Again with the confusion

[bi golly]

I have been twisting in the wind with gender identification for a long time. Not which gender I am, but which gender I want to have sex with. I'm a man, I have no doubts about that.

But the idea of sex with men is so damned appealing. I have been jerking off to images of men fucking me for many years. A couple of nights ago, I jerked off before going to sleep and then dreamed about women all night long. Soft, supple, beautiful women.

I woke up thinking that maybe my conscious mind isn't listening to my subconscious mind, that maybe I am really straight but just confused.

So, last night I dreamed about being with a computer someplace and wondering if other people could see me look up 'bisexual' in a search engine and what they would think. And I have been looking at adverts on CL wondering if any of the guys who say that they are curious are really newbies or what the game is.

I don't know. It feels like a turn inward, a turn toward myself, when I think about sex with men, and a turn outward when I think about sex with women.

 

[RagsNRiches]

I have been twisting in the wind with gender identification for a long time. Not which gender I am, but which gender I want to have sex with. I'm a man, I have no doubts about that.

But the idea of sex with men is so damned appealing. I have been jerking off to images of men fucking me for many years. A couple of nights ago, I jerked off before going to sleep and then dreamed about women all night long. Soft, supple, beautiful women.

I woke up thinking that maybe my conscious mind isn't listening to my subconscious mind, that maybe I am really straight but just confused.

So, last night I dreamed about being with a computer someplace and wondering if other people could see me look up 'bisexual' in a search engine and what they would think. And I have been looking at adverts on CL wondering if any of the guys who say that they are curious are really newbies or what the game is.

I don't know. It feels like a turn inward, a turn toward myself, when I think about sex with men, and a turn outward when I think about sex with women.

Hi bi golly,
It sounds like you're confused about being bi-sexual, and yet you have the term "bi" in your name. If you're anything like me, you just have occasional guilt feelings about being bi. Depending on the number and quality of male partners you've had, I think the acting out of the bi-curiosity will show you the way to acceptance of what you really like. In my ideal world, I would be able to enjoy sex with four people most of the time; two males including me, and two women. I would want to interact with all three of the others. My reality is that I have to get the male sex in one experience and the female sex in another one. As far as I can tell, that is fairly normal for bi-sexual men.

For a long time, I thought that HAVING SEX with a male was the essence of homosexuality, but I think I'm correct now in believing that the essence of homosexuality is the aversion or repulsion of sex with females. In short, it appears to be a question of preference, not activity. So, the preference of having sex with both sexes would define bi-sexuality, regardless of your activity.

Just sharing my thinking with you; it's helpful to me, and I hope for you, too. Be patient with yourself.

Rags

 

[texharley]

I have been twisting in the wind with gender identification for a long time. Not which gender I am, but which gender I want to have sex with. I'm a man, I have no doubts about that.

But the idea of sex with men is so damned appealing. I have been jerking off to images of men fucking me for many years. A couple of nights ago, I jerked off before going to sleep and then dreamed about women all night long. Soft, supple, beautiful women.

I woke up thinking that maybe my conscious mind isn't listening to my subconscious mind, that maybe I am really straight but just confused.

So, last night I dreamed about being with a computer someplace and wondering if other people could see me look up 'bisexual' in a search engine and what they would think. And I have been looking at adverts on CL wondering if any of the guys who say that they are curious are really newbies or what the game is.

I don't know. It feels like a turn inward, a turn toward myself, when I think about sex with men, and a turn outward when I think about sex with women.

You just sound bisexual to me.I suggest you just embrace who you are and enjoy sex with both men and women. If the oppurtunity arises have a threesome or foursome.

 

[bi golly]

You just sound bisexual to me.I suggest you just embrace who you are and enjoy sex with both men and women. If the oppurtunity arises have a threesome or foursome.

I don't know what I am. Whenever I think I have reached some point of decision, the other side pushes back. For example, I decided to concentrate on dating women. I haven't been dating much for the last year for a number of reasons. Mostly because I hadn't met that many women I wanted to go out with. I have been really busy in other areas, and single women haven't crossed my path.

So I have been working in the yard today, and the only thing I can think about is an article about polyamory. I have never been a poly fan, but I was thinking that if that is what it took to be in a loving relationship, I would do it. For me, it isn't the sex that is attractive. It is to love and be loved, and that hasn't been happening for me. The idea of being with two people and being able to make love to both of them is all I can think about while doing yard work.

It's crazy.

 

[pussy_liquor]

I go back and forth...sometimes thinking its exciting thinking about being with a guy. And then trying to forget about it. I'm afraid the guilt might get the best of me if I ever did follow through. I just know the wifes strap on feels soooo
good.