Similes and Metaphors

[penandpaper]

Just curious. A while ago there was a discussion related to theme in writing. How many of you try to use a thematic version of similes and metaphors, especially during a sex scene for a specific character?

For example, Delilah is having an affair with the local minister, and therefore you try to equating all her feelings using biblical similes. I understand that one can go overboard, I'm just curious as to who thinks along these lines.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

John Steinbeck did in EAST OF EDEN.

 

[Trudy_Antone]

I'm having a flashback to Sex and the City when Charlotte and her husband Trey attended a marriage counsellor and were advised to equate everything to nautical terms. 'Put your schooner in my harbour' etc etc

It depends on the context of the characters and the story. I've been writing wannabe Mills and Boons for years, therefore using everything but the words 'cock' or 'pussy'. It's funny how the first stories I published here were stroke stories - I finally had the freedom to use those words and had a hard time going back.

I think it's a challenge to try and write around those words, to think of better ways to describe sex other than insert A in to B. Good writing can achieve anything.

 

[Weird Harold]

Just curious. A while ago there was a discussion related to theme in writing. How many of you try to use a thematic version of similes and metaphors, especially during a sex scene for a specific character?

An early mentor told me to pick a theme for each scene/character andstick to it. The example he used was "don't start out describing fiery passion with heated imagery and then dump watery metaphors into the scene. You don't wind up with steamy romance, you wind up with soggy ashes."

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

W/H

Then dont do anything interesting with the scene. Nobody dies, nobody steps on their dick with the wrong person, nobody catches their wife in bed with the best friend.

Stephen King changed the tone 3 times in one scene. A dude is fucking a guys wife, the guy comes home and catches them, and a vampire crashes the party.

 

[3113]

For example, Delilah is having an affair with the local minister, and therefore you try to equating all her feelings using biblical similes. I understand that one can go overboard, I'm just curious as to who thinks along these lines.

I tend to do such things, but I try not to be so direct about it. What I mean is, the question as to what kind of metaphors to use during the sex would, to me, be less about Delilah and the Minister (i.e. her biblical name and his job as a minister) then about deeper things that they want, or what the story itself is about (Spirituality? Taboos? Traditions?). If the theme is about "religious connections" then biblical similes would work--and one would have to watch going overboard.

There's also the question of what characters stand for and whose point of view it's coming from. Is Delilah the one who is seducing as in the old bible story, or is it the minister? Is she laced up and he's the hot one, or is he the traditionalist who must break with convention in order to have her. The minister might think biblically, and from his pov you'd have those metaphors, but Delilah might have an exotic background and never think biblically, and her pov would contain very different metaphors.

As an example: I have a story about a photographer of skinny models who falls for a plus-size woman. Because the thing he really wants to photograph are landscapes, the metaphors, when they make love, are all about landscapes (lush vs. barren), not photographs or modeling.

 

[sr71plt]

Yes, I often use similes and metaphors in my stories. But other devices in other stories.

 

[penandpaper]

I tend to do such things, but I try not to be so direct about it. What I mean is, the question as to what kind of metaphors to use during the sex would, to me, be less about Delilah and the Minister (i.e. her biblical name and his job as a minister) then about deeper things that they want, or what the story itself is about (Spirituality? Taboos? Traditions?). If the theme is about "religious connections" then biblical similes would work--and one would have to watch going overboard.

There's also the question of what characters stand for and whose point of view it's coming from. Is Delilah the one who is seducing as in the old bible story, or is it the minister? Is she laced up and he's the hot one, or is he the traditionalist who must break with convention in order to have her. The minister might think biblically, and from his pov you'd have those metaphors, but Delilah might have an exotic background and never think biblically, and her pov would contain very different metaphors.

As an example: I have a story about a photographer of skinny models who falls for a plus-size woman. Because the thing he really wants to photograph are landscapes, the metaphors, when they make love, are all about landscapes (lush vs. barren), not photographs or modeling.

3113,

I agree with you about the characters. The point of view needs to come from them. I wrote a story in which a woman had a deep science background, and therefore, many (not all) of her metaphors were science based. I was very curious to see if other writers do this.

I believe a few may, especially theme oriented writers, but much of it may get changed through editing. I know I take a lot of mine out, thinking I've gone too overboard.

Thanks for the input.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I have a musician and visual artist couple that i write about. i have noticed that the musician says "listen" and the artist says "look" when they want the other one to pay attention.

But it occurs to me that I never used many metaphors in my writing anyway-- it was all very physical, very here and now. Now that I'm moving into romance and such, I'm seeing some allusive writing creeping in.

 

[dozenjinx]

I wouldn't go very literal with it myself, I'd personally try to have the dynamics of the sex itself metaphorically relevant with regards to other aspects of the character development. For instance, Woman finally leaves unfulfilling relationship. A sex scene with the ex might reveal aspects of her passivity, desire for more, etc. Words such as "wilt" or "sloth" might work their way in there. Woman meets another man. Their sex scene involves her taking more charge, dominating the situation. Words such as "rock" or "tower" might work their way in there.

I've always belonged to the school of thought that if a metaphor is unambiguous and easy to identify, it's probably a lousy metaphor. The times that it's not a lousy metaphor, it actually still is a lousy metaphor, but it's disguised with such beautiful writing that nobody cares.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Dozenjinx,

yes-- the sex can make an excellent metaphor for the relationship, or the personalities, or something one character is dealing with in other circumstances.

 

[starscape]

An early mentor told me to pick a theme for each scene/character andstick to it. The example he used was "don't start out describing fiery passion with heated imagery and then dump watery metaphors into the scene. You don't wind up with steamy romance, you wind up with soggy ashes."

I've caught myself doing exactly that a few times when writing a sex scene. Thankfully I noticed it and thought, to use your example, "Why am I describing the blazing fires of lust and talking about being swept away by the ocean of desire?" Hopefully I wasn't being that obvious but I'm sure you see the point.

I don't know if I agree that each character should only have one theme necessarily. It seems to me it doesn't allow for major change or transformation to occur with the characters. If they stay pretty steady and consistent throughout I can see it, though.

There's also the question of what characters stand for and whose point of view it's coming from. Is Delilah the one who is seducing as in the old bible story, or is it the minister? Is she laced up and he's the hot one, or is he the traditionalist who must break with convention in order to have her. The minister might think biblically, and from his pov you'd have those metaphors, but Delilah might have an exotic background and never think biblically, and her pov would contain very different metaphors.

As an example: I have a story about a photographer of skinny models who falls for a plus-size woman. Because the thing he really wants to photograph are landscapes, the metaphors, when they make love, are all about landscapes (lush vs. barren), not photographs or modeling.

This is a good point, and much more subtle than I've probably tended to be. I like using similes and metaphors in my writing, so I'm going to have to try being more cognizant of this as I write in the future.

I have a musician and visual artist couple that i write about. i have noticed that the musician says "listen" and the artist says "look" when they want the other one to pay attention.

But it occurs to me that I never used many metaphors in my writing anyway-- it was all very physical, very here and now. Now that I'm moving into romance and such, I'm seeing some allusive writing creeping in.

I like your example a lot. It's not an anvil; it may or may not be something the reader would be consciously aware of, but it gives an extra layer or richness to the characterization.

I, on the other hand, use metaphors quite a bit, perhaps even too much. But then I do write romantic stories, albeit rather stroky ones.

I've always belonged to the school of thought that if a metaphor is unambiguous and easy to identify, it's probably a lousy metaphor. The times that it's not a lousy metaphor, it actually still is a lousy metaphor, but it's disguised with such beautiful writing that nobody cares.

D'oh! Reading this made me cringe. I'm not so sure I do ambiguity very well. <sobs>

 

[Weird Harold]

I don't know if I agree that each character should only have one theme necessarily. It seems to me it doesn't allow for major change or transformation to occur with the characters. If they stay pretty steady and consistent throughout I can see it, though.

The longer your story is, the more room you have for development. In a long story or novel, you have room for a character to change from an artist's view of the world to a musician's view of the world -- to use Stella's fine example.

My mentor was talking about short story writing in particular, but the principle of not "mixing metaphors" applies to longer works as well. Once characters gets to an age we can write about here at Lit, their personalities tend to be fully formed and the way the see and relate to the world around them is well-established. Choosing a broad category of metaphors and similes -- Earth, Air, Fire, Water, or Spirit, for example -- to describe each character is one tool you can use to illustrate each character.

 

[Stella_Omega]

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I've always belonged to the school of thought that if a metaphor is unambiguous and easy to identify, it's probably a lousy metaphor. The times that it's not a lousy metaphor, it actually still is a lousy metaphor, but it's disguised with such beautiful writing that nobody cares.

Um. If your goal is ambiguity then unambiguous metaphors would not be acceptable to you-- but your writing would probably irritate the hell out of me. I have a very low tolerance for muddledness.

 

[dozenjinx]

Um. If your goal is ambiguity then unambiguous metaphors would not be acceptable to you-- but your writing would probably irritate the hell out of me. I have a very low tolerance for muddledness.

It's not so much that my overall goal in fiction is ambiguity, but when it comes to metaphors, here's how I see it... If the audience needs to have a metaphor blatantly spelled out to them, they're probably too unsophisticated to appreciate what metaphors, themes, and other fictional abstracts are all about. That's generally symptomatic of inelegant writing.

Unfortunately, one of the side effects to not spelling things out to people is giving them just enough freedom to interpret things as they would like, rather than as the author would intend. It's a skilled writer who can offer the reader enough freedom to interpret the content any old way that they want, and only through the subtlest of guidance come around to understanding the thematic forces at work in a piece of fiction.

Plus, arguably the only really good subject matter involves themes that we all have complicated relationships with, and it's insulting to simplify those themes. It's practically propaganda.

Just my two cents.

 

[starscape]

Choosing a broad category of metaphors and similes -- Earth, Air, Fire, Water, or Spirit, for example -- to describe each character is one tool you can use to illustrate each character.

Ooo, I've never done that before. Although I suppose I'd have to sort out what qualities would make someone an Earth, Air, Fire, Water, or Spirit kind of person.

 

[Tx Tall Tales]

Guilty as hell.

I like to develop a theme and tone, and use it throughout, sprinkling (probably too many) similes and metaphors all around. I know that I'm especially guilty of doing it while describing actual sex scenes vs. the buildup.

How many ways can you describe the act of sex without really dipping into the well of similes and metaphors? And if you're going to go there, I think having a common theme seems more natural, at least to my writing, than otherwise. Avoiding the all too common cliches and overused standards is a problem I still wrestle with (and lose) all too often.

When I read the works by the really good writers here (not necessarily the best storytellers) I get jealous as hell. I swear I'm going to learn to write better, but 2 pages into my next story, I'm back to my nature. Oh well.

 

[Weird Harold]

Ooo, I've never done that before. Although I suppose I'd have to sort out what qualities would make someone an Earth, Air, Fire, Water, or Spirit kind of person.

Beware of over-analyzing things. You won't necessarily need to sort out specific qualities if you just try to keep your characters' qualities consistent and let them tell you what broad category they fit into.

The "Classical Elements" aren't the only broad categories available either -- there are the "Five Senses" or "Colors of the Rainbow" or "Points of the Compass" (regional differences in world view) -- and people are complicated enough that a Character could be a combination of several groups, eg an "Earthy Red Smells" kind of person, (whatever that might turn out to be.)

 

[Stella_Omega]

It's not so much that my overall goal in fiction is ambiguity, but when it comes to metaphors, here's how I see it... If the audience needs to have a metaphor blatantly spelled out to them, they're probably too unsophisticated to appreciate what metaphors, themes, and other fictional abstracts are all about. That's generally symptomatic of inelegant writing.

"She had a peaches and cream complexion; wet and fuzzy."

here's a long page full of wonderful howlers;

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

 

[penandpaper]

Those are funny.

I especially like these two:

"He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree."

&

"The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play."

 

[starscape]

I'm partial to:

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.



Makes me feel better about the similes and metaphors I use.

 

[starscape]

Beware of over-analyzing things. You won't necessarily need to sort out specific qualities if you just try to keep your characters' qualities consistent and let them tell you what broad category they fit into.

Whatever gave you the idea I tend to over-analyze? Just kidding. Guilty.

The "Classical Elements" aren't the only broad categories available either -- there are the "Five Senses" or "Colors of the Rainbow" or "Points of the Compass" (regional differences in world view) -- and people are complicated enough that a Character could be a combination of several groups, eg an "Earthy Red Smells" kind of person, (whatever that might turn out to be.)

I'm glad you mentioned that you can mix up "categories" to describe a character. Actually, now that I think of it, that's what real people are like. Hm <rubs chin>. Damnit! Now I'm back to being analytical again.

Are/were you a professional writer? You seem to know a lot of stuff I've never heard of before. Or am I just particularly uninformed?

 

[Weird Harold]

Damnit! Now I'm back to being analytical again.

Are/were you a professional writer? You seem to know a lot of stuff I've never heard of before. Or am I just particularly uninformed?

Most of the "stuff" is things I've learned by reading -- and I've been reading everything I could get my hands on for a bit over fifty years (as of a week ago last Friday when I turned 60. )

Analyzing your writing and/or other people's writing to see what works and why isn't a bad thing -- at least not when you're not actually writing. It's over -analyzing that is the problem. Thinking about technique when you should be thinking about telling the story leads to a writers version of "The Centipede's Dilemma."

 

[DeeZire]

I wouldn't hesitate to use this one from Stella's link:

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

It sounds like part of a Garrison Keillor monologue when he's doing Guy Noir, Private Eye.

 

[starscape]

Most of the "stuff" is things I've learned by reading -- and I've been reading everything I could get my hands on for a bit over fifty years (as of a week ago last Friday when I turned 60. )

Aw, Happy Belated Birthday!

I've got a "milestone" birthday myself this year. The big 4-0. Sigh. Where did the time go?

Analyzing your writing and/or other people's writing to see what works and why isn't a bad thing -- at least not when you're not actually writing. It's over -analyzing that is the problem. Thinking about technique when you should be thinking about telling the story leads to a writers version of "The Centipede's Dilemma."

I'm glad you mentioned this. When I'm writing it's just coming out of me and I don't really think about it while it's happening. Well, I'm thinking about the story, but not, as you say, the technique. I must admit from reading some of these threads I started thinking that maybe I needed to be paying more attention while I'm writing because I'm making a lot of these "mistakes" people talk about. Guess that's what the editing and "down time" stages are for.

I wouldn't hesitate to use this one from Stella's link:

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

It sounds like part of a Garrison Keillor monologue when he's doing Guy Noir, Private Eye.

LOL. You're right! I liked that one a lot too, and as you say, it's actually usable in the right context.