The Two Stone Tablets

[slyc_willie]

I'm not especially religious, though I do believe in a God and consider myself spiritual. I've sampled most of the major religions (unlike Annie Savoy, however, I do not subscribe to the Church of Baseball) and have found enough common threads to consider my beliefs well-founded and supportive.

Anyway . . . .

I have a regular customer at the restaurant. He's a theologian and a professor and, as it turns out, a sculptor. The other day, he clued me in on what he calls his "ultimate calling."

He claims that, through dilligent study and research, he has been able to recreate the original stone tablets carried down from Mt. Sinai by Moses, containing the Ten Commandments. Arguments about religion and accuracy aside, I think this is very cool.

Check it out.

 

[sr71plt]

And a little questionable maybe, because wasn't the original set shattered and Moses had to go back up for seconds? (Deuteronomy 9:17)

Sorry, but I'd paying close attention to what he ordered to eat--and avoiding ordering that myself.

 

[slyc_willie]

And a little questionable maybe, because wasn't the original set shattered and Moses had to go back up for seconds? (Deuteronomy 9:17)

Sorry, but I'd paying close attention to what he ordered to eat--and avoiding ordering that myself.

Actually, I had the very same question. His response was that the tablets were recreated, in the paleo-Hebrew language that was most common at the time.

I didn't want to argue semantics with him, since I have admittedly not read every page of my King James. I suppose some research work into that would either prove or disprove his claim. Perhaps there is someone who can point to a passage in the bible that verifies the recreation of the tablets?

Regardless of veracity, I still think it is a notable undertaking, and very auspicious for a man of faith.

P.S. Parmesan-crusted sole. (strangely poetic, that)

 

[3113]

He claims that, through dilligent study and research, he has been able to recreate the original stone tablets carried down from Mt. Sinai by Moses, containing the Ten Commandments.

My first thought was "What? He found photos of them?" I mean, it makes archeological sense to recreate the kind of stonework etched with a particular writing that might have been made by people back in those times...but aren't we talking about something made by "god."

Maybe the stone was from a meteor that god plucked out of the heavens. Why would god need to use the rock that happened to be on that mountain? And maybe the writing was magic writing that could be read by anyone even those who couldn't read, or those who could only read some other language than ancient hebrew type language. rWe are taking god here. If you can create the heavens and the Earth and light and all...well, you don't have to make just any old stone tablet with letters.

 

[xssve]

My dream is to recreate the Golden Calf.

 

[xssve]

Seriously though, doesn't the Parmesan overpower the fish? It sounds good though.

 

[sr71plt]

Actually, I had the very same question. His response was that the tablets were recreated, in the paleo-Hebrew language that was most common at the time.

I didn't want to argue semantics with him, since I have admittedly not read every page of my King James. I suppose some research work into that would either prove or disprove his claim. Perhaps there is someone who can point to a passage in the bible that verifies the recreation of the tablets?

Regardless of veracity, I still think it is a notable undertaking, and very auspicious for a man of faith.

P.S. Parmesan-crusted sole. (strangely poetic, that)

I don't have opportunity now to pin it down, but there was a second set provided. And isn't this what was supposed to be in the arc of the covenant--eventually lost (and now claimed by some to be in a church in Ethiopia)? So, it's plausible that the second set exists.

What I find zany is someone claiming to recreate them with no connection to that second set. I'm not that gullible--or, I guess, that willing to believe--I'm afraid.

 

[Guest]

I thought Mel Brooks found three tablets.

 

[sr71plt]

I thought Mel Brooks found three tablets.

Didn't one of those turn out to be Alka-Seltzer?

 

[Stella_Omega]

"Acquire" being a holier way to talk about "buying," evidently.

 

[xssve]

Actually, one plus of economic collapse is that people are finding other things to do besides chase after money, that's kind or refreshing if you ask me.

 

[Stella_Omega]

There's a rising demand for snake oil, too.

 

[xssve]

Are you kiddin' me? That's all everybody has been living on for the last Eight years.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Are you kiddin' me? That's all everybody has been living on for the last Eight years.

Yeah, but-- now we all want better snake oil. Sanctified, and suchlike.

 

[Guest]

"Watch our inspired 3-D animated video... and receive the blessing..."

Reminds me of, "Put your hands against your TV screen and feel the power, brothers and sisters!"

Heinlein observed that one man's theology is another man's belly laugh. Your customer gets points for sincerity, I guess.

And what's wrong with the Church of Baseball? At least it has a benevolent deity. You remember: "Besboll been verra, verra good to me."

 

[dr_mabeuse]

According to Jewish lore, the first copy of the 10 Commandments (known as "the 10 Statements") was written in black fire on white fire. They were committed to stone so Moses could present them to the people.

Some Rabbis believe that 5 commandments were written on each tablet, others that all ten were on each tablet. They also believe the commandments were written on both sides of the tablets, the writing going straight through the rock so that letters with holes in the middle appeared as cut outs, with the stone centers suspended in place. Despite this, the commandments could be read correctly on either side, one of those miracles that's not comprehensible by the human mind. (In Jewish thinking, God has the ability to do things we can't even conceive of, like making 1+1=3)

When Moses came down from the mountain, he found Aaron had given in to the people's demands and built a golden calf for them to worship. Furious, he threw down the tablets and shattered them. God gave him a new set that were then placed in the Ark of the Covenant and carried with the Hebrews and set up in a special tabernacle every night as they wondered in the wilderness.

The tablets were finally captured in battle by (as I recall) the Philistines. They've never been recovered.

I imagine your friend reproduced some modern scholar's version of the 10 Statements in the proto-Hebraic alphabet they would have used in Moses' time.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

For a divine being, he's got crappy penmanship.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

There's actually two versions of the 10 commandments in the bible, the one in Exodus regarding the masaic story, and another in Deuteronomy. The two versions aren't identical. The Deuteronomic version actuyally has 14 commandments (or 15, depending on how you count.)

The two versions (along with the two versions of the creation story and two versions of the Noah epic) is one of the reasons the bible's believed to be a redaction of two original bible texts, one written in Israel and one in Judah.

 

[slyc_willie]

Thanks, Doc. I knew someone would come through.

Mr. Potts stated that the tablets he sculpted can be read on both sides. Thus, the reason for the "lazy Susan" turntable.

I'm not entirely comfortable with his use of the term "acquire" myself, but I understand the biblical reasoning behind it. According to him, he offers a sort of faith-based guarantee on his work. Essentially, when you acquire the tablets from him, he asks for a timetable in which you expect to receive a blessing that will enable you to pay off the price of the tablets. If, within that timeframe, you have not received an amount of money to cover the cost of the tablets, he claims he will buy them back, be it six months or six years later.

With or without financial restitution, if I could afford the $7500 pricetag (he says he would give me a $1000 discount), I'd buy a set. Whether they're truly historical or not, the tablets represent a significant aspect of modern spiritual thought.

To date, he's sold one set.

 

[xssve]

Just make sure you read the fine print.

 

[slyc_willie]

Just make sure you read the fine print.

I did.

Exodus 20:24.

Seriously, notwithstanding tendencies to debunk anything religious aside, I think this is a very cool thing. Like he says, no one's ever tried to do this before.

 

[john-the-author]

Thanks, Doc. I knew someone would come through.

Mr. Potts stated that the tablets he sculpted can be read on both sides. Thus, the reason for the "lazy Susan" turntable.

I'm not entirely comfortable with his use of the term "acquire" myself, but I understand the biblical reasoning behind it. According to him, he offers a sort of faith-based guarantee on his work. Essentially, when you acquire the tablets from him, he asks for a timetable in which you expect to receive a blessing that will enable you to pay off the price of the tablets. If, within that timeframe, you have not received an amount of money to cover the cost of the tablets, he claims he will buy them back, be it six months or six years later.

With or without financial restitution, if I could afford the $7500 pricetag (he says he would give me a $1000 discount), I'd buy a set. Whether they're truly historical or not, the tablets represent a significant aspect of modern spiritual thought.

To date, he's sold one set.

Oy. Just... oy.

 

[sr71plt]

The tablets were finally captured in battle by (as I recall) the Philistines. They've never been recovered.

That isn't "final," is it? The Philistines blamed a plague on having captured the Ark of the Covenant (containing the tablets) and sent it back (1 Samuel 5) and David took the ark to Jerusalem to the first Temple (2 Samuel 6; 1 Chronicles 13 and 15), where nothing was heard about the ark or tablets again after the destruction of the Temple. A minor Ethopian sect claims to have them now, though.

 

[3113]

The tablets were finally captured in battle by (as I recall) the Philistines. They've never been recovered.

Why would god make tablets that could be captured and taken away from his chosen people? I mean, if you can make 1 + 1 = 3, you should be able to make tablets that can't be taken away from those special people you gave them to.

There's actually two versions of the 10 commandments in the bible, the one in Exodus regarding the masaic story, and another in Deuteronomy. The two versions aren't identical. The Deuteronomic version actuyally has 14 commandments (or 15, depending on how you count.)

And now I have to ask...what are the other 4 or 5 commandments?

 

[sr71plt]

Essentially, when you acquire the tablets from him, he asks for a timetable in which you expect to receive a blessing that will enable you to pay off the price of the tablets. If, within that timeframe, you have not received an amount of money to cover the cost of the tablets, he claims he will buy them back, be it six months or six years later.

Hmmm. Is there a Nigerian bank involved in this is some way?