Living life to the fullest

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As some of you know, I lost my mother when I was an adolescent. I was 13 when cancer finally killed her. In some ways, we were fortunate to have had the time to prepare emotionally, we knew she was going to die. On the other hand, I have so few memories of her when she was healthy. {{And, of course, those memories are tainted by my step-demon (stealing this term from Christabell - *thanks*) and his abuse of our little family)).

Anyway...to get back to the original point! I just did a little counting and discovered that tomorrow I will be the exact age my mother was when she died. Tomorrow will be 73 days until my 31st birthday. I find myself thinking about the way I want to live my life. I want to be present in every moment. I want to smile and laugh and smell the roses. Life doesn't have to be so serious, right? So, from this point on I'm going to take myself less seriously. I'm going to enjoy each day, each moment with my family as if it is a gift.

So, here is the living life to the fullest thread. Please share your thoughts!

Being happy is a choice. Some people will never understand that. I consider myself a realist who leans pretty hard towards being an optimist. I choose to see the brighter side of things, knowing occasionally I will be thrown a curve ball. You have to keep swinging though.

 

[JHarrison01]

Although older than you, I am approaching the same age as when my mother died, also way too young, from cancer. I think of her nearly every day and it always reminds me life is precious - live every day to its fullest.

Thanks for your post - it's nice to read something of such weight and meaning

 

[mylaceratedheart]

Being happy is a choice.

{{{{{JtohisPB}}}}}

The above statement is the single most life altering piece of info I have acquired since the day I decided to reinvent myself and break away from my past. Happiness really is a choice. You can choose to live in the moment, savour every sensual pleasure; cold beer, the cool side of a pillow, 5 mins absolute peace and quiet, a sunset or a crashing orgasm. 99% of the stuff we worry about is existential shit that really does not matter in the greater scheme of things. Read Helen Fielding's (creator of Bridget Jones) 'Olivia Joules and the over-active imagination.' Olivia has a list of 'Rules For Living' and I have carried some of them in my head since I read the book: -

Never panic. Stop, breathe, think.

When overwhelmed by disaster, check if it's really a disaster by doing the following: (a) think, "oh, fuck it," (b) look on the bright side and, if that doesn't work, look on the funny side.

Hardly anything matters: if you get upset, ask yourself, "Does it really matter?"

The key to success lies in how you pick yourself up from failure.

Nothing is either as bad or as good as it seems.

Don't expect the world to be safe or life to be fair.

Trust your instincts, not your over-active imagination.

Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.

Don't regret anything. Remember that wasn't anything else that could have happened, given who you were and the state of the world at the moment. The only thing you can change is the present, so learn from the past.

My personal mantra these days is 'I'll handle it.' I've had no end of ups and downs in building my new life and setting up my business and on many occasions I could have got overwhelmed, panicked, despaired and announced that it would never work. Every time I just took a deep breath and said (often aloud for emphasis) 'I'll handle it.' I nearly wound up homeless when my cashflow stopped flowing but some great mates offered me a room and I've never regretted the move. The crucial factor in all this is perspective and asset based thinking. Never think, 'I haven't got A, B or C' and get negative. Think, 'I have X, Y and Z, so what can I do with that?'

So those are my tips and they have worked for me.

 

[KokopelliRises]

I'm learning more and more that living life to the fullest means that you don't have expectations of how people will act, just hopes. I believe honestly that the point of life is to learn and make as many people (always including one's self) as happy as possible and to leave life with as few enemies as possible. The experiences we have contribute to this feeling and are learning experiences. Not everything happens for a reason, but sometimes we just have to make the best of what does happen and move on from that.

Oh, and that patience is a very important thing when dealing with other people. That one's key.

 

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