What Holiday Movies and Songs Teach Me

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Holiday movies are playing on the television non-stop, and holiday music is playing in every store you walk into. Sooner or later, you begin to think about them, and the lessons they have or are teaching you during this time of year....

Here's two important lessons that I've learned:

From Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Peer pressure is brutally fickle. One minute your peers are mercilessly mocking you for being different and refusing to let you join in on their reindeer games, the next they're "shouting out with glee" because you did something cool. Lesson learned: If you want to be loved, make sure Santa picks you to guide the sleigh; otherwise, you're screwed (See also: The Elephant Man).

From It's a Wonderful Life: There is a man who exists for the sole purpose of making sure naughty girls don't become whores and nice girls don't become spinsters. Without him, the flirtatious girl is doomed to prostitution, and the intelligent girl will end up an unmarried librarian rather than a wife and mother of four obnoxious kids with a husband who works in a Savings and Loan Office. Lesson learned: Without a man women make bad decisions and with a man...they make worse decisions.

So what lessons have you learned this Holiday Season? :devil:
 
From Santa Claus is Coming to Town: There's this overweight, red-suited operative from the NSA with a bug in your telephone and a webcam looking out from your computer, you naughty perv, you.
 
How the Grinch Stole Christmas: Big green guy's steal your stuff. Lesson learned: If you sing REALLY REALLY bad, big green guy's will give you your stuff back to shut you up. Oh...... and Cindy Lou Who is HOT!
 
From A Christmas Story: Dad's don't always use good judgement, Mom's can be your friend at times, bullies are really wusses if you stand up to them, your tongue will stick to a frozen pipe, confession is for morons, Santa is a fat drunk in a red suit, it is possible to shoot your eye out and BBguns are way cool.
 
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The Santa Clause Putting on a strangers red clothes will make you fat, desire a CAT scan, and make you think you're flying. Oh yeah, and don't ever marry a psychologist, they're boring as hell
 
The Nightmare Before Christmas: Tim Burton is seriously fucked in the head.
 
The song 'Winter Wonderland' - the lesson: Getting high turns an ordinary winter day into a wondrous event.
 
How the Grinch Stole Christmas: Big green guy's steal your stuff. Lesson learned: If you sing REALLY REALLY bad, big green guy's will give you your stuff back to shut you up. Oh...... and Cindy Lou Who is HOT!

Is that the Cindy Lou from Alabama that I write about, or some other Cindy Lou. The one I write about is REALLY hot. :cool::p
 
Santa claus is coming to town- There will be NO MORE toymakers to the king. You feckless layabout toymakers, get a real job.
 
Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer.....Santa is a reckless sleigh driver, and possibly a drunk. :devil:
 
the song 'Silent Night' - if your partner snores, wear earplugs.
 
That's Cindy Lou Who from Whoville. She's about 3 yo. ;)

NOT! "The Grinch" was written in 1966 and THAT was when Cindy was 3 yrs. old. Cindy Lou Who is in her fourties now and is official a MILF!
 
NOT! "The Grinch" was written in 1966 and THAT was when Cindy was 3 yrs. old. Cindy Lou Who is in her fourties now and is official a MILF!

Hmmm...that puts a different perspection on things...she did have a cute smile...I wonder if she's ever played Santa and the Naughty Elf? :devil:
 
Hmmm...that puts a different perspection on things...she did have a cute smile...I wonder if she's ever played Santa and the Naughty Elf? :devil:
Of course. And she's played with them, too.
 
the song 'White Christmas' - Can we please put the politics of racial division behind us?
 
Scrooge...Never eat cold porridge before bed....Never forget to look back on your life and pay attention to the present and let the mystery of the future stay that way...a mystery...and keep your family and friends very close to your heart....
 
The Grinch......that Christine Baranski is actually likable in some roles.
 
White Christmas, Winter Wonderland, Jingle Bells, et al: That Australia is still seriously schizophrenic at Christmas time.
 
Hmmm...that puts a different perspection on things...she did have a cute smile...I wonder if she's ever played Santa and the Naughty Elf? :devil:

She did a porn video too. "Cindy Lou Does Whoville". ;)
 
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