Literotica Gripe!

[mentionME]

I know this will have me attacked but i'll say it anyway. In regards to the many questions people ask about how to turn on/impress/excite...SO's why do we tell them they should know best? I'm guilty of it as well but realistically I know it must be annoying. I vow to presume or present the caveat that they should hold my opinion/suggestion to the prejudice of their SO, and then provide an actual response.

WHO'S WIT ME!!!
(crickets chirping)

*In all seriousness however, I do think giving your personal preference and letting the poster adjust it to his relationship would help more than a "think harder you know him/her best"

 

[pointless]

Little Darlin' of my life
You keep movin' cross my mind
You gave me a sunny day
Now it looks as if I'll pay

Why do they say -- Bluebird is dead?
I can still see her, touch her, my Bluebird
The love that she gave, I don't believe, No, No, I don't believe

Bluebird came to me tonight
Waiting patiently for light
She said I know that you will grieve
But my darlin' I must leave

Why do they say -- Bluebird is dead?
I can still see her, touch her, my Bluebird
The love that she gave, I don't believe, No, No, I don't believe

Bluebird say it is not so
Please I cannot hear you speak
It must be that you're so tired
In the darkness of the night

Why do they say -- Bluebird is dead?
I can still see her, touch her, my Bluebird
The love that she gave, I don't believe, No, No, I don't believe

 

[Eilan]

Sometimes I think those threads are more about trolling for masturbation fodder than they are about getting advice.

But, in all honesty, shouldn't I know my partner best? Or at least try to?

 

[wicked woman]

In addition to Eilan's trolling comment, I think sometimes it baffles us why we get asked what a SO would like best instead of just asking the SO. We know nothing about the SO and whatever turns us on has absolutely nothing to do with what will excite the SO, making the question useless in discovering what the SO would like...hence the trolling question.

 

[kimbernee]

On top of which, I think there's a misplaced emphasis on newness and "surprise". At this point in my life, I have a pretty good idea what pushes my buttons and if I haven't seen my SO in a while or it's a special occasion, I'd like him to use the knowledge he already has of my body and my tastes to make a "my favorite things" or "our favorite things" kind of evening. It wouldn't be the time to introduce some random activity suggested by a stranger.

If my guy decides he's going to blindfold me and tickle me with a feather, where did that idea come from? From someone who doesn't know one thing about me, that's where. On the other hand, if he smacks my ass one day while doing me doggie, that's an extension of where we've already been together and him applying what he knows to where he can go. A good sexual relationship is organic. It grows. It doesn't jump around like a game of Twister. Right food, red; left hand, green.

 

[mentionME]

On top of which, I think there's a misplaced emphasis on newness and "surprise". At this point in my life, I have a pretty good idea what pushes my buttons and if I haven't seen my SO in a while or it's a special occasion, I'd like him to use the knowledge he already has of my body and my tastes to make a "my favorite things" or "our favorite things" kind of evening. It wouldn't be the time to introduce some random activity suggested by a stranger.

If my guy decides he's going to blindfold me and tickle me with a feather, where did that idea come from? From someone who doesn't know one thing about me, that's where. On the other hand, if he smacks my ass one day while doing me doggie, that's an extension of where we've already been together and him applying what he knows to where he can go. A good sexual relationship is organic. It grows. It doesn't jump around like a game of Twister. Right food, red; left hand, green.

That is pretty logical. Idk I tend to give posters the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes you want to step outside of yourself. Then again everyone could be right and they could just be jerking/jilling to our responses (which personally doesn't bother me).

*shrugs* guess they could always just pick up a cosmo lol.

 

[SweetErika]

Most of these threads are asking for a wide range of ideas for people we know almost nothing about. In my mind, it's a waste of everyone's time to just start suggesting stuff; after all, what if the OP has already tried most of the suggestions or the partner won't entertain any of the ideas given?

That's why I tend to suggest resources where the OP can go browse ideas and think for him/herself based on what s/he knows about her/his significant other. In the end, that's probably going to be a hell of a lot quicker for the OP than me writing up a list of ideas that are likely to be mostly misses, or even him/her giving us enough info to provide suggestions that are more likely to be hits.

If I ask you what meal my husband would really like tonight, aren't you more likely to point me to a recipe site than start listing different foods? After all, I should know at least some of his food preferences, allergies, what ingredients we have and my own culinary skill level, right?

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Most of these threads are asking for a wide range of ideas for people we know almost nothing about. In my mind, it's a waste of everyone's time to just start suggesting stuff; after all, what if the OP has already tried most of the suggestions or the partner won't entertain any of the ideas given?

That's why I tend to suggest resources where the OP can go browse ideas and think for him/herself based on what s/he knows about her/his significant other. In the end, that's probably going to be a hell of a lot quicker for the OP than me writing up a list of ideas that are likely to be mostly misses, or even him/her giving us enough info to provide suggestions that are more likely to be hits.

If I ask you what meal my husband would really like tonight, aren't you more likely to point me to a recipe site than start listing different foods? After all, I should know at least some of his food preferences, allergies, what ingredients we have and my own culinary skill level, right?

Hmmmmm. How about chicken parmesan? I bet he'd like that! Or a nice beef stew?

 

[mentionME]

@SweetErika: yea, I have always appreciated the outside links you provide.

@DeepGreenEyes: Those are both great ideas! can't go wrong with chicken parm...i'm a have to get some tomorrow (lol i know what i like but i can never decide anymore)

**Since we're on the subject of food, don't you hate that when your hungry it's so difficult to choose. MY GF and I, just end up saying it doesnt matter for hours .

 

[Nightbird]

I really really hate the "How do you get my......." threads. And of course most of them are posted by men trying to get their female other halves to do something the poor woman doesnt want to do.

What part of she doesnt want to do that cant these men understand? WTF!! Women are not here for our pleasure and to do whatever the hell we want. It's not ok to keep bugging her and pushing her and forcing her into doing something she doesnt want to!

This type of thinking and treatment of women drives me CRAZY!!!

 

[kaycee217]

I really really hate the "How do you get my......." threads. And of course most of them are posted by men trying to get their female other halves to do something the poor woman doesnt want to do.

What part of she doesnt want to do that cant these men understand? WTF!! Women are not here for our pleasure and to do whatever the hell we want. It's not ok to keep bugging her and pushing her and forcing her into doing something she doesnt want to!

This type of thinking and treatment of women drives me CRAZY!!!

I agree in principal, but there's a difference between trying to convince or persuade someone to do something and basically forcing them or being so relentless, they cave in to make the discomfort stop.

 

[Mobri]

On top of which, I think there's a misplaced emphasis on newness and "surprise". At this point in my life, I have a pretty good idea what pushes my buttons and if I haven't seen my SO in a while or it's a special occasion, I'd like him to use the knowledge he already has of my body and my tastes to make a "my favorite things" or "our favorite things" kind of evening. It wouldn't be the time to introduce some random activity suggested by a stranger.

If my guy decides he's going to blindfold me and tickle me with a feather, where did that idea come from? From someone who doesn't know one thing about me, that's where. On the other hand, if he smacks my ass one day while doing me doggie, that's an extension of where we've already been together and him applying what he knows to where he can go. A good sexual relationship is organic. It grows. It doesn't jump around like a game of Twister. Right food, red; left hand, green.

I think that if the partner introducing this new behavior discusses it and incorporates comfortable, reliable techniques and behaviors throughout it could be very successful.

That said, it requires sensitivity to your partner's needs and wishes. If you have that, it's unlikely that you will need to ask a mob of strangers for advice.