I think most women are basically sluts.

[sookie80]

I agree. I'm a woman, and am almost always horny. Except maybe when I'm asleep. But even then I'll wake up with my hand between my legs. I dont mind being called a slut, sometimes it turns me on even more..... and I have no problem calling men out on their slutiness. Hehe

 

[StrayKat]

my submissive personality is wired in such a way that it would never occur to me to say no or refuse sex. beyond that, i view sex as service anyway, a way for me to please and be of use to my partner...therefore, no horniness necessary.

I see. So you dont get the pleasure from act itself but from pleasing your partner.
Thank you for clarifying

is it really a common belief that most women only have sex when they're super eager, juices flowing, rip roaring and ready to go??

I think you are bit exaggerating here.
I certainly didnt always have sex when I was positively bursting with the initial wish for it. But I never had sex when I was absolutely not in mood for it.

Sometimes there can be something to make me change my mood, a special look, tone of voice, touch. I am high wired, I get aroused very fast and easy, according to my men. It doesnt take much really. Maybe it is the fact that my arousal rises with other persons arousal, namely if I see a cock getting hard on me I generally react on it by getting wet. Harder it gets more horny it makes me.
I could never have sex with people that are not sexually interested in me, that would cool me off completely.

On the other hand if I feel especially miserable, sick, angry, worried..... no, there is nothing a man can do to get me going. In that case any persistent sexual offer just makes me angry at him. Then I simply dont have sex, I dont want it and I dont do it. He is free to try and arouse me if he really wants to, but if I say "no" again that is it.
Not to mention that if my man insist on having sex while I feel totally miserable and not in a mood it would probably very much hurt our relationship.
I said would because I never experienced it in relationship so far, all my guys were very careful not to push anything.

So, I guess, we are all just different

 

[CuteBrat]

just because a woman will not say no to sex, does not mean that she is particularly horny or amped up about it. i am rarely horny, and i have never said no to sex. another semantic quibble, being a "slut" has nothing to do with sexual desire.

Like you, I am not allowed to say no to sex. And yes, men have had sex with me when I didn't want to, or at least didn't want to with them. But in a weird way, few things make me hornier than being made to have sex when I'm not horny. Not sure if that makes any sense...but its how I am wired.

 

[Yasashii_Kaze]

I do find that sex is on my mind probably a lot more often than it should be, but I have no problem saying no to sex. I am driven by my mind, not tossed about randomly by my desires or emotions. I am capable of feeling horny and yet prioritizing what needs to be done and when it is appropriate. I'm not a robot; you don't push my buttons and expect to get some if you guess the right pattern.

That being said, I rarely turn down sex involving someone with whom I am in a committed relationship. In fact, I usually initiate it. I am an intensely sexual being with female parts and a brain, and I'm skilled in using both.

 

[Gilroygal69]

For me, libido has varied greatly throughout the different stages of my life. You would think that when I was young and svelte and could attract men like flies, it would have been my most fulfilling sexual phase. But it wasn't. I lacked the maturity, the confidence and the freedom to fully explore sexuality in all its glory. Also, having been raised with certain attitudes, I think I tended to squelch my desires. I might have been "horny" a lot, but I rarely acted on it. I rarely felt that I could without being judged.

When I got married I was still inhibited, but the patience and determination shown by my spouse slowly brought me out of my shell. I began to enjoy exploring new things and because of my confidence in his love and commitment to me, I shed many of my inhibitions. I began to not worry so much about my body and sounding stupid in bed, and all the other things women worry about, and just enjoy.

Then we had children. My body changed. And I was TIRED. I was tired from nursing babies and I was touched out by the end of the day. I wanted NOT to have somebody hanging on my body and taking posession of it, relying on it for their own needs or pleasure. Sex became just another chore to cross of my list at the end of the day. I HATED that. I hated feeling like it was just a job. And I often chose not to have it, rather than subject myself to that feeling. That was probably one of the most challenging times in our marriage. He wasn't understanding how I felt, and I wasn't understanding how he felt. There was a lot of anger and resentment on both sides. Introducing children into a relationship can really, really, really throw things for a loop. I don't think I was horny for ten years.

Then....my children grew up, I gained some maturity and perspective and so did my husband. and we began a new phase in our marriage where we could once again spend some time focusing on each other. The horny came back. And for the first time in a very long time, I found myself thinking about sex a lot. I was really happy to WANT sex again. Before, I had wanted to want sex, but didn't. And couldn't make myself.

As a mature woman, I am more confident in myself, and less inhibted than ever before. So I have some stretch marks and my breasts aren't as firm as they once were. I know that I am beautiful and sexy and I don't spend all my time worrying about how I look naked or how dumb I sound screaming "FUCK ME!!". I began to really relaxe and enjoy our sex life and accept certain...proclivities without shame. Together we began exploring new things and the more I explored, the more I wanted to explore.

Now...after sixteen years of marriage...I am finally to a point where I am not embarassed or ashamed of anything I might desire. I don't hesitate to ask when I want to try something new, no matter how "kinky" or "deviant". I know, that even if he doesn't share a desire for that thing, that doesn't affect his love or commitment to me. NOW.....I'm horny all the time.

I don't know if that refutes or confirms your position. Maybe it just adds another dimension to the discussion.

Edited to Add: Sometimes, it's fun to pretend that he's forcing me to service him when I am not otherwise inclined, but it's just play. I do consider myself submissive in our sexual dymanic, but in reality, he would never "force" me to have sex when I didn't want to. That would ruin my trust in him and probably effect my willingness to submit in other ways. As far as being a "slut" is concerned...it's a very freeing thing in some ways. Feeling slutty and being treated like a slut makes me feel incredibly uninhibited. I delight in him calling me his slut or his whore, but I wouldn't tolerate it from some random schlub on the street.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

I am always up for sex. Even now. I feel crap and it seems I got a fever, but I would still fuck.

Never felt so shit to say no to sex. I might be sad or depressed or sick or whatever, but I would never say no to sex if offered. Guess I am just like that. I like it no matter how I feel. In any hour, any day, you can be sure I want it. I am just like that, not sure if its good or bad. Lets say I am just way too easy to get excited. Touch me or say something domly and thats it. I am usualy wet long time before you even say it. lol

I've never deny sex to my man, eventho I've been denyed like million times (by my ex). Its just not in my nature to say no when you want me. I might not really need it myself at the moment, but would still happily go for it. Just BECAUSE!
I like it, it feels good, I feel good then, so why oh why not???

I don't mind being called slut. I don't see it as rude or anything, I like it actualy and find it kind of flatering. For me anyways. I also don't see a slut as someone who sleep with lots of men. Not at all! For me its all about the attitude. About someones nature and the way someone is.

I think I am slut yes. And I fuckin enjoy it!

 

[BiBunny]

My thoughts only here. YMMV, of course.

I've been a weird freak of nature as far as sex goes my whole life. It's always on my mind in one way or another. Something else may take priority at any given time, but sex is always lurking in my brain somewhere.

You know how they say men think about sex every seven seconds, on average? Yeah. I'd say the only time I have seven-second delays between my thoughts of sex are when I'm asleep.

I'm always up for it, even when I'm dying of the flu, like I was week before last. Now, my body produces a lot more testosterone than most women's, so I wouldn't doubt that that's at least part of the reason for this.

But most of my sexual experiences have been disappointing. So disappointing that I have gone on months-long celibacy jags because sex that bad was just...depressing.

It's not a vanilla vs. kinky thing, either. Kinky people tend to be just as boring in bed as vanilla people, unfortunately.

With my current partners, it's not that way. They've made me pass out from cumming before. But with everyone else? Yeah, it was about as exciting as going to the toilet, to borrow a line from Sylvia Plath.

When dudes call me complaining about how their wife never gives them any, my first thought is not, "Oh, you poor man." It's more along the lines of "That's probably because you're a selfish, boring lay." My experience has borne it out time and time again. Most people, male, female, vanilla, kinky, hetero, gay, bi, whatever, are self-centered and lame as fuck in bed.

And I think that's what puts a lot of women off sex. You get so worked up, you want it so badly, you're so excited and looking forward to it, and then...nothing. You start asking yourself, "Is this really all there is?" Since most people are boring in bed, then the answer is usually yes.

So you just turn off that switch altogether and try to stop thinking about it because being disappointed every. single. time. by shitastic sex gets old in a hurry. I know. I've been there. Until I met Master, I thought there was no such thing as mind-blowing sex with a man. Which is why I don't mind loaning him out to others.

But, yeah, I just think that for a lot of women, a lifetime of disappointment has made them kinda "meh" toward sex. It becomes a chore, something you do when you have to and try to avoid the rest of the time. It's too bad, too, because fantastic sex is one of the most awesome things in the whole world.

 

[Keroin]

I think most men are basically potato brains. No offense intended, I just mean that their brains are made out of potatoes. Mashed potatoes.

Mmmmmm, mashed potatoes with gravy.

(I spent too long reading the brat thread. I am also typing around a cat leg right now as I don't want to disturb the little furball on my lap even though her leg is sprawled across my keyboard.)

 

[YourCaptor]

It's true, you got to scam and trick those frigit bitches into spreading. After all, they are the enemy.

 

[ImOnIt]

Jacket stuffed potatoes - best food? or bestest food?

Thanks keroin, i know whats for dinner now!

 

[Aquila1]

Perhaps your definition of slut is fundamentally flawed? If you are saying you "don't mean that [a slut] sleeps with a lot of guys" then surely you are removing the concept of promiscuity from the word, which is, according to the dictionary, is at the core of its etymology.

Horny is something completely different. I’d say that horny is pretty variable, and influenced by a huge range of internal and external factors. People are wired according their background, life experiences, and their own biochemistry at any given time – and all of those can change over time as well.

Personally, I don’t mind the word slut all that much, but I suspect that has much to do with the fact that I have long since ascribed my own meaning to the word. For me, ‘slut’ translates as libidinous, lascivious, lusty, carnal, expressive, and a whole swag of other meanings. And I’m not all of those 24/7. I have demands on my time, my mind, my body, my health, and my finances by a whole range of external factors, and some of those can and do preclude me from feeling horny all the time. Sometimes I even use sex for reasons other than horniness – I’m prone to bouts of insomnia and cumming helps me sleep. And I reciprocate with that as well, even when I’m not 100% into it – I’m a nice person

 

[shewantsmore]

Im not worried about the name after all its only a word,but i do enjoy sex and thats the main thing

 

[StrayKat]

I think most men are basically potato brains. No offense intended, I just mean that their brains are made out of potatoes. Mashed potatoes.

Most women are too. I feel sorry for men sometimes.

 

[rida]

If being a slut is to like to get fucked, than I'm totally subscribing to the definition. I LOVE to have a cock deep inside! If being a slut is being always horny, then I'm far from it.

I don't think I've ever turned down sex thou, because I know that once I get going, I usually end up enjoying myself (with or without orgasm, that is not the point of sex for me).

I was lucky that my first experiences with my college bf were good: we both started out virgins and learned together. All in all it was pretty standard vanilla sex for my kinky present days' self, but it was definitely good sex.

At Gilroygal69:
I totally can relate with becoming a mother and the effect on my energy and sexual desires and it turning into a chore.
For me, the biggest effect was in finding a way to make my slut nature coexist with my mother nature. Somehow I had in my mind that being a "grown-up" meant leaving the "fun & silly" behind

 

[Plasmaball]

i know sluts. and there is a difference between a horny woman and a slut.
Dont mistake a slut for a woman who is just experienced.

 

[PertPerth]

just because a woman will not say no to sex, does not mean that she is particularly horny or amped up about it. i am rarely horny, and i have never said no to sex. another semantic quibble, being a "slut" has nothing to do with sexual desire.

...and the times that I have said no, has usually ended in a HUGE fight, thus leading to me not saying no the next time.


When I'm horny, I'm horny; when I'm not, I'm really, REALLY not - and nothing and no one will get me there. Admittedly I have hormonal problems, so I can be horny every day for a month, then "not" for a month (or two...or three as it has been lately ). Or it can vary from week to week. It doesn't have anything to do with the guy I'm with or what he does (or doesn't) do.

 

[graceanne]

is it really a common belief that most women only have sex when they're super eager, juices flowing, rip roaring and ready to go??

Yeah, right.

I never say no, but K really wants me to be enjoying it. But there have times when I'm tired, or whatever, and he's really horny, where we've had sex anyway. Oh, well.

The first time we did that, I was preggers (and sick) and he was so surprised that I was willing to put out when I wasn't interested at all. Now he'll try to get me interested, but if that doesn't work and he's really horny, he just laughs and we have sex anyway.

Perhaps your definition of slut is fundamentally flawed?

That's what I think is going on. I've only ever had sex with my husband. I do not, in any way shape or form, consider myself a slut. Honestly, I don't qualify as a slut in any way shape or form either.

 

[Keroin]

Most women are too. I feel sorry for men sometimes.

Um, just BTW, that was a BIG joke.

I'm not of the opinion that men are potato brains. Well there was that one guy...

 

[Etoile]

Just poking my head in to give osg a hug, because I miss her.

 

[Netzach]

I do want to have sex about 90 percent of the time, but I consider myself a horny chronic masturbator, not a slut. I'm very picky.

 

[SimonBrooke]

By slut I don't mean that they sleep with a lot of guys. I just mean they are horny pretty much all of the time. The trick is you have to play nice until they drop their guard. A simple lesson the ASSHATs never seem to learn.

I have found this to be true my entire life. I've never seen a woman say no to anything sexual. But I have to add I've never been married either. I'm sure seeing the same asshole day after day and dealing with money and kids and life in general changes when you get married.

Flame away.

OK, here comes the flame-thower.

If a guy is horny and ready to go all the time, is he a 'slut'? If he's prepared to fuck every pretty girl who asks him, is he a 'slut'? If he never says no to anything sexual, is he a 'slut'? You know bloody well you're using a double standard. But more than that, you're using a double standard which actively damages people, and changes the world in a way that it directly contrary to your interests.

I want the women I'm interested in to be sexual. I want them to show me they're sexual. I want them to be open and generous with their sexuality. Don't you? If they're made to feel that if they are open and generous with their sexuality they're going to be demeaned, put down, despised, they're going to be less open, less generous. That doesn't suit me and it doesn't suit you.

So you're not just ill mannered in this. You're also stupid.

Words can be recovered. The meanings of words can be changed over time. It's possible that if people really wanted to, 'slut' could be rehabilitated and made into a positive word. But just now it isn't. I want women who feel sexy to be able to say so, to be able to show it in public, to be proud of it, to see it as a positive attribute. So, unless you're a complete idiot, do you. So next time a woman behaves in a way that shows you she's available, don't call her a slut, not even in private to yourself. Call her sexy. Call her sensual. Make her proud of it. If more men do that to more women more often, we'll all of us get more and better sex.

The Taleban - what would the Taleban do? If a woman doesn't wear a full body-and-face veil down the street, they call her a slut. Do you want to live in a world in which the girls in the street are wearing veils? Do you? Seriously? You blithering idiot, that's the world you're building. Now, you demean a woman who is generous to you; in doing so you make all women more reserved. When all women are reserved and repressed, next you'll turn on those who dress prettily to demean. So they'll dress less prettily. And when there aren't any clothes to despise any more, you'll turn on faces. And you'll have turned your world - our world - into a drab grey place. Is that what you want? Really?

Stop being an idiot. Consider the consequences of your actions. Learn.

 

[SimonBrooke]

You would think that when I was young and svelte and could attract men like flies, it would have been my most fulfilling sexual phase. But it wasn't. I lacked the maturity, the confidence and the freedom to fully explore sexuality in all its glory. Also, having been raised with certain attitudes, I think I tended to squelch my desires. I might have been "horny" a lot, but I rarely acted on it. I rarely felt that I could without being judged.

Thank you. You express what I was trying to say far better than I could.

WriterDom, you did this. You and men like you, the proto-Taleban of the western world. Here was an attractive, fresh, ripe young woman, whom you and men like you could have had pleasure with. But you didn't get to, because she 'squelched her desires', because you and idiots like you had made her believe that if she didn't, she'd be 'judged'.

Is that the world you want to live in? Is it? Really? You cretin.

 

[Aquila1]

Thank you. You express what I was trying to say far better than I could.

WriterDom, you did this. You and men like you, the proto-Taleban of the western world. Here was an attractive, fresh, ripe young woman, whom you and men like you could have had pleasure with. But you didn't get to, because she 'squelched her desires', because you and idiots like you had made her believe that if she didn't, she'd be 'judged'.

Is that the world you want to live in? Is it? Really? You cretin.

Have to add my 2 cents worth here: My experience is that other women are more frequently the ones that hurl around the slut epithet than men. Ever spent any time around teenage girls? They are vicious, and spill the word slut like running water.

Of course, one could argue that any woman who called another a slut is simply responding from her cultural and societal conditioning. Somehow I don't think it's all that simple though. There's a deeper issue here that I am finding hard to put words to. I'll think on it a while and come back. *wanders off to make a cup of tea*

 

[YourCaptor]

Now...after sixteen years of marriage...I am finally to a point where I am not embarassed or ashamed of anything I might desire. I don't hesitate to ask when I want to try something new, no matter how "kinky" or "deviant". I know, that even if he doesn't share a desire for that thing, that doesn't affect his love or commitment to me. NOW.....I'm horny all the time.

Men are at the peak of sexual desires in their 20's, women in their 40's.

That's why when these two meet in bed all hell breaks loose.

 

[StrayKat]

Um, just BTW, that was a BIG joke.

I'm not of the opinion that men are potato brains. Well there was that one guy...

Mine was too.... I forgot the smiley