Do you need to be aroused to be submissive?

[EustaceMcGargle]

In another thread, a man mentioned he needed to be aroused to feel submissive. This surprised me as I feel submissive towards women most of the time.

Don't get me wrong! I can function in the modern world! But my wife doesn't need to get me erect for me to want obey her. And other women have little trouble in establishing that they outrank me in the pecking order (unless, of course, they piss me off).

I'd like to find out from other submissives (and doms too) if they feel submission is a component of sexuality or something else.

 

[00Syd]

I'd like to find out from other submissives (and doms too) if they feel submission is a component of sexuality or something else.

Both.

 

[Primalex]

I'd like to find out from other submissives (and doms too) if they feel submission is a component of sexuality or something else.

That's like asking whether eating is necessity or pleasure.

 

[CuteBrat]

For me its just the other way around....I need to be submissive to be aroused. And the more submissive I feel, and the more Dominant I feel someone is toward me, the more aroused I get.

 

[FurryFury]

I'm submissive at my core. That doesn't mean I'm a doormat for anyone though.

To take pain and make it feel pleasurable I need to be aroused.

I'm easily aroused, just by playing with my own damn thoughts.

 

[ownedsubgal]

submissiveness is a core trait of my personality, it is the way i naturally tend to respond to others. it encompasses my sexuality and everything else. so no, i do not need to be aroused in order to be or feel submissive. in fact i am failing to see the connection between sexual arousal and personality.

 

[EustaceMcGargle]

submissiveness is a core trait of my personality, it is the way i naturally tend to respond to others. it encompasses my sexuality and everything else. so no, i do not need to be aroused in order to be or feel submissive. in fact i am failing to see the connection between sexual arousal and personality.

I think the same way as you. I obey my wife out of love and an obligation to keep my promises to her. While that part of our lives may affect how we pleasure each other, it isn't the driving force of why we live the way we do.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

For me its just the other way around....I need to be submissive to be aroused. And the more submissive I feel, and the more Dominant I feel someone is toward me, the more aroused I get.

This

 

[FloggingMolly]

Interesting... I'd say no, I don't need to be aroused to be submissive, I do find it easier to express my sub side when aroused though. And when I am submissive, I find it easier to be aroused.

Funnily though, in my life outside my relationship, I'm not naturally ssubmissive to others...

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Funnily though, in my life outside my relationship, I'm not naturally ssubmissive to others...

Me either. In fact, I'm a bossy, sarcastic so and so.

In other contexts, I'll be duly polite, but I'm not one to show deference to anyone other than my partner.


I've realised that while I'm always submissive towards him, feeling sexually submissive is another, almost different thing. And that's what I was thinking of when I read this thread. And for me those two are tied together. I get aroused, I feel more sexually submissive, and that feeling makes me more aroused and hyper focused.

 

[thesan]

Submission and arousal are like a never ending delicious circle for me. The more submissive I feel, more I am aroused. the more aroused I get, the more submissive I feel. Which came first?!?! LOL And do I really care?

And although outside of the bedroom (the bathroom, living room,etc.), I am and can not be submissive, I do get sexually charged when another gets all alpha on me. Even if I can't respond the way that I want. LOL

 

[kittyn_]

I don't need to be aroused to be submissive. It helps to get me there before trying for anything major, but my mindset tends to be submissive no matter what. Just rather my definition of submissive meets anyone standards is an entirely different question though.

 

[trojan_man_co]

I think that its a little bit of both. You can be submissive on many many levels and not be aroused. BUT for some submissive acts or tasks can only be enjoyed and pleasurable when aroused. (males in particular) I know that for me personally as a guy i can be aroused and interested in MANY MANY kinky extreme things, but the moment after i orgasm my kink part of my brain begins to slow down and things that had me all hot and bothered a moment before suddenly i couldn’t imagine doing.

I remember a thread a while back from a man who had a particular fantasy where he really really had a thing for wanting to eat out his girl after he came in her and lick up all his own cum for the humiliation aspect, but every time he then would cum in her suddenly the idea of doing it became gross and he couldn’t follow through so he was asking for ideas on how to stay in the mindset when he wasn’t turned on.

I say all this however from a guys side, once we cum we tend to be satisfied, woman can stay aroused long after they have a big O and become too tired or sensitive for more.

 

[Soumis]

I don't need to be aroused to be submissive. Nor do I need to be in a submissive mindset to be aroused. I am most of the time, but they can work independently on occasion. As someone said before, chicken and egg thing. Sometimes the submission triggers the arousal and sometimes the arousal triggers submission.

 

[Winter_of_62]

I think that its a little bit of both. You can be submissive on many many levels and not be aroused. BUT for some submissive acts or tasks can only be enjoyed and pleasurable when aroused. (males in particular) I know that for me personally as a guy i can be aroused and interested in MANY MANY kinky extreme things, but the moment after i orgasm my kink part of my brain begins to slow down and things that had me all hot and bothered a moment before suddenly i couldn’t imagine doing.

I remember a thread a while back from a man who had a particular fantasy where he really really had a thing for wanting to eat out his girl after he came in her and lick up all his own cum for the humiliation aspect, but every time he then would cum in her suddenly the idea of doing it became gross and he couldn’t follow through so he was asking for ideas on how to stay in the mindset when he wasn’t turned on.

I say all this however from a guys side, once we cum we tend to be satisfied, woman can stay aroused long after they have a big O and become too tired or sensitive for more.

Yes, I think submission for a male is a totally different thing than for a woman. The physiological changes that happen to a man at the point of orgasm are nothing short of profound - obviously more so for some than others, but to a major degree in all males. Cuckolding, denial, chastity are all enormous for a male sub to "keep him submissive."

If I were to have a male sub, (nothing I am at all interested in) and being as how I love pushing the limits of submissives, this is something I would exploit and savor. The real submission BEGINS after he orgasms. He would be allowed to keep his edge and NOT orgasm only when I was feeling very generous and wanted to enjoy that level of his arousal and excitement in his service. But when I wanted to really exhort power and control over him, he would cum early and often and that cum of course would be a very powerful prop. Him no longer wanting to follow through would not be an option.