How do you punish or discipline?

[WriterDom]

To me that’s entirely sub dependent. In the process of getting to know someone, I get a sense of what they either fear or hate the most and use it against them. It’s not a game I enjoy. I expect them to always be on the same page that I’m on. The ex I never really punished except for a hard spanking when she didn’t ask to cum. And that was more of a faux punishment. She really tired to make me happy in every way.

I don’t have the patience to deal with Sams, or Smart ass masochists. If you act up to get punished with me, I will assure you that the punishment you get won’t be enjoyable.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Sometimes the strop, sometimes lines. I'm not all that creative.

 

[Homburg]

Most commonly by expressing my disappointment. That is usually sufficient. Barring that, it is usually psychological stuff. I don't do lines usually, but have done them in the past, so that works as an example. Physical punishment is very, very rare. It's just not my thing.

I'm with you on the SAM's, WD. I don't really have time for that sort of thing. If you want a spanking, ask for it. Acting out in hopes that you'll get one is just going to get you told to fuck off for a while.

--

I'm not all that creative.

I actually try to not be inventive. While I can respect a particularly creative punishment, they also kind of bother me. I try to avoid things that either one of us enjoys when punishing, and a particularly creative and wily punishment might give me some satisfaction. I don't want that. _I_ fucked up too, as I failed to properly communicate my desires and/or the consequences of non-compliance, else she would not have made whatever mistake it was that warrants punishing. So I want to dislike it too.

I will say that there are times when punishment is seen as necessary from the s's perspective. There have been times when the need to suffer for perceived failures is great, and the only way to expiate guilt was through physical pain. If asked, I will do so.

 

[Netzach]

I don't. I register disappointment or fine-tune, but I tend to work with people who fail out of lack of information not intention.

Making someone do things they find terribly unpleasant is my idea of fun.

Oh I also don't let people off the hook for guilt except as a reward. If you fuck me over and feel bad, genuinely, I don't see why there's an unwritten law that I must relieve you. Relieve yourself by not fucking me over.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Oh I also don't let people off the hook for guilt except as a reward. If you fuck me over and feel bad, genuinely, I don't see why there's an unwritten law that I must relieve you. Relieve yourself by not fucking me over.

hehe

At least you are up-front about it!

women

 

[Homburg]

Oh I also don't let people off the hook for guilt except as a reward. If you fuck me over and feel bad, genuinely, I don't see why there's an unwritten law that I must relieve you. Relieve yourself by not fucking me over.

Eh. If there is one thing I've learned, it is that submissives, at least the ones I've kept and dealt with, seem to beat themselves up far harder, and far longer, than I would. At times, it becomes counterproductive, and gets in the way of proper operation. That is when I want it gone. It's not so much letting them off the hook, as it is realising that they are clinging to their mistakes more than I want them to, and I want it over with.

 

[midwestyankee]

Most commonly by expressing my disappointment. That is usually sufficient. Barring that, it is usually psychological stuff. I don't do lines usually, but have done them in the past, so that works as an example. Physical punishment is very, very rare. It's just not my thing.

I'm with you on the SAM's, WD. I don't really have time for that sort of thing. If you want a spanking, ask for it. Acting out in hopes that you'll get one is just going to get you told to fuck off for a while.

Exactly.

I've not had all that much occasion to punish and usually my disappointment seems to be an overwhelming consequence by itself. I don't need a reason to whale on her ass other than my own whim. I'm also not into creating situations that generate failure for its own sake. I just don't see the point, though it certainly would be if humiliation were in the repertoire.

 

[ZRT]

I'm pretty simple about it. A fuckup is a fuckup, get whatever is uncomfortable and unpleasant, do it, deal with it, move on. I do tend to favor some form of corporal punishment, because I use it as a sign that the failure's been acknowledge, the punishment delivered, and on my end it's a done deal and I'm not going to be bringing it up a month later.

A smack on the ass does fine. More as necessary.

(Originally typed that as 'more ass necessary'. Freudian much?)

 

[graceanne]

iwillnothijackseriousthreadiwillnothijackseriousthreads

 

[honeybites]

Sometimes the strop, sometimes lines. I'm not all that creative.

What are lines?

 

[intothewoods]

Mister Man doesn't punish. He has no interest in it.

I'm not a SAM. I do argue/debate/speak my mind/etc, but that's never been a problem. I'm not all fuck you about it. It's a give and take.

I don't. I register disappointment or fine-tune, but I tend to work with people who fail out of lack of information not intention.

Making someone do things they find terribly unpleasant is my idea of fun.

Oh I also don't let people off the hook for guilt except as a reward. If you fuck me over and feel bad, genuinely, I don't see why there's an unwritten law that I must relieve you. Relieve yourself by not fucking me over.

Part of why *I* am not attracted to the punishment model is that I feel like if I fuck up I have to deal with it, including resolving it in a way so that I don't feel guilty. It's no one else's responsibility to rid me of this feeling. Nothing against those who do. It's just what I feel like I want and need.

 

[rosco rathbone]

What are lines?

i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told

 

[honeybites]

i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
...
i must do as im told
i must do as im told

Schoolgirl

 

[rosco rathbone]

Schoolgirl

Yeah.

"Lines are inane" I'm told.

not supposed to be fun.

 

[Netzach]

Eh. If there is one thing I've learned, it is that submissives, at least the ones I've kept and dealt with, seem to beat themselves up far harder, and far longer, than I would. At times, it becomes counterproductive, and gets in the way of proper operation. That is when I want it gone. It's not so much letting them off the hook, as it is realising that they are clinging to their mistakes more than I want them to, and I want it over with.

"Let it the fuck go Harvey" usually does the job.

 

[Netzach]

i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told
i must do as im told

Too hot for misery for me.

 

[honeybites]

Yeah.

"Lines are inane" I'm told.

not supposed to be fun.

Could be if the point was to *try* and concentrate on doing them.

But I guess punishment isn't meant to be fun.

 

[ZRT]

Too hot for misery for me.

Yup.

Verbal self-humiliation is too much fun for me to use it as punishment. When I punish, I can't allow myself to take joy in it.

 

[rosco rathbone]

500 of them get old.

 

[Homburg]

"Let it the fuck go Harvey" usually does the job.

Sometimes that just doesn't work. Trust me, I tried.

 

[intothewoods]

Sometimes that just doesn't work. Trust me, I tried.

I don't buy it.

I don't think you called her Harvey.

 

[Cabeza]

Punishment

xxxxx

 

[CutieMouse]

For myself, in my particular relationship, I don't punish. Punishment is a treat to a real sub. The scene is about my pleasure, not hers. I tell her - or make her - do as she's told (within, of course, the guidelines we set ahead of time!) I spank her if I feel like causing her pain, not to punish. Maybe this sounds harsh, but it's what she wants (and I'm a big puppy dog, after!)

Bullshit.

ETA:

In case my comment was too brief, my point is that not all submissives are masochists, and not all masochists are submissive. It is also quite possible to take even the most erotic masochist person on the planet and figure out a punishment they hate - it may just take a slightly more creative mind than most. In other words, do not confuse incredibly hot [agreed upon] deliciously painful sex with punishment... they don't necessarily have anything in common.

 

[gypsy*seer]

Bullshit.

Exactly!

 

[Cabeza]

xxxxx