Corylea
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2008
- Posts
- 885
A friend and I were talking the other day, and he said he was asking all of his friends how they tried to set up further meetings with a new person that they thought they might want to be friends with. I said that I usually say, "You seem like a cool person, and I'd like to know you better. Would you like to get together for lunch someday?"
He said, "Okay, and now what do you say to a new person that you're romantically or sexually interested in? Oh, well, I say, "You seem like a cool person, and I'd like to know you better. Would you like to get together for lunch someday?"
He thought perhaps I was sending people mixed messages.
I said that I don't usually know in advance what a new person and I will want to be to one another until we've spent some time together, so I try to get to know interesting people as friends and then see if anything else happens to develop.
He thought that most people approach new folks with a definite idea in mind. I pointed out that if one is both bisexual and polyamorous, there is no person who's automatically the wrong sex to be a lover, and one can't say, "Well, I'm seeing somebody already, so anybody new will have to be a friend." But one doesn't want to make lovers out of every interesting new person; most of us don't have that kind of time! So things are fairly open-ended for me; I get to know somebody, and then see how that person and I fit together. Another factor is that I don't see exes as villains, the way some people do; many of my closest friends are exes. I don't necessarily have to touch a person to enjoy who they are (as the phenomenon of e-friendship makes fairly clear, although there are a few e-friends that I wish I could touch). It's also true that I take friendship fairly seriously; I don't have to have sex with someone to hold them in my heart.
So, what's it like for you? How do you approach someone that you want to make friends with? How do you approach someone that you hope will be a romantic or sexual partner? How big of a distinction do you make, if any?
He said, "Okay, and now what do you say to a new person that you're romantically or sexually interested in? Oh, well, I say, "You seem like a cool person, and I'd like to know you better. Would you like to get together for lunch someday?"
He thought perhaps I was sending people mixed messages.
I said that I don't usually know in advance what a new person and I will want to be to one another until we've spent some time together, so I try to get to know interesting people as friends and then see if anything else happens to develop.
He thought that most people approach new folks with a definite idea in mind. I pointed out that if one is both bisexual and polyamorous, there is no person who's automatically the wrong sex to be a lover, and one can't say, "Well, I'm seeing somebody already, so anybody new will have to be a friend." But one doesn't want to make lovers out of every interesting new person; most of us don't have that kind of time!
So things are fairly open-ended for me; I get to know somebody, and then see how that person and I fit together. Another factor is that I don't see exes as villains, the way some people do; many of my closest friends are exes. I don't necessarily have to touch a person to enjoy who they are (as the phenomenon of e-friendship makes fairly clear, although there are a few e-friends that I wish I could touch). It's also true that I take friendship fairly seriously; I don't have to have sex with someone to hold them in my heart.So, what's it like for you? How do you approach someone that you want to make friends with? How do you approach someone that you hope will be a romantic or sexual partner? How big of a distinction do you make, if any?
