Dom verses Master

[loneranger8921]

I feel to be a master you have to be a Dom but does a Dom have to be a Master? Or is this just word play and everyone has degrees of each right.
At least that is how i feel. First you have to have a Submissive or slave to be a Master but you can be a Dom with out a Submissive right? Ok i would like some other opinions on this thank you? My new toy and I were discussing this and i want more input.

 

[00Syd]

Uh Oh

 

[MisterSir]

I feel to be a master you have to be a Dom but does a Dom have to be a Master? Or is this just word play and everyone has degrees of each right.

At least that is how i feel. First you have to have a Submissive or slave to be a Master but you can be a Dom with out a Submissive right? Ok i would like some other opinions on this thank you? My new toy and I were discussing this and i want more input.

1) It's not a flat spectrum. Being a Master is different from being a dominant, both are different from being a top, all three are different from being a sadist and people who describe themselves with one term or another can have elements from all of them, which is exactly why the term PYL was coined. The concept of "Master" has a hundred different meanings to a hundred different people, but everybody understands what a PYL is and so there's less confusion.

2) There is no average PYL and there is no real, true way to be a PYL. Claiming that there is around here is akin to grabbing a shovel and trying to dig your way out of a pit filled with quicksand.

3) In the same way a police officer is a cop even if he doesn't have a gun or cuffs with him, not having a Master/dominant/submissive/slave/whatever doesn't then not make you whatever label you identify with.

 

[Cattypuss]

OK given the above two responses I almost hesitate to say this but surely it's true to say that "master" is a certain role assumed by a dominant, so that all masters are indeed doms, but not all doms are masters?

 

[nh23]

OK given the above two responses I almost hesitate to say this but surely it's true to say that "master" is a certain role assumed by a dominant, so that all masters are indeed doms, but not all doms are masters?

Yep

In my experience Masters are just less willing to give up as much control. They do not allow safewords or limits. Where a Dominant will allow his sub those things.

That's not always the case though, but it's mostly what you'll find in M/s relationships here on Lit.

 

[00Syd]

OK given the above two responses I almost hesitate to say this but surely it's true to say that "master" is a certain role assumed by a dominant, so that all masters are indeed doms, but not all doms are masters?

IMO, because all of the terms mean different things to different people, its impossible to make any type of blanket statement and have to take it case by case.

For example, I know somebody who refers to himself as Master because he thinks he has Mastered his chosen crafts, not because he is a Master of others, and he readily recognizes that he is not much of a Dominant in the D/s sense but more of a Top in the S/m sense.

 

[serijules]

They are just titles, and have no particular blanket set of rules or meanings. Titles are very individual things, although there are plenty that try to insist on defining them webster-style.

For me, the difference between a master and a dominant (with the words being uses as titles) is simply a matter of the amount of control. Master or mistress in my relations refers to ownership. Dominant refers to a top role with a much broader spectrum. That's how I define them. Others' definitions vary and that's just fine.

The idea that a master or dominant or daddy or whatever "has" to be something else first to work their way up some kind of label ladder doesn't make sense to me.

 

[Sayyid]

Obviously definitions will vary widely, but I always saw it this way:

Top: Whoever's taking the active role in a scene. Not necessarily the dominant one.
Dom(me): The person who has control over the sub, who may be a top or bottom.
Master: More than a dom, a master has complete control (total power exchange) over a submissive/slave, usually embodied in a 24/7 relationship.

They are three different degrees of control, and three different philosophies.

 

[rosco rathbone]

There's no reason, speaking theoretically, why BDSM shouldn't elect a body of men (and women) to settle this kind of question.

No different than the MLA. If you want to use non-standard usage, go ahead, but there's a rulebook worked out by people widely recognized for their expertise that sets the standard.

 

[Sayyid]

I don't see why people can't define themselves. If people call themselves doms, they are. This is the basis of descriptive linguistics.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I don't see why people can't define themselves. If people call themselves doms, they are. This is the basis of descriptive linguistics.

Get on the GB for fuck's sake.

 

[MisterSir]

Get on the GB for fuck's sake.

So he can be the latest to bang his head against that brick wall? Why would you do that to him?

 

[Sayyid]

I want to, because I love railing against general idiocy, but some of the people I've seen in there are almost beyond redemption. Like "Obama is a space alien from Hawaii" type of stupid.

 

[MisterSir]

I want to, because I love railing against general idiocy, but some of the people I've seen in there are almost beyond redemption. Like "Obama is a space alien from Hawaii" type of stupid.

Hold on to that thought. If you don't, one of these days you'll wander in and then you'll be lost.

 

[rosco rathbone]

So he can be the latest to bang his head against that brick wall? Why would you do that to him?

He is needed.

I like him.

 

[Sayyid]

Aw, I like you guys too.

Back on topic, what do y'all think of my tripartite classification of the terms "top," "dom" and "master"?

 

[rosco rathbone]

Aw, I like you guys too.

Back on topic, what do y'all think of my tripartite classification of the terms "top," "dom" and "master"?

Seems fine to me. What do you think of my proposal that BDSM elect a governing counsel?

 

[Sayyid]

No gods no masters dude. Let the people govern.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Governing council is the wrong phrase. I meant a conclave of experts, elected by popular vote, who would standardize usage.

These type of debates have riven the bdsm community.

Each board, each munch could elect a representative.

 

[Sayyid]

Sounds fine in theory, but unworkable in practice.

I don't think the community really needs anything other than informal organizations to govern itself.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Sounds fine in theory, but unworkable in practice.

I don't think the community really needs anything other than informal organizations to govern itself.

I have hidden authoritarian tendencies that keep trying to assert themselves.

 

[WriterDom]

Why does it matter outside the primary relationship? Is it not just posturing on a fucking message board? Call yourself King Neptune if you want. I don't give a shit.

 

[Sayyid]

I have hidden authoritarian tendencies that keep trying to assert themselves.

We express them through BDSM.

I find it's a good outlet for my anger and sexual frustration (I have a rather high sex drive, even for a young male in his 20s, so I need to get off a lot, and that involves fantasies of domination and violent sex).

Why does it matter outside the primary relationship? Is it not just posturing on a fucking message board? Call yourself King Neptune if you want. I don't give a shit.

I don't mind what people call themselves either, but that doesn't mean we can't discuss our preferences.

 

[RJMasters]

I have hidden authoritarian tendencies that keep trying to assert themselves.

Best tagline of lit 2009.

 

[Sayyid]

I don't see what's authoritarian about physically, mentally and spiritually dominating another person. I mean, they consent to it, right guys?