myinnerslut
His chains. His lash.
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2006
- Posts
- 6,053
Should I now be referring to you as Mrs. Man?
or soon-to-be-mrs.-man?
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Should I now be referring to you as Mrs. Man?
Are we now on a formal name basis?
And on a related note - the other thread has me confused. Should I now be referring to you as Mrs. Man?
Holy shit, really? Congratulations, MMTB!Oh for the love. We are engaged.
Hmm.
Have you talked to him about this? Does he know when, and how often, you get pissed?
Ah, haha, I don't really have a "he" at the moment.
It may not be a good match. If at the end of my day when I've dealt with work, and have tucked my kid into bed, my PYL tells me I did not report the details of my meal or some other mundane fact quickly enough and therefore should be punished, he is not the one for me, and vice versa. You may be better suited - at this point in your life at least - for someone who is more laid back. Or doesn't order you to do X, which is just the one thing that drives you crazy.
You know what Dan Savage says - all of your relationships will fail, until one doesn't! Seriously, maybe you need someone who is more relaxed/into micromanaging/stricter/less strict whatever.
Seriously, maybe you need someone who is more relaxed/into micromanaging/stricter/less strict whatever.
Wow, that's really covering your bases.![]()
I have no idea why my PYL is always so confused.![]()
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I agree with this. But...It may not be a good match. If at the end of my day when I've dealt with work, and have tucked my kid into bed, my PYL tells me I did not report the details of my meal or some other mundane fact quickly enough and therefore should be punished, he is not the one for me, and vice versa. You may be better suited - at this point in your life at least - for someone who is more laid back. Or doesn't order you to do X, which is just the one thing that drives you crazy.
My dominance is nonexistent without the one who inspires it.Sometimes I feel like I've got nothing. Like I open my hands, mind, mouth, heart, whatever, and there is just nothing there. Maybe my submissiveness is just non-existent unless there is someone there who it shows its face for, and since I haven't found that person yet, it just feels like I've got nothing.
I agree with this. But...
Some of us, back in the day, when we were young and cocky and high on the fact we could seemingly get females to do anything and everything that popped into our horny and brash young brains, would fail to recognize the fact that even the most lovely and compliant females can be pushed too far.
And in these situations, some of us found that a calm and respectfully delivered slap upside the head went a long way toward balancing our perspectives and keeping said lovely and compliant females from walking out the door.
That's very possible. Maybe I've just not yet met anyone that I click with in that way so I don't have anything to point to be be like "that! I like that!"
Sometimes I feel like I've got nothing. Like I open my hands, mind, mouth, heart, whatever, and there is just nothing there. Maybe my submissiveness is just non-existent unless there is someone there who it shows its face for, and since I haven't found that person yet, it just feels like I've got nothing.
My dominance is nonexistent without the one who inspires it.
I can never relate to people who claim they were born dominating all the other kids in the sandbox, and worked their way up from there. Dominance is part of emotional attachment and arousal for me. Part of the construct that goes hand in hand with being in love.
Maybe this is part of why you find the article so alienating. Because it makes it sound as if submissives are people who've been deferring to every living soul in their path since birth.
My dominance is nonexistent without the one who inspires it.
That's very possible. Maybe I've just not yet met anyone that I click with in that way so I don't have anything to point to be be like "that! I like that!"
Sometimes I feel like I've got nothing. Like I open my hands, mind, mouth, heart, whatever, and there is just nothing there. Maybe my submissiveness is just non-existent unless there is someone there who it shows its face for, and since I haven't found that person yet, it just feels like I've got nothing.
I don't really know.
Sometimes the harder you look for something the more elusive it becomes.
I think I know where you’re coming from. If I had found a website like this when I was in my early twenties, (pretending for a moment that there was even internet way back then), I’m sure I would have been equally confused. Not confused because I was young but because who on earth would I have submitted to back then? I can only think of one man who brought that part of me to the surface and we were not compatible in any meaningful way.
When, many moons later, I met “Mr Right”, (yes, I hate that expression), it all fell into place. Everything felt natural. If I hadn’t met him, I’d still just be a vanilla woman with a deep, dark secret and a vaguely unfulfilled need.
Does this make sense?
But you don’t have nothing, you have you. Yes, I spent a lot of years waiting for the perfect sadistic bastard to cross my path but I didn’t spend them staring out the window and singing, “Some day my sadistic bastard prince will come.” I had a career I was passionate about and I poured all my energy into that. In a way, I’m glad I didn’t know anything about the BDSM lifestyle because I didn’t know I was missing out on anything.
You have something that drives you, let it drive you and forget all the rest. Sometimes the harder you look for something the more elusive it becomes.
And I could be totally wrong here.
This.
I really appreciate this. What you say makes a lot of sense.
I guess now I should figure out what drives me
*begins new endless search*
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This is the same girl who prances around for eight hours, without a coat on, on the coldest day of winter, to work on a friend's film, right?
Hmmmmm, I wonder what drives you?
*scratches chin*
My dominance is nonexistent without the one who inspires it.
I can never relate to people who claim they were born dominating all the other kids in the sandbox, and worked their way up from there. Dominance is part of emotional attachment and arousal for me. Part of the construct that goes hand in hand with being in love.
Maybe this is part of why you find the article so alienating. Because it makes it sound as if submissives are people who've been deferring to every living soul in their path since birth.
It does????
I think it just says women who are happy being submissive and get OFF on it are sick. I certainly think that the degree to which it tells women not to be submissive is vastly overrated by female submissives who are wrapped up in justifying their "health."
It sure the fuck didn't tell me I'm ok.
I can never relate to people who claim they were born dominating all the other kids in the sandbox, and worked their way up from there. .
Hmm, well I don't have a female perspective.
But I don't see women being forced to take on a submissive role. Yes it is suggested, but nobody raises an eyebrow at a female masters, phd, etc.
As far as I can see women are even urged more then men to obtain an education.
And well I supose you have to asume here that an education while take you past a submissive role if you decide to do so.
Strong stereotypes still exist though, in that women aren't considered to be a capable physical force. However some truth does lie beneath that generalization and may just be a fact of life. Steeping past that I supose would be considered sick by society.