the marks of a slave

[myinnerslut]

Oh, wait, I remember now, I had a question, sheesh memory of a goldfish on crack.... Anyway:

Is it a common theme - and part of the attraction to a Master - that they are someone who is fairly successful (financially, social status) and in a position of control and power in their everyday life?? Or can it work with someone who has a lowly life status but has power/control tendencies in their personal life??

as someone once said to Master, he reeks of dominance. there is absolutly no denying that he is in control. i see it and viv sees it, but its also the "vanillas" the girl walking down the hall sees it. the waitress at the restaurant sees it. of course they dont know what "it" is, but time and time again i have seen girls change their stance, speech patterns, etc without knowing why or even that they are. he just reeks of dominance.

he isnt an executive, or an coorporate worker. socially, he has a core group of friends, but isnt interested in social games or hierarchy. we are in a small house with four kids. finances become an issue.

but none of this affects the fact that he at his core, and rolling off of him in ways, is dominant as all get out.

dont let "life status" stand in the way of being who you are.

 

[Netzach]

as someone once said to Master, he reeks of dominance. there is absolutly no denying that he is in control. i see it and viv sees it, but its also the "vanillas" the girl walking down the hall sees it. the waitress at the restaurant sees it. of course they dont know what "it" is, but time and time again i have seen girls change their stance, speech patterns, etc without knowing why or even that they are. he just reeks of dominance.

he isnt an executive, or an coorporate worker. socially, he has a core group of friends, but isnt interested in social games or hierarchy. we are in a small house with four kids. finances become an issue.

but none of this affects the fact that he at his core, and rolling off of him in ways, is dominant as all get out.

dont let "life status" stand in the way of being who you are.

I react differently to someone who stands over 6 foot and self-describes as a "scary fucker" too. Some of those guys are as sub as the day is long, though, by the law of averages. It's a question of first impressions to a large degree.

M asked me why the fuck people stare at him, he's very self conscious about it. I had to explain to him that his degree of soothing pretty-about-the-face is just going to garner that.

This has no real bearing on whether Hommie's got that in-control vibe, it's more a commentary that pack animal stuff isn't always that important either.

The very milquetoast guy in the corner at the munch is sometimes the most evil.

Fuck, there's nothing about my kind of dull rounded self that claims what I'm into or capable of.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Oh, wait, I remember now, I had a question, sheesh memory of a goldfish on crack.... Anyway:

Is it a common theme - and part of the attraction to a Master - that they are someone who is fairly successful (financially, social status) and in a position of control and power in their everyday life?? Or can it work with someone who has a lowly life status but has power/control tendencies in their personal life??

My Master is climbing his career totem pole (liberally greased by the credit crunch) but we are both in our 20s and until last year he was self employed. This means that many of the people he graduated from uni with are farther along their career path than he is. In addition, he has recently come out of a period of ill health that lasted the better part of a year. Regardless of that, financial success and social status are not indicators of emotional maturity, integrity or capability. I will not respect Master more if he is selected for management training or promoted to his company's senior team.

Master has the same aura that MIS described in Homburg but with my Master it ebbs and flows. He is tall and broad shouldered so as Netz put it, he'd look like a 'scary fucker' to a casual observer even if he was a natural submissive. On a good day, he radiates a self assured alpha vibe. On bad days he can be awkward, quiet and unassuming. He has self esteem issues and has battled with depression but that doesn't cancel out his natural dominant streak. By the same token, I have good slave days and PMT fuelled, sammy assed rebellious days. We're none of us perfect and I think that where many novice (and some more experienced) lifestylers fall down is that they strive for a kind of 'true BDSM' utopian dream that simply does not exist in real life and long term relationships.

Master has the good grace to love and cherish me despite my failings and he deserves the same respect and understanding from me. Dominance is a mindset, not a demographic or social strata.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

dont let "life status" stand in the way of being who you are.

Quoted for truth.

As an example, and I'm sure they won't mind me mentioning them, Bandit58 is pyl to Gil_T2. Gil has chronic renal failure and requires dialysis every few days, which Bandit is now trained to do for him. He is not able to work and he is limited in what he's up to doing between dialysis sessions. Bandit cares for him diligently and despite the fact that she is his carer, she also remains his pyl. To my mind, power exchange relationships like that are as intrinsic as sexuality. Chronic renal failure does not affect Gil's dominance. To suggest that chronic ill health and unemployment render a PYL less dominant is like suggesting that it renders him less heterosexual. It's an intrinsic part of his sexual make-up.

I hope I'm making sense here.

 

[Shalrath]

I see. Yes that's what I'm getting at, I might have not phrased the question well. There are many ways that a person can be "dominant" (e.g. alpha-whatever although I hate that term) in their public life. From money to class to success to position toto physique to presence/aura to self-control to ability-to-control-others to whatever. I was wondering if this was a common theme in the public life of those who.....you slaves have chosen to dominate you in your private life.

(Incidentally my stance sometimes changes when I'm faced with a dominant personality....it changes to disinterest and poker-faced-blandness. Unless that dominant person is a member of law enforcement Aside from that, they are only human....)

Edit: Cheers VD, that's a different perspective, interesting.

 

[BiBunny]

There are lots of ways to be dominant.

Master is tall, over 6', heavyset, with broad shoulders and strong arms and hands. He's also an exceptional marksman and with a quiet, easygoing manner and a penetrating stare.

He asked me one day while he was at work, "Why do people think I'm intimidating?"

I was like, "Um, that'd be because you are."

"I don't mean to be," he said. I just laughed. He's really a teddy bear once you get to know him, but he does come off as sort of intimidating.

He was recently laid off, but he's held non-office managerial-type jobs for the past several years. He enjoys leading people, particularly in the kind of setting where he can be the hands-on kind of leader he likes to be.

Mistress is short (bless her heart), bubbly, and energetic and outgoing to the extreme. People just seem to gravitate to her. (She's my exact opposite in this regard.) She's a healer and a helper, totally warm and loving. But, in truth, she's even more of a control freak toward me than he is, LOL. (God, I hope he never finds out I said that.)

They're a lot different, both in their personalities and in their "styles" of dominance, I guess you could say. She's detail-oriented; he isn't. But they both tolerate me for some reason completely unbeknownst to me, and that's all I can ask for.

 

[Homburg]

I agree, Homburg. And I value your perspective. Since my kids were born, though, I have preferred stories with "happy endings," both in fact and fiction.

I dunno. I'm not all that big on happy endings still. I just want compelling stories. Might not be the best tack, but it is the one I'm on.

I can see the impact my parents' mistakes had on me. And I can see the impact my mistakes have had on my kids. I can forgive my parents. And I can forgive myself. I can even envision a more wholesome future, and take the actions that will lead us there.

But wholesome and the kind of sex I like don't always get used in the same phrase. Am I kidding myself to think that it is possible to have a "wholesome M/s relationship?"

When I'm in the middle of the forest, I often get lost in the trees.

When MIS read this (shoulder-surfing me) she said "Our relationship is wholesome, right?" I dunno. I think wholesome is predicated on whether a given relationship is wholesome for those in it, and thus helping them to be wholesome to those around them.

--

especially when every spiritual path advises us to move towards godliness

maybe the ancients had it right. . . maybe having imperfect gods is the answer

This. Imperfect gods are far better.

--

I react differently to someone who stands over 6 foot and self-describes as a "scary fucker" too. Some of those guys are as sub as the day is long, though, by the law of averages. It's a question of first impressions to a large degree.

I'm only 5'11".

 

[Bandit58]

Quoted for truth.

As an example, and I'm sure they won't mind me mentioning them, Bandit58 is pyl to Gil_T2. Gil has chronic renal failure and requires dialysis every few days, which Bandit is now trained to do for him. He is not able to work and he is limited in what he's up to doing between dialysis sessions. Bandit cares for him diligently and despite the fact that she is his carer, she also remains his pyl. To my mind, power exchange relationships like that are as intrinsic as sexuality. Chronic renal failure does not affect Gil's dominance. To suggest that chronic ill health and unemployment render a PYL less dominant is like suggesting that it renders him less heterosexual. It's an intrinsic part of his sexual make-up.

I hope I'm making sense here.

Thanks velvet You said it perfectly

An example of Sir's dominance, not just over me:
A few years ago He was in hospital when a patient in the next bed, who was confused and loopy on his meds, attacked one of the nurses. Sir went over to him and told him to get back into bed NOW or there would be trouble. Keep in mind that Sir wasn't as well as He usually is, but there must have been something in the tone of voice and look on His face that made the guy retreat meekly back to his bed.

The power exchange here ebbs and flows according to Sir's health, but He's still the Dom even when He's attached to a dialysis machine or not feeling very crash hot. Sometimes I have to be the one making the decisions, like if and when to call an ambulance or go to the hospital for help, or how much medication or insulin is needed.

I have more money than He does. I'm still the sub

 

[intothewoods]

I look forward to hearing what the word slave means to you.

There are no rules, you know.

I still find it fascinating that our relationship only makes sense using terms like "master" and "slave." The nature of the relationship hasn't changed fundamentally. We're just nicer to each other, now. Weird, hunh?

And it doesn't mean we don't have our doubts and troubles. We're just nicer to each other while we go through them.

Maybe it helps having some kind of "form" to live in. Maybe it helps us feel more comfortable about our deeper (shall I say "darker") selves.

I know it makes me try harder to please him. Which makes me pay closer attention to him. Which makes me see him more clearly. Which improves our communication. Which makes it (sometimes) easier to be together.

It also makes me less likely to focus on "what I'm not getting." Like, particular kinds of attention that I think I need.

I hope you will post here, intothewoods, as you explore the meaning of these words. I'd love to hear how they express themselves in the "stuff" of your lives. Or how they don't. We'll all learn from your experience.

Heh heh. I'm still not comfortable with that word. Our relationship does bring things into focus in some way. I tend to do a lot of over-analyzing and this sometimes helps me just be.

I agree, Homburg. And I value your perspective. Since my kids were born, though, I have preferred stories with "happy endings," both in fact and fiction.

I can see the impact my parents' mistakes had on me. And I can see the impact my mistakes have had on my kids. I can forgive my parents. And I can forgive myself. I can even envision a more wholesome future, and take the actions that will lead us there.

But wholesome and the kind of sex I like don't always get used in the same phrase. Am I kidding myself to think that it is possible to have a "wholesome M/s relationship?"

When I'm in the middle of the forest, I often get lost in the trees.

Mistakes

I'm an addict, an advanced practitioner of a variety of techniques of denial, blame, evasion, rationalization and self-destruction.

So what do I do? I take the kind of thoughts expressed in your first post (like "I'm not as bad as those other mothers") and use them, at least temporarily, to justify turning my head away.

Then the initial problem escalates to crisis. And the consequences of my denial are played out in my son's behavior at school. I cannot deny, but I can blame. I blame others, who may or may not listen to my frightened anger. And I blame myself, who always listens.

And then, because I really was in denial. And rationalizing the petty signs of trouble with grandiose ideas and self-congratulation (on what a good mother I was, at heart). I then vowed to tattoo the nature of my mistakes in the center of my mind's eye, so that I would not forget. And be doomed to repeat the bad habits of dysfunctional families and irresponsible adults.

Which leads to the creation of a guilt complex that filters every perception with its self-chastising hues. And once again, my vision is not clear.

The pendulum swings from one extreme to the other. And as it swings through time, I do count on finding equilibrium again, with a deeper (though perhaps still flawed) understanding of "what's really going on."

But see things from a moment from my perspective. I live a double life. Our community views me as a wonderful, caring mother, and entrusts their children to my care. And at heart I am.

But what if I told them that I was a "sex slave?" Many of them would be titillated and want the sordid details. But all of them would rethink their notion of me. And my children's behavior, less than perfect, and sometimes downright troubled, would be attributed to the shadow I am casting.

It isn't necessarily being a "slave" that is the problem (though sometimes I wonder), it's being an addict - and if I am using my position as "slave" to feed an addiction - then the wonderful array of behaviors follow - the denial, the rationalizations, the blame, and the guilt.

I've been thinking lately that I need to find a kink-friendly therapist to help me work through some of these issues. (But I don't usually trust therapists - they're often crazier than I am.)

And I look at some of the fresh-faced lovely young women who are currently evaluating my son, and who I do trust with his well-being, and know that if I told them the truth about my relationship, I would be the one in treatment. . .

This is what bothers me.

This is really tough, compelling stuff, easternsun, but it's hard for me to form an opinion without knowing the details. I can see why you wouldn't want to go into specifics, of course. It is obvious you care about your kids and consider their welfare. For myself, the nature of D/s relationships does give me pause. Sometimes something sort of slips out - nothing sexually explicit and always what could have double meaning and be laughed off as playful - but I wonder about his impressions. We are their models (but not their only models) for love relationships.

 

[eastern sun]

Oh, wait, I remember now, I had a question, sheesh memory of a goldfish on crack.... Anyway:

Is it a common theme - and part of the attraction to a Master - that they are someone who is fairly successful (financially, social status) and in a position of control and power in their everyday life?? Or can it work with someone who has a lowly life status but has power/control tendencies in their personal life??

Before I knew the term "dominance," I used the word "virility" to describe this aspect of my husband. or any other man to whom I was attracted. "Dominance" is more gender neutral (though i have met some virile women ).

It's a kind of strength and energy and sexual presence. And, in my own case, I have discovered if a man is "too nice" to me or too "soft" at the core, I am grateful for their kindness, but lose interest sexually.

This may be the New York in me, but I like the trappings of social power. I get a thrill just to find out that the anonymous play partner I'm about to meet has a resume written all through the newspapers. It opens doors into the city that are not regularly open to me.

I had one partner who would hand his business card to the maitre'd of a crowded restaurant or club saying "I know I should have called ahead" and, in a rush of whispered fluster, "oh, no problem sir, it will just take a moment, if you'd like to check your coats," a choice table would suddenly become available. (I always liked the look on the maitre'd's face, the subservience directed our way, and the totally casual response of my friend who acted like it was the most natural thing in the world for everything to bend in his direction when he walked into a room.)

On the other hand, social power and money are not necessarily indicators of sexual dominance.

I have met construction workers and garbagemen who live so completely in their bodies that their "virility" glistens like sweat in every movement. And the culture of masculinity they work in colors their attitudes towards women. I also love the biker clubs, and would have married the early love of life if we both didn't drink so goddamned much.

(I'm having such a good time thinking about the people who turn me on, I forgot to answer the original question.)

Of all of these men, the one I chose as a Master is the one who balances all these factors. Enough social power and money to feel confident without making it the pinnacle of life. Enough athleticism and physical presence to send me reeling. A tremendous sense of humor. And most importantly, the one I trust the most.

I'm not that willing to give up power for more than an afternoon or evening, if I don't know that we share the same fundamental values and goals. That by pursuing his desires, I'll ultimately come closer to achieving my own. That he'll prioritize my health and well-being over his own whims when it deep down counts.

I know he'll keep us safe, whether it's the world outside or our own actions that threaten us. I also know that he won't give up on me when I fail him, any more than I would give up on him.

And that has nothing at all to do with social power or money. That has to do with character.

 

[eastern sun]

When MIS read this (shoulder-surfing me) she said "Our relationship is wholesome, right?" I dunno. I think wholesome is predicated on whether a given relationship is wholesome for those in it, and thus helping them to be wholesome to those around them.

I agree, Homburg.

The idea of stories with "happy endings" and "wholesomeness" go together in my mind. And honestly, for most of my youth I thought "wholesome" = "phony/false happiness"

I looked it up in the dictionary yesterday - Wholesome 1. conducive to or suggestive of good health and physical well-being. 2. conducive to or promoting moral well-being.

I had taken the t.v. images of my childhood, compared them to my own family, and come up with my personal definition of "wholesome." In much the same way as my early concepts of "square" mainstream lifestyles = "being a chump"

Maybe today I need to rediscover the very concept of wholesomeness. Especially as it applies to our relationship and family.

 

[intothewoods]

I don't see natural dominance. Virility is a great word. Brute strength and raw masculinity are something. In F-Dommes, there's a whole other range of things that translate to power and dominance. Sometimes it's just sexual prowess.

 

[Netzach]

Before I knew the term "dominance," I used the word "virility" to describe this aspect of my husband. or any other man to whom I was attracted. "Dominance" is more gender neutral (though i have met some virile women ).

It's a kind of strength and energy and sexual presence. And, in my own case, I have discovered if a man is "too nice" to me or too "soft" at the core, I am grateful for their kindness, but lose interest sexually.

This may be the New York in me, but I like the trappings of social power. I get a thrill just to find out that the anonymous play partner I'm about to meet has a resume written all through the newspapers. It opens doors into the city that are not regularly open to me.

I had one partner who would hand his business card to the maitre'd of a crowded restaurant or club saying "I know I should have called ahead" and, in a rush of whispered fluster, "oh, no problem sir, it will just take a moment, if you'd like to check your coats," a choice table would suddenly become available. (I always liked the look on the maitre'd's face, the subservience directed our way, and the totally casual response of my friend who acted like it was the most natural thing in the world for everything to bend in his direction when he walked into a room.)

See, the thrill I got from having that kind of character on his knees licking my toes and paying me for the privilege is the best biggest cheap boner on some levels. I'm glad I don't live in that land, but I'm glad I visited it. That dichotomy was so delicious that I really didn't care about the falseness of the moment or the theatricality.

And the frequency with which this variation occurs is staggering. This notion that vitality, social power, and sexual Dominance are hitched at the hip - no. From where I sit, secrets and contrasts are the norm.

What's interesting to me in the SM world is that we're constantly hammering one another when it comes to femsubs with "I'm not a doormat, I have 87 degrees I'm a corporate raider and I'm his bitch alone!" But we still imagine every msub to be an unmuscled and soft dingbat living in his mom's basement.

 

[JMohegan]

I don't see natural dominance. Virility is a great word. Brute strength and raw masculinity are something. In F-Dommes, there's a whole other range of things that translate to power and dominance. Sometimes it's just sexual prowess.

Chalking it up to love goggles, I usually think it's sort of sweet when an s talks about how his/her D just oozes dominance.

If a D says that about him/herself, I just start laughing.

Fact is: one person's oozing Dominant comes off as a bully or bitch to a second person, an obnoxious social incompetent to a third, a charismatic or virile but non-kinky hottie to a fourth, just some random, unremarkable guy or female hanging out in the room to a fifth, and so on.

Dominance is a construct that depends on a counterpart in order to exist. Some people respond one way to any given persona; others just don't.

Shifting subjects, to address the *desire* to control, or dominate - I do think that's a natural, or innate, trait in most cases. Or at least, the nature/nurture factors are so intertwined as to be indistinguishable.

Regardless, the key point is that desire and achievement aren't always the same thing.

 

[nh23]

It's a kind of strength and energy and sexual presence. And, in my own case, I have discovered if a man is "too nice" to me or too "soft" at the core, I am grateful for their kindness, but lose interest sexually.

.

I'm the same exact way, only it's not just the sexual interest I lose. I also lose interest in the relationship. I feel out of sorts when a partner is really nice to me all the time. It can ruin the whole relationship for me.

 

[BiBunny]

I'm the same exact way, only it's not just the sexual interest I lose. I also lose interest in the relationship. I feel out of sorts when a partner is really nice to me all the time. It can ruin the whole relationship for me.

I think, in a lot of ways, in the ways that I relate to people, I am still a child. Yes, I know, that's the most un-PC thing ever to say if you're a submissive woman, but whatever.

I am overly sensitive to things, and I'm bad about withdrawing into my shell when things get too tough for me. My mother, all through my life, has alternated between spoiling me (I'm an only child) and being cold, capricious, and cruel. Many times, I felt as if I were the adult, and she were the child.

I can't tolerate that in a partner. It makes me too nervous, too fearful, too insecure. I can understand, intellectually, how someone would desire that kind of thrill ride.

But in practice, I have to have someone consistent, someone who, 9 times out of 10, I can predict how that person will react to any given situation. I lived most of my life walking on eggshells and feeling as if nothing at all was in my control, like everything that happened to me was because of external forces. I will not live that way now. The idea of serving someone who's no more in my mind than a spoiled child makes feel nauseated.

There you have it--the control freak pet.

 

[intothewoods]

Chalking it up to love goggles, I usually think it's sort of sweet when an s talks about how his/her D just oozes dominance.

If a D says that about him/herself, I just start laughing.

Fact is: one person's oozing Dominant comes off as a bully or bitch to a second person, an obnoxious social incompetent to a third, a charismatic or virile but non-kinky hottie to a fourth, just some random, unremarkable guy or female hanging out in the room to a fifth, and so on.

Dominance is a construct that depends on a counterpart in order to exist. Some people respond one way to any given persona; others just don't.

Shifting subjects, to address the *desire* to control, or dominate - I do think that's a natural, or innate, trait in most cases. Or at least, the nature/nurture factors are so intertwined as to be indistinguishable.

Regardless, the key point is that desire and achievement aren't always the same thing.

Well, I suppose our personality traits are all natural. It's more that I take issue with describing socially virile/bossy/powerful/asshole/God-like/whatever PYLs as naturally dominant, as if those PYLs who do not present themselves a certain way are either lesser than or studying up at night to make a go at the whole dominance thing or something.

 

[JMohegan]

Well, I suppose our personality traits are all natural. It's more that I take issue with describing socially virile/bossy/powerful/asshole/God-like/whatever PYLs as naturally dominant, as if those PYLs who do not present themselves a certain way are either lesser than or studying up at night to make a go at the whole dominance thing or something.

Right. This is my point, exactly.

 

[nh23]

I think, in a lot of ways, in the ways that I relate to people, I am still a child. Yes, I know, that's the most un-PC thing ever to say if you're a submissive woman, but whatever.

I am overly sensitive to things, and I'm bad about withdrawing into my shell when things get too tough for me. My mother, all through my life, has alternated between spoiling me (I'm an only child) and being cold, capricious, and cruel. Many times, I felt as if I were the adult, and she were the child.

I can't tolerate that in a partner. It makes me too nervous, too fearful, too insecure. I can understand, intellectually, how someone would desire that kind of thrill ride.

But in practice, I have to have someone consistent, someone who, 9 times out of 10, I can predict how that person will react to any given situation. I lived most of my life walking on eggshells and feeling as if nothing at all was in my control, like everything that happened to me was because of external forces. I will not live that way now. The idea of serving someone who's no more in my mind than a spoiled child makes feel nauseated.

There you have it--the control freak pet.

*nods* For myself if I can predict how he will react the majority of the time I get bored. I like being afraid of how he will react to things...lol. I think the emotional masochist part of me gets off on the feelings of fear and insecurity.
Good to see ya chickie. I miss you a ton, been trying to catch you on yahoo, but never seem too.

 

[Netzach]

I do better in M/s D/s things with an nh than a Bunny. No slights intended. I find that the majority of people are in the Bunny camp, too.

 

[eastern sun]

Even when I'm full of doubt and apprehension, I am still a slave. Just not a very good one.

 

[Albee]

Even when I'm full of doubt and apprehension, I am still a slave. Just not a very good one.

Then maybe you shouldn't judge yourself so harshly. You're judgements are usually good, and your motivations sincere. Really, what the fuck?

Speaking of fucking...pm me.

 

[gypsy*seer]

Ah. The exuberance of youth. (she smiles and sighs wistfully) How things change as we grow older and the house fills with kids. . .

We married in our mid-twenties.

Just around that time, he caught me reading porn in a small-town train station. This was in the days before the internet . . . and I found this blank brown paperback on the magazine rack with the most sordid stuff I'd ever seen.

We sat side-by-side in hard plastic chairs, reading silently together, as his arm moved across my shoulder and his hand dropped onto my breast and my fingers tightened their grip on his thigh. All of a sudden, he took the book away from me and led me outside.

There, in broad daylight, in back of the station, he pulled down my jeans, and fucked me, hard, as I leaned against a stack of crates that threatened to fall over.

I remember turning my head and watching a train come down the tracks. A switchman running out to push the lever. How bright the sun was. How bare my ass felt.

For a moment I caught a glimpse of what we might look like from the train. The cock of my hips as I tried to stay balanced, one of his hands on my hips, one hand in my hair.

It was so fucking hot I couldn't believe it was part of my marriage.

I thought marriage was something staid and formal. Something orderly and stable. Not this wild . . . stolen . . . in-your-face moment.

As vulnerable as I felt, though, I also felt safe. We were tucked into the background. Camouflaged by the junk around us. I trusted this crazy mother-fucker.

We'd already decided by then that we were together until death, and I remember thinking it would be one helluva ride.

And now, more than twenty years later, our life together is orderly and stable, with steady jobs and PTA meetings, decisions we made for the benefit of the kids.

But I'm still getting fucked behind the train station when he steps into our bedroom and I realize he's got something in mind that I can't predict, and don't want to.

Thank you, VelvetDarkness, for sharing your day with us.

I know this post is old, but thank you Eastern Sun. I am new to the BDSM world, and this thread is recommended reading for me from J. It's very enlightening, sensitive, and beautifully written.
I'm trying to interpret my own inner feelings, and am learning to understand the way he see's things.
I think by reading your musings, I get a better idea of how the Master/slave dynamic works.
Looking forward to more...
Thanks!

 

[eastern sun]

I know this post is old, but thank you Eastern Sun. I am new to the BDSM world, and this thread is recommended reading for me from J. It's very enlightening, sensitive, and beautifully written.
I'm trying to interpret my own inner feelings, and am learning to understand the way he see's things.
I think by reading your musings, I get a better idea of how the Master/slave dynamic works.
Looking forward to more...
Thanks!

Thank you, gypsy*seer.

Sometimes I think "giving up" is the first meaningful step we take.

I'll be curious to learn what you discover.

 

[eastern sun]

"I love you, slave," he finally said to me the other day.

I have waited for years to hear those words.

Even though I get turned on when he calls me names (especially if he's grabbing my hair) . . . if I could choose . . . I'd rather hear "I love you slave" than "you know you love it, you fucking slut" on most days of the week.

How are things going, BiBunny?