How do I know?

[gswendy]

I am a female divorce' who has always enjoyed reading BDSM stories, but have never really tried anything - other than your standard being tied up during sex. I have alwyas poured over BDSM stories and found myself getting so wet and excited by them - more so othan any other type of sexual literature. I am now divorced and able to explore my sexuality more (this was lacking in my marriage somewhat). How does one go about determining what they will and/or won't enjoy in the BDSM arena? Just wondering if anyone out there has any advice. Thanks!

 

[frdrcnjohn]

Welcome to Lit
Smiles and Hugs for You

 

[ImOnIt]

Questions isolated for answering later.





How does one meet someone they may be compatible with

How does one go about determining what they will and/or won't enjoy in the BDSM arena?

and not worry about being put in a dangerous or unsafe situation?

 

[Primalex]

other than your standard being tied up during sex.

Damned, time flies fast. What will we need in ten years to still be kinky?
*sighs*

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Damned, time flies fast. What will we need in ten years to still be kinky?
*sighs*

The boundaries get pushed further and further all the time. Some, not all, are caught in an endless game of oneupsmanship.

Nothing is kinky enough anymore!

 

[Cattypuss]

How does one go about determining what they will and/or won't enjoy in the BDSM arena? Just wondering if anyone out there has any advice. Thanks!

Like anything in life - suck it and see.

 

[chy_girl]

How does one go about determining what they will and/or won't enjoy in the BDSM arena? Just wondering if anyone out there has any advice. Thanks!

Simple answer? Try it.
Semi-simple answer that can be helpful for a noob? Search Google for a BDSM checklist and then go over it. It'll give you things to consider specifically while giving you the opportunity to learn about some things generally.

Then you might consider attending a local munch.

Good luck.

Damned, time flies fast. What will we need in ten years to still be kinky?
*sighs*

Peanut butter and a really good cricket costume.

...The insect, not the sport.

 

[00Syd]

The only way to know if you like something is to try it.

So decide what you want to try, and then go out, meet some people, and find someone who you trust to safely try it with. Like Chy_girl, I recommend trying to attend a munch, or some other sort of neutral gathering. Meeting other kinky people face to face, and talking about things in person, can really help.

 

[ultramarineblue]

The only way to know if you like something is to try it.

So decide what you want to try, and then go out, meet some people, and find someone who you trust to safely try it with. Like Chy_girl, I recommend trying to attend a munch, or some other sort of neutral gathering. Meeting other kinky people face to face, and talking about things in person, can really help.

Definitely what she said.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

cosign the try it.

Also think about what it is in the stories that excites you...

 

[gswendy]

Thanks for the advice! What's a munch?

 

[MisterSir]

A social gathering of kinky people, but in a vanilla environment. I got asked the same question a couple of days ago and the easiest explanation I came up with was "it's like a party for kinky people". I've just started going to munches myself and I hugely recommend it.