Bdsm Quotes and Insights! A Discussion and Information Thread.

[yeishia]

thread Closed

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

As we have many people coming onto this board who are new to the lifestyle or dipping their toes in the waters, I thought it might be useful to have a thread dedicated to providing a collection of useful information, links and insights! This would be for both the Submissive and the Dominant!

I am hoping that others will share their experience and knowledge here too and that the various topic etc will provoke interesting and helpful dialogue!

Please be respectful knowing that people will be drooping by to give and to receive such knowledge!

​

Not wishing to be disrespectful, but I'm wondering why you do not post such information and similar threads on the BDSM forums.

You could post links to these from your "creative" threads, or via your SIG line to guide those new or learning to the appropriate area?

Instead of a limited exposure via fantasy on SRP and the discussions in the LOUNGE, surely it would be more useful to guide those with serious intent to that area of Lit that is explicitly set aside for the exploration of the BDSM lifestyle so that they may fully explore and take from the writings what they will?

My understanding was that SRP was for those who want to"play" a role, rather than adopt a lifestyle?
Perhaps the more serious discussions should take place in private or in the designated forum?

​

 

[yeishia]

Thread Closed.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

As we have many people coming onto this board who are new to the lifestyle or dipping their toes in the waters, I thought it might be useful to have a thread dedicated to providing a collection of useful information, links and insights! This would be for both the Submissive and the Dominant!
​

It's called 'BDSM Library' and it's stickynoted at the top of the forum.

​

 

[Cattypuss]

Wow. I would never have imagned that centred text on a forum post would be so annoyingly difficult to read.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Wow. I would never have imagned that centred text on a forum post would be so annoyingly difficult to read.

True, and I skimmed over the rest, after I piffled at the "a dominant is never arrogant, nor commands fear nor uses force" bits. That stuff's hot, when used correctly.

heheh

 

[MisterSir]

* A dominant commands respect, but never fear.

You quite sure about that?

 

[niv78]

You quite sure about that?

That's how I look at it myself, I never want my sub to fear me. If she does something wrong I want her to feel my disappointment, not fear that I'm going to punish her relentlessly.

As a Dom I would much rather be respected than feared.

 

[ZRT]

Well, there's fear and there's fear.

A bit of 'what's he going to do next ohgodthisissucharush' is all well and good, I'm down with inducing that.

'Is that plastic in the trunk for me?' not so much.

 

[ZRT]

What bugs me about the thing is that it's an idealized picture. A dominant is human, and has human traits. Show me somebody who's dominant but never arrogant, for example, and I'll show you a saint.

 

[CutieMouse]

What bugs me about the thing is that it's an idealized picture. A dominant is human, and has human traits. Show me somebody who's dominant but never arrogant, for example, and I'll show you a saint.

Yep.

I kinda sorta think arrogant bastards at hot, actually.

 

[ZRT]

Yep.

I kinda sorta think arrogant bastards at hot, actually.

I had a pretty good argument with somebody about this about six years ago.

I think that a certain chipper arrogance is a virtue in life, so long as you're staying within the bounds of your capabilities.

Some call it confident, some call it cocky, some call it arrogant. It's very much an eye of the beholder kind of thing, and in that vein when you've got unfounded arrogance it sometimes falls into that old line of knowing it when you see it.

The most of us have the capability to do great and grand things, hidden depths and strengths that are too often corralled by fear and uncertainty. I think this world of ours needs a little more swagger.

 

[BiBunny]

If I'm not a little afraid of you, I'll walk all over you, and that means you aren't dominant at all, now, doesn't it?

 

[ZRT]

If I'm not a little afraid of you, I'll walk all over you, and that means you aren't dominant at all, now, doesn't it?

Interesting question, actually. Somebody might be able to dominate one pyl, but not another.

PYLs aren't uniform anymore than pyls, basically. It takes a certain kind of guy to run your show, for example.

I knew a guy who was perfectly fine running the household and topping for his wife, but they had an extremely laid-back relationship and household. A more, dare I say, ferocious subby would've run over him like a lawnmower.

 

[BiBunny]

Interesting question, actually. Somebody might be able to dominate one pyl, but not another.

PYLs aren't uniform anymore than pyls, basically. It takes a certain kind of guy to run your show, for example.

I knew a guy who was perfectly fine running the household and topping for his wife, but they had an extremely laid-back relationship and household. A more, dare I say, ferocious subby would've run over him like a lawnmower.

*Nods* I should've said, "You're not dominant over me at all, are you?"

 

[00Syd]

I like a little fear now and again.

 

[ZRT]

I think the reason this one raises so much dander hereabouts is because it's basically the PYL version of 'Gift of Submission'. Stuff like 'A dominant receives but never takes' and so on.

 

[JMohegan]

I found this essay and wanted to share it with you all...

It is an essay which was written by J. Mikael Togneri

He describes himself as a "born dominant"and writes of what he’s learned after over 20 years of being an active member of the BDSM lifestyle.



The Seven Pillars of Dominance

* A dominant is a ruler, but never a tyrant.
But to rule requires understanding, and understanding requires humility.

* A dominant has pride, but never arrogance.
But pride requires dignity, and dignity requires humility.

* A dominant commands respect, but never fear.
But respect requires serenity, and serenity requires humility.

* A dominant employs strength, but never force.
But strength requires knowledge, and knowledge requires humility.

* A dominant criticizes, but never derides.
But criticism requires insight, and insight requires humility.

* A dominant receives, but never takes.
But receiving requires giving, and giving requires humility.

* A dominant completes, but never tries to alter.
But to complete one must be able to see what is there, not what is missing,
and this most of all requires humility.


In short, to use an archaic phrase, noblesse oblige. If a dominant is the center of a submissive's universe, it is because she thinks so, not because he Is.

No one is respected, let alone obeyed, just because......

The truth of the matter is that owning is at least as much work as being owned!

~ J. Mikael Togneri ~ ​

English was hardly my best subject, but I'm fairly certain that doesn't count as an essay.

Goofy bullet point list is more like it.

What bugs me about the thing is that it's an idealized picture. A dominant is human, and has human traits.

Exactly.

And their strengths and weaknesses, points of integrity and points of dishonor, run the gamut of human character traits.

 

[Netzach]

If I didn't do derision tyranny and force, poor ol' H would fall asleep on me and I wouldn't blame him.

I love a little bit of arrogance in a submissive, actually. Applied in the right channels.

 

[Cattypuss]

Fear and desire are a VERY hot mixture in me.