Worst pick-up lines EVER!

[thelittledeadgirl]

Post the worst pick-up lines you've ever seen/read/heard here.

Have you ever had a compliment directed at you that just made your stomach turn? We've all heard and said some truly terrible and lame things in the name of getting to meet somebody attractive. We've all heard some terrible groaners from people hitting on us. When we try to describe someone's hotness with the group we're hanging with, we say some really disturbing things. I want to know how many terrible, diverse, lame and disgusting pick-up or come-on lines are out there, so post them if you've got them.

I'll start us off with a few examples ranging from the banal,

"Let's go back to my place and do some math. u + me = party time"

to the terrible
"I'd love to be your tampon for a day"

to the truly disgusting
"She's so hot, I'd eat the corn out of her shit"
(Found scrawled on a bathroom wall in the bus depot)

If you've got more, send 'em in or come up with new ones. It's easy, just take the phrase "You're so hot _____________" and fill in the blank with whatever your depraved mind can conceive!

 

[thelittledeadgirl]

Ooh! Here's a good one guaranteed to send girls running for the hills!

"Hi, I'm one of those guys who likes to wear women's undergarments and I'd love to get into your drawers."

 

[Tio_Narratore]

"Hey baby; would ya like to 68? It's like a 69, but I'll owe ya one!

(Guys all know how girls like a good sense of humor...)

 

[thelittledeadgirl]

"Hey baby; would ya like to 68? It's like a 69, but I'll owe ya one!

(Guys all know how girls like a good sense of humor...)

Hah! Awesome! We women also appreciate persistance:

"Wanna come back to my place for sex and pizza?" *slap* "Okay, okay, we can order chinese!" *slap* Fine. Wanna come back to my place for sex and tai food?" *doubleslap* "Oh, I get it, you're on a diet. Okay, just the sex then."

 

[Alana_]

In a bar

"What can I get you, apart from excited ? "

 

[collar_corset]

I had 'You've got big tits, fancy coming over the fields for a shag?' right in front of my oh once. It did make me laugh

I didn't take it too personally, he had a similar line for every female

 

[sallythescorpian]

popular one in this nick of the woods. "fancy a ride?" please! Does that EVER work!!?

 

[sallythescorpian]

"if I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me!"

or

"howse about a jockeys breckfast - a rasher and a ride!"

or


"Fancy a shag?" and when told politely where to go, turns to the girl next to you, and the next and the next repeating the question in the hopes one will say yes! Whatever chance he stood initially, there's no way he'll get a yes after all the nos!!!

 

[Firmhanded_Daddy]

I'll stick with my personal favorite. I love working this into a serious conversation to see if I'll get slapped for it, because I totally don't go to bars ect. to pick up women.

"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

It's usually good for a laugh.

 

[Winged_Devil]

Refer to a woman at the bar as "Spanner" or "Wrench" all night.

Eg: "Evening Spanner..." "Fancy a drink Spanner?"

And when asked why you're calling her Spanner, reply with...

"Well, every time I look at you, my Nuts Tighten."

(It worked for me with a Girl, didn't last long tho.)

 

[monique_minx]

My personal favs are oldies but goodies:

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."

And...

"Did it hurt?"

"Did what hurt?"

"When you fell from Heaven"

And...

"Heaven must be missing an angel."

And (from a chic to me)...

"If you buy me a drink, I'll pash you on camera."

And here's a one of mine (when I actually want to bother)...

"I'll oblige you a few more minutes of skirt staring but then it will cost you...your shirt hunny..."

 

[Bsquad]

"mmm, love the hat sexy"

Sounds good, I know.

But he wasn't my type.

 

[Alana_]

Is it true they call you Gillette, the best a man can get?

 

[chronicle_tenko]

"I can see you got your tits done. How about we go to the washroom here and compare some scars."

Overheard in a restaurant, to a server.

There's another one about piercings I heard once, in one of those horribly embarrassing moments in a club where you're shouting just as the music stops. But I'm trying to remember it's exact line.

 

[Fira]

"mmm, love the hat sexy"

Sounds good, I know.

But he wasn't my type.

*has a fit of giggles that just won't stop*

you're just so hot, even the guys want you, hun!

Okay...worst one I ever heard is:

"Do you like duck meat?"

Answer = Yes then: "Well duck down here and get you some!"

Answer = No then: "Ever try it? No? Well duck down here and try some!"

 

[thelittledeadgirl]

Ones that might work because of St. Patty's day:

"Do you have a little Irish in you? Can I put a little irish in you?"

"I have a blarney stone in my panties. Do you want to give it a kiss?"

"Have you ever done it with an oversized leprechaun before?"

"Kiss/spank/fuck/lick me, I'm Irish!"

 

[Rayne_Clowd]

One PMed:

"wanna come self destruct with me tonight?"

still not entirely sure if it was completely thought through, but hey it at least was semi original.

 

[thelittledeadgirl]

One PMed:

"wanna come self destruct with me tonight?"

still not entirely sure if it was completely thought through, but hey it at least was semi original.

It's really bad when your computer asks about self-destructing with it..... even if it's just a PM....

Speaking of original...

"My baloney-pony is so big, I can throw it over my shoulder and burp it! Wanna give it a try?"

 

[monique_minx]

Unbelievably...someone really did say this one to me in high school:

"I lost my virginity...can I have yours?"

And...

"Nice legs, what time do they open?"

And oh...for the Aussie blokes who've tried this one!

"Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It's just like a French kiss...except down under..."

 

[thelittledeadgirl]

"Nice legs, what time do they open?"

Oh dear god. That one's a groaner!

 

[thelittledeadgirl]

My fellow insists I post this one in response to the old "did it hurt when you fell from heaven"

He heard this one at college, crassly said to a girl:

"You must have fallen from heaven... that explains how your face got fucked up!"

 

[chronicle_tenko]

In the similar cruel and crass vein.

"Well I think Alcohol beat you with a pretty stick long enough let's go."

 

[Rayne_Clowd]

It's really bad when your computer asks about self-destructing with it..... even if it's just a PM....

Speaking of original...

"My baloney-pony is so big, I can throw it over my shoulder and burp it! Wanna give it a try?"

*coughs and chokes* oh my I should not have risked a drink while reading these, good one daisy *laughs*

 

[thelittledeadgirl]

My buddy Moe's favorite, kinda like yours Chrono:

"Well... I'm drunk, you'll do!"

 

[sallythescorpian]

Here the bar in nightclub usually stops serving at quarter to two, shortly thereafter all the hook ups begin so we have the following charming pick up lines (used as much by the girls as the guys!)

"ten to two and you'll do"
"ten to two and I'll do you"
"ten to two and I'll do you too!"

usually delivered while pretty legless, and wearing beer goggles.

Following morning freakout, and hope never to meet again!!!