Poem for enjoyment

[Sunndance07]

I just wrote this and have no place else to publish it...

Someone might like it:

The Old Man in the Rain

It was a rainy day for a walk
This warm June day
There must have been something
My heart wanted to say

I stopped by the river and began to gaze
Feeling the wind
The rain
Embracing the days

I found a bench
Next to an old man
With a gray brimmed hat
I walked over slowly
Then stopped and sat

He knew something was there
Something subtle
Yet deep
He asked my name
Then asked me to speak

So I spoke to the old man
Telling of my hearts desire
'I need her hand
Her heart
Her eternal fire'

The old man nodded and listened
Barely making a motion
Hearing every word
Understanding my notion

He reached out his hand
Catching the rain
Looking at me
Answering softly
Feeling my pain

'Remember this my son
And hold these words dear
Her love is like this rain
Flowing and pure

Treat her gently
As gentle as her kiss
Shower her with love
Be granted your wish'

 

[butters]

thankyou for sharing this with us.

the image of the old man cupping rain in his palm is what remains with me after your poem ends.

 

[greenmountaineer]

This is very nice. Because of its length, I might have done one or two stanzas without the rhyme scheme for the ear-mind connection to say "Oh! This is different, and....
what comes next....?"

In any event, it's just a lovely narrative that evokes a lot of images in my mind (maybe because I'm aging myself.) Thanks for sharing it.

 

[david6720]

she kneels astride
him slightly stiff and cooling slowly
vitality's soft aftertaste still lingering on his skin
and eyes that shine
wet with unshed tears and
staring staring
straight at her

such passivity such calm
no spoken word to break the harm of sin
and so begin

raising arms above her head
a sacrificial hymn
then lowering quite slowly first
uncertain of resistance to be met
a dimple-ing
a pressing down and in
bone to bone and
skin to
skin

no gush of blood to spoil the rush
for patience has its own rewards
withdraw slowly, slowly
slick and slicker
pacing pressure
still no flicker on those lips
and eyes that shine
wet with unshed tears and
staring staring

the rocking back and rocking forth
the up and down the ins and out
both hands around the grip and
glisten-ing
with effort she
lays him bare
skin to bone and bone to
skin

intercostal muscles sever
inserts the tip and pushes harder
licks her lips
blue bloom of fingertips
gristle parts - gives way to pressure
she sighs almost content in sweating pleasure
extracts the prize
accepts the gift
and taking Adam's bloody rib
she holds it up to
eyes that shine
wet with unshed tears and
staring

--
cheers




----------------------
Hotels Ballina

 

[butters]

--
cheers




----------------------
Hotels Ballina

excuse me, but it's not good form to grab my poem and stick it up under someone else's when they're looking for reviews and without asking me first or at least acknowledging it's mine. it would be a good idea to remove it, and maybe explain why you posted it here too?

Sunndance, i apologise for the interruption to your thread.

 

[Rayven101]

I enjoyed this very much Thank you for sharing!

 

[Sunndance07]

I enjoyed this very much Thank you for sharing!

You are welcome, I have more...they are all short, sweet, simple...intentionally. PM me if youd like.

 

[jackbency]

Wow!! This is very nice poem and Poetry is word-music, an art which paints pictures with words and sounds. Really, I appreciate it and very lovely, meaningful poem.