Distance Domination-Support Thread

[kittenartist]

It's not a three year tour then?

Nope. It is a two year tour with a three tour option. I think he could even opt to do four years. But basically after two years he has the option of changing bases -- most likely being rotated back stateside.

But I'm planing on a perminate residence. If I were in your shoes, I don't think I'd move either, if he had less than 2 years left anyway.

That is how I am feeling too. Of course, I am worried that going to visit him will just make me feel like it is impossible to live without him... I will remember why he fits so perfectly in my arms and in my life.

Heh. In case y'all could not tell I am all confused. I'd like to sleep for the next two years and wake up with him home so I did not have to worry about all this stuff anymore.

 

[myinnerslut]

moving is expensive

 

[the captians wench]

Nope. It is a two year tour with a three tour option. I think he could even opt to do four years. But basically after two years he has the option of changing bases -- most likely being rotated back stateside.




That is how I am feeling too. Of course, I am worried that going to visit him will just make me feel like it is impossible to live without him... I will remember why he fits so perfectly in my arms and in my life.

Heh. In case y'all could not tell I am all confused. I'd like to sleep for the next two years and wake up with him home so I did not have to worry about all this stuff anymore.

I think all of us can relate there.

Some times I wonder if visiting will end up being too much. The first visit, I spent a whole month battling depression and trying to get "back to normal". This time I'm spending a longer amount of time with him, and part of me wonders if it will just make it that much harder to leave him.

But if I ask myself "would you rather not see him at all" the answer is a very quick, stern "no". It will never be easy to leave him, and I don't even want it to get easier. The harder it is to part, the more getting me over there will be come priority.

 

[Homburg]

Nope. It is a two year tour with a three tour option. I think he could even opt to do four years. But basically after two years he has the option of changing bases -- most likely being rotated back stateside.

Option? What is this word of which you speak? "Option" and USMC are not things that tend to go together. Weird.

Anyway, if he is deploying the midst of it, I can reeeeally understand why you are reticent to move.

--

moving is expensive

It gets less expensive when you know a guy.

 

[kittenartist]

I think all of us can relate there.

Some times I wonder if visiting will end up being too much. The first visit, I spent a whole month battling depression and trying to get "back to normal". This time I'm spending a longer amount of time with him, and part of me wonders if it will just make it that much harder to leave him.

But if I ask myself "would you rather not see him at all" the answer is a very quick, stern "no". It will never be easy to leave him, and I don't even want it to get easier. The harder it is to part, the more getting me over there will be come priority.

Not seeing him again is definitely not an option. I honestly think I need to see him now. I think an impromptu flight is in order. Ugh. I just wish he could come home... He was suppose to be home a long time ago. Just a visit but still... I know I would be less confused if I could remember what it feels like to have him with me again.

Option? What is this word of which you speak? "Option" and USMC are not things that tend to go together. Weird.

Anyway, if he is deploying the midst of it, I can reeeeally understand why you are reticent to move.

*shrugs* He says he has the option. I trust him to know what he is talking about...

And yeah. He is likely to be deployed. Just because of where he is stationed and the job he preforms... Has a high deployment rate. I suppose it is not set in stone but yeah, very possible.

 

[Homburg]

*shrugs* He says he has the option. I trust him to know what he is talking about...

Oh, I believe you. Just sounds weird. Maybe the USMC is a different animal these days.

And yeah. He is likely to be deployed. Just because of where he is stationed and the job he preforms... Has a high deployment rate. I suppose it is not set in stone but yeah, very possible.

That would suck indeed.

 

[the captians wench]

Not seeing him again is definitely not an option. I honestly think I need to see him now. I think an impromptu flight is in order. Ugh. I just wish he could come home... He was suppose to be home a long time ago. Just a visit but still... I know I would be less confused if I could remember what it feels like to have him with me again.

I am fighting very hard to resist the temptation of booking a flight for my birthday and "dropping in" on him.

He doesn't like surprizes, and while I know he would be thrilled to see me, if this surprize ment that I wouldn't be able to visit in May, or would some how lessen my visit in some way, he would be majorly pissed.

SKL had better get her butt up here at some point durring my birthday week to keep me state side!

 

[Adakgirl]

I am going to butt in here and ask a question. Actually 4 questions.

Is this thread mainly for the support of LD D/s & M/s relationships wherein the the people involved in the LD relationships have the future intention of making them permanent? As well as for those who are just temporarily separated?

Or is it for the support of any and all LD relationships, regardless if the couple are ever going to be together physically? Or if they simply are not to the point of knowing that yet?

I hope I didn't muddle that up too much.

 

[minx1]

I would say its for all of those things

 

[ecstaticsub]

I am going to butt in here and ask a question. Actually 4 questions.

Is this thread mainly for the support of LD D/s & M/s relationships wherein the the people involved in the LD relationships have the future intention of making them permanent? As well as for those who are just temporarily separated?

Or is it for the support of any and all LD relationships, regardless if the couple are ever going to be together physically? Or if they simply are not to the point of knowing that yet?

I hope I didn't muddle that up too much.

I would say it is for any LDR. Daddy and I will never live in the same state, let alone the same house. Well, at least for as long as both of our marriages last. Which we both hope will last a lifetime. We love each other but respect each others vanilla marriage. So we do long distance and try to see each other every few months. It's worked for coming close to 4 years.

 

[Sexualinnocent]

LDR is very hard and we all need any support we can get.

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

I am going to butt in here and ask a question. Actually 4 questions.

Is this thread mainly for the support of LD D/s & M/s relationships wherein the the people involved in the LD relationships have the future intention of making them permanent? As well as for those who are just temporarily separated?

Or is it for the support of any and all LD relationships, regardless if the couple are ever going to be together physically? Or if they simply are not to the point of knowing that yet?

I hope I didn't muddle that up too much.

It's for everyone and anyone.

Even people who are just curious about LDRs and who may not even be in one.

 

[Adakgirl]

Alright, I guess it's time I join in then. Let me make myself clear from the start, I have only experienced D/s on-line. So I guess some would say I haven't ever REALLY experienced it at all. I'd have to agree, I realize and understand that r/l is completely different.
This is my opinion about that.
How I understand the basis of all D/s to be is this, it is about two or more people sharing a certain kind of powerful mentality together.
The mentality to be willing and able to submit themselves over to be Dominated by another.
and
The mentality to be willing and able to take control of that submission and Dominate over another.
Both have power and the exchange of that power feeds them and makes them content. It is necessary for their well being.

Dominant and submissive behavior is born in the brain, it resides there,
it learns there and all growth within it springs from the mind.
Everything else, the kinks, BDSM top/bottom play, comes from that one basic source. The relationship itself is the rock that the root grows out of and BDSM is just a part of the living plant.

So in theory D/s relationships do not necessary require (but do still have the need for) physical presence in order to build trust, feel closeness, use discipline, punishment, or to enjoy (some types) of sexual play. So in my opinion it is possible to build and maintain an honest ,happy, meaningful D/s relationship on-line.

Ok now that said, I can fill you in on whats been happening with me. I have been..I'm not sure what to call it..lets say "Dom window shopping" for a few years now on and off. I was lucky when I first began to explore my submission I hooked up with an excellent sadistic Master who had been in the lifestyle for many years.

He taught me a lot, he was training me to be his slave. I learned submissive manners, how to respect a Dom, basic protocol, things like that. Later on he told me he wanted me to be his r/l slave in a poly relationship with his wife. I knew I could not do that, poly was not for me. I had been told how hard poly can be. So I told him and he released me. But he had brought out my submissiveness and I knew what I wanted then.

As you all know finding someone who fits with you and you fit with them and finding someone who is not a player looking to use you to get off, is very very hard on-line. I went through more than a few. I am very gunshy and cautious.

Then about 45 days ago I met a man on-line, we hit it off right away, we think a lot alike, our limits were exactly alike, we both have a strong work ethic, we were thinking and typing the same things at the same time. Our needs fit with each other. He is awesome, he's very intelligent, has a good sense of humor, he is sadistic by nature but he dominates with consideration.

He is not nearly as interested in the sexual aspects as I am.
The mind what is most important to him. He has never asked me to cam up. He leaves it up to me if I want to cam up or not. I have not seen him on cam yet only in a few pictures. He needs a new cam he says and I believe him.

I have never had a Dom like him, his Domination is instinctual to him, natural to him almost like he has been doing it for 30 years. He amazes me constantly. Yet he is 22 years younger than I. At first I thought he's just too young there is no-way he has the experience to control me, I will end up losing respect and walking all over him. WRONGO! I am very shocked that he is the way he is at his age.

He is in New Mexico and I am in California. He spends plenty of time with me, at least 2 or 3hrs 3 or 4 times a week. I am very excited about him. So far so good, we are still very new. We shall see where this road leads me.

 

[the captians wench]

Adakgirl,

First of all congrats on your new relationship. I love the feeling that new relationships bring.

Second, I think you're dead on. Jounar and I have had a very strong relationship for a little over 3 years and we had not spent any time face to face until this past October (which was exactly one week after our 3 year anniversery). Once I was there, we really did not do a lot of the formalized D/s. He set the tone, of course, opting for a more casual interaction. I happily followed along. His reasoning behind this very relaxed attomosphere was that the D/s aspects of our relationship we can do anytime, but things like cuddling and just hanging out we can't. This was our time to learn each other outside of D/s. And I couldn't have agreed more with his decission to work things this way.

 

[myinnerslut]

So far so good, we are still very new. We shall see where this road leads me.

congrats! i hope thing work well in the future

 

[Adakgirl]

Thank you wench and thanks innerslut. I am happy for you two too. I asked him if it was ok with him if I told you about him . He is the 1st Dom that has ever answered that question with a positive "I don't mind at all if you post about me on Lit". *big smile* I'm glad.

 

[the captians wench]

Thank you wench and thanks innerslut. I am happy for you two too. I asked him if it was ok with him if I told you about him . He is the 1st Dom that has ever answered that question with a positive "I don't mind at all if you post about me on Lit". *big smile* I'm glad.

*giggles* Jounar was a bit shocked by how much I talk about my life and us on lit when he read some of my threads while I was there. Since then, he's said a few things that make me wonder if he reads my posts more than he used to now, but he's never made mention of it, nor has he asked me to stop.

 

[Adakgirl]

It surprises me you didn't ask him first or catch hell for not asking first LOL. He must recognize it as a great resource for discovering more things about the workings of your mind.

 

[SubKekiLee]

I am fighting very hard to resist the temptation of booking a flight for my birthday and "dropping in" on him.

He doesn't like surprizes, and while I know he would be thrilled to see me, if this surprize ment that I wouldn't be able to visit in May, or would some how lessen my visit in some way, he would be majorly pissed.

SKL had better get her butt up here at some point durring my birthday week to keep me state side!

Okay okay when is the big DAY? Ill get there how long do you need to adjust your schedule? I love ya girlie ya know..

 

[myinnerslut]

*giggles* Jounar was a bit shocked by how much I talk about my life and us on lit when he read some of my threads while I was there. Since then, he's said a few things that make me wonder if he reads my posts more than he used to now, but he's never made mention of it, nor has he asked me to stop.

i used to post more about it, but im more careful now. anytime i post something actually personal, i ask Master first. this is for two reasons. the first is to make sure its not too personal, as in has any identifying material that i missed when i read it over. the second it to make sure its appropriate for me to post. i dont do this often, and when i do its usuall fine, but every once in a while he tells me to pull a phrase or a sentence, or occasionally the whole post.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I just returned from a wonderful visit with Daddy. Our visits are too short and too far between but so awesome.

There is something I learned leading up to the visit and as a result of it. For myself, at this point in our relationship, on-line and phone just isn't enough.

It's not the need for physical discipline, or physical play, or sex or even the cuddling and love making. It is the proof of reality. Being grounded.

Words are very powerful. Exchanges over the phone, IMs and emails have the power to make my day, get me horny, scare me, even put me in a totally surrendered mind set. But I have found that after 4 years I still have that unconscious twinge of doubt--is this real or is it just a product of Daddy and mine's very active very dark imagination?

I needed this visit, not just wanted it, I needed it to ground me and reassure me of the reality of our relationship. I needed to see the pleasure in his eyes, the smile on his face, his pride when I did what I was told.

I believe on-line relationships-- D/s and otherwise to be "real". Maybe some people can have on-line relationships that last years and years without ever seeing each other. But I have discovered I have to have some in the flesh time on a regular basis.

With this trip I have been reassured of the reality of he and I. I know we will be a couple forever. Life is good

 

[SubKekiLee]

I just returned from a wonderful visit with Daddy. Our visits are too short and too far between but so awesome.

There is something I learned leading up to the visit and as a result of it. For myself, at this point in our relationship, on-line and phone just isn't enough.

It's not the need for physical discipline, or physical play, or sex or even the cuddling and love making. It is the proof of reality. Being grounded.

Words are very powerful. Exchanges over the phone, IMs and emails have the power to make my day, get me horny, scare me, even put me in a totally surrendered mind set. But I have found that after 4 years I still have that unconscious twinge of doubt--is this real or is it just a product of Daddy and mine's very active very dark imagination?

I needed this visit, not just wanted it, I needed it to ground me and reassure me of the reality of our relationship. I needed to see the pleasure in his eyes, the smile on his face, his pride when I did what I was told.

I believe on-line relationships-- D/s and otherwise to be "real". Maybe some people can have on-line relationships that last years and years without ever seeing each other. But I have discovered I have to have some in the flesh time on a regular basis.

With this trip I have been reassured of the reality of he and I. I know we will be a couple forever. Life is good

I am very happy for you to have seen your Daddy...{{{{ESUB}}}}} I am glad you got a chance to connect physically.

I do know what you mean we live distance apart and sometimes go awhile before we see each other we talk everyday we chat alot and cam.. but there is something about how I feel when I am with him at his feet and serving him and how it grounds me as well to know we will be together for a VERY long time as well...

 

[Netzach]

I just returned from a wonderful visit with Daddy. Our visits are too short and too far between but so awesome.

There is something I learned leading up to the visit and as a result of it. For myself, at this point in our relationship, on-line and phone just isn't enough.

It's not the need for physical discipline, or physical play, or sex or even the cuddling and love making. It is the proof of reality. Being grounded.

Words are very powerful. Exchanges over the phone, IMs and emails have the power to make my day, get me horny, scare me, even put me in a totally surrendered mind set. But I have found that after 4 years I still have that unconscious twinge of doubt--is this real or is it just a product of Daddy and mine's very active very dark imagination?

I needed this visit, not just wanted it, I needed it to ground me and reassure me of the reality of our relationship. I needed to see the pleasure in his eyes, the smile on his face, his pride when I did what I was told.

I believe on-line relationships-- D/s and otherwise to be "real". Maybe some people can have on-line relationships that last years and years without ever seeing each other. But I have discovered I have to have some in the flesh time on a regular basis.

With this trip I have been reassured of the reality of he and I. I know we will be a couple forever. Life is good

This makes sense to me, totally.

I also noticed that after finally playing in the flesh, the phone (our primary contact was historically phone) just didn't have the same punch. We really have wound up shelving our sexualities for when we're actually together, H and I, and use the phone to stay connected. (If it were a romantic relationship I'm sure it'd be different.)

 

[the captians wench]

It surprises me you didn't ask him first or catch hell for not asking first LOL. He must recognize it as a great resource for discovering more things about the workings of your mind.

I've always been very open about my life, it's actually one of the reasons we got together.

He's also very lax when it comes to "protocall". He doesn't require me to ask his permission on ...well hardly anything, and for the most part I don't feel the need to.

I do have to admit, I was surprized I didn't get more of a scolding than I did. I think he just realizes what a big part of my make up this is, blabering about myself. *shrug* I think he apreciates my openness on some level.

I'm just glad he wasn't too upset about it.

Okay okay when is the big DAY? Ill get there how long do you need to adjust your schedule? I love ya girlie ya know..

March 24th is my actual birthday. I start my vacation March 21st and go back March 30th.

You're welcome to crash my pad any time between then. You have my number.

i used to post more about it, but im more careful now. anytime i post something actually personal, i ask Master first. this is for two reasons. the first is to make sure its not too personal, as in has any identifying material that i missed when i read it over. the second it to make sure its appropriate for me to post. i dont do this often, and when i do its usuall fine, but every once in a while he tells me to pull a phrase or a sentence, or occasionally the whole post.

Very reasonable for some one who has to stay hidden. Me, I don't care much that every one knows I'm the McWhore. *shrug* For all I know half my crew (or more) are here and beat off to my pics every night. Doesn't bother me. Not as long as they can remain professional while at work.

I have run across a few people who gave me that "I know you from some where....but where?.....OH from there!" Look. Some flirt after that, but most just turn red and make there way away from me. Seeing the realization in their eyes is priceless.

 

[catalina_francisco]

This makes sense to me, totally.

I also noticed that after finally playing in the flesh, the phone (our primary contact was historically phone) just didn't have the same punch. We really have wound up shelving our sexualities for when we're actually together, H and I, and use the phone to stay connected. (If it were a romantic relationship I'm sure it'd be different.)

Actually, for us, though it was also a romantic relationship, the reaction was the same as you have experienced....it was the reason why we decided to shelve the careful planning for my move and just do it.

Catalina