Do I wanna get punished? Would it help?

[Dreamy87]

Hi everyone,

I have been having this question in my head for a while, but I have not put any conclusion towards it. Any comments are welcomed!

I am actually not too much into BDSM, but I do know I like bondage and some light spanking and the powerplay control part. From what I fantasize I am more of a switch; I like to tie someone up and spank but on the other hand I would very much to be tied and and spanked.

When I was a kid, I had depression since I can remember. I hated myself and wanted my parents to scold and punish for in short who I am. I recently got out of depression and felt great for the past few months. However, for the past few weeks it came racing back and took me off guard. I have been trying to get back up, at times I can as I am trying to do stuff that I enjoy. It does not really work though, as I also don't feel like going out even though I know I would enjoy it. Basically I do not have motivation and feel tired, as I am trying not to be too depressed. It affects my uni life, as I am not doing anything for it. I have been wondering on and off about being punished, the need to tell me and show me that I need discipline. So I have been pondering whether maybe a one experience or maybe more would actually help.

I would appreciate any comments. thx

 

[FurryFury]

It might help, it might not. There is no way of knowing unless you try. What you know WILL help is getting counseling and other therapies available to you at Uni.

 

[hotgr]

Yes it sounds like you really need a punishment. I think you have lost your way and you need someone to straighten you up a little bit. The young ones must learn manners as long as they are young and some little girls like you need to be taught a lesson of how to behave

 

[CutieMouse]

Yes it sounds like you really need a punishment. I think you have lost your way and you need someone to straighten you up a little bit. The young ones must learn manners as long as they are young and some little girls like you need to be taught a lesson of how to behave

Sigh. Watch bad porn much?



To the OP:

BDSM is not a substitute for actual treatment. If you've always struggled with depression, you might be better off exploring therapy/meds. If you're unwilling to go that route, the typical self-help route is exercise, a good sleep routine, healthy diet, etc.

 

[HarlotMinx]

Yes it sounds like you really need a punishment. I think you have lost your way and you need someone to straighten you up a little bit. The young ones must learn manners as long as they are young and some little girls like you need to be taught a lesson of how to behave

sigh.

This is why I made my motivations thread. It sounds like self esteem and not punishment is the problem.

 

[nh23]

Or..she could be an emotional masochist. I am. I don't ever have bouts of depression that are more than what I think anyone else has. I've never attempted suicide. I'm by no means normal and probably more that a little fucked up. But I lead a pretty good life. That's just me though. From the post it sounds like she does have some issues with depression.

Also in the type of relationship I'm in..if I crave humiliation, pain etc.. I ask for that. I wouldn't ask for punishment. Punishment for me would be to not get pain, sex, humiliation etc..lol

 

[Dreamy87]

Thx Furry, Cutie, HarlotMinx and ur thread!!!

I agree with you all there. Depression makes one sinking into darker places, to be more hurt and making one in danger. Using physical means does not help if one is not able to cure oneself from the inside.
I realize that I have depression since I can remember. With 16 I have started to fight against it, and in 5 yrs I have changed from being depressed, non-talkative, loner, who hated oneself into someone, who is open, honest and I learned to like myself and not looking down on myself anymore. The past few months were great. I found my career path and worked on it. I want to be out going, so I went out to social events and love socializing. Although I have no interest in my degree anymore, I felt good about it that I will somehow finish it and will follow my career path then. I smiled a lot and it was just great.
But around one month ago it hit me and felt physically ache in my heart. I still believe in me what I have found and will approach it. There are two reasons mainly why everything started going down. My struggle with my degree is so great now, that I feel no matter how much I put in, I wont be able to finish it and do not have the urge to try. Secondly and main reason I believe is my ache for intimacy that I had since I can remember, that never got fulfilled, which I have been trying to search the last few months.
I am quite rational, so I do believe, if things are meant to happen it will. not sure, but in my opinion I don't think I need counseling, I do understand my depression. I guess mainly that it came back, it was because I am tried to push myself alone. I wanted just someone to hold me at night, just to feel that I am not pushing constantly. In the same time, I should believe in myself that I CAN push myself. Action is what is needed. So I just did my own timetable for tonite. Less thinking, more Doing. I do have a build of myself of who I actually can be, and will be working towards it. I do believe one can overcome oneself. It is hard to always show ones belief that it is possible. But damnit...I WILL FUCKING SHOW MYSELF THAT MY BELIEVES ARE TUE! I WILL CONQUERE MY SHELL, WHO I WAS AND BE WHO I AM FROM MY HEART AND SOUL!

sorry for babbling on...and compared to lots and lots of ppl this may sound like nothing. I guess it helps to say it again and again how I should motivate myself. Any idea are appreciated...or if you have diff opinion that I still should ask for help or such I am all ear, as I do like to understand social views.

but whatever ways...i think..i still like spanking!

 

[Dreamy87]

Or..she could be an emotional masochist. I am. I don't ever have bouts of depression that are more than what I think anyone else has. I've never attempted suicide. I'm by no means normal and probably more that a little fucked up. But I lead a pretty good life. That's just me though. From the post it sounds like she does have some issues with depression.

Also in the type of relationship I'm in..if I crave humiliation, pain etc.. I ask for that. I wouldn't ask for punishment. Punishment for me would be to not get pain, sex, humiliation etc..lol

not sure whether i am an emotional masochist....i dunt think so...but you never know what happens in the future ^^

yes I do have some issues with my depression...which I thought I got over..but I guess..ultimately...is to be stable...that when one is down wont go further into depression and comes back up from down. I manage it for 4 months, although I had down times...I was not depressed. When it hit me...I just feel tired all the time not to fall deeper. So i guess...I have to cont push myself to overcome the barrier again and keep on it.

Thank you for listening everyone...your feedback does help, as I feel ppl are listening and I can show again how I should pull myself back up and not giving up as it will be a journey as everyone else of falling and getting up. Not to fall back into depression...is hard..but argh...I will freaking do it!!! ><

but i think...what will also help...is to satisfy me sexual desires...as I keep thinking about sex when I work!!! like now!!!

 

[Marquis]

I think sometimes enforced discipline can help with depression.

Sometimes, if you're bickering with your lover, it's best to just fuck and get over it.

Sometimes it's best to see a counselor.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Punishment for me would be to not get pain, sex, humiliation etc..lol

Congrats to one of the few that finally "got it" ...

 

[nh23]

Congrats to one of the few that finally "got it" ...

*blushes*

 

[Netzach]

Assuming we're talking about catharsis or release or whatever, which a lot of people view as "punishment" in the dynamic, it might not hurt but it probably won't fix everything.

 

[sexycaz22]

Hi there....

To a degree, I do know how you feel, I have been depressed, and struggled with my course a few years back....it was bloody hard, and at the time, I didn't ask for help, instead I hid in my room at the college, not talking to my friends or family. In the end, my sister had to come to force me out of the room, and she was shocked to see the state I was in, and so all the family was called. At the time, the help came at the right time, and I know better now, to ask for help if I am having problems.....

However, right now, I have been having some 'blues' times and like you, the OP, I am also desiring that intimacy with someone, a long-term relationship (I have never had that kind of relationship) and I am sorta of feeling down on that. A nice hard spanking can do the job for a short time, but in the longer term, it's not the answer, at least for me! I will figure it out.........

 

[ultramarineblue]

I think BDSM can help with depression if the root of the depression is guilt over a need for BDSM. That being said, depression probably isn't caused from just one thing. There isn't an easy solution for it. If there was, no one would be depressed.

A good counselor will help you figure out the reasons for the depression and methods to deal with it. Medication can help but isn't the answer. It just helps you get to the point you can deal with the issues causing the problem so you can get on with life. Granted I know there are lots of opinions on this. I've always been of the opinion that we are an over-medicated society. I think that I should be able to get my shit together and handle it...that I don't need a pill to be able to do it. On the other hand there are people that truly need medication. I've seen one lady on a manic high where she would work for hours on her art. Her family fell to the wayside; other responsibilities she had undertaken were forgotten. Those things not only affected her, but they affected a lot of people.

Back on track rolleyes a counselor is supposed to help...not hurt. I've been to several and the one I'm going to now isn't the greatest but so far is the only one that hasn't somehow made me feel like I was doing something wrong. I'm the type that would try out different things to see if the counselor would catch me in my lies. None ever did. I could probably do that with the current counselor but I've realized that I only get out of it what I put into it. I'm the only one really responsible for being better.

 

[Dreamy87]

Hi there, thx everyone!!!

Hi there....

To a degree, I do know how you feel, I have been depressed, and struggled with my course a few years back....it was bloody hard, and at the time, I didn't ask for help, instead I hid in my room at the college, not talking to my friends or family. In the end, my sister had to come to force me out of the room, and she was shocked to see the state I was in, and so all the family was called. At the time, the help came at the right time, and I know better now, to ask for help if I am having problems.....

However, right now, I have been having some 'blues' times and like you, the OP, I am also desiring that intimacy with someone, a long-term relationship (I have never had that kind of relationship) and I am sorta of feeling down on that. A nice hard spanking can do the job for a short time, but in the longer term, it's not the answer, at least for me! I will figure it out.........

Hi!
yea, I am desiring someone for ages too...well since puberty I guess, but it never got fulfilled. There a few things I believe and want to stick them as much as I can. It's hard, but saying it again and again, trying to prove those words to me does sometimes help.

'life has its own way to sort things out'
'if it is meant to happen it will happen'
'never regret as what happened was the best decision one can do at that time'
'life is an exploration of oneself'
'see the bright side! why do you wanna put more attention to the dark side?' well...except SEX

I do not see it as a bad thing that I had depression since I was a kid, as I believe that it made me for who I am now, which I do learn to love, that me who can be all happy smiley, understanding, rational, open, honest etc. and maybe due to all this frustration I became more sexual that I would have been.
I know that at some point I will meet someone special. I know how I would give myself. That feeling to know one day it will happen makes me smile. I try not to think what don't have now, but what I do have. I have a great family, great friends, which was my childhood dreams, although they do not fullfill my total friends requirement as they are opposite of me eg.they don't go out at all, I do like them a lot. I know that in time, the more ppl i meet one day I will meet someone.

My family did know of my past depression, well I told them. But at that time I was really stable, so I told them that I am feeling great now, and how much I have changed and going to aim for what I want while in the mean time somehow passing my degree. My family and friends know that I am struggeling with it. But I guess, since I seem to be able to myself out for pleasure they think I am doing ok, anyways they are stressed with their own things anyway. I don't expect them to help, in fact I do not know how they can help me. Counselor? hmm...I know why I am depressed and have pretty gd hang of it, as in...I can now not feel depressed if I can get myself up, since I know how to make myself happy. But I do not how to overcome it if i study, as this can quickly makes me down....and another vicious cycle of lying around and pushing oneself begins.

I did progress ytd though. on Sat i planned my Sunday.
1. wake up - breakfast - check mails
2. SWIM!!! I even went to steam room, it was really nice...and while doing some sport and rest...although your mind keep busy thinking about things...at the same time you know you doing something good...and it kinda ease your min. and once you done with exercise...I felt really great, as I did not dwell on anything and just having more and more positive thoughts. I planned to do it every Sun.
3. lunch-home-revise (little steps) with breaks of checking online things
4. GO OUT

it does sometimes help to really see that life is an exploration of oneself. if there is a little mistake u have thought...learn from it, at least you know it s not what you want.

I actually read something once...

'I learn so much from mistakes, I do more!'

haha

 

[Dreamy87]

I think BDSM can help with depression if the root of the depression is guilt over a need for BDSM. That being said, depression probably isn't caused from just one thing. There isn't an easy solution for it. If there was, no one would be depressed.

A good counselor will help you figure out the reasons for the depression and methods to deal with it. Medication can help but isn't the answer. It just helps you get to the point you can deal with the issues causing the problem so you can get on with life. Granted I know there are lots of opinions on this. I've always been of the opinion that we are an over-medicated society. I think that I should be able to get my shit together and handle it...that I don't need a pill to be able to do it. On the other hand there are people that truly need medication. I've seen one lady on a manic high where she would work for hours on her art. Her family fell to the wayside; other responsibilities she had undertaken were forgotten. Those things not only affected her, but they affected a lot of people.

Back on track rolleyes a counselor is supposed to help...not hurt. I've been to several and the one I'm going to now isn't the greatest but so far is the only one that hasn't somehow made me feel like I was doing something wrong. I'm the type that would try out different things to see if the counselor would catch me in my lies. None ever did. I could probably do that with the current counselor but I've realized that I only get out of it what I put into it. I'm the only one really responsible for being better.

after talking about all this...I feel like..I do not wanna depend on punishment to me over it. It sometimes just seems like an excuse I guess....but of course that doesnt mean for playful punishment...or purposely ones

my depression doesn't affect anyone else but me. I love helping ppl out, in fact I have spent a lot of time doing that. which is why I wanna be a social worker (but doing chemistry atm), I do not know yet whether it is for me...but I will find out through volunteering. Whatever depression I feel, it would never affect this path of mine.

I always tell myself and believe that I shouldnt feel wrong, as it was the best I can do at the time and space. The thing is to realize it and try a different route.

Whatever I say here, when in depression those words are hard to follow, one feels just lying around, everything is wrong and just really lack of energy.

I feel like that in my head, the main problem is my degree now, which is too much for me to handle. Without it I think I might be able to stay UP as I do have a dream to fulfill! But the problem is now that I do now have the time. I need to sort it out fast, as my uni term is almost over and I need to show some results, which I am not doing.

Sometimes I think I am making excuses not to work for uni. but well..it did affect my whole me in every way. So it does sometimes help to think, I am trying my best not to go down totally. I am making progress, so what is the next step? do it...then feeling greater progress...even if you may feel you doing badly, a little step forward is a step closer!

It is tiring to push oneself, and it s great to have ppl to give you the energy if one needs. I haven't found one yet to really help me. But I am glad that ppl do understand and there to listen. I am waiting for someone to be able to give me the right energy, but I know I can't depend on it, what is left is...that I do believe one day I will totally conquer it. life goes up and down, it s a cycle of falling and getting up again and again. ulitimately is have the downs stay downs and not sliding into depression.

ultramarineblue I hope you will get better and better!!! and yes, I agree...ppl only help you if you really wanna be helped and do give yourself to be helped. Counselor are not psychic, they try to help whatever problem you give them and it is oneself to use that energy.

 

[Dreamy87]

highly recommend these even if you do choose to get counseling.

for exercise; yoga is an awesome discipline for coping with depression... or has been for me in the past at any rate.

oh yes... and fish oil actually helps too; the omega 3 fatty acids are essential to the health of your nervous system, and quintessential for getting the nervous system to accept changes.

yea!!! I planned for tonite...to do some yoga. although it will be myself as I cannot afford to go to lessons, I have a dvd to follow.

a balanced diet...yes yes yes. I have been neglecting cooking for quite a while now. I should get back to it...starting tonite!!!

 

[SimonBrooke]

Thx Furry, Cutie, HarlotMinx and ur thread!!!

I agree with you all there. Depression makes one sinking into darker places, to be more hurt and making one in danger. Using physical means does not help if one is not able to cure oneself from the inside.
I realize that I have depression since I can remember. With 16 I have started to fight against it, and in 5 yrs I have changed from being depressed, non-talkative, loner, who hated oneself into someone, who is open, honest and I learned to like myself and not looking down on myself anymore. The past few months were great. I found my career path and worked on it. I want to be out going, so I went out to social events and love socializing. Although I have no interest in my degree anymore, I felt good about it that I will somehow finish it and will follow my career path then. I smiled a lot and it was just great.
But around one month ago it hit me and felt physically ache in my heart. I still believe in me what I have found and will approach it. There are two reasons mainly why everything started going down. My struggle with my degree is so great now, that I feel no matter how much I put in, I wont be able to finish it and do not have the urge to try. Secondly and main reason I believe is my ache for intimacy that I had since I can remember, that never got fulfilled, which I have been trying to search the last few months.
I am quite rational, so I do believe, if things are meant to happen it will. not sure, but in my opinion I don't think I need counseling, I do understand my depression. I guess mainly that it came back, it was because I am tried to push myself alone. I wanted just someone to hold me at night, just to feel that I am not pushing constantly. In the same time, I should believe in myself that I CAN push myself. Action is what is needed. So I just did my own timetable for tonite. Less thinking, more Doing. I do have a build of myself of who I actually can be, and will be working towards it. I do believe one can overcome oneself. It is hard to always show ones belief that it is possible. But damnit...I WILL FUCKING SHOW MYSELF THAT MY BELIEVES ARE TUE! I WILL CONQUERE MY SHELL, WHO I WAS AND BE WHO I AM FROM MY HEART AND SOUL!

sorry for babbling on...and compared to lots and lots of ppl this may sound like nothing. I guess it helps to say it again and again how I should motivate myself. Any idea are appreciated...or if you have diff opinion that I still should ask for help or such I am all ear, as I do like to understand social views.

but whatever ways...i think..i still like spanking!

I like spanking (doing it, not having it done to me!), and I get depressed, but I think in your case you should see these things - at least for now - as two separate things. People who are depressed are vulnerable, and when you're vulnerable is probably not a good time to get into a new relationship with someone who wants to hit you. Some doms are intelligent, thoughtful, mature, caring people, and some are just bullies who get off on hurting and controlling people. Now would not be a good time to tangle with one of the latter. My advice would be to get yourself in a good head space, and then find someone who will do dominance/submission play with you.

Getting yourself into a good place, that's another thing.

Firstly, your degree. In my second year at university I had a very bad breakdown. I was advised to intercalate - take a year out. It was very good advice. I spent a year getting myself back together, went back the next year and ultimately got myself first class honours. Go and find your tutor or counsellor or whatever you have at your university, and ask whether you can intercalate.

For the rest, I've been really struggling with depression for a couple of years. And now suddenly I've found the strength or resolution to turn myself round a bit. Here's some of the things that help:

It's spring. Human beings synthesise quite a lot of chemicals in our skin when exposed to sunlight, including significantly vitamin D. In modern societies, however, we don't get much of this, partly because we wear a lot of clothes, but mostly because we spend too much time indoors. It's beautiful out there just now. I had to go into town today, and the hills are just painted with the white of the blackthorn, the yellow of the whin, the pink of the wild cherries, the extraordinary green of the larches just exploding into leaf. In the hedgerows there are still daffodils, there are banks of violets, clusters of primroses, wood anemones, celandine... in the woods, carpets of bluebells are just about to burst into colour.

It's still not warm (at least not here in Scotland), but I find if you wear warm clothes on your body and a warm hat you can leave a lot of arm or leg bare without getting too cold. Go out there. Get some sun on your skin. Enjoy the freshness of the spring returning. That's step one.

Vitamin D is one factor in the war against depression. Another is simple old salt. There are good reasons to reduce salt in your diet - too much salt isn't good for your circulation. But salt is another factor; if you're trying to throw depression, a little extra salt in your diet in the short term is likely a good thing.

A friend who is experienced in these things has advised me to eat oily fish and has given me codliver oil capsules. Apparently it's also good (and I'm taking them religiously); she also gave me some vitamin D capsules, which, seeing we don't get that much sunlight and I'm indoors too much, I'm also taking.

Endorphins are good. You can get endorphins from any hard sustained exercise - yes, I know sex is good, but if you can't find the right person for sex, running or cycling or rowing are also good (and will get you toned, as well). I've been cycling. It works for me.

Finally, take charge of your appearance. Get yourself a haircut - not too radical, because you might hate that. wear clothes that make you feel attractive and cheerful.

Depression is a funny old thing; the brain works on itself, and is infinitely reflective. If you get yourself into a downward spiral it's easy to go down, but if you can get the spiral to turn the other way, that can be a feedback loop, too. It may only take surprisingly small things to turn you around.

And, best of luck.

 

[Adakgirl]

Although I have no interest in my degree anymore, I felt good about it that I will somehow finish it and will follow my career path then. I smiled a lot and it was just great.
But around one month ago it hit me and felt physically ache in my heart. I still believe in me what I have found and will approach it. There are two reasons mainly why everything started going down. My struggle with my degree is so great now, that I feel no matter how much I put in, I wont be able to finish it and do not have the urge to try. Secondly and main reason I believe is my ache for intimacy that I had since I can remember, that never got fulfilled, which I have been trying to search the last few months.

So you are saying that when working towards your degree got tough and you had to struggle with it, you became depressed again. Correct? Your feeling like no matter how much you put in, you won't be able to finish it is not a feeling at all, it is a negative thought process that is unreasonable, destructive and false. You can only gain by putting time and effort into it and the more you put into it the closer you will be to finishing it. You can and will finish it, you have the ability to do that and you believe that or you would not have begun it in the 1st place.

Of course there is the alternative choice, the easy way out. You can allow yourself to be overwhelmed by it, convince yourself you will never finish it, drop into the black pit of depression where all is safe, stop struggling towards your goal, make all the effort you have already put into it null and void..a waste...and gain nothing at all. Then you will really have something to be depressed about won't you? You can loath yourself again. You can add to your depression with the knowledge that you have failed.

 

[Adakgirl]

Also, your search for intimacy in order to gain fulfillment may be very disappointing and can certainly be depressing. We all have had periods in our lives where we lack the intimacy and physical contact we need. Sometimes that can last for years. If you are trying to get your degree, I suggest you set that need aside for right now and focus your energies on attaining your goal. Get a cuddly teddy bear or a kitten or a puppy instead and for gosh sakes finish what you started or your depression will only get worse.

 

[Adakgirl]

And personally, YES being Dominated along with being disciplined and punished...even only on-line and having to carry out punishments that I have to inflict upon myself...has helped my depression a great deal.

 

[Dreamy87]

I like spanking (doing it, not having it done to me!), and I get depressed, but I think in your case you should see these things - at least for now - as two separate things. People who are depressed are vulnerable, and when you're vulnerable is probably not a good time to get into a new relationship with someone who wants to hit you. Some doms are intelligent, thoughtful, mature, caring people, and some are just bullies who get off on hurting and controlling people. Now would not be a good time to tangle with one of the latter. My advice would be to get yourself in a good head space, and then find someone who will do dominance/submission play with you.

Yes thx! Iam not wondering about using d/s as a way out or searching a solution for my depression in that direction.

Getting yourself into a good place, that's another thing.

I think I am in a good place here in RL and here

Firstly, your degree. In my second year at university I had a very bad breakdown. I was advised to intercalate - take a year out. It was very good advice. I spent a year getting myself back together, went back the next year and ultimately got myself first class honours. Go and find your tutor or counsellor or whatever you have at your university, and ask whether you can intercalate.

I have not long to go, giving up now is stupid, although I do wish for a break, I will pull myself tgt and get through it!

For the rest, I've been really struggling with depression for a couple of years. And now suddenly I've found the strength or resolution to turn myself round a bit. Here's some of the things that help:

I am glad you got around it!!!

It's spring. Human beings synthesise quite a lot of chemicals in our skin when exposed to sunlight, including significantly vitamin D. In modern societies, however, we don't get much of this, partly because we wear a lot of clothes, but mostly because we spend too much time indoors. It's beautiful out there just now. I had to go into town today, and the hills are just painted with the white of the blackthorn, the yellow of the whin, the pink of the wild cherries, the extraordinary green of the larches just exploding into leaf. In the hedgerows there are still daffodils, there are banks of violets, clusters of primroses, wood anemones, celandine... in the woods, carpets of bluebells are just about to burst into colour.

It's still not warm (at least not here in Scotland), but I find if you wear warm clothes on your body and a warm hat you can leave a lot of arm or leg bare without getting too cold. Go out there. Get some sun on your skin. Enjoy the freshness of the spring returning. That's step one.

Thank you for the detailed explanation. I am definitely going out more now, I love the outdoors, even if I have to go out alone

Vitamin D is one factor in the war against depression. Another is simple old salt. There are good reasons to reduce salt in your diet - too much salt isn't good for your circulation. But salt is another factor; if you're trying to throw depression, a little extra salt in your diet in the short term is likely a good thing.

Definitely not eating much salt, I have reduced that ages ago...I was addicted to salt before!

A friend who is experienced in these things has advised me to eat oily fish and has given me codliver oil capsules. Apparently it's also good (and I'm taking them religiously); she also gave me some vitamin D capsules, which, seeing we don't get that much sunlight and I'm indoors too much, I'm also taking.

I am definitely not eating much fish, i was thinking about that a while ago...with omega and such.

Endorphins are good. You can get endorphins from any hard sustained exercise - yes, I know sex is good, but if you can't find the right person for sex, running or cycling or rowing are also good (and will get you toned, as well). I've been cycling. It works for me.

I used to run and cycle, but have knee problems now. Last week, i have decided to swim! It was great! I am going to continue!

Finally, take charge of your appearance. Get yourself a haircut - not too radical, because you might hate that. wear clothes that make you feel attractive and cheerful.

I recently got a haircut in HK..and dyed...I LOVE it! When I was young..I hated my appearance, but for some time now, I have learned to really like myself!!! clothes is still a bit of a problem, as I do not feel myself in them, but I do have a few I like

Depression is a funny old thing; the brain works on itself, and is infinitely reflective. If you get yourself into a downward spiral it's easy to go down, but if you can get the spiral to turn the other way, that can be a feedback loop, too. It may only take surprisingly small things to turn you around.

Yes, I agree...some times there are just small things, but again just small things can bring someone down. I think I can say, that I got out of the depression feeling now. It's still somewhere in the background, but I believe I will be back to how I was a few months back. I definitely won't lose. And anyways, why depressed if one can be happy even it s hard time!!!

And, best of luck.

Thank you for your detailed post.

 

[Dreamy87]

So you are saying that when working towards your degree got tough and you had to struggle with it, you became depressed again. Correct? Your feeling like no matter how much you put in, you won't be able to finish it is not a feeling at all, it is a negative thought process that is unreasonable, destructive and false. You can only gain by putting time and effort into it and the more you put into it the closer you will be to finishing it. You can and will finish it, you have the ability to do that and you believe that or you would not have begun it in the 1st place.

Of course there is the alternative choice, the easy way out. You can allow yourself to be overwhelmed by it, convince yourself you will never finish it, drop into the black pit of depression where all is safe, stop struggling towards your goal, make all the effort you have already put into it null and void..a waste...and gain nothing at all. Then you will really have something to be depressed about won't you? You can loath yourself again. You can add to your depression with the knowledge that you have failed.

Point taken!!! I am fully aware of this and still am in the middle...I manage to come from the depression stage, but still in the phase where I still need to push me for more action. I always have been pessimistic, a loner and 'follower', someone who let things go in a passive way. However I was able to work really hard, but that was for my parents. Doing things for myself I had to learn, when I realized that I wanna work for what I want and not for someone else. With 16 I have pushed myself to find and follow what I really want, and not to be like my parents (strong in their own way).
I manage now to be optimistic, open, and I love socializing! Sometimes I just find it hard to push myself alone. Although I realized that the person I was waiting for to pull me out of shell has to be me when I was 16. It is still hard to have all this energy to do so. I have to manifest this again, and keep going to who I really want to be. Sinking down is easy, I feel home there as I have live in my little black hole since young. BUT i have already reach this far, I will not go down ><

thx adakgirl to point this out to me!! really need to kick my ass!

 

[Dreamy87]

Also, your search for intimacy in order to gain fulfillment may be very disappointing and can certainly be depressing. We all have had periods in our lives where we lack the intimacy and physical contact we need. Sometimes that can last for years. If you are trying to get your degree, I suggest you set that need aside for right now and focus your energies on attaining your goal. Get a cuddly teddy bear or a kitten or a puppy instead and for gosh sakes finish what you started or your depression will only get worse.

*chuckles*...yes...I have been craving intimacy since I can remember...so what a few more months!!! I survived all those years...I can survive the next few months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thx again and cuddles!!!

 

[Dreamy87]

And personally, YES being Dominated along with being disciplined and punished...even only on-line and having to carry out punishments that I have to inflict upon myself...has helped my depression a great deal.

I remember...when I first found the forum..was actually here in BDSM. I chatted to a guy and he knew of my struggle. When he told me to do work, I actually did as I had to promise him. hmm...
I did think about looking for a woman dominating me, but never did and at some point I went off here, and just explored my sexuality on another thread.

have you got over your depression?

if not, I hope you are close to where you wanna be.

'why be depressed about something if you can see the bright side!'