Your Best Brainless Moments

[NALA CAYENNE]

Ok so last night I had one and Master thought it would be a good idea if I shared it with all you Litsters. I created a thread on it because I know I'm not the only one who has had a brainless moment and I figured now we all have a place to showcase our kink bloopers.

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Last night after Master was done playing with me, he told me to clean his cock (my glass dildo in this case), so I proceeded to do so. Well, I have an 8" glass dildo and Master wanted to know how much of it I was able to fit into my mouth. I replied 4". He told me that wasn't enough and that he wanted me to try to take more. I did. When he heard me gag, he was pleased with me and told me to stop.

Kink blooper: I explained to him that my dildo had about 2" of curvature on the end and that was the reason I couldn't take much more. He asked me if I had the curved end down because if so, it should have slid nicely down my throat. Low and behold, the curved end was up...doh!

I felt like such an idiot (and said this) because Master had to tell me the dildo was upside down

 

[WriterDom]

One morning I was scrambling eggs. I had a glass for the egg beside my coffee cup. I cracked the egg and dumped it in the coffee. But I had plenty of coffee left so no big deal.

 

[Keroin]

Far too many to list.

One of my favourites, though, happened in one of my first apartments. I wanted to sit my ghetto blaster (they were so huge back then) on the shelf of my Ikea book case but I hated the cord hanging so untidily over the edge. Long story short, I got the bright idea to cut a hole in the back of the book case but neglected to unplug the cord and, in my haste, sawed right into it. A shocking experience, to say the least.

Honestly, why I'm not dead after all the boneheaded maneuvers I've pulled in my life is far beyond my comprehension.

Back to work - good day all!

 

[Harmony_1985]

My best ones are mixing words up and I don't realise I've mixed them up until like a minute afterwards.

I once told the basket to get in it's dog and said to a beaver parent to stitch the sleeve onto his badge.

I'll go hide now.

 

[WriterDom]

My best ones are mixing words up and I don't realise I've mixed them up until like a minute afterwards.

I once told the basket to get in it's dog and said to a beaver parent to stitch the sleeve onto his badge.

I'll go hide now.

A beaver parent? We have beavers here but they don't talk.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

My best ones are mixing words up and I don't realise I've mixed them up until like a minute afterwards.

I once told the basket to get in it's dog and said to a beaver parent to stitch the sleeve onto his badge.

I'll go hide now.

Beavers can sew???

 

[Sir_Winston54]

A beaver parent? We have beavers here but they don't talk.

She didn't say the parent answered back, just that she had given it instructions.

 

[WriterDom]

They must be like cub scouts. I got kicked out of the cub scouts for eating Brownies.

 

[Harmony_1985]

They must be like cub scouts. I got kicked out of the cub scouts for eating Brownies.

Beaver scouts are the section below cub scouts in British Scouting.

I'm a leader of the section.

 

[mediocre]

Far too many to list.

One of my favourites, though, happened in one of my first apartments. I wanted to sit my ghetto blaster (they were so huge back then) on the shelf of my Ikea book case but I hated the cord hanging so untidily over the edge. Long story short, I got the bright idea to cut a hole in the back of the book case but neglected to unplug the cord and, in my haste, sawed right into it. A shocking experience, to say the least.

Honestly, why I'm not dead after all the boneheaded maneuvers I've pulled in my life is far beyond my comprehension.

Back to work - good day all!

And from you I was expecting....dated a penguin.

 

[intothewoods]

One morning I was scrambling eggs. I had a glass for the egg beside my coffee cup. I cracked the egg and dumped it in the coffee. But I had plenty of coffee left so no big deal.

Where does the dildo fit into this story?

 

[WriterDom]

Where does the dildo fit into this story?

Hi Ms. woods, you sweet thang you. Is it a best dildo moment thead? I don't read narry too good on a count of my poor southern edumacation.

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

Where does the dildo fit into this story?

ITW...shhhhh...*whispers* they're taking the focus away from the fact that Master had to give me instruction on the right way to turn the dildo

 

[WriterDom]

Well my kink blooper would be hitting this poor girl on the forehead with a spreader bar while she was blindfolded and sitting in the floor. It was our first time playing together and we had just begun. I guess I was excited. Had it in my hand, turned around and WHACK.

We got past it and she laughs about it now.

 

[graceanne]

My best ones are mixing words up and I don't realise I've mixed them up until like a minute afterwards.

I once told the basket to get in it's dog and said to a beaver parent to stitch the sleeve onto his badge.

I'll go hide now.

I routinely say 'almost only counts in hand shoes and horse grenades'.

They must be like cub scouts. I got kicked out of the cub scouts for eating Brownies.

*shakes head*

 

[Homburg]

Hi Ms. woods, you sweet thang you. Is it a best dildo moment thead? I don't read narry too good on a count of my poor southern edumacation.

*snort*

Laughed out loud at this one.

 

[Essene]

My best ones are mixing words up and I don't realise I've mixed them up until like a minute afterwards.

I once told the basket to get in it's dog and said to a beaver parent to stitch the sleeve onto his badge.

I'll go hide now.

Oh yeah!

My PYL (situational TOP/boyfriend - we pretty much play it that way, but he does like to switch on occasion)told me to talk dirty to him while performing acts on him. I think I said something like " I want your little prick in my great big cunt..." Or something to that effect so that I stopped what I was doing and started rolling around laughing.

I'm a total goober. Life shouldn't be too serious. Those moments which change the mood are sometimes a welcome relief.

 

[Harmony_1985]

Oh yeah!

My PYL (situational TOP/boyfriend - we pretty much play it that way, but he does like to switch on occasion)told me to talk dirty to him while performing acts on him. I think I said something like " I want your little prick in my great big cunt..." Or something to that effect so that I stopped what I was doing and started rolling around laughing.

During that same session I created so much suction with my mouth while performing fellatio, that he couldn't pull back in order to face fuck me. Initially I thought he might like me creating a load of suction, but he was stuck. He was really really stuck. The look of confusion and bewilderment on his face as he repeatedly tried to pull back was hilarious. I started laughing which broke the suction and he started laughing as well.

I'm a total goober. Life shouldn't be too serious. Those moments which change the mood are sometimes a welcome relief.

I'm TERRIBLE for mixing my words up, but the worst thing is I don't realise I've done it.

I think my mouth works faster than my brain does

 

[MisterSir]

I think my mouth works faster than my brain does

Don't be so surprised, I know mine does. That's why people think I don't have any tact, I don't stop to think about what I'm saying until it's out and I've just asked if the reason somebody's not drinking is because they're pregnant. Of ALL the possible reasons there could be, I pick the most offensive, I don't know.

 

[rinka]

I have them constantly...

A few months ago I was going to a party with my son. We were taking the train from where we've been living for the past nine years. It's a single track here and I do know what way the city is.... Nontheless I brainlessly enter the train going the other way a couple of minutes before the right train would come by.

I realize my mistake immediately, think maybe I can switch at the next stop where there are two tracks so the trains meet. But of course the train we wanted to be on left the platform as soon as ours came in. Still not thinking clearly, (I could have walked home, gone somewhere we could sit inside...)I randomly stay on the train a couple of stops, get out in the middle of nowhere so we had to wait outside in the snow and dark for half an hour....

Where I live. I have taken that train thousands of times.
I scare myself sometimes.

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

I've done this in NY visiting my aunt and I usually wind up at the stop that, while indoors and dry, its the one that is either the most deserted, or the one that has the most evil lurkers.

Needless to say after MANY years of doing this, I am no longer allowed to be unsupervised in NY...between that and the fact that I don't pay attention to my surroundings

I have them constantly...

A few months ago I was going to a party with my son. We were taking the train from where we've been living for the past nine years. It's a single track here and I do know what way the city is.... Nontheless I brainlessly enter the train going the other way a couple of minutes before the right train would come by.

I realize my mistake immediately, think maybe I can switch at the next stop where there are two tracks so the trains meet. But of course the train we wanted to be on left the platform as soon as ours came in. Still not thinking clearly, (I could have walked home, gone somewhere we could sit inside...)I randomly stay on the train a couple of stops, get out in the middle of nowhere so we had to wait outside in the snow and dark for half an hour....

Where I live. I have taken that train thousands of times.
I scare myself sometimes.

 

[graceanne]

I have them constantly...

A few months ago I was going to a party with my son. We were taking the train from where we've been living for the past nine years. It's a single track here and I do know what way the city is.... Nontheless I brainlessly enter the train going the other way a couple of minutes before the right train would come by.

I realize my mistake immediately, think maybe I can switch at the next stop where there are two tracks so the trains meet. But of course the train we wanted to be on left the platform as soon as ours came in. Still not thinking clearly, (I could have walked home, gone somewhere we could sit inside...)I randomly stay on the train a couple of stops, get out in the middle of nowhere so we had to wait outside in the snow and dark for half an hour....

Where I live. I have taken that train thousands of times.
I scare myself sometimes.

I do things like that ALL THE TIME. I'm the only person I know who can get turned around just blocks from my own house.

Once, when I was preggers with B, I had to take the bus to my doctors appointment. I don't know how, but I ended up in SW portland (at least 45 minutes from the doctors office). I called K to find out where I was, and he was like 'HOW THE HELL DID YOU END UP THERE?'. *shrugs*

K gets REALLY nervous if I'm in an area I don't know. LOL I could get lost in a bucket.

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

...K gets REALLY nervous if I'm in an area I don't know. LOL I could get lost in a bucket.

We must be neighbors, graceanne, because I can get lost in a paper bag

 

[graceanne]

We must be neighbors, graceanne, because I can get lost in a paper bag

LOL

Are you the one doing all the turn arounds?

If I pull into a parking lot one of the kids will say 'are we turning around, mom?'

I turn around so much that the kids KNOW what it looks like.

 

[WriterDom]

The grocery store isn't far. Sometimes I walk; sometimes I drive. Once I drove and forgot that I drove and walked home. Took a nap, woke up, and thought my car was stolen. Almost was ready to call the police when I saw my keys and remembered what I had done.