Kapoosta

[cantdog]

I am inspired by this Ukraine dish we tried this evening. You could smell the cabbage on the porch, before you opened the door. Please be advised that I don't know how it's actually spelled.

My girl made a pot of kapoosta
It isn't a dish that we're used ta
But I think I'm becoming a boosta
Ukrainian food is the shit!

The smell of kapoosta is savage
I nearly signed up for re-habbage
"There is nothing that's not made with cabbage."
Ukrainian food is the shit!

A ca
Bage and
A prune,
Pork you can cut with a spoon
A he
Ritage
of doom
Ukrainian food is the shit!

 

[cantdog]

It's supposed to be sung to the Mexican Hat Dance.

 

[cloudy]

Your creativity captivates me.

 

[cantdog]

Wanna hear another one?

Making up songs to existing music is just fun. A carful of english majors with proper motivation (that is, someone to mock) can crank 'em out in five minutes, brainstorming, on the way to the sandwich store in Atkinson, for instance.

Tune: Gloria


Angels we have heard on high
Sweetly singing o'er the plain
And the mountains, in reply:
"Jesus Christ, that shit again!"


chorus:
F-a-ah-ah-ah--ah-ah--a-ah-
....ah-ah--ah-ah--a-ah-
....ah-ah--ah-kin chicken pie!
Fuckin chicken pi-ie!
F-a-ah-ah-ah--ah-ah--a-ah-
....ah-ah--ah-ah--a-ah-
....ah-ah--ah-kin chicken pie!
Fuckin chicken pi-i-ie!


Marching through the flies and swill
Comes our cook. Her name is Lil.
Ask her what we have today
She will smile and sweetly say:

--repeat chorus--


Listen as you pour your milk
To the voice as soft as silk!
Hilma Bradford, cordon bleu
Made this horseshit just for you:

--repeat chorus--

 

[cantdog]

What's the difference between chicken fricassee and chicken pie?

About two days. [*rimshot*]

 

[cloudy]

A friend and I used to make up our own lyrics to country songs, and then sing them in this horrible parody of a country twang.

The one I remember the most we made up when I was extremely pissed at my then boyfriend. It's sung to the tune of "Rock My Baby," by Shenandoah (video here if you've never heard it).

The actual words of the chorus are:

I’m going home and rock my baby
Just thinkin' 'bout her is making me crazy
All day long I've been dreamin' of holdin' her tight
Yeah, it's gonna be a sweet surrender
Candlelight and love me tender
I’m going home and rock my baby tonight

If the roses and the candy do the trick
tomorrow I may have to call in sick

The words I came up with that night (and it's scary how easily they came to mind) were:

I'm going home and shoot my baby
Just thinkin' 'bout him is making me crazy
All day long I've been dreamin' of wringing his neck
Yeah, it's gonna be a sweet surrender
I wonder if his head would dent my fender
I'm going home and shoot my baby tonight

If the arsenic in his coffee does the trick
at least it'll make him really sick

 

[Guest]

What's the difference between chicken fricassee and chicken pie?

About two days. [*rimshot*]

 

[cantdog]

A friend and I used to make up our own lyrics to country songs, and then sing them in this horrible parody of a country twang.

The one I remember the most we made up when I was extremely pissed at my then boyfriend....

It's too much fun.

I made up a savage little ditty about my brother the day I heard he'd become a pastor. His name is in it, so I can't post it here. Pity, really. We shall have to sing it around the woodstove, tightly toasted, some fine evening.

Or, yannow, at a Lit-Together somewhere.

 

[Guest]

It's too much fun.

I made up a savage little ditty about my brother the day I heard he'd become a pastor. His name is in it, so I can't post it here. Pity, really. We shall have to sing it around the woodstove, tightly toasted, some fine evening.

Or, yannow, at a Lit-Together somewhere.

Imagine that.

 

[shereads]

It's supposed to be sung to the Mexican Hat Dance.

I sang iit to "Comfortably Numb." That works too.

 

[Dragonlipz]

The bikini barista at the expresso stand

Sings:

It was an itsy-bitsy
teeny weeny
yellow polka-dot bikini
that I wore for the first time today

 

[Guest]

I sang iit to "Comfortably Numb." That works too.

A woman who truly knows her music.

 

[midwestyankee]

What's the difference between chicken fricassee and chicken pie?

About two days. [*rimshot*]

If at first you don't fricassee, fry, fry a hen.

 

[DesertPirate]

If at first you don't fricassee, fry, fry a hen.

*Snerk, Spew*

 

[tickledkitty]

Cant? I swear I saw you Thursday night. I remember hugging you. Then you were never to be seen again.

Anyhoo, this made me laugh. You'd be a big hit in this house. We're always making up songs.