Some examples/scenarios/ideas?

[lizpy]

I'm somewhat new to this.
I hadn't really even thought about it until my boyfriend had mentioned it was something he was into but all he described it as was for me to "take charge" and "be rougher". I know he's a bit concerned I'll find it weird so he's kept the description to a minimum. I have asked him for a few specifics. He's mentioned things like dripping wax, tying him up, blindfolding, biting, etc. but he is looking more for me to give him examples I've come up with for whatever reasons he has. Unfortunately, although I have no problem making all this a reality for him, I do not have any examples/scenarios/ideas of my own. I simply cannot come up with anything. Any specific-ish things I could do would be greatly appreciated. I'm not sure if this has already been asked, I apologize if this is just a repeated question.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I'm somewhat new to this.
I hadn't really even thought about it until my boyfriend had mentioned it was something he was into but all he described it as was for me to "take charge" and "be rougher". I know he's a bit concerned I'll find it weird so he's kept the description to a minimum. I have asked him for a few specifics. He's mentioned things like dripping wax, tying him up, blindfolding, biting, etc. but he is looking more for me to give him examples I've come up with for whatever reasons he has. Unfortunately, although I have no problem making all this a reality for him, I do not have any examples/scenarios/ideas of my own. I simply cannot come up with anything. Any specific-ish things I could do would be greatly appreciated. I'm not sure if this has already been asked, I apologize if this is just a repeated question.

Tie him to the bed, blindfold him, then tease him.

With your hands, your mouth, various textured cloths, ie fur, silk, leather.. feathers even? even other sensations like ice, or the wax you mentioned.

Go slow, when he begs for more, or something specific, stop, and do something else you want to do. Make him wait for more, make him wait until you're ready.

Remember, you're in charge. Take your pleasure, then let him have his.

*shrugs*

Is that what you're after?

 

[subish2009]

Go read some of the BDSM stories on Lit for inspiration.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

... Unfortunately, although I have no problem making all this a reality for him, I do not have any examples/scenarios/ideas of my own...

No ideas? And didn't hop over to the story side of the site? ? ? I hate to say this, but you may not exactly be a "natural" Dominant or Sadist. However, in the hopes of kickstarting a latent or dormant inclination:

May I suggest any movie with Sybil Danning playing the prison warden or interrogator? Prison movies. Deliverance has brilliant ideas... Hey a girl with a strap on can make him squeal like a pig...

Hell, make him wear a frilly french maid outfit and wash the windows.
Make him do the laundry.
Empty his checking account and give you the money.

There's a reason I'm called EVIL Geoff...

 

[AbiNormyl]

hmm get a Chastity device and put it on him.

or make him wear a ribbon around his cock and balls.

wear stilletos

panties

needles

oh and make him cook and clean...yes i like that...

oh alright i can't do better than evil Geoff; he is evil you know and i am only mildly sadistic.

 

[CutieMouse]

No ideas? And didn't hop over to the story side of the site? ? ? I hate to say this, but you may not exactly be a "natural" Dominant or Sadist. However, in the hopes of kickstarting a latent or dormant inclination:

May I suggest any movie with Sybil Danning playing the prison warden or interrogator? Prison movies. Deliverance has brilliant ideas... Hey a girl with a strap on can make him squeal like a pig...

Hell, make him wear a frilly french maid outfit and wash the windows.
Make him do the laundry.
Empty his checking account and give you the money.

There's a reason I'm called EVIL Geoff...

Service submission is always a possibility (although it might not necessarily be what he's looking for) - draw your bath, wash your hair, lotion, pedicure, tea service. If he's craving discomfort the above can be done while clamped, etc.

Sensation play is relatively easy - blindfold him, announce he's not to climax without permission, then edge him along ("ruining" the moment of climax several times before granting permission) - climaxing with only a 1/4" sable hair artist's brush for stimulation will probably... frustrate him.

I'm rather fond of corner time (with stress positions/etc) and being watched, but I have a humiliation kink backing it up so it's not everyone's cup of tea.

I would recommend avoiding wax play until you've read up on it/tested it on yourself - dealing with minor/moderate burns can take the fun out of the evening.

 

[midwestyankee]

What turns his crank? What gets him so hot that he could pop his load with only a stroke or two of your hand, mouth, etc.? It's a little hard for us to tell based on the short list that he gave you because the wax play and blindfolds are often used in the movies and porn as emblems of sado-masochistic sexual play. He may really be turned on by those ideas or he may be using them because they're all he knows about s-m play.

To get the most out of this kind of play with your partner, you both have to come out well satisfied. Will you enjoy having complete control over his arousal and eventual release? Will you want to try hurting him a bit, or humiliating him, or making him serve you in some way (perhaps a humiliating one, as CM suggested)? Will you want to watch him come to his final release or do you think you'd rather saddle up and go along for the ride? Begin by thinking about what you want and then consider how to get that while giving him what he wants.

It's just my guess, but it seems to me that he may like the idea of being dominated more than any particular act of domination (the wax play, for example). If this is the case, then he'll get his rocks off like a moon rocket if you take control and play him and his arousal for an hour or two. Don't hurry. In fact, if he's accustomed to a quick bang and climax followed by another round of the horizontal mambo a bit later, make him wait. Make him wait a very long time for his release. That will trigger his "I'm not in charge here" sensors in his reptilian brain (the part that drives sex) and you'll have accomplished the end of giving him what he wants.

Play such as this is highly personal. What turns one person's crank might bore or frighten another person. You know him pretty well; do what you know will make both of you deeply aroused and just enjoy the ride.