Boy trouble!

[Guest]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, and I've only had an orgasm two or three times. I have also tried getting him to tie me up, because I have always wanted to try that, but I don't know how to get him into it. Help?

 

[philosophygirl]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, and I've only had an orgasm two or three times. I have also tried getting him to tie me up, because I have always wanted to try that, but I don't know how to get him into it. Help?

have you told him flat out you would like it?

And then maybe offer him a bribe


I normally brought scarves into the bed with me, got him warmed up, handed him the scarves and said "tie me up"

I never got a no.


Good luck,

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Do you masturbate? If you can give yourself orgasms you should be able to teach your bf how to please you. Many women can't cum just through penetrative sex and need lots of clitoral stimulation as well. If you do a search on the How To forum, there are loads of useful threads on this.

As to getting him to tie you up, you might need to give him a bit more direction than that. Saying you want him to just 'use you' and get himself off is a good pointer if you want things to play out that way. If you just want some gentle teasing without any real dominance, it would be a good idea to say so before you're spread-eagled, bound and at his mercy.

Have fun x

 

[MisterSir]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, and I've only had an orgasm two or three times. I have also tried getting him to tie me up, because I have always wanted to try that, but I don't know how to get him into it. Help?

Hm. This is a tricky one, the sort of problem that make elderly Oriental masters of the various martial arts stroke their long white beards in contemplative thought. Thankfully, the group I keep in the basement are schooled in clairvoyance and so knew this question would come up approximately eighty-three years in advance and so have spent much of the time since mulling it over and, earlier today, Master Chang-Cho Duk (I'm told the others refer to him as "Crispy") came to me bearing a piece of paper with something written on it, as he's mute. The paper, and I quote, reads "要求他做它! 耶稣，我可以了解询问现实的问题，但是这是某事常识应该为你回答。" No, I didn't know what it meant either, so I then took THAT to a friend of mine who speaks Chinese and he translated it for me. The closest transliteration reads "Just bloody ask him to do it! Jesus, I can understand asking about real problems but this is something that common sense should answer for you."

Summary: Just bloody ask him to do it! Jesus, I can understand asking about real problems but this is something that common sense should answer for you.

 

[soi7]

Well she's probably afraid that he'll say no to the tying up and make her feel foolish. But yeah, take some scarves or maybe silk necktie to bed. Show him how, make him a participant but don't just wait for him to do it, help him. But it sounds like bigger issues than that loom... openness and honestly are essential, obviously. Communicate.

 

[Guest]

Well I have asked him. He things it's masochistic. I like the idea of handing him the ties and talking him through it, though, thanks!

 

[myinnerslut]

there isnt anything wrong with masochistic, dear

but i understand its a scary word and he may not like the connotations. that, and nothing youve actually said has convinced me you ARE masochistic, so lets not add complicating factors.

the trick is to tell him in a way he thinks is hot, not scary. find some porn that features (not exclusivly so as not to overwhelm him) light bondage as part of the script. suggest you watch it together. point out what you like.

you can write it out in a piece of erotica where the main character (you) gets tied up by him.

as for the orgasm problem, do you own any toys? going shopping with him for a vibrator might hit two birds with one stone. while you are there there is almost always some stuff. they are usually cliche but can plant ideas, or seem be less threatening and hard core to him when seen sitting on a store shelf (as opposed to a length of rope from the hardware store)

 

[alterateErotica]

Most of the Japanese rope work I've learned is not particularly masochistic in it's presentation, rather it's quite elegant. Perhaps a bit of erotic imagery might help him overcome that particular concern. I've become quite fond of a number of books on the subject I used to learn the art, perhaps a trip to the local book store would be a nice first start.

As always, it's about communication and if you've had only a handful of orgasms over the last few years I would guess you have more to talk about so he knows what you want (should that be need?) him to do to get you off. Frankly, as much as I'm rooting for you to get tied up, I'm genuinely concerned that you're not getting satisfied regularly. Perhaps that speaks a bit to his lack of interest in doing something that is pleasurable to you in the ropes, as he's getting his jollies with out putting any effort into it.

 

[Guest]

That's the impression I get, that he is getting off easy and I am suffering. I dunno, maybe he'll get over it eventually. I have tried writing a story about it, but I don't know how much it helped.

 

[YourCaptor]

Only read the first post.

Get a dildo, vibrator, etc

Explore yourself, findout what feels really good.

Teach him how to do that without the toys.

 

[graceanne]

Well I have asked him. He things it's masochistic. I like the idea of handing him the ties and talking him through it, though, thanks!

Maybe you should tie him up first. Maybe then he'd realize that bondage is not necessarily masochistic.