The Isolated Blurt BDSM Thread

[graceanne]

That's my guess. Also, maybe perplexed into stubborn refusal to accept that someone that unreasonable could possibly exist?

I think they aren't sure that this person is a troll (I am) and therefore keep trying to make sense of his nonsense (you can't).

 

[BiBunny]

I think they aren't sure that this person is a troll (I am) and therefore keep trying to make sense of his nonsense (you can't).

We're jaded, I guess.

 

[graceanne]

We're jaded, I guess.

That, and very low on patience.

 

[intothewoods]

Actually, I Un-Schooled mine for 10 years.

It wasn't "Radical Unschooling", but there were no "official" textbooks in the home, and the first time any of them took a standardized text was upon entering public school (5th grade, 3rd grade, 1st grade and kindergarten for the older ones; the youngest has always been in the public school system).

They all tested at 70-85th % at the beginning of their school years (as in already knew 70-85% of the material to be covered for that year), all choose books over computer games about 60% of the time, are all in AP classes (as 9th, 7th, 4th, 2nd and kindergartners), and have excellent research skills.

I saw a Discovery Channel thing on this - but they only tracked one family. I didn't totally get it. I mean, either there is some forethought there, and it's fine, or there is zero, and then I have a hard time understanding how kids will be prepared. I mean, I get the appeal of being free to be spontaneous, but if you have a sense that kids need to, say, read, learn arithmetic, and meet other standards, then I think that's an alternative to schooling rather than a complete rejection of it. I don't know, perhaps that's not an important distinction. I just find the word "unschooling" to be a bit misleading.

The family on the special also did not believe in hierarchy. The kids went to bed when they wanted, bathed when they wanted, and ate what they wanted. I don't know if that's unschooling or something else.

 

[Bandit58]

I saw a Discovery Channel thing on this - but they only tracked one family. I didn't totally get it. I mean, either there is some forethought there, and it's fine, or there is zero, and then I have a hard time understanding how kids will be prepared. I mean, I get the appeal of being free to be spontaneous, but if you have a sense that kids need to, say, read, learn arithmetic, and meet other standards, then I think that's an alternative to schooling rather than a complete rejection of it. I don't know, perhaps that's not an important distinction. I just find the word "unschooling" to be a bit misleading.

The family on the special also did not believe in hierarchy. The kids went to bed when they wanted, bathed when they wanted, and ate what they wanted. I don't know if that's unschooling or something else.

As Dr Phil says, that's the tail wagging the dog

 

[chy_girl]

I'm just amazed at how willing people are to have their chain yanked.

Emotional masochism. That and I just can't not look. Then I can't not voice my opinion.

And then there's the happy thought that it might actually turn into an interesting discussion that challenges my perspective whether or not he's involved. Frankly, I think it would take him *not* participating to achieve that but still.

And is it bad to say that his arguement style reminds me of my 12 year old reactive attachment kiddo? A lot?

Actually, I Un-Schooled mine for 10 years.

It wasn't "Radical Unschooling", but there were no "official" textbooks in the home, and the first time any of them took a standardized text was upon entering public school (5th grade, 3rd grade, 1st grade and kindergarten for the older ones; the youngest has always been in the public school system).

They all tested at 70-85th % at the beginning of their school years (as in already knew 70-85% of the material to be covered for that year), all choose books over computer games about 60% of the time, are all in AP classes (as 9th, 7th, 4th, 2nd and kindergartners), and have excellent research skills.

Yes CM, but they share your genetic make up. And something tells me that unofficial "textbooks" you had laying around the house were far more helpful.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

And is it bad to say that his arguement style reminds me of my 12 year old reactive attachment kiddo? A lot?

Not at all.

...something tells me that unofficial "textbooks" you had laying around the house were far more helpful.

Yes: if she had a "Crap I'm watching on TV lately" sig line, results might not be as impressive.

Hold it. Where is your "What I'm reading" sig line, CM? I enjoy it.

 

[intothewoods]

As Dr Phil says, that's the tail wagging the dog

I don't know. At first I thought, fuck that! But then I thought about it a little more, and I could see the value. I'm still thinking about it, but what if rules are enforced because they are the house rules, and not because I'm the boss. Does that make a difference? I don't know. There are still times when I feel like, fuck, I'm the MOTHER, end of story, but ... I can see the other side. On the one hand, there are authority figures in the world whose rules you must follow, and that's a part of life that kids have to learn. On the other hand, maybe we should be teaching that particular rules must be followed because they make sense, keep us safe, teach us respect, whatever, and not just because I said so.

You know, the answer is probably that both ideas are right. Honestly, despite all of the hand-wringing we do as parents, it's not really rocket science.

 

[CutieMouse]

Not at all.




Yes: if she had a "Crap I'm watching on TV lately" sig line, results might not be as impressive.

Hold it. Where is your "What I'm reading" sig line, CM? I enjoy it.

Between work, kids and relationship-ness I forgot to put the new one up.

Oops.

I've been reading a book on journaling that The Man loaned me from his personal collection called Note to Self - On Keeping a Journal and Other Dangerous Pursuits by Samara O'Shea (he's the only guy I've I've dated that ever let read my blogs LOL); after that will be Larry McMurtry's Books: A Memoir. (also his)

After that I want to snag one we were talking about while on vacation yesterday - it's a bibliography of a tree climber who discovered an entire ecosystem in the tallest parts of ancient redwood forests... I just have to ask him the name again.

 

[Keroin]

I should really stay off the boards when I'm tired + bored + feeling sarcastic.

And with that...night all.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Between work, kids and relationship-ness I forgot to put the new one up.

Oops.

I've been reading a book on journaling that The Man loaned me from his personal collection called Note to Self - On Keeping a Journal and Other Dangerous Pursuits by Samara O'Shea (he's the only guy I've I've dated that ever let read my blogs LOL); after that will be Larry McMurtry's Books: A Memoir. (also his)

After that I want to snag one we were talking about while on vacation yesterday - it's a bibliography of a tree climber who discovered an entire ecosystem in the tallest parts of ancient redwood forests... I just have to ask him the name again.

Excellent. Thanks for the update.

I think you may be talking about The Wild Trees, by Richard Preston. It was outstanding.

 

[eastern sun]

I'm hungry for love. But I keep looking in all the wrong places.

 

[rida]

I'm hungry for love. But I keep looking in all the wrong places.

I'm having left over pizza. Want some?

 

[eastern sun]

I'm having left over pizza. Want some?

That would be great. Thanks.

 

[chy_girl]

I saw a Discovery Channel thing on this - but they only tracked one family. I didn't totally get it. I mean, either there is some forethought there, and it's fine, or there is zero, and then I have a hard time understanding how kids will be prepared. I mean, I get the appeal of being free to be spontaneous, but if you have a sense that kids need to, say, read, learn arithmetic, and meet other standards, then I think that's an alternative to schooling rather than a complete rejection of it. I don't know, perhaps that's not an important distinction. I just find the word "unschooling" to be a bit misleading.

The family on the special also did not believe in hierarchy. The kids went to bed when they wanted, bathed when they wanted, and ate what they wanted. I don't know if that's unschooling or something else.

The problem I have with just letting kids run free is that they're essentially raising themselves. I totally agree with giving them choices and allowing them to make mistakes, but their making mistakes isn't going to do any good unless someone is drawing the line between the (in)action and the consequence. And maybe mine are special, but I usually have to draw that line more than once before they can see it.

And fact is, it's our home but it's my house. That means that I'm the one in charge of making it safe and habitable... and that means that I make the rules to keep our house safe and habitable and our home a safe and supportive place to be.

As Dr Phil says, that's the tail wagging the dog

In my neck of the woods we call that "letting the inmates run the asylum."

I'm good, thanks.

 

[eastern sun]

I saw a Discovery Channel thing on this - but they only tracked one family. I didn't totally get it. I mean, either there is some forethought there, and it's fine, or there is zero, and then I have a hard time understanding how kids will be prepared. I mean, I get the appeal of being free to be spontaneous, but if you have a sense that kids need to, say, read, learn arithmetic, and meet other standards, then I think that's an alternative to schooling rather than a complete rejection of it. I don't know, perhaps that's not an important distinction. I just find the word "unschooling" to be a bit misleading.

The family on the special also did not believe in hierarchy. The kids went to bed when they wanted, bathed when they wanted, and ate what they wanted. I don't know if that's unschooling or something else.

Did you read the "what to expect when you're expecting . . ." series?

I was struck, as were a number of my friends, by the advice it offered that you can trust toddlers to eat what they need. Even if their diet appears out of whack or imbalanced.

And then there is the Montessori school model in which children are presented with a "rich environment," but very little structure, allowing them to make the choices that best suit their interests, intelligence, and needs.

It seems like this parenting style is generalizing on those trends. But, I have to be honest, every time I've met a parent who refuses to say "no" to their child, I've always thought they were just rationalizing their avoidance of the hardest part of parenting.

My kids didn't brush their teeth on their own impulse until they were in middle school, and that was only because of the messages they were getting at school. The problem is that the consequences of many bad habits aren't necessarily going to be felt until they're older. As a parent, how do you excuse your responsibility in teaching them how to take care of themselves?

 

[intothewoods]

The problem I have with just letting kids run free is that they're essentially raising themselves. I totally agree with giving them choices and allowing them to make mistakes, but their making mistakes isn't going to do any good unless someone is drawing the line between the (in)action and the consequence. And maybe mine are special, but I usually have to draw that line more than once before they can see it.

And fact is, it's our home but it's my house. That means that I'm the one in charge of making it safe and habitable... and that means that I make the rules to keep our house safe and habitable and our home a safe and supportive place to be.


In my neck of the woods we call that "letting the inmates run the asylum."

I'm good, thanks.

Well, I think the idea is that there are rules, but everyone follows them. No one is "more important" (to quote the show) than anyone else. Now, while I don't think I'm a more important person than my kid, I do think that respect for ones elders is important. Teachers work hard for kids. Parents work hard for kids. That is worthy of respect. And on the flip side you could say that respect must be earned. I get that, but I think that sometimes you have to teach kids to behave in a certain way before they internalize the feeling. Like empathy. Toddlers don't have that capacity, but we still try to teach them to share and play nicely (with a lot of room for error, of course).

Anyway, I agree with you. I think for me it's just interesting to consider utilizing different approaches in some circumstances.

Did you read the "what to expect when you're expecting . . ." series?

I was struck, as were a number of my friends, by the advice it offered that you can trust toddlers to eat what they need. Even if their diet appears out of whack or imbalanced.

And then there is the Montessori school model in which children are presented with a "rich environment," but very little structure, allowing them to make the choices that best suit their interests, intelligence, and needs.

It seems like this parenting style is generalizing on those trends. But, I have to be honest, every time I've met a parent who refuses to say "no" to their child, I've always thought they were just rationalizing their avoidance of the hardest part of parenting.

My kids didn't brush their teeth on their own impulse until they were in middle school, and that was only because of the messages they were getting at school. The problem is that the consequences of many bad habits aren't necessarily going to be felt until they're older. As a parent, how do you excuse your responsibility in teaching them how to take care of themselves?

I have read that series. I have to say that although I'm rigid about a lot of things, I never got the appeal of tracking toddler/baby foods to the nth degree. Oy, way too OCD for me.

Anyway, I agree with letting kids make their own choices whenever they can, but it's true that kids don't always have the internal motivation to make good choices. These particular parents would tell their son that they didn't want to cuddle with him when he didn't bathe, and then that provided an incentive for him to wash up. I don't think that that would work with all kids.

 

[graceanne]

I'm beginning to suspect I'm surrounded by masochists.

 

[graceanne]

I have read that series. I have to say that although I'm rigid about a lot of things, I never got the appeal of tracking toddler/baby foods to the nth degree. Oy, way too OCD for me.

Anyway, I agree with letting kids make their own choices whenever they can, but it's true that kids don't always have the internal motivation to make good choices. These particular parents would tell their son that they didn't want to cuddle with him when he didn't bathe, and then that provided an incentive for him to wash up. I don't think that that would work with all kids.

Sounds really passive aggressive to me.

 

[chy_girl]

I'm beginning to suspect I'm surrounded by masochists.

*GASP*

Took ya long enough. Next thing ya know you'll be discovering that we're kinky masochists.

Of course at that point you'll have to go through the indoctrination process...

 

[graceanne]

*GASP*

Took ya long enough. Next thing ya know you'll be discovering that we're kinky masochists.

Of course at that point you'll have to go through the indoctrination process...

EW! KINKY MASOCHISTS?

That's just nasty. People like that don't really exist do they?

 

[Sir_Winston54]

EW! KINKY MASOCHISTS?

That's just nasty. People like that don't really exist do they?

Yes, you do. That just makes life better for kinky sadists, like me.

 

[graceanne]

Yes, you do. That just makes life better for kinky sadists, like me.

Now you're just yanking my chain.

 

[chy_girl]

Now you're just yanking my chain.

Chain yanking is over there...
*points to Bloved*

 

[graceanne]

Chain yanking is over there...
*points to Bloved*

I refuse to put my chain in bloved's reach.