strong and in control, when put with others (or nothing else) I focas more on the idea of being bound. And when I have some one else tie me in, well that's deffo a "happy place" moment.

 

[FloggingMolly]

I've worn mine whilst being a Domme, whilst subbing, nights out on the town, and in non-sexual circumstances.

I found wearing it as a Domme, it was looser laced, not so restrictive. It made me keep my back straighter, made me walk taller, made me more aware of my movements and the beauty of my body. It made me feel more confident, more appealing, and therefore more Domme.

I wear it tighter as a sub, and love being held by the laces so that I cant get away The lack of being able to breathe deeply makes sensations more intense, and does remind me of the fact I am not in control.

 

[ownedsubgal]

this is actually an interesting question, one i've pondered myself more than once...somehow though i don't think it comes down to something as simple as wanting to appear attractive and desirable to one's partner. hmmm...eagerly awaiting Netz's response.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I just think they're a time honoured symbol of femininity.

And now, can be used to enhance that, either in a powerful context (Dommes) or a softer context (subs/slaves)

 

[00Syd]

Specific articles of clothing (or anything for that matter) don't have to represent any one thing. Corsets can represent a myriad of things to different people, in different contexts. A corset can represent control on a submissive even while she is standing next to a domme who's wearing a corset, and on her it represents power. I'm sure they are both wearing it with different intentions, for varying purposes. And that's just fine.

This just doesn't seem like a very complicated question to me.

 

[Primalex]

Specific articles of clothing (or anything for that matter) don't have to represent any one thing.
[...]
This just doesn't seem like a very complicated question to me.

Well, what about a butt plug in the ass of a guy? Do you think this could represent domly powers?

 

[00Syd]

Well, what about a butt plug in the ass of a guy? Do you think this could represent domly powers?

It could just represent that he likes things stuck in his ass.

 

[Stella_Omega]

He has a happy prostate.

 

[kittyn_]

I've worn mine whilst being a Domme, whilst subbing, nights out on the town, and in non-sexual circumstances.

I found wearing it as a Domme, it was looser laced, not so restrictive. It made me keep my back straighter, made me walk taller, made me more aware of my movements and the beauty of my body. It made me feel more confident, more appealing, and therefore more Domme.

I wear it tighter as a sub, and love being held by the laces so that I cant get away The lack of being able to breathe deeply makes sensations more intense, and does remind me of the fact I am not in control.

This actually makes the most sense of anything, in terms of me 'getting' it. Part of my mental block is I just can't imagine actually being the Dom partner in a relationship. It's not my comfort zone, at all, so it's just so far out of my experience or mindset that that I can't get an 'ah ha, that's it!' going on.

I can relate to the difference in wearing corsets, heels, etc in a more 'normal' relationship or setting, where all they do for me is up my confidence level. I guess it's just I never took it past that to try to see how it'd apply for or help a Domme.

I think I may be less 'duh' on the subject at the moment. We'll see though.

 

[EustaceMcGargle]

It could just represent that he likes things stuck in his ass.

Well, it COULD be a fashion statement. Doesn't it depend on the color, the size, and if it has tassels on the end like the handlebars of a paperboy's bicycle.

 

[FloggingMolly]

This actually makes the most sense of anything, in terms of me 'getting' it. Part of my mental block is I just can't imagine actually being the Dom partner in a relationship. It's not my comfort zone, at all, so it's just so far out of my experience or mindset that that I can't get an 'ah ha, that's it!' going on.

I can relate to the difference in wearing corsets, heels, etc in a more 'normal' relationship or setting, where all they do for me is up my confidence level. I guess it's just I never took it past that to try to see how it'd apply for or help a Domme.

I think I may be less 'duh' on the subject at the moment. We'll see though.

I'm glad to have been of some help hon.

 

[Netzach]

Discipline. It takes discipline. The discomfort that puts one person in her place - well, if her tormentor is functioning beyond that discomfort, it speaks of another level of power.

I feel disciplined in this garb, and therefore positioned to see to the discipline of others. I can't really explain it better than that.

Being corseted - my guts can only take so much of it. However, it's a nothing challenge compared to latex. That's the real crazy. I love it.

 

[Netzach]

Well, what about a butt plug in the ass of a guy? Do you think this could represent domly powers?

If Dominance is really reduced to nothing gets in my butthole, I suppose it removes him from the running.

 

[Netzach]

OSG is on the money, as usual. I dress up to get off. I dress up to dress up. I dress up to play with someone who's hooded.

Although I confess that the heels often come off when the blindfold goes on. I'm kind of a spaz in heels and I like moving completely silently.

Oh, tip to those who top. Girls, guys who do drag, whoever -

wear your worst ever heels. Grin and bear it. Do your entire evening. THEN have him/her/it rub your feet. I'm not one of those orgasm-from-weird-parts rubbed people - let me just say this was close.

 

[Etoile]

As someone who used to wear corsets full-time, I find the idea that they have any inherent connotation strange. It's about how you wear it. You can wear them to be submissive, you can wear them to be dominant. You can wear them to call attention, you can wear them as a foundation garment. They're not one thing, they are many things.

 

[00Syd]

Foundation garments ftw

 

[Netzach]

Yeah, I think my next corset might be some kind of pink cotton coutil foundation looking one.

 

[rida]

I don't have a corset (yet), but have plenty of heels and nice sexy corset-like lingerie.

When I wear nice lingerie and heels, I feel confident, I feel sexy, I feel good about myself. But feeling submissive or Dominant depends on who I'm seeing and not on what I'm wearing.

Now that I've been contemplating the idea of being a Domme (and I had a very quick foray in it), I can say that when I wear heels and lingerie as a sub, it is because I know the looks pleases my Dominant and it makes me feel that I'm serving him by dressing the way it visually pleases him. But when I wore the same items as the Dominant one (with a different person), I enjoyed the feeling of power associated with looking sexy and hot.

 

[Netzach]

Here's a point of departure.

Why is the power of looking sexy and hot the main/first/often only place that women get to go in the scene?

Looking hot IS a kind of power trip and it's a good one.
I like it because a lot of vanilla women like to look sexy and hot and it's a fun foray into playing on the top for a lot more people than would be attracted to SM or bondage as a top ordinarily - being worshipped for your beauty is a nice little gateway drug. I like it for its own sake, if I lived alone in cat lady isolation I'd still have corsets and heels.

Some people rail on and on against how awful this is, how it reduces women's power in the scene to a caricature blah blah - but in fact I think it's the *disparity* that chaps my ass.

Why is is that male dominants are usually/often COMPLETELY sans clue about the power of the visual, or the question of charm?

Women aren't as visual as men, but we're not BLIND.

It's as if women, as Dominants, have gotten the message - ok, creating visual hotness will put your subject in the mood, you can control what kind, dose them with it, if you will...yes, these threads are not practical, but the way they affect people is advantageous.

and male Doms get:

Dude, who wears a suit? You're gonna wear one for her cause she likes it? Heh. pussy.

Or some version thereof. Or whatever messaging results in "it's OK to generally look like ass and expect women to fall to the floor at your feet."

Not that everyone does. And not that all women have suit fetishes, though I hear it commonly and it seems to have the most resistance - I HEAR IT COMMONLY - and NEVER see a suit at a munch. (unless I'm there making that happen.) Some guys at munches know how not to look like ass, but I've noticed it's not a majority.

The male birds have the rockin' feathers.

Nuff said.