Like fine wine?

[Keroin]

Some posts over in the "men" thread starting me thinking about age and sex.

I know sex has changed dramatically for me as I've matured. What I experience at almost-40 is not what I experienced at 20.

How old are you, (rough numbers are fine for those who wish not to share), and how is sex now different than it was at other ages? Better? Worse? Less? More?

If you are in the younger crowd - and we love you guys so put down the rocks - how would you describe your sex life now and what is your perception of sex between "older" people?

 

[graceanne]

I'm 31. The biggest thing I've noticed is that as I get older I'm more open to try different things, which has made our sex life richer and more fun.

And btw - I consider myself in the 'in between' crowd; not old or young. Just fyi.

 

[ZRT]

34.

Things have improved a lot as I've gotten older. More experience, more selection, more knowledge of what I'm looking for in women. These days, I can be fairly precise and specific in what I want, and I know pretty much exactly what I'm after, though I'm also still open to experimenting.

Ironically enough, I have less now though more is available, simply because I'm too damned busy these days.

 

[midwestyankee]

I'm not ready to comment on the substantive question that you posed, as that's not a simple proposition, but I'll admit to having been 13 when the Beatles first appeared on Ed Sullivan in 1964.

 

[graceanne]

I'm not ready to comment on the substantive question that you posed, as that's not a simple proposition, but I'll admit to having been 13 when the Beatles first appeared on Ed Sullivan in 1964.

Wow. You were born before TV.

 

[CutieMouse]

Thirty-seven...

Lets just say that at twenty, I actually believed sex outside of marriage was a sin. (And people think I'm wound too tight now... )

Fortunately, I no longer suffer from that delusion [and thankfully accept most of my particular proclivities]; unfortunately, opportunities to enjoy said sin-free status have been few and far between the last few years.

 

[Keroin]

I'm not ready to comment on the substantive question that you posed, as that's not a simple proposition, but I'll admit to having been 13 when the Beatles first appeared on Ed Sullivan in 1964.

That must have been quite a moment! I'm jealous.

Yeesh, now I have to get my calculator

 

[Homburg]

I'm better at it. Better at getting it too.

Can't say that I'm any more or less potent now. I can remember 20-minute refractory periods in my 20's, and still get similar refractory periods now. If anything, I am more capable of activity now, as I've gone for marathon weekends where I vastly out-performed myself in my 20's.

I am 36.

 

[myinnerslut]

im 21. sex with an older man has been from the very first time, and consistently since, far better then sex with someone my own age. it could be a comment on those two someones, or it could further your thesis.

 

[Primalex]

How old are you, (rough numbers are fine for those who wish not to share), and how is sex now different than it was at other ages? Better? Worse? Less? More?

When I was younger, sex was very important. Now I think it's way overrated.

For example, 20 years ago, I would have said that if my steady partner couldn't have sex with me for an acceptable reason (i.e. disability) anymore that I couldn't maintain such a relationship if I mustn't have sex with other persons then. Now I don't think so anymore.

 

[graceanne]

im 21. sex with an older man has been from the very first time, and consistently since, far better then sex with someone my own age. it could be a comment on those two someones, or it could further your thesis.

I've only ever had sex with an older man, so I can't speak from my experience, but I can say that my sister and best friend say that older men make the best lovers.

 

[man_4_milf]

Desire now more in my forties and don't want to miss all together what I have not experienced.

 

[EmpressFi]

I've only ever had sex with an older man, so I can't speak from my experience, but I can say that my sister and best friend say that older men make the best lovers.

think it depends on the lover... my ex was 10 years older, a guy 1 dated after him was 18 years older, but my best have been younger than me

 

[graceanne]

think it depends on the lover... my ex was 10 years older, a guy 1 dated after him was 18 years older, but my best have been younger than me

This reminds me of a thread once, about older or younger . . . Hm. Let me look.

Never mind. Can't find it.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I'm pushin' 60, and I'm "not as good as I once was," but the desire damned sure hasn't been extinguished And what I've lost along the way in stamina and recuperative speed (and to heart and diabetes medications), I think I've more than made up for with other techniques for "entertaining" my partner and making her know that she truly matters to me.

 

[rida]

I'm 40.

I started having sex with my first steady boyfriend when I was in college, a late bloomer indeed. Sex was great, I loved it but was not obsessed with it. Nevertheless we had plenty of it. I had no problem having orgasms and I could come very fast.

Now, sex is even greater. It takes me longer to orgasm but I keep going afterward as well. A big change happened after childbirth. Somehow it made sex and orgasms much better than before.

Am I better or worse than when I was younger? Cannot say. I'd have to get back with my college bf and ask his opinion

 

[Keroin]

39 + 11 months

Happily tossed away virginity at 15, so that's almost 25 years of bumping uglies.

I was a randy young thing but it was mostly quantity, not quality, (though I didn't know it at the time).

Mid-twenties to mid-thirties were subdued, mostly because I was career focused but also my hormones seemed to stall out or something.

Mid-thirties to present...va va va voom! Wow, if sex gets any better with age I may spontaneously combust one day. I'm sure hormones are playing a role, but I've also shed almost all inhibitions. I know what I want and I'm not afraid to ask for it. What a welcome change.

I've found that men thirty and over have been my best lovers. They've lost that dog-humping-your-leg attitude and seem comfortable in their own skin. Nice.

 

[Homburg]

I've found that men thirty and over have been my best lovers. They've lost that dog-humping-your-leg attitude and seem comfortable in their own skin. Nice.

This seems to be the consistent thread. That said, I never really had leg-humping thing going. I am more comfortable in my own skin these days. That much I am in line with.

 

[Sexualinnocent]

For me, and this is just my opinion...

Age isn't the thing. It's the maturity of my partner. Whether he really cares about me, and wants to make it great for both of us, rather than selfishly just for him.

Now i will say that i have found older men to be more this way.

 

[Cattypuss]

I'm 41. As I've got older (in truth only in the last 2 years or so) I have found sex to be more "holistically" fulfilling, even when it's just casual with a fuck buddy. I think some of the reasons for this are that now I'm older -

(1) I care less about the imperfections in my body (and they are many and huge).

(2) I am more accepting of myself as a person; I like me for who I am in a way I never have before. I relax more with people.

(3) I suspect hormonally I'm having some sort of sexual peak (sex just feels better - even though it felt fantastic at 20 and 30).

(4) I have in the last 2 years "discovered" older men. Until then my lovers were always within a couple of years of my own age. The last two years I've been more with men who are in their late 40s/ 50-ish and THAT has been a REVELATION. Wish I'd known about older men years ago!!!

(5) Since last autumn I've started exploring kinks I used to fantasise about but not act out. Feels so gooood.

All in all, a thumbs up from me. Being 40-something rocks (so far!).

 

[naxalite0906]

I am almost 26. Right now is the best sex I have had.

Whether that is due to gaining more experience or being more open minded and understanding of my turn ons I could not say. It helps I have a very wonderful, willing partner though

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I am 36.

Sex has never been that important to me. *sighs* Yes, I know...I know. I have found that the older I get, the less time it takes me to get off (if or when I choose to do so) however being a multiple type doesn't mean the sex is that great. Most times I go through the motions to encourage my bottom.

I have found that fake it til you make it is apt in my case and that sexually I could go forever without any touching from anyone else as long as they allow me to love them.

Sex isn't important, connection is important. And the older I get, the more truth that statement holds.

 

[ZRT]

I've found that men thirty and over have been my best lovers. They've lost that dog-humping-your-leg attitude and seem comfortable in their own skin. Nice.

Ironically enough, my libido has grown rather than shrank as I got older. However, the dampening of the hormone fog allows me to be more controlled about it. It's a very unusual change.

Of course, in my youth I was a reckless thrill-seeker and sublimated a lot of my urges into that. Now that I'm older I'm quite a bit more cautious, so sex has kind of replaced the old 'Find something crazy-dangerous to do' urge. Or at least become the larger piece of my drive.

Definite yes on the 'comfortable in my own skin' business, though. I've never been fond of the notion of fake-ness to acquire relationships, so I never did the pickup lines or bullshit like that. What I learned from that was that all I have to do to attract women is be me.

That's a pretty sweet spot to be in, because I'm damn good at being me.

 

[Keroin]

This seems to be the consistent thread. That said, I never really had leg-humping thing going. I am more comfortable in my own skin these days. That much I am in line with.

Ironically enough, my libido has grown rather than shrank as I got older. However, the dampening of the hormone fog allows me to be more controlled about it. It's a very unusual change.

Of course, in my youth I was a reckless thrill-seeker and sublimated a lot of my urges into that. Now that I'm older I'm quite a bit more cautious, so sex has kind of replaced the old 'Find something crazy-dangerous to do' urge. Or at least become the larger piece of my drive.

Definite yes on the 'comfortable in my own skin' business, though. I've never been fond of the notion of fake-ness to acquire relationships, so I never did the pickup lines or bullshit like that. What I learned from that was that all I have to do to attract women is be me.

That's a pretty sweet spot to be in, because I'm damn good at being me.

I should know better than to post on the fly. The dog metaphor wasn't very flattering, was it? LOL. Apologies to men everywhere.

What I meant was that, with younger partners, as attracted to me as they may have been, there was always the distinct feeling that my flesh was the driving force behind their attraction. This became more obvious once I was with men in their thirties, and above, and I saw how much more value they placed on the parts of me that weren't overtly sexual or even physical. That kind of attention and appreciation, is very, very sexy, BTW.

I think most of us grow more comfortable and confident as we age and this allows us to relax more with each other.

It's kind of like the difference between putting the pedal to the metal, to get to your destination as quickly as possible, and taking a scenic drive with lots of fun stops along the way. In both cases, you end up in the same spot but the latter is much more enjoyable. To me, anyway.

Added: I don't think I was a very good lover in my early years either - no lack of enthusiasm but definitely a lack of skill and finesse. I'm not saying it's only men that get better.

 

[ZRT]

I should know better than to post on the fly. The dog metaphor wasn't very flattering, was it? LOL. Apologies to men everywhere.

I'm totally not squashing any spiders for you.

...well, okay, I still will. Accepted.

Added: I don't think I was a very good lover in my early years either - no lack of enthusiasm but definitely a lack of skill and finesse. I'm not saying it's only men that get better.

VERY true. (About women getting better at it with age.)

I've never understood the stereotypical male fascination with virgins. I want a woman who knows where everything goes, damn it. I want a woman who might have something I haven't seen before.

I mean, if she totally schools me that might be hard on my dom ego and all, but having a goodly bit of experience at the arts sexual is a bonus in my book.