I think most women are basically sluts.

[eastern sun]

When we were thirteen, "slut" was the biggest insult you could hurl at a girl. It basically meant you were stupid, potentially diseased, and had no self-esteem.

When I was 14, I stopped going to parties because of it. I sat in my house and drank myself stupid instead.

Around the PTA moms at school, a "slut" is one of the other moms who's flirting with all the husbands.

About a year ago, I tried to stop flirting with all their husbands.

Privately, I love being called a "slut." Publicly, it hasn't worked out so well.

 

[JMohegan]

Can't say that I've ever heard slut used as a compliment, or even neutral term, when applied to another person. I have only heard it used as an insult, meaning either: female who fucks indiscriminately, or: female who goes after other females' males.

Guys may fuck sluts, but most men I know do not consider indiscriminate promiscuity to be a positive trait when it comes to selecting a committed partner or spouse.

An exception to the above, of course, is the name calling that some appreciate within a private relationship. Not literally accurate, but making the addressee feel naughty and therefore hot.

 

[00Syd]

I know for a fact that most guys I know who are in the BDSM community either don't care whether or not a woman is promiscuous or see it as a positive and sought after trait. The vanilla guys I know are a different story, however.

 

[JMohegan]

I know for a fact that most guys I know who are in the BDSM community either don't care whether or not a woman is promiscuous or see it as a positive and sought after trait. The vanilla guys I know are a different story, however.

Promiscuous, as in: fucking a lot of different guys, without exercising care, judgment, or selectivity in choosing whom they fuck?


"Positive and sought after" for fucking, or for selecting an established partner?

 

[ownedsubgal]

Promiscuous, as in: fucking a lot of different guys, without exercising care, judgment, or selectivity in choosing whom they fuck?


"Positive and sought after" for fucking, or for selecting an established partner?

exactly. of course a great deal of men want to fuck sluts/promiscuous women. it is the very very rare man who seeks a committed and loving relationship with such a woman. i'm extremely fortunate in that my Master happens to fall in that group of very rare men.

 

[graceanne]

When we were thirteen, "slut" was the biggest insult you could hurl at a girl. It basically meant you were stupid, potentially diseased, and had no self-esteem.

When I was 14, I stopped going to parties because of it. I sat in my house and drank myself stupid instead.

Around the PTA moms at school, a "slut" is one of the other moms who's flirting with all the husbands.

About a year ago, I tried to stop flirting with all their husbands.

Privately, I love being called a "slut." Publicly, it hasn't worked out so well.

I want to go to PTA meetings with you.

Just sayin'.

Or "little one"
Ok I might be short but if anyone calls me "little one" without my permission they are going to be called something very nasty back.
I so hate that one.

Seriously. Along with obscene gestures.

I think most men are sluts, at least mentally. Therefore I think most men believe / hope most women are sluts.

Very likely.

 

[BiBunny]

It takes more than a few nasty words to insult me, usually. The worst insult I've gotten lately was not meant to an insult at all; it just hurt my feelings. A waiter at a restaurant in town called me Sir. Multiple times. It made me wonder if, in spite of the 20 pounds of boobs, I've become so fat and ugly and troll-like and unfeminine that I look like a man. I'm hoping that guy was really either just stupid or nervous and couldn't figure out how to correct his mistake, rather than being intentionally hurtful.

 

[graceanne]

It takes more than a few nasty words to insult me, usually. The worst insult I've gotten lately was not meant to an insult at all; it just hurt my feelings. A waiter at a restaurant in town called me Sir. Multiple times. It made me wonder if, in spite of the 20 pounds of boobs, I've become so fat and ugly and troll-like and unfeminine that I look like a man. I'm hoping that guy was really either just stupid or nervous and couldn't figure out how to correct his mistake, rather than being intentionally hurtful.

Or military where women are called sir.

 

[ownedsubgal]

It takes more than a few nasty words to insult me, usually. The worst insult I've gotten lately was not meant to an insult at all; it just hurt my feelings. A waiter at a restaurant in town called me Sir. Multiple times. It made me wonder if, in spite of the 20 pounds of boobs, I've become so fat and ugly and troll-like and unfeminine that I look like a man. I'm hoping that guy was really either just stupid or nervous and couldn't figure out how to correct his mistake, rather than being intentionally hurtful.

maybe he was a little (or a lot) on the Forest Gump "slow" side. either that, or he just needed to be punched in the face.



*sorry, my violent side comes out at times*

 

[gloriann]

For me, the terms "good girl" and "slut" go hand in hand, oddly. Only one person can call me either, and at the right time, and I'm happy. Anyone else, at any time, for any reason... it's just a bad idea.

 

[bruisedangel]

Slut really doesn't bother me. However, if there were anyone else in the world to call me good girl, other than my PYL, I would be a shade on the irritated side. From him, it comes out as praise. From anyone else...meh, I think it would be highly patronizing.

 

[graceanne]

maybe he was a little (or a lot) on the Forest Gump "slow" side. either that, or he just needed to be punched in the face.



*sorry, my violent side comes out at times*

S'ok. I agree, especially if he was deliberately being rude.

 

[00Syd]

Promiscuous, as in: fucking a lot of different guys, without exercising care, judgment, or selectivity in choosing whom they fuck?


"Positive and sought after" for fucking, or for selecting an established partner?

Promiscuous as in fucking a whole lot, willing and eager to fuck just about anyone, and definitely will fuck anyone if told to by a PYL.

Positive and sought after for fucking, for a play partner, for an established partner, whatever.

That might not be a quality that you find attractive, and wouldn't want in a partner, but I know a lot of guys who are really into sluts, the more promiscuous the better. Whatever, to each their own.

 

[JMohegan]

Promiscuous as in fucking a whole lot, willing and eager to fuck just about anyone, and definitely will fuck anyone if told to by a PYL.

Positive and sought after for fucking, for a play partner, for an established partner, whatever.

That might not be a quality that you find attractive, and wouldn't want in a partner, but I know a lot of guys who are really into sluts, the more promiscuous the better. Whatever, to each their own.

If a guy wants to fuck a coed, what he tells her is not necessarily what he really thinks.

"My girlfriend is so awesome, she'll fuck anything with a dick." Kinky or not, if that were the new standard, it would represent a dramatic cultural shift.

 

[00Syd]

If a guy wants to fuck a coed, what he tells her is not necessarily what he really thinks.

"My girlfriend is so awesome, she'll fuck anything with a dick." Kinky or not, if that were the new standard, it would represent a dramatic cultural shift.

Dude, its not your kink, whatever. Some guys are really into slutty women, big deal. Its not a new standard, and I doubt that a bunch of kinky dudes who are really into promiscuous pyl's is that indicative of any major cultural shift. This isn't some slutpocalypse or something.

 

[Ravenwind]

Bunny, don't feel bad. I've been there too, and I'm in much the same boat as yourself. I'm actually becoming accustomed to being called "sir", as often as it happens. ...of course, it probably doesn't help my case when I wear more leather and have more metal in various piercings than your average motorcycle. ^_~ But you'd think the *boobs* would give it away. I just shrug and say "people are stupid". ^_^

On topic, I feel "frigid" is worse an insult than "slut". I mean, "slut" simply implies promiscuity (and all the problems associated with that, such as uncleanliness, diseases, and so on), whereas "frigid" is a loaded word that can imply cold-heartedness, so cold that it not only affects their sex drive (slowing it to an icy halt), but also their likelihood to give "icy stares", and even down to the lack of warmth and pleasantness of their vagina itself (likening it to a frozen cave).

Personally, I find "good girl" a tightrope of a name. Depends on who is saying it and what the situation is (I would enjoy it from my Husband for any reason, or, it would be acceptable from close friends who're prone to "cutesy titles for everyone" who's trying to teach me to do something and I succeed, or something like that). Coming from anyone else, it would be very awkward. Not in the sense of being called a slut or frigid (as neither of which really bother me)... but it'd be akin to someone calling Marty McFly (from Back to the Future) a chicken. A man trying to be dominant to me, and calling me "good girl", outside of those exclusive few, just doesn't work.

 

[FurryFury]

I know for a fact that most guys I know who are in the BDSM community either don't care whether or not a woman is promiscuous or see it as a positive and sought after trait. The vanilla guys I know are a different story, however.

I've never, to my knowledge, met this kind of guy.

 

[00Syd]

I've never, to my knowledge, met this kind of guy.

I see that I said "most," and that's inaccurate and I apologize, its not most guys in scene that I know, but its certainly a good number. Maybe its a New York thing. Or maybe my view is just skewed because one of the first guys to help get me into the scene was big on the swinger community, too, and introduced me to a bunch of his kinky, swinger friends. But I also know non-swinger kinky guys who are into big-time sluts. So yeah. Maybe its a NY scene thing. Or maybe I just know a lot of guys who like the idea of their pyl's actually being dirty little sluts. I mean, that's really not even that weird of a preference, as far as the scene goes.

*shrug*

 

[Homburg]

Dude, its not your kink, whatever. Some guys are really into slutty women, big deal. Its not a new standard, and I doubt that a bunch of kinky dudes who are really into promiscuous pyl's is that indicative of any major cultural shift. This isn't some slutpocalypse or something.

I've actually seen this as well. Not so much around, but I have noticed it in other areas and on various web-groups. The willingness to do so is consider a major plus, and there is a cachet associated with having a girl that is willing to do so, as well as the willingness to share. Maybe it's just a venn diagram between "swingers" and "BDSM'ers" and these people fill the crossover area? *shrug*

Mostly though, I just had to acknowledge the bolded word above. Hell yeah. Rock on, Sydmissive.

 

[00Syd]

Mostly though, I just had to acknowledge the bolded word above. Hell yeah. Rock on, Sydmissive.

Every time you, or anyone else, says that I blush a little. I'm so awesome I get my own word.



That's right, bitches.

 

[FurryFury]

Yep, it could be New York or the swinger cross over or even a generational thing. I dunno.

Personally I bristle a bit if anyone suggests that I'm the least bit slutty or frigid because I'm not. People just love slinging those extremes though.

Me, I'm a good little bad girl. LOL

I see that I said "most," and that's inaccurate and I apologize, its not most guys in scene that I know, but its certainly a good number. Maybe its a New York thing. Or maybe my view is just skewed because one of the first guys to help get me into the scene was big on the swinger community, too, and introduced me to a bunch of his kinky, swinger friends. But I also know non-swinger kinky guys who are into big-time sluts. So yeah. Maybe its a NY scene thing. Or maybe I just know a lot of guys who like the idea of their pyl's actually being dirty little sluts. I mean, that's really not even that weird of a preference, as far as the scene goes.

*shrug*

 

[Netzach]

If a guy wants to fuck a coed, what he tells her is not necessarily what he really thinks.

"My girlfriend is so awesome, she'll fuck anything with a dick." Kinky or not, if that were the new standard, it would represent a dramatic cultural shift.

I'd say that the demographic who is sad that their wife won't want to fuck someone else right in front of them or even for a weekend without them is much much larger and wider than you'd give thought.

I don't think it's just some new generational thing either. I think it's rendered unacceptable by the very notion that "no one really wants it"

I talk on a daily basis DAILY to someone who wants it or even has done it. And I'm most fortunate in my choice of mates. Two are thrilled that I'm fucking the third and the third is completely unfazed by the ways in which I fuck them.

My HS albatross was being a loser who couldn't get any, so the ephithet "slut" really doesn't work on me, for better or for worse.

 

[Wyldfire]

For me, the terms "good girl" and "slut" go hand in hand, oddly. Only one person can call me either, and at the right time, and I'm happy. Anyone else, at any time, for any reason... it's just a bad idea.

I like you. Do I work with you?

 

[Wyldfire]

It takes more than a few nasty words to insult me, usually. The worst insult I've gotten lately was not meant to an insult at all; it just hurt my feelings. A waiter at a restaurant in town called me Sir. Multiple times. It made me wonder if, in spite of the 20 pounds of boobs, I've become so fat and ugly and troll-like and unfeminine that I look like a man. I'm hoping that guy was really either just stupid or nervous and couldn't figure out how to correct his mistake, rather than being intentionally hurtful.

He was being mean hun.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Or "little one"
Ok I might be short but if anyone calls me "little one" without my permission they are going to be called something very nasty back.
I so hate that one.

Oh god yes.

I tend not to say much back though. I just move on.

I find endearments from strangers to be a bit condescending, though I understand it's not meant that way.