BDSM critical mass

[radepor]

Was there a point you recognize that made you a BDSM'er? That is, was there a specific event you remember that made you enjoy B-bondage, D, S or M? Or, is it just a tangle of life events that molded you?

For example; not BDSM at all, but I distinctly remember as a two year-old receiving enemas and perceiving them as enjoyable - had a life-long affection for anal ever since.

 

[gigi1968]

I know I have always had fantasies of being tied up, but never knew it had a name. Since I have become involved in BDSM, I have been a happier person.

 

[Primalex]

We really didn't have enough threads recently covering this.

 

[radepor]

Closed then

Assume, from your tone, that I missed threads covering the topic.

We really didn't have enough threads recently covering this.

 

[where]

well I missed the threads covering it.

I'm not sure I would identify as a BDSMer, but I get off on bondage and have since I was young enough to crawl under my mattress and my Dom is teaching me the pleasures to be gained by pain, so I'll go with the bondage and dominition but I think the submission has been skipped over

 

[radepor]

Ok; I'm open to re-opening my topic

Am I unique?

I think of myself in multiple terms; I don't mind hurting myself - I assume that's some form of masochism - but I'd bludgeon to death anyone who attempted to hurt me, without my permission.

Similarly, in "social" settings; I see myself as a sadist, but only if a masochist desired it.

Is that weird or mainstream, or something else?

well I missed the threads covering it.

I'm not sure I would identify as a BDSMer, but I get off on bondage and have since I was young enough to crawl under my mattress and my Dom is teaching me the pleasures to be gained by pain, so I'll go with the bondage and dominition but I think the submission has been skipped over

 

[qwip]

I first felt the desire to submit when I was about 11 or 12 years old. I would want to make a bet with friends that the loser would be the winners slave for a week. But, I always chickened out when I lost back then. I am always attracted dominant women.

 

[larissa339]

My first understanding of BDSM and my role in it was when i was 12 and my older brothers talking me into playing a silly game of spies. They took me into the woods and chased me (I was the spy). When they caught me they tied me to a tree and started tickling. Of course, one thing led to another until i was half naked. I loved the feeling of helplessness as they explored and never lost the desire.

 

[culloden]

well I missed the threads covering it.

... have since I was young enough to crawl under my mattress ...

I remember getting naked and crawling between my mattress and box spring when I was in about third grade. That was mixed up with some thoughts about a woman I'd seen on the old TV show, The FBI, who for some reason had been on my mind. I couldn't have said why, but the whole thing felt really, addictively, good. Then my grandmother caught me and told me not to do anything like that again.

 

[Lodac]

My first understanding of BDSM and my role in it was when i was 12 and my older brothers talking me into playing a silly game of spies. They took me into the woods and chased me (I was the spy). When they caught me they tied me to a tree and started tickling. Of course, one thing led to another until i was half naked. I loved the feeling of helplessness as they explored and never lost the desire.

This had me aroused just reading it..

 

[WriterDom]

I was into spanking before I had heard of BDSM.

 

[where]

I remember getting naked and crawling between my mattress and box spring when I was in about third grade. That was mixed up with some thoughts about a woman I'd seen on the old TV show, The FBI, who for some reason had been on my mind. I couldn't have said why, but the whole thing felt really, addictively, good. Then my grandmother caught me and told me not to do anything like that again.

omg! I never met anyone else who did this! my parents didn't mind.

 

[culloden]

omg! I never met anyone else who did this! my parents didn't mind.

Well, you probably just never met anyone else who admitted it. And unlike my grandmother, I doubt your parents were overly proper Edwardian Scotswomen.

 

[diirtybitch]

I don't remember anything from childhood at all starting it off for me.

For me, I have found my Dom without even realising that's what I was doing. My mate became my fuck bud and then he became my Dom. We are mates that have turned into a Dom/sub relationship in the bedroom. I feel such all consuming lust and desire for this man and I knew instinctively that he was a take charge sort if guy in the bedroom. I only have to look at him and I go wet and throb down there, I feel that strongly for him.

He held back at first, his sadistic streak, as we were just starting out, exploring each others boundaries, but I got brief flashes of it when he'd say had a drink and was a bit drunk. He would treat me a bit more roughly, drag me into a certain position, pull my hair whilst I was on top or slap my face gently, testing my reaction. He couldn't hide that side of himself for long and I loved him taking charge, making me do what he wanted, I just wanted to please him, I'd do anything to please him.

The turning point came, he asked me if I would let him do anything to me and I submitted to him, I didn't realise that at the time, I just said yes and felt elated, felt so happy that he wanted to explore the boundaries with me, it just progressed from there - experimenting.

I had never been satisfied with any of my previous sexual partners, always felt that they could never "keep up" with me, I just assumed I had a high sex drive as I was always craving sex but I was not able to orgasm very easily - the world of "normal sex" just didn't satisfy me. There was always something missing, maybe it was just a wrong choice of partner, I don't know but I do know now that I was searching for something and I've now found it by being a submissive slut with a masochistic streak.

So, when I started things with my mate, little did I realise what I was letting myself in for - I was very attracted to him, like I said, lusted after him infact and in him I found what I now realised I craved - a Dominant. He awakened in me desires I didn't know I had. We explored those boundaries together, my did we and still are, finding and testing those limits, pushing and encouraging each other to experience even more and different things.

He made me realise that I enjoyed pain and could take a lot of it. I should have guessed I was a pain freak really, I have lots of tattoo's and piercings, I enjoyed the pain but I didn't really think of linking pain in with sex. I never knew what we did in the bedroom had a name or description - quite the naive little idiot really. He has taken me to new heights of pleasure I didn't know could be reached and we have lived out fantasies through role playing, using knives in "forced/taken" roles plays - that shocked me at bit at first - but I'm his sub slut and I let him do what he wants to me, I trust him totally and I think that is the key in our relationship - the deep trust and bond between Dom and Sub, I understand that now.

I ended up searching this site to get some more idea's about BDSM, as I had seen programmes on TV with bondage, etc and I was curious as to what it really entailed as it seemed I had similar desires to what was being portrayed on these shows.

I must say I had no idea that what we were doing fell right into the BDSM catergory. I mean I knew what most people thought about it- kinky, bondage, pain, etc, but I had no idea really. A light clicked on in my head as I read and researched a bit more, I became enlightened should I say? I'd found and put name to who and what I really am, what sort of relationship that me and fuck bud had and I'm loving and living every minute of it.

It has helped me understand our relationship better and I feel more at ease now, I hated calling him my fuck bud because I know that the bond went much deeper than that for both of us. It feels great being able to actually understand each other better, now we know who and what we are to each other.

 

[MisterSir]

I remember liking things that were different from the norm at age eleven (which, holy crap, is ten goddamn years ago. Ten years), but your guess is as good as mine as to when I hit BDSM critical mass. I'd imagine it was seventeen, because I believe that's when I first found BDSM Library, but I couldn't be any more specific than that.

 

[subish2009]

I think I knew in high school (maybe 16 or 17?) that I was kinky, but I don't think I knew what BDSM was until late in college, maybe even after I graduated. I want to say I was probably 21 or so. My then boyfriend, now husband, and I kind of discovered it together by exploring with one another and online. And I don't think it was any one thing that triggered the awareness, though my earliest activities/fantasies that fell under BDSM would have to be being held down/tied down, being spanked.

Now that I think about it, I did a LOT of playing/wrestling with boy friends in high school that was a thinly veiled attempt (on both parties' counts) to get them to overpower me, hold me down, and do what they wanted. That probably should have been a sign to me, but it wasn't until later.

 

[Vulpesvulpes]

I don't remember how old I was but I distinctly remember my grandmother catching me playing with an enema bag. I must have been very young since I only vaguely remeber being given enemas. I don't remember who gave them to me but I must have had some experience with them since I knew where the equipment was kept and I had some idea what it was for. I've been facinated with enemas and all things anal ever since.

The first time I was aroused by anything BDSM was while watching a cartoon. My recollection is that it was of about a glutonous pig who had a nightmare where he was bound and force-fed by a series of diabolical machines. I was very young and I think it was the first time I was aware of being "turned on".

I have since looked it up and it was Piggy Hamhock (Merrie Melodies, 1937) in a cartoon called, "Pigs is Pigs". I haven't seen it again but it would be interesting to see if my memory of it is accurate.

 

[celticsunspiral]

I don't have a story from childhood, at least not one specifically. Several different things happened in my teenage years that now looking back I see they are a foreshadowing of who I am or will be in the BDSM world. I have always sought to please others to the point of physical pain to myself. In HS I had so many hickeys that the skin in my neck became week, I had a boyfriend who put cigarettes out on me. In middle school I carved my bf initials on my hand.

I think until I found BDSM I thought there was something wrong with me that these things didn't bother me or made me happy. And then in the bedroom I just believed I was into "adventurous sex." But after finding out about the BDSM community and reading all I could I now realize this is where I need to be, who I am. I don't believe I will be happy unless there is some sort of power exchange and kink in my relationships.

Of course maybe I am just sick.

 

[rakess]

I thought this had to do with bikes. Darn. I'm picturing lots of people in leather with whips taking over city streets.

 

[Ateam311]

I didn't grow up thinking that I wanted to be tied up, balls slapped, or anything of that nature. I had experimented growing up with some stuff on my own and possibly got myself off to a few crazy BDSM videos online, but I wasn't really mindful of the concepts behind BDSM (much less being a sub).

For us, it was a matter of experimenting with things like prostate stim which eventually led into other kinds of experimenting (tying me down to the bed, facesitting, etc.).

 

[where]

as I was pondering on Nic Valuev, my latest perv, it occured to me that reading a Trillo and Bernet(sp?) comic book called Light y Bold really stirred something in me. it certainly focussed my fetish for super tall and big men.