Rant Rant Rant!

[KillerMuffin]

Organism is not the same thing as orgasm.

No, seriously dude. If, you're licking your woman to organism, and then pounding her to organism after organism, then you'd better run down and get tested for STDs or check the meat from dinner for botulism or e. coli or salmonella (no, that's not a fish). Is she developing a yeast infection? Bacteria? Are you knocking her up with your tongue and then doing it again with the pounding? Triplets! Do you have no concept of how the whole thing works? You actually have to spooge in her for that to happen. Is there some reason you've decided that calling her a woman isn't as sexy as calling her an organism?

Once, yeah typo, it happens. Every single time? Your consistent inability to spell orgasm means you're stupid.




Whew. I feel better.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Organism is not the same thing as orgasm.

No, seriously dude. If, you're licking your woman to organism, and then pounding her to organism after organism, then you'd better run down and get tested for STDs or check the meat from dinner for botulism or e. coli or salmonella (no, that's not a fish). Is she developing a yeast infection? Bacteria? Are you knocking her up with your tongue and then doing it again with the pounding? Triplets! Do you have no concept of how the whole thing works? You actually have to spooge in her for that to happen. Is there some reason you've decided that calling her a woman isn't as sexy as calling her an organism?

Once, yeah typo, it happens. Every single time? Your consistent inability to spell orgasm means you're stupid.




Whew. I feel better.

Great to see you back, wish you'd comment and write more.

Totally agree and it's not a rant - just exasperation.

 

[Guest]

Was the story in Fantasy & Sci-Fi? Maybe she has a symbiote.




Seriously, though, I sympathize with your frustration. Seems like some of the folks who post stories on this site can't actually read.

 

[Grimwald]

Her name was not Dax by any chance?

 

[scouries]

not you again!

It's no wonder you're not an organism who orgasms - you should try spending some time with a real man instead of those pathetic guys (dixie c lee and heavystick) who you lead around by their little waterpistols.

So, have you finally managed to get your BA?

I’m james r scouries and I’m a 100,000 view THREADMASTER…

[size=+2]Dolphins wonder why we ever let her into the club …[/size]

 

[CWatson]

Well, I'm glad to see you back, personally. =)

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Organism is not the same thing as orgasm.

No, seriously dude. If, you're licking your woman to organism, and then pounding her to organism after organism, then you'd better run down and get tested for STDs or check the meat from dinner for botulism or e. coli or salmonella (no, that's not a fish). Is she developing a yeast infection? Bacteria? Are you knocking her up with your tongue and then doing it again with the pounding? Triplets! Do you have no concept of how the whole thing works? You actually have to spooge in her for that to happen. Is there some reason you've decided that calling her a woman isn't as sexy as calling her an organism?

Once, yeah typo, it happens. Every single time? Your consistent inability to spell orgasm means you're stupid.

Whew. I feel better.

Anytime we can be of help, just drop by.

You've been missed.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Anytime we can be of help, just drop by.

You've been missed.

Rumple Foreskin

As always, the old dog says it best.

Come write some more.

 

[stevieraygovan]

A couple other pet peeves, besides "organism/orgasm"...

-A "chick flick" is not a teen sex movie with lots of gratuitous female nudity. A "chick flick" is "When Harry Met Sally," "P.S., I Love You" or "Pride & Prejudice." It stars Reese Witherspoon, not Carmen Electra. It's a sappy love story in which the female lead is the protagonist in what will usually be a formulaic romantic tear jerker.

-The area between a woman's legs is (crudely) called a "crotch," not a "crutch." A crotch smells wonderful, it tastes great and it makes me happy. A crutch is what people rely on to write cliche'd "Interracial" stories.

-Typos are one thing but would it be too much to ask to learn the difference betwen "you're/your" and "to/too/two"?

-I'm sorry, but no way in hell do two family members with absolutely no history of flirting or sexual intimacy with each other suddenly break through a lifetime of normal and perfectly valid emotional barriers and instantly set out to seduce each other just becase Bll The Son was caught masturbating in his room one morning by Mom The Divorcee. Same deal, with Stacy the cheerleader sister and Biff, the brother returning home from college during spring break. Again, virgin daughters don't instantly become Tera Patrick just because one morning they walk into the kitchen and dad is in his boxers, eating a bowl of cereal.

How about some half way realistic build up, people, please.

-Most lovers don't comment on every single action that takes place during intimacy.

Inane dialogue such as "That was a nice ass grab, Dad!" and "You're touching my nipple. I like it. Do you think you'll touch my nipple again?" make me want to kill.

Swear to god, I'm not even making those up.

 

[Boonter66]

KillerMuffin's post was a big smile. Made me want to find the story!

stevieraygovan's points are well taken, but there is an exception: The word "Crutch" (written and pronounced like the mobility assistance appliances) is commonly used in British English to describe the area between the legs as well as the area of clothing covering that area.

I'm currently working on a story with British characters and have been considering whether I should use the American word "crotch," or the British word "crutch." Interesting difference, but I'm concerned that most people would consider it a word error (as above) rather than an authenticator of the people and setting.

Happiness,

Boonter

 

[manyeyedhydra]

I'm currently working on a story with British characters and have been considering whether I should use the American word "crotch," or the British word "crutch." Interesting difference, but I'm concerned that most people would consider it a word error (as above) rather than a authenticator of the people and setting.

I'm fairly certain 'crutch' is still only a mobility support even in British English.

 

[sr71plt]

Collins, a British English dictionary widely used in publishing, third definition: groin, crotch.

At some point in a conversation, you might as well simply look it up in the dictionary.

 

[manyeyedhydra]

Collins, a British English dictionary widely used in publishing, third definition: groin, crotch.

At some point in a conversation, you might as well simply look it up in the dictionary.

Or I could use first hand experience as an actual British person and mention I've never heard crutch used in this way.

I was surprised to see it in the dictionary to be honest. I'm not sure how reflective it is of everyday use, which is the important thing if the intention is to use it in natural sounding dialogue/thought processes of British characters. I personally wouldn't use it, but this may simply be a regional/generational bias on my part.

I'll amend my "fairly certain" to "not heard of in my personal experience" if that makes you happier though.

 

[Guest]

Personal pet peeve: "Stoking" a cock.

I mean, most of us moved beyond coal-fired cocks YEARS ago!

 

[harrlequin]

Personal pet peeve: "Stoking" a cock.

I mean, most of us moved beyond coal-fired cocks YEARS ago!

*LMAO*

Good one. *huge grin*

They were so diiiirrty, weren't they? I love the nice new nuclear ones.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

-A "chick flick" is not a teen sex movie with lots of gratuitous female nudity. A "chick flick" is ... "Pride & Prejudice."

-The area between a woman's legs is (crudely) called a "crotch," not a "crutch." A crotch smells wonderful, it tastes great and it makes me happy. A crutch is what people rely on to write cliche'd "Interracial" stories.

stevieraygovan's points are well taken, but there is an exception: The word "Crutch" (written and pronounced like the mobility assistance appliances) is commonly used in British English to describe the area between the legs as well as the area of clothing covering that area.

I'm currently working on a story with British characters and have been considering whether I should use the American word "crotch," or the British word "crutch." Interesting difference, but I'm concerned that most people would consider it a word error (as above) rather than a authenticator of the people and setting. Boonter

I'm fairly certain 'crutch' is still only a mobility support even in British English.

Collins, a British English dictionary widely used in publishing, third definition: groin, crotch.

At some point in a conversation, you might as well simply look it up in the dictionary.

stevie, my Eng Lit prof would have had palpitations to have Jane Austen's classic described as a 'chick flick'.

'Crutch' is an alternative to 'crotch' that is perfectly correct in both American, British and Australian English and has exactly the same etymology. Both Webster's and the OED confirm this but I add the Merriam-Webster definition cos it's online.

1crutch

Pronunciation: \ˈkrəch\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English crucche, from Old English crycc; akin to Old High German krucka crutch

Date: before 12th century

1 a: a support typically fitting under the armpit for use by the disabled in walking b: prop , stay

2: a forked leg rest constituting the pommel of a sidesaddle

3: the crotch of a human being or an animal

4: a forked support

Both spellings are perfectly correct and sr was a bit rude - perhaps he's crotch-ety.

Edited to add: stevie 'crotch/crutch' is 100% non-crude. It is an accepted anatomical term.

 

[sr71plt]

stevie, my Eng Lit prof would have had palpitations to have Jane Austen's classic described as a 'chick flick'.

'Crutch' is an alternative to 'crotch' that is perfectly correct in both American, British and Australian English and has exactly the same etymology. Both Webster's and the OED confirm this but I add the Merriam-Webster definition cos it's online.

1crutch

Pronunciation: \ˈkrəch\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English crucche, from Old English crycc; akin to Old High German krucka crutch

Date: before 12th century

1 a: a support typically fitting under the armpit for use by the disabled in walking b: prop , stay

2: a forked leg rest constituting the pommel of a sidesaddle

3: the crotch of a human being or an animal

4: a forked support

Both spellings are perfectly correct and sr was a bit rude - perhaps he's crotch-ety.

Edited to add: stevie 'crotch/crutch' is 100% non-crude. It is an accepted anatomical term.

Oh, it's rude to suggest that writers consult a dictionary before ranting on the basis of what cousin Mavis told them?

I'll have to file that in the special file I have for such comments.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Oh, it's rude to suggest that writers consult a dictionary before ranting on the basis of what cousin Mavis told them?

I'll have to file that in the special file I have for such comments.

Ooh! Lighten up you old grizzly, I was just ruffling your fur to make a cheap pun. You were right, but a tad ungracious.

 

[sr71plt]

Ooh! Lighten up you old grizzly, I was just ruffling your fur to make a cheap pun. You were right, but a tad ungracious.

I reserve the right to be ungracious to "writers" who will turn to ask an anonymous poster on the Internet for guidance on something they can find in a dictionary. That seems more than a little idiotic to me, no matter how prevalent it is.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

I reserve the right to be ungracious to "writers" who will turn to ask an anonymous poster on the Internet for guidance on something they can find in a dictionary. That seems more than a little idiotic to me, no matter how prevalent it is.

OK, but did you know when cunt was the medical term for the vagina, that 'shape' was the terribly rude term for a lady's private parts. The reason English has become the lingua franca is our ability to bend with the wind to adopt neoligisms quickly.

 

[stevieraygovan]

ElfinOdalisque, a couple points here...

One, yes, compared to the endless better choices available to us to describe a woman's pelvic region the terms "crotch" or even "crutch" are decidedly crude and unflattering. This is especially true when we're talking about an erotica story, where the sole object in mentioning that part of her blessed anatomy is to paint as flattering an image as possible of her.

See, rarely in erotica are we reading a description of a 250 lb truck driving woman who spilled coffee in her lap. That's when the use of the term "crotch" is best suited.

Otherwise, in erotica, we're usually describing something a whole lot nicer.

Put it this way: The next time you write a story where you call your leading character's beautiful pussy her "crutch" will likely be the first time.



Secondly, your Eng Lit professor would've been talking about the actual book, not the movie. Most of the women who watched the movie were likely barely even aware it was based on a book. They just knew it was a cool movie to see with their girlfriends, all of them secretly imagining themselves being fucked as (or by) Keira Knightly, while all their boring boyfriends are watching football.

Here's another definition of a "chick flick"...

It's something only women will go see in pairs, or groups. No pair of (straight) men and certainly no group of (straight) men will ever go see such a flick.

Here are some other main criteria...

-Such a flick will inevitably include a "meet cute" scene

-There are people in powdered wigs and the men are wearing tights, yet the movie doesn't involve endless cannon fire, swashbuckling sword play (either of the metallic or fleshy sort) and copious amounts of gratuitous gore

-The lead ingenue has, or aspires to gain, a chamber maid

-New York's Central Park is ubiquitous as an uncredited main character

-Ditto, scenes of eating ice cream together on the Champs D'Elysee

-An idyllic scene involving the teary eyed viewing of either "La Dolce Vita" or "Breakfast At Tifanny's" appears somewhere in the flick

-The lead ingenue maintains a diary, and she's not named Anne Frank

-There's a spunky female best friend of Our Heroine, whose skepticism of Our Hero must first be
overcome before everyone can Live Happily Ever After

-There will be The Initial Furtive Revelation Of Their Love, followed soon thereafter by Moments Of Bliss, which will immediately foretell The Misunderstanding, Which Temporarily Fucks Up Everything, before we're finally treated to the Redemption Scene, wherein Our Hero says or does the one Previously Foreshadowed Thing that he needs to say or do in order to sweep Our Heroine off her feet, once and for all

Roll credits, to the accompaniment of a wonderfully sappy love ditty, and Our Couple once again is joined in a threesome by the eternal mating allure of Central Park.

 

[sr71plt]

OK, but did you know when cunt was the medical term for the vagina, that 'shape' was the terribly rude term for a lady's private parts. The reason English has become the lingua franca is our ability to bend with the wind to adopt neoligisms quickly.

No, I didn't know that.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

No, I didn't know that.

It is pretty new to me. The fact that cunt was a normal anatomical word until some effete Italian bloke invented 'vagina' (soldiers scabbard) to protect our dignity meant that 'shape' became polite and 'cunny' - well history tells its tale.

 

[sr71plt]

This is especially true when we're talking about an erotica story, where the sole object in mentioning that part of her blessed anatomy is to paint as flattering an image as possible of her.

Well, vanilla erotica, yes. Some try to write more interesting and "different" erotica, though.

 

[stevieraygovan]

sr71plt, if some people's attempts at writing "different" and "less vanilla" erotica involve dumbing it down to the point of using words like "crotch" or "crutch" when describing a pussy, well, thanks, but no thanks.

I don't need to read fuck stories written by Larry The Cable Guy.