Inaugural Speech? Poem? As a Writer....

[3113]

We're all writers here. So, honestly, what did you feel, as a writer, worked or didn't work in that speech? What about the Poem? What do the poets here think of it?

I didn't think much of the poem. As for the speech, I would have edited it down, but I think he had a fantastic conclusion.

 

[tickledkitty]

I thought the speech was good but not as moving as I expected. I didn't really like the poem. Listening to it, I wondered if I'd have appreciated it more had I been able to read it.

 

[Liar]

Good enough poem. But teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrribly read. A brick has more prosody, and a fart has more cadence than that lady. Stagefright perhaps?

 

[3113]

I thought the speech was good but not as moving as I expected. I didn't really like the poem. Listening to it, I wondered if I'd have appreciated it more had I been able to read it.

Kennedy has a lot to answer for in bringing in Poet Laureates to read at Inaugurations. Just cause he had Robert Frost....

Good enough poem. But teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrribly read.

Agreed. Poor poets. Novelists don't have to be any good at public reading, but poets do. They always get asked to read their stuff.

 

[cloudy]

I really liked the inclusive nature of Obama's speech.

For so long, I've heard people shouting that this is a "Christian nation", when it has never been that way. In fact, it was founded with a separation of Church and State at its core.

Our new president included everybody.

 

[Huckleman2000]

Yes, that poor woman sapped the life right out of her poem. Dr. Joseph Lowry did much better with his benediction, which had humor and heart.

I was immediately struck by having to pay close attention to the President's words. They actually made sense, and reflected a college reading level.

I liked the pragmatism he spoke of in dealing with domestic affairs, though it didn't exactly make for soaring rhetoric.

He did much better when he spoke as a citizen of the world, when he stated (in effect) that he would no longer ignore the Constitution for the sake of expediency in dealing with our enemies.

I also liked the stuff about a new day, the ground has shifted, the time to put away childish things - he clearly wanted to establish his Presidency with a clean break with the past.

And he really delivered with the ending.

 

[Huckleman2000]

I really liked the inclusive nature of Obama's speech.

For so long, I've heard people shouting that this is a "Christian nation", when it has never been that way. In fact, it was founded with a separation of Church and State at its core.

Our new president included everybody.

Yes! He even said "non-believers" in his list of religions - something I don't recall ever hearing before in a Presidential speech.

 

[Belegon]

I thought the speech was good but not as moving as I expected. I didn't really like the poem. Listening to it, I wondered if I'd have appreciated it more had I been able to read it.

TK, not picking on you, but I see this moments after posting about it.

Everyone seems to expect this man to deliver an intense emotional moment every time he approaches a microphone.

How wonderful that we are thinking that way instead of praying the word "nuclear" does not appear in the text.


I think the speech was deliberate in emotional tone. It was very directed at forging a sense of determination and responsibility.


I think that it was very well-written in that sense. I think it accomplished it's goals and I look forward to reading it. I believe it may have been written with the knowledge that not only must it be spoken, but that it's text will be printed across not just the nation, but the world.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I dont recall who it was, but one of the comedians joked (months ago) that Obama would likely write an inspirational poem as his first official act as President. He did.

 

[jomar]

Yes! He even said "non-believers" in his list of religions - something I don't recall ever hearing before in a Presidential speech.

Yes. And he mentioned restoring science to its rightful place.

Solid speech. The poem didn't really do it for me - even less so with the reading.

 

[LadyKiki]

I thought she choked the life out of that only okay poem...and why on earth didn't they have her on a teleprompter? What trickle of flow she had going was abruptly broken every time she looked down at her notes.

 

[midwestyankee]

I chose to use the poetry-reading portion of the festivities to visit the small room down the hall. Sounds like the Poet Laureate and I were engaged in similar activities simultaneously.

 

[cloudy]

I chose to use the poetry-reading portion of the festivities to visit the small room down the hall. Sounds like the Poet Laureate and I were engaged in similar activities simultaneously.

I did the same thing.

 

[tickledkitty]

TK, not picking on you, but I see this moments after posting about it.

Everyone seems to expect this man to deliver an intense emotional moment every time he approaches a microphone.

How wonderful that we are thinking that way instead of praying the word "nuclear" does not appear in the text.


I think the speech was deliberate in emotional tone. It was very directed at forging a sense of determination and responsibility.


I think that it was very well-written in that sense. I think it accomplished it's goals and I look forward to reading it. I believe it may have been written with the knowledge that not only must it be spoken, but that it's text will be printed across not just the nation, but the world.

Yep, I agree with you, and I don't feel picked on.

I don't think I expect his every utterance to be inspirational or anything like that. I think from the time I started watching at around 9:30, it was a slow build to this really special moment. I was moved to tears a number of times throughout the morning, and I guess subconsciously I was expecting his speech to bring all that to climax.

But, yeah, it was solid, and, in retrospect, better than a display of emotion.

 

[impressive]

I thought the speech was good but not as moving as I expected.

I agree. The man set the bar very high. I have no problem pointing out when he fails to hit his own benchmark. I'd expect any critic to be as candid with my work.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

She was a terrible reader, but her words still got me at the end.

Say it plain, that many have died for this day. Sing the names of the dead who brought us here, who laid the train tracks, raised the bridges, picked the cotton and the lettuce, built brick by brick the glittering edifices they would then keep clean and work inside of.

Praise song for struggle; praise song for the day. Praise song for every hand-lettered sign; The figuring it out at kitchen tables.

Some live by “Love thy neighbor as thy self.”

Others by first do no harm, or take no more than you need.

What if the mightiest word is love, love beyond marital, filial, national. Love that casts a widening pool of light. Love with no need to preempt grievance.

In today’s sharp sparkle, this winter air, anything can be made, any sentence begun.

On the brink, on the brim, on the cusp -- praise song for walking forward in that light.

 

[Boxlicker101]

TK, not picking on you, but I see this moments after posting about it.

Everyone seems to expect this man to deliver an intense emotional moment every time he approaches a microphone.

How wonderful that we are thinking that way instead of praying the word "nuclear" does not appear in the text.


I think the speech was deliberate in emotional tone. It was very directed at forging a sense of determination and responsibility.


I think that it was very well-written in that sense. I think it accomplished it's goals and I look forward to reading it. I believe it may have been written with the knowledge that not only must it be spoken, but that it's text will be printed across not just the nation, but the world.

In certain contexts, "nuclear" might have been okay, as long as it wasn't pronounced "nukuler."

I also enjoyed the speech, but not the poem. It was just read, not emoted, which is the way any poetry except doggerel should be orally delivered.

 

[Huckleman2000]

She was a terrible reader, but her words still got me at the end.

Say it plain, that many have died for this day. Sing the names of the dead who brought us here, who laid the train tracks, raised the bridges, picked the cotton and the lettuce, built brick by brick the glittering edifices they would then keep clean and work inside of.

Praise song for struggle; praise song for the day. Praise song for every hand-lettered sign; The figuring it out at kitchen tables.

Some live by “Love thy neighbor as thy self.”

Others by first do no harm, or take no more than you need.

What if the mightiest word is love, love beyond marital, filial, national. Love that casts a widening pool of light. Love with no need to preempt grievance.

In today’s sharp sparkle, this winter air, anything can be made, any sentence begun.

On the brink, on the brim, on the cusp -- praise song for walking forward in that light.

LOL, I recognize some of those words, but the way they're put together?...It really does read far better than it sounded. I like the "kitchen tables" imagery, and the dictums. I'm not fond of the phrase "praise song for...", though. It sounds contrived, like it calls upon some pure and obscure primitive pagan ritual to lend spiritual import to some pretty mundane observations.

 

[3113]

Transcript

Here's a copy of the transcript.

I gotta say, geeze, am I glad I'll never know before-hand that anything I write is going to be scrutinized by that many people and possibly end up being gone over by future generations of English and/or history students and scholars with a fine-toothed comb. That said, re-reading his speech I found it very sharp, in some instances beautiful, in some a little to like other people's speeches. I appreciate how he starts off by getting our focus where it belongs, away from spurious debates that take a lot of time and energy but resolve anything or get anything done....

For example, this part, which I just LOVE:

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them - that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works - whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account - to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day - because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Beautifully concise. He removes the argument of whether government needs to be big or small, and insists that we focus on what matters. But he really shines when he focuses on his primary theme of restoring our national identity and those of future generations by remembering the past:

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages.

We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment - a moment that will define a generation - it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

Very gentle and beautiful comparison of the heroism of present day soldiers to those at Arlington. It lends great power to his suggestion that our definition of what it means to be an American is what we're willing, like those heroes, to sacrifice. And then he wraps it all up with:

In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world...that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Fantastic!

 

[voluptuary_manque]

What Obama has inspired hope for, ever since he began his campaign, was the peculiar idea that government's business was managing the country. Forget the high-flown rhetoric. Forget the throbbing emotion. We pay these people to make the place work and that means delivery on time, on budget. That's what I liked about the speech. It didn't tug at our heartstrings but rather appealed to our intellects and to our sense of purpose. 'Bout time!

 

[CeriseNoire]

I enjoyed the speech; literate, yet accessible enough for my students to understand. As for the poem, one my students commented "Is she reading it right?"