Your Future Ruined by Literotica?

[glynndah]

Most people suspect my secrets are a whole lot worse than anything I've done here. They'd be so disappointed.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I'm more worried about my boss finding out about my foruming habits (posting from work, mostly ) than I am about him finding out I write sex stories. I may have even mentioned to him that I have written sex stories.

 

[AvoidingRealWork]

I think my vicar might change to a funny colour if he discovered my erotica writing but I don't think I'd be kicked out of the church, in fact I'm pretty certain I wouldn't be.

There's a reason we belong to the good ol' C of E. Our rector would be proud to have parishioners of such talent and diverse areas of interests.

I don't worry too much anymore what this site will do to my career. In my line of work you're almost expected to be eccentric or kinky somehow. Of course, the way I come across in real life, no one would ever expect anything of the sort out of me.

Would the unthinkable happen and I find myself needing to search for a new mate, I'd rather they know straight away that I like to run around starkers and write dirty stories. Don't want any surprises later on.

 

[_Lynn_]

I'm not worried at all about what I write here, or any other place. I don't keep it a secret what I do. There were far too many secrets in my past. My kids and ex have read my stuff. This is who I am and what I do. *shrug*

 

[Katyusha]

I don't really worry about it. Most of my friends and family know and my husband insists on reading the stories before I post them, so the only reaction I need to worry about from him is that it wasn't good enough to turn him on very much. As far as work goes, I'm pretty straightforward about myself there. Some know and some don't, but I don't make a big secret of it. If I got outed and suddenly everyone knew, I doubt anything would really happen.

 

[Verdad]

Nah. Some of my friends knows. And my family is not too uptight.

I'm a freelance journalist and copy writer. I might lose a customer or two. But my main bread-and-butter client also hires photographers who openly own, produce and run a porn site, and one whose other gig is to shoot "page 3" type girls for men's zines. So I think I'm pretty safe there.

I'd rahter it stays a secret though, since it's not their business. I choose what parts of my life which people get to be part of. I don't discuss my penis with co-workers and random strangers, just because I have one.

This is the key thing, in my opinion. There are plenty of people whom I could tell, in abstract, that I'm writing some smut or posting on a porn board, and no one would do more than maybe giggle.

I still wouldn't want them to actually read the words, though, just like I wouldn't invite them to coffee and show them the photos of myself sucking cock. ("Hubby's about to jizz on my tits on this one; doesn't he look cute when he does that?")

I don't get the outrage over someone writing smut, but I get perfectly well why most people would keep the identities apart. There's nothing hypocritical about that. It's a matter of privacy.

 

[sr71plt]

I had some aspirations of writing professionally but those got shot in the head and left in a ditch earlier this year.

I don't see why this has to be so unless you want to wallow in it. You're a good writer and there are lots and lots of opportunities. What is it you want to write? If erotica novels/novellas, start with submitting to eXcessica and branch out from there. There's some money to be had.

 

[sadangel]

I don't see why this has to be so unless you want to wallow in it. You're a good writer and there are lots and lots of opportunities. What is it you want to write? If erotica novels/novellas, start with submitting to eXcessica and branch out from there. There's some money to be had.

Sometimes, it just takes time to get over the crushing of some things that happen. Unless you know the whole story, it sounds like Rob is "wallowing" but that isn't the case.

He IS a very good writer. It may just take some time for him to gather it up and to write for profit. I hope that soon he will write for fun, to get his "foot" back in the water.

I too hope he will write again for more than just fun, but I will not push it. I will encourage him when I can. Hopefully, when he sees that others feel as I do that he is in fact a very good writer, it will give him what he needs to think about writing again.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

I find it quite amazing that anyone would look down upon anyone who is a regular writer and poster on Lit. Addmittedly there are some people who post the most god-awful sex fantasies here, but they are not the regulars. From the few thousand stories I've read here written by the AH members, very few have ever been anything that could not be published in a mainstream periodical were they to be accepted.

However, no one can understand the minds of the far right, God Squad. Those people are perverse (oddly the same word my shrink used to discribe me )

 

[rgraham666]

I don't see why this has to be so unless you want to wallow in it. You're a good writer and there are lots and lots of opportunities. What is it you want to write? If erotica novels/novellas, start with submitting to eXcessica and branch out from there. There's some money to be had.

Well, I found out that writing isn't any different than any other business. Power and politics is as important in some circles as the work a person does.

I don't have the strength or will to play those silly games.

Sometimes, it just takes time to get over the crushing of some things that happen. Unless you know the whole story, it sounds like Rob is "wallowing" but that isn't the case.

He IS a very good writer. It may just take some time for him to gather it up and to write for profit. I hope that soon he will write for fun, to get his "foot" back in the water.

I too hope he will write again for more than just fun, but I will not push it. I will encourage him when I can. Hopefully, when he sees that others feel as I do that he is in fact a very good writer, it will give him what he needs to think about writing again.

Thank you, angel. Love you.

 

[sadangel]

Well, I found out that writing isn't any different than any other business. Power and politics is as important in some circles as the work a person does.

I don't have the strength or will to play those silly games.



Thank you, angel. Love you.

Love you too!

 

[driphoney]

This is the key thing, in my opinion. There are plenty of people whom I could tell, in abstract, that I'm writing some smut or posting on a porn board, and no one would do more than maybe giggle.

I still wouldn't want them to actually read the words, though, just like I wouldn't invite them to coffee and show them the photos of myself sucking cock. ("Hubby's about to jizz on my tits on this one; doesn't he look cute when he does that?")

I don't get the outrage over someone writing smut, but I get perfectly well why most people would keep the identities apart. There's nothing hypocritical about that. It's a matter of privacy.

Rolling on the floor gaffawing is more like it with my family!

I let a new friend (and no, I don't do this regularly) read The Fuckin' Chair. When she saw me next she clasped her cheeks and with buggy eyes goes, "Those you least expect!"

My mama wonders why I have to put all that smut in it, just write clean stuff. I give her edited rated PG/R versions of my chapters (not The Chair!)

To one degree or another, I've gently let it slip that I have this naughty bad habit developing, but there are a few it might hurt and others who would definitely judge, and some would just be disappointed that I'm not exactly who they think I am. That would make me feel bad. I live in the Bible Belt and have some conservative, Christian friends, and I've been pretty honest with them. Oddly enough, they've been very tolerant. Maybe it's how I present it. Maybe I just pick good friends, Christian or not!

 

[slyc_willie]

I couldn't be any more "outed" than if I took out an ad on a bulletin board. All my friends know what I write, and at least two levels of management above me have purchased or otherwise read my published books.

The only problems I may foresee would concern the reactions of some parents of kids at the daycare which our daughter attends. This is, after all, a very conservative, Christian area (which means a lot of heads in the sand and Moral Majority prejudices).

 

[michchick98]

To one degree or another, I've gently let it slip that I have this naughty bad habit developing, but there are a few it might hurt and others who would definitely judge, and some would just be disappointed that I'm not exactly who they think I am. That would make me feel bad. I live in the Bible Belt and have some conservative, Christian friends, and I've been pretty honest with them. Oddly enough, they've been very tolerant. Maybe it's how I present it. Maybe I just pick good friends, Christian or not!

At first, I was reluctant to tell people what I did for a hobby, but now, pretty much most of my friends are aware of it. They don't particularly like what I write (in so far as genre) but they support me, especially since I've become published beyond Literotica.

My step-sister, who's devoutly Christian, even supports me, which was surprising because I figured she'd be one of the ones who'd look down her nose at me.

The only person who doesn't know what I write is my mom and I intend to keep it that way as long as possible, she wouldn't understand and would probably lecture me incessantly about it.

I'm a mere peon at my place of employment so I don't think my writing would be an issue there either.

 

[bronzeage]

I find it quite amazing that anyone would look down upon anyone who is a regular writer and poster on Lit. Addmittedly there are some people who post the most god-awful sex fantasies here, but they are not the regulars. From the few thousand stories I've read here written by the AH members, very few have ever been anything that could not be published in a mainstream periodical were they to be accepted.

However, no one can understand the minds of the far right, God Squad. Those people are perverse (oddly the same word my shrink used to discribe me )

An author can write a novel about serial killers or bank robbers, and very few will assume he/she is either a serial killer/bank robber, or wants to be.

For some reason, erotica is assumed to be either based on experience or fevered desire.

I read Anne Rice's Beauty Trilogy when the books were published under a pen name. She did not want her father to know she had written such stuff. After her father died, the Claiming of Sleeping Beauty was printed under her regular name.

She said the books were written as special present to her husband. That is an inspiration with which I am familiar. It was also a very interesting look into the Rice household.

 

[MagicaPractica]

I might have been worried in my old job, but certainly not in my current one. I don't see myself going backward. I tell people I've written a bit of everything, and my friends know (and many have read) stories from here. My boyfriend too. No, I can't imagine a future that I would want that would make writing stuff here dangerous to my reputation. At the same time, I don't spread it around. I don't post my full face picture here or link this writing with my regular for profit attempts. *shrug* Of course, I can imagine ways it could be a problem, but I just don't care that much. Hell, I introduced my mother to the concept of erotica when I was about twenty.

 

[lance gt]

I don't think writing erotica has hurt me at all. quite the opposite. when I've told family and friends I write stories about sex, they want the website and want to check them out. Seems I've created a rise in readership here. I think they appreciate what I write, because they know me personally and I'm far different than anyone in my stories. Fiction is just that. I'm real and live in a real world. There are moments though, when I do delve into the darker, seamier side of life and see what it's really like. SShhh, don't tell anyone, okay?

 

[KarennaC]

My parents know what I write. I think my mother is secretly horrified by it- she is, after all, the one who taught me as a child that anything sexual, including sexual body parts, is dirty and horrible- but she acts like she's proud as punch, especially now that I've got some royalty-paying e-book publications under my belt. Of course, I only told her about them for the shock value

I belong to an "adult dating" site; though I haven't done a lot of "adult dating", I have made some pretty good friends in my local area's chat room there. I also met the love of my life there; he and I moved in together a few months ago. Given the nature of the site, all my friends there know what I write and a few have bought my books. Some are even tolerant enough to answer my "research" questions, and my lover cheerfully refers to himself, even in front of his family (who also know what I write) as my "research assistant". Even my kids know what I write, though since they're underage (one teen, one almost-teen) their knowledge is confined to "Mom writes love stories that you can't read till you're 18."

Some members of my ex-husband's family know as well, and think it's pretty cool. None of us have told my ex, though. He's the only potential source of problems from my writing stuff here and writing erotic romance novellas and novels. This is a man who threatened to try to take our kids away from me because I'm vegetarian "and that isn't healthy" (even though the kids are not vegetarian), so I can only imagine the threats he'd make if he knew what I write. Not that he'd get too far, but I'd rather not deal with the hassle.

I have no political aspirations, so I'm not worried about that. As for employment, I suppose it could be a problem if I go back to substitute teaching after the surgery I'm having, but otherwise I don't think it matters too much. My last job, which I had to leave for health reasons, didn't seem to care what I did in my spare time, and I'm currently doing as-able data entry for my lover's father, who already knows. Since my ambition is to eventually earn enough in royalties from the erotic romance and from the young-adult fantasy novels I write under a different name that I'll be able to quit having a day job altogether, it's all good.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

My parents know what I write. I think my mother is secretly horrified by it- she is, after all, the one who taught me as a child that anything sexual, including sexual body parts, is dirty and horrible- but she acts like she's proud as punch, especially now that I've got some royalty-paying e-book publications under my belt. Of course, I only told her about them for the shock value

I belong to an "adult dating" site; though I haven't done a lot of "adult dating", I have made some pretty good friends in my local area's chat room there. I also met the love of my life there; he and I moved in together a few months ago. Given the nature of the site, all my friends there know what I write and a few have bought my books. Some are even tolerant enough to answer my "research" questions, and my lover cheerfully refers to himself, even in front of his family (who also know what I write) as my "research assistant". Even my kids know what I write, though since they're underage (one teen, one almost-teen) their knowledge is confined to "Mom writes love stories that you can't read till you're 18."

Some members of my ex-husband's family know as well, and think it's pretty cool. None of us have told my ex, though. He's the only potential source of problems from my writing stuff here and writing erotic romance novellas and novels. This is a man who threatened to try to take our kids away from me because I'm vegetarian "and that isn't healthy" (even though the kids are not vegetarian), so I can only imagine the threats he'd make if he knew what I write. Not that he'd get too far, but I'd rather not deal with the hassle.

I have no political aspirations, so I'm not worried about that. As for employment, I suppose it could be a problem if I go back to substitute teaching after the surgery I'm having, but otherwise I don't think it matters too much. My last job, which I had to leave for health reasons, didn't seem to care what I did in my spare time, and I'm currently doing as-able data entry for my lover's father, who already knows. Since my ambition is to eventually earn enough in royalties from the erotic romance and from the young-adult fantasy novels I write under a different name that I'll be able to quit having a day job altogether, it's all good.

Count on problems with the 'ex.' Anything is grist for the mill.

 

[vrosej10]

My parents know what I write. I think my mother is secretly horrified by it- she is, after all, the one who taught me as a child that anything sexual, including sexual body parts, is dirty and horrible- but she acts like she's proud as punch, especially now that I've got some royalty-paying e-book publications under my belt. Of course, I only told her about them for the shock value

I belong to an "adult dating" site; though I haven't done a lot of "adult dating", I have made some pretty good friends in my local area's chat room there. I also met the love of my life there; he and I moved in together a few months ago. Given the nature of the site, all my friends there know what I write and a few have bought my books. Some are even tolerant enough to answer my "research" questions, and my lover cheerfully refers to himself, even in front of his family (who also know what I write) as my "research assistant". Even my kids know what I write, though since they're underage (one teen, one almost-teen) their knowledge is confined to "Mom writes love stories that you can't read till you're 18."

Some members of my ex-husband's family know as well, and think it's pretty cool. None of us have told my ex, though. He's the only potential source of problems from my writing stuff here and writing erotic romance novellas and novels. This is a man who threatened to try to take our kids away from me because I'm vegetarian "and that isn't healthy" (even though the kids are not vegetarian), so I can only imagine the threats he'd make if he knew what I write. Not that he'd get too far, but I'd rather not deal with the hassle.

I have no political aspirations, so I'm not worried about that. As for employment, I suppose it could be a problem if I go back to substitute teaching after the surgery I'm having, but otherwise I don't think it matters too much. My last job, which I had to leave for health reasons, didn't seem to care what I did in my spare time, and I'm currently doing as-able data entry for my lover's father, who already knows. Since my ambition is to eventually earn enough in royalties from the erotic romance and from the young-adult fantasy novels I write under a different name that I'll be able to quit having a day job altogether, it's all good.

Good luck to you. I hope your ex isn't a jerk, but it seems like he has a history of it. I hear familiar stories from my pagan friend about difficult exes.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Any time there are custody, visitation, or support entanglements you gotta figure that someone will drag your character thru the mire if there is a problem.

 

[sophia jane]

I've never worried before about being outed. I tell the important people in my life about it, so it's never seemed to be a big deal.
But now I'm in grad school and preparing for a career in non profit work, which will, I hope, eventually put me in a higher up spot in a non profit, and yeah, my lit life could totally bite me in the ass. I guess I've felt relatively "safe" about being here but that article has me wondering.

 

[sr71plt]

I think a good study would be on the phenomenum of AHers making efforts to explain/justify the erotica writing aspects of their own lives on a thread like this within the context of the Bridget outing.

 

[CharleyH]

Thinking on Brideget and how her career was ruined by the stories she posted on Lit made me start to wonder...was there any future I might try for, or end up in, that my stories here could ruin? Could any of us end up in her situation? An alarming thought. I believe we ought to gaze into the crystal ball of possibilities and see how likely it could be--and, thus, be prepared.

Write up a few paragraphs detailing a scenario where your future self is destroyed by the discovery that you posted free erotica on the internet for anyone and everyone to read.

Don't think of this as a mere writing exercise, but as a way of helping you to decide what actions you might want to take now, in the present, before it's too late. Like, writing yourself a reminder so that you don't forget that you've got erotic stories posted on this site. Like making sure you don't go out drinking with a future jealous rival and spill the beans about writing erotica. You might even want to consider "silencing" any fellow Lit writers that you met in person when you visited Chicago, so that there is no chance that they will ever reveal your dirty little secret (nothing personal, of course).

So what do you see in your future?

Yeah, read that story, but I'm not sure I feel sorry for her. I think it is disgusting that she was outed by someone she trusted, I abhor that, but she should never apologize for her love of sex. She should have spun the situation to her advantage. She could have spun it with one question to an interviewer, "Do you have a problem with sex?"

"No."

"Then let's move on to more important issues."

 

[miwoodsman]

Where I work I don't believe it would be a problem if it were known I write erotica, and since I have no political aspirations, I'm safe there, too.

My concern is I do a lot of volunteering at my kids' schools and coach their sports teams and such, and by doing so have gotten to know my kids' classmates and their parents quite well. If my hobby were discovered it could certainly jeopardize that part of my life. Bronzeage's comment was spot on in that for erotica some people can't differentiate the author from the fiction they write.

So, I'm keeping it a secret for now from everyone except my wife.