LD Punishments

[Imahavah]

I was not able to find any threads pertaining to this topic, so I posted my own. Please move or merge it if it needs to be.

My Sir and I were talking not long ago about the effectiveness of long distance punishments. There are times when I get grumpy or huffy and I forget myself and speak a little disrespectfully with my Sir. And so.....

The last punishment I had was to urinate standing up for the rest of the entire day.

Now, for punishments to be effective, the sub must submit to them, and the Dom must trust the child to actually follow through with them completely without thought of avoidance. This is absolutely essential I know. With my Sir, I have no desire to disobey him. I followed my punishment as given to me. I was quite impressed with how much it focused me on what I did to deserve it. The punishment kept Sir firmly and front center of my mind each time I had to go to the bathroom.

When the punishment was over, Sir and I had a discussion about it. What did I learn? How did it feel? Was it unpleasant? (definitely it was and took great concentration on my part). Once he was satisfied that I had indeed learned something, we moved on to other things. I had been properly put into my place, and we could finally move on to talking about other things..pleasant things..**** things. LOL

My question to other long distance D/s ers...is ... what do you do to accomplish effective punishment? IF you incorporate that to your lifestyle. My Sir and I have been trying to find other ideas, different punishments so that things are not anticipated. It is amazing how little I am finding on the subject via research.

 

[ecstaticsub]

This is a complicated question to answer. I can't even remember the last time I was punished. It is more discipline than punishments. And it always directly fits the behavior.

For example something simple from my earlier years...if I posted a comment on a forum we were both on that was disrespectful or out-of-line from his POV he would ban me from the forum for a set period of time.

Mostly though he doesn't punish me by making me do or not do something right away. He cruelly waits until the right opportunity comes up--sometimes weeks or months later--and then he will demand obedience--an action or words--that fits the "crime" but tends to emotionally or mentally hurt much more than any punishment tasks he could have thought up for me to perform. It tends to cut into my need to be a good girl, the well serving submissive. It drives into my heart the fact that my action or disobedience had disappointed him.

It is very, very effective and never a fun punishment. Which is probably why in more than 4.5 years I have been punished very rarely. That does not count the times when he will save up a particularly painful, humiliating not erotic or fun beating for when we do get together. But that has only happened twice.

I do try to be very obedient. His disappointment is my worse punishment.

 

[Love2Lust]

I'm actually really glad you posted this because I have been wondering too....

Sometimes my Master has asked me to think of a punishment i think i deserve that is fitting to the infraction. If he thinks the one i chose is acceptable that we follow through with it. If not I have to think harder...It's a good idea for me because my mind starts running wild about all of the things he could tell me to do but it's not him telling me it's me thinking it. Does that make sense?

 

[Imahavah]

This is a complicated question to answer. I can't even remember the last time I was punished. It is more discipline than punishments. And it always directly fits the behavior.

For example something simple from my earlier years...if I posted a comment on a forum we were both on that was disrespectful or out-of-line from his POV he would ban me from the forum for a set period of time.

Mostly though he doesn't punish me by making me do or not do something right away. He cruelly waits until the right opportunity comes up--sometimes weeks or months later--and then he will demand obedience--an action or words--that fits the "crime" but tends to emotionally or mentally hurt much more than any punishment tasks he could have thought up for me to perform. It tends to cut into my need to be a good girl, the well serving submissive. It drives into my heart the fact that my action or disobedience had disappointed him.

It is very, very effective and never a fun punishment. Which is probably why in more than 4.5 years I have been punished very rarely. That does not count the times when he will save up a particularly painful, humiliating not erotic or fun beating for when we do get together. But that has only happened twice.

I do try to be very obedient. His disappointment is my worse punishment.

I hope that after that amount of time, I am a lot less willfull. I am seeking the balance you seem to have. I hate to dissapoint my Sir as well.

 

[Imahavah]

I'm actually really glad you posted this because I have been wondering too....

Sometimes my Master has asked me to think of a punishment i think i deserve that is fitting to the infraction. If he thinks the one i chose is acceptable that we follow through with it. If not I have to think harder...It's a good idea for me because my mind starts running wild about all of the things he could tell me to do but it's not him telling me it's me thinking it. Does that make sense?

Yeah that makes sense! I really hope that others chime in here to help find more to explore in this area. I am glad someone else is as curious about this as I am.

Normally, I am no good at punishments to fit the crime. In addition, having to have them be effective long distance is a challenge. I am sure it is a challenge for Sir as well though.

 

[amandareef]

I had a LD Master and i was told one time to not bring my self to an orgam. As a punishment for not getting back to him in time. It was three days before he let me and with the waiting did nothing but intensafy the feeling i had for him and being what feels right to me.

 

[SimonBrooke]

I had a LD Master and i was told one time to not bring my self to an orgam. As a punishment for not getting back to him in time. It was three days before he let me and with the waiting did nothing but intensafy the feeling i had for him and being what feels right to me.

Withholding/denying orgasm is one long distance punishment that certainly works (providing the sub complies - but if she doesn't, then there's really no future in an LDR). The other, of course, is withholding contact. You need to be careful, though, because lack of contact rapidly erodes an LDR.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Withholding/denying orgasm is one long distance punishment that certainly works (providing the sub complies - but if she doesn't, then there's really no future in an LDR). The other, of course, is withholding contact. You need to be careful, though, because lack of contact rapidly erodes an LDR.

Just my opinion, but witholding contact is extremely dangerous in LDR's and should never be done as punishment. We have about once a year taken up to 2 week "breaks". It is more of a cooling off period than anything else. It is where neither of us is suppose to expect contact or make contact with the other. (Doesn't always work out that way) It has worked in that it has allowed tempers to cool down and prevent either of us from saying something we will surely regret later.

But if my Daddy ever used it as a punishment...well, that would be the same as him saying "I release you".

As far as not allowing orgasms...I am thank fun Daddy sees that as "cruel and unusual punishment" for me. But I can understand why and how it would work for others.

 

[Imahavah]

Withholding/denying orgasm is one long distance punishment that certainly works (providing the sub complies - but if she doesn't, then there's really no future in an LDR). The other, of course, is withholding contact. You need to be careful, though, because lack of contact rapidly erodes an LDR.

Oh withholding contact is not an option. Sir won't hear of it. Thank goodness. But denial of orgasm...yeah been there...

 

[amandareef]

I did do some public humilition is an idea. Had to get an ice cream in the park walking with it a at some point had to smeer it on my top. I acting like it spiled it over my left breast and stay it the park hanging out/ reading for an anther hour not cleaning my self up. I know to some that was BS task to o but to and others it did have an efect.

 

[HisSexyPet]

My worst punishment was withholding of communication...but not from Sir, from everyone else. I had to put the status on yahoo instant messaging something to the effect of "I have been a bad girl and shown disrespect to my Master. I can not talk for three days. "

I lost a couple of Lit "friends", but those that understood have stayed as my friends and we are closer for it. B only had to do it one time. I think well and hard now before saying things that He might see as disrespectful.

 

[Adakgirl]

the Dom must trust the child to actually follow through with them completely without thought of avoidance. This is absolutely essential I know.

If it is not a Daddy Dom type of relationship, I disagree with using the word "child" when describing a submissive. I am a grown adult woman and referring to me as a child is highly offensive IMO.
anyway...

If the submissive is seriously dedicated to learning from her mistakes and growing in her submission, then she has to realize that if she does not follow through when being disciplined or punished, her LDR relationship means nothing. Her submission is null and void. It won't work at all. If she receives instructions from her PLY and disobeys them then that leads her into hiding things and lying about disobeying. It is her loss because she cannot possibly learn or grow.

With that said, the Dom still has every right to request proof that the punishment has been carried out and completed to his satisfaction. Trust is something that should be built, not automatically given. This can be done by the PLY watching the punishment being carried out by the sub, live, real-time via webcam chat on Yahoo or Skype programs. During this webcam session they can type to each other or he can choose to give her verbal instructions using the voice feature, she can respond in voice too, all you need is a headset with a built-in microphone. This method is very effective.

Or the submissive can record a vid of her doing her punishment with a webcam. Then the vid can be uploaded to a website that gives you a private page in which to do so. Once uploaded hen she can give her PLY the secret pin. I have been told that anybody who has the right know-how and has certain programs can get to your vid, so it's not safe. But as long as you don't show any identifying features you should be fine.

There is a free program called Debut Video Capture Software you can download that gives you the software to record a vid, then use Windows Movie Maker to edit, turn it into a movie and save it onto your computer.

 

[AbiNormyl]

My worst punishment was withholding of communication...but not from Sir, from everyone else. I had to put the status on yahoo instant messaging something to the effect of "I have been a bad girl and shown disrespect to my Master. I can not talk for three days. "

I lost a couple of Lit "friends", but those that understood have stayed as my friends and we are closer for it. B only had to do it one time. I think well and hard now before saying things that He might see as disrespectful.

I have had to do this also. I have also had to fast for a day; nothing but water. There is also writing a report and sending it to him.

I had the ultimate threat over my head at all times though, if I disobeyed more than three times (not minor things but direct orders) it would end the relationship. This kept me pretty good for the most part.

 

[OldGuy1026]

Long Distance Punishments

First you should establish a bond of trust. Just how much do you trust your cyber Master, well you will just have to take a big breath and jump. Try not to use a personal email address with you name on it if possible. Secondly get a digital camera and get ready to show proof of your willingness to be a cyber slave.

1. Self punishment spankings, find out which works best, and photo catalogue it. This means a mirror and just how much you can hit yourself and then have somebody else order more. Now you have to be honest.
2. Personal grooming, have your lover post a series of pictures of themselves shaving their genitals.
3. Order something real kinky like to wear an adult disposable diaper. Or whatever kink clothing but with documentation, like sitting on the day’s newspaper with the date clearly visible.
4. Order changes to personal profile picture of most resent part of body naked.
5. Order your lover to wear a new butt-plug and photo document it.

Remember trust, a good Master should be willing to send a photo of his own cock to his slave to adore too. The road goes two ways.

 

[The__Boss]

punishment/Correction ideas

I am in a LD relationship and have been for 3 months now, so still consider myself not as experienced as most.
I have full respect for and trust in my female sub and she has full respect and trust in me. I provide a task
for my sub each day which she always carries out, but as this thread is focused on punishment i will expand on that
area. I prefer the term correction rather than punishment and fortunately its rare that we have to use correction
as she is very willing and only occasionally steps out of line.

My sub has a nasty habit of smoking way too much so whenever we are online either on yahoo messenger, on video skype
or indeed when we have met (twice so far) my sub has to ask for permission to smoke. Once i give my answer my sub
will thank me for my consideration to the request whether its a yes or no.

Given she has smoked for years and this is a new instruction she is inclined to forget her manners, which will need
correction.

I have numerous techniques used includingvthe aforementioned orgasm restrictions but never the contact restriction.
Our relationship is based on the contact so seems a futile tactic to restrict that!

The latest correction techniue used this week was fresh ginger inserted in my subs pussy. She peels a piece of ginger
and inserts it. On this occasion she was off to her mums so had to wear it there (10 min walk) and back again.

As ever she did this although walking slow was painful, walking fast was painful so running seemed the best option
as it meant the least amount of time!

 

[Imahavah]

I am in a LD relationship and have been for 3 months now, so still consider myself not as experienced as most.
I have full respect for and trust in my female sub and she has full respect and trust in me.

The latest correction techniue used this week was fresh ginger inserted in my subs pussy. She peels a piece of ginger
and inserts it. On this occasion she was off to her mums so had to wear it there (10 min walk) and back again.

As ever she did this although walking slow was painful, walking fast was painful so running seemed the best option
as it meant the least amount of time!

I too trust my Master absolutely. We built that trust long ago.

My Master likes your idea of ginger. I don't plan on making him use that one! LOL

Thank you for the input!!!

 

[DarkAmaranth]

One punishment that I was given was to write lines (by hand), which I then scanned in and emailed to Him. I found that it was quite effective mentally, as my handwriting is usually almost illegible and so I had to concentrate on making a neat job of it.

 

[The__Boss]

Corrections That Miss The Point

After a recent incident a new correction was used, however the correction applied turned out to be so enjoyable for my sub that it is now part of our regular task cycle!

The correction was due to my sub orgasming without permission, i decided that as she was so hot she needed cooling off.

6 ice cubes were to be inserted into my subs pussy until they melted away. As it turns out this was enjoyable and gave new feels so we now use this on occasions but not as correction.

Does anyone else come across corrections that turned out to be something more if so let us know as we are always looking for new things to try.........

 

[Imahavah]

After a recent incident a new correction was used, however the correction applied turned out to be so enjoyable for my sub that it is now part of our regular task cycle!

The correction was due to my sub orgasming without permission, i decided that as she was so hot she needed cooling off.

6 ice cubes were to be inserted into my subs pussy until they melted away. As it turns out this was enjoyable and gave new feels so we now use this on occasions but not as correction.

Does anyone else come across corrections that turned out to be something more if so let us know as we are always looking for new things to try.........

LOL Yes that would have ended up on the list of don'ts for me as well, though the cold is initially shocking.

I would be interested too in corrections that turned into pleasures.

 

[BustyBabeMA31]

Interesting Thread!

As a rule I don't get into LDRs because past experience has taught me that they don't work out for me and are very difficult to keep under control. Some punishments I have given in the past included:

1. Self-inflicted spankings with pics as proof.
2. Prohibiting use of a favorite toy, video or consumption of a favorite food/drink.
3. Video of elastics snapped on nipples (self-inflicted).

I find that taking away one's "right" to masturbate as punishment only works with certain subs and only when you've established a strong hold/connection over the other.

I'm interested to see what others have come up with!

 

[Franks_Angel]

I do try to be very obedient. His disappointment is my worse punishment.

I heard THAT!!!!!!!! Knowing Master is disappointed in me crushes me!!!

Frank's slave, Crystal

 

[insert____here]

i don't think i would tolerate with-holding communication with Him as a punishment. communication is the core of our relationship and doing something to damage that wouldn't be good. that said, yes, i faithfully carry out punishments when required. whatever they may be. He gets proof of punishment.
in all honesty i probably beat myself up more emotionally for failing to meet my own standards in serving than He would ever think to punish me for. at least so far. it's still early, so lets how things change long term.

 

[Imahavah]

I tend to beat myself up emotionally too when I have been disobedient. I have been known to break out in tears after disappointing Master.

 

[the captians wench]

I do try to be very obedient. His disappointment is my worse punishment.

My mentality mirrors yours a lot sometimes. What drives me most is my need to be a "good girl", to please him and recieve his aproval. Nothing crushes me more than his disappointment, and often I will make something out to be worse than it is because of this.

He is very careful to establish when he's really upset and when something is a minor infraction. I'm usually harder on myself than he is on me, and often the mental aspect of a punishment is worse than any physical one.

I'm actually really glad you posted this because I have been wondering too....

Sometimes my Master has asked me to think of a punishment i think i deserve that is fitting to the infraction. If he thinks the one i chose is acceptable that we follow through with it. If not I have to think harder...It's a good idea for me because my mind starts running wild about all of the things he could tell me to do but it's not him telling me it's me thinking it. Does that make sense?

Jounar is really good at this *giggles*. He often has me pick my punishments, but insted of telling me to think harder when I haven't picked something satisfactory, he says "and". I then have to come up with more, and they are both done. This has gone as far as 5 things before (but that was probably the only time he was truely disapointed in me).

Withholding/denying orgasm is one long distance punishment that certainly works (providing the sub complies - but if she doesn't, then there's really no future in an LDR). The other, of course, is withholding contact. You need to be careful, though, because lack of contact rapidly erodes an LDR.

Just my opinion, but witholding contact is extremely dangerous in LDR's and should never be done as punishment. We have about once a year taken up to 2 week "breaks". It is more of a cooling off period than anything else. It is where neither of us is suppose to expect contact or make contact with the other. (Doesn't always work out that way) It has worked in that it has allowed tempers to cool down and prevent either of us from saying something we will surely regret later.

But if my Daddy ever used it as a punishment...well, that would be the same as him saying "I release you".

As far as not allowing orgasms...I am thank fun Daddy sees that as "cruel and unusual punishment" for me. But I can understand why and how it would work for others.

I totally agree on the contact thing here. I have abandonment issues, and if you cut contact to punish me, you might as well not contact me again because you obviously do not care enough about me to have my best interests in mind.

As to the orgasm denial, Jounar never used it as punishment, it just became part of our day to day life. He owns me, all of me, and there for owns my orgasm. I get them when he gifts them to me. We wouldn't have it any other way. For us, it's just one more way to keep each other close. If I only cum when he permits me, then I am totally focased on him when I do.

But Punishments and corrections for us are a little different. Knowing that he is not happy is plenty enough punishment for me. The physical acts after are usually for his enjoyment and kind of to let me know the slate is clean. We can do the same acts for punishment and play, but if they are punishment they hurt differently than if they are play. It's like I don't allow myself to enjoy them if they are punishment.

But I've always been my hardest cridic. So it's one of those "know your pyl" things.

 

[Franks_Angel]

But I've always been my hardest cridic. So it's one of those "know your pyl" things.

Absolutely. My Master has already learned to tell me "I'm not mad, Angel. It's not that big a deal, baby." which actually sometimes works LOL. But many times I still kick myself for infractions ... real or imagined.

Frank's slave, Crystal