How it began for you

[MasterSeth]

I've never been a part of a community such as this one so I don't get to ask questions of those with experience with BDSM. I'm curious to see how others got started in this kind of life.

Mine started with my first real girlfriend. She was very open and energetic sexually so I think I was put on the fast track to sexual adventure.

I was still seeing her and another young lady during my summer break from college one year. Both of them knew i was seeing the other and they came to compete with each even though I never spoke of what I was doing with the other. One girl was white, buxom and tall who needed a master. The other was small and black with a serious daddy complex. I was able to accomodate both of them but I discovered my Dom side from basically having free reign over both these women. To have such sexual control over two women at such a young age (I was 23 at the time) was a real eye opener, but I became comfortable with my role in their lives fairly quickly. I was doing things like anal sex, spanking and choking at an age when most of my friends were happy just to get laid.

I didn't really understand it until years later, the nature of these relationships and what the experience did for my character development as a man. The role of a Dom carries a lot of responsibility and I take it very seriously, but I find it has enabled me to take on roles of responsibility in my day to day life without much problem.

So how did some of you get started?

Did you discover yourself or were you led to the life by a more experienced person?

 

[unregistered]

 

[Netzach]

I wasn't interested in the part where the prince reunites with the princess, but the part where he's wandering around in the rose thicket and his eyes get poked out, because he wants her so much.

I was able to have a fairly good, respectful, mutual vanilla relationship, but the curiosity and need was stifling me. By the time I was 23 I was actively seeking contacts to experiment with, and put in the time and exploration to find out that yes, what I thought turned me on did in fact turn me on. The first time a man bent down to kiss my shoes it was like I saw colors for the first time, psychosexually.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

There were things that I knew about myself. I knew I was a pleaser in the bedroom and also that I enjoyed rougher sex over gentler sex. I liked giving blowjobs (which I have often been told is a rarity, many vanilla women hate giving them and it's strictly quid pro quo).

I went to a single sex school and became very close to a girl in the year above me, she was my first proper relationship and I lost my virginity to her. My hetero virginity went at 17.

One ex chose to pin my hands with his one night and it was like a switch went on in my head. I really enjoyed that and so it became part of our repertoire. We fooled around with light bondage and sense deprivation but he wasn't remotely dominant. When the tables were turned and I had control of him, it all felt wrong and I didn't enjoy it at all.

I never admitted to myself that I was sub until my mid 20s. My upbringing was strictly Christian and I was convinced it was some psychological scar from the 'thou shalt' male controlled society I grew up in. I thought it was something 'wrong' with me that needs reprogramming with feminism.

Nope.

Eventually, I started looking into it a bit more. My ex gf from school and I (we occasionally hook up for old times sake) played around with it and she found she really enjoyed being dominant. Then I came on here (can't remember how or why) and spent some time on the boards and in the chatroom where I hooked up with my Master. We were LDR for a year and have now been living together for a year. We started out as D/s and are now 24/7 TPE M/s so things have evolved at what for us was a natural pace.

Rest is history.

 

[SweetGigi]

Won't you go here.

Thanks

 

[wouldloveto]

early on...

For me, my college sweetheart practiced a sort of denial...

not that she was aware (or maybe...), but she was wary of intercourse. This in no way put a crimp in our sex life, lots of oral, lots of teasing...

and when I did cum she reveled in it, played with it, and got me to enjoy it...

Then another gf that was into sex furniture and other kinky twists...

Finally I met a submissive pain slut, she really taught me a lot, and I finally realized that I craved submission and pain.

 

[MasterSeth]

Won't you go here.

Thanks

Thanks for the info Gigi, it was difficult for me to tell what the thread was about by the name.

 

[MasterSeth]

Thank you everyone for your replies. It's all very interesting and I appreciate your candor.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Thanks for the info Gigi, it was difficult for me to tell what the thread was about by the name.

There are a few threads about how people got started which go back over the past few years as it is always of interest to people. No harm in you starting one also as you will find not everyone responds on every thread, sort of depends on timing, mood, time.

Catalina

 

[SweetGigi]

Thanks for the info Gigi, it was difficult for me to tell what the thread was about by the name.

No worries. I just thought you would enjoy the stories there too.

 

[Tuomas]

In the spirit of Catalina, I'll post here:

When I was 14, I saw a car accident. Not like most people just breezing by, but at the time I was an assistant at the fire department, and I was dragged along for practical reasons. I was supposed to stay in away from the accident, but I'm curious and have a rebel streak. And there wasn't enough personnel.

It wasn't a particularly nasty accident, nor dangerous; just a routine drunken crash. For some reason beyond the purpose here, I was left alone with one of the injured. He was a middle-age man, pudgy, and while his injuries weren't very serious, his face and neck was covered in blood. He was laying on the pavement, because the accident had ripped the roof of the car and flipped it on it's side, and his legs were trapped under the dashboard. He was in loads of pain, and because of all the blood thought he was going to die.

Because I had a uniform, it fell to me to reassure him, to tell him that he would be OK. Fortunately it was dark, and I do look somewhat older than my age. But still, I was a 14-year-old kid, terrified, far from home and alone; reassuring this grown adult man that he wasn't going to die.

Fortunately, I always wanted to be a doctor. (Or, more accurately, my father always wanted me to be a doctor, and being a little kid, I though my father was right.) So, I knew a lot about medicine and could actually help him: clean some of the blood off his face, use medical terms, and generally be calm. It was only a couple of minutes, but that's something you don't forget, and I learned a lot from that. When I went home later that evening, I was scared that I would have horrible nightmares. But I slept like a baby.

Thence forward, I realized that if I could do that, there are very few situations I couldn't handle. So, I've always been very comfortable taking charge of things, situations, events. I've always been a problem solver, which means I end up supervising, taking control of what happens, and filling leadership voids. Add to that that I've seen so many people staring with dumb looks on their faces as houses burn and people die; I just don't trust people to be effective in dealing with major problems. As a result, I am most comfortable being in charge of any given situation.

Naturally, that just flows into a relationship. I'm not a domineering, autocratic person; I don't have any personal insecurities that make me feel inferior or want to push other people around. I don't get off by being in charge; it's just my natural state. So, I enter relationships with women who respond positively to my personality.

Then, a few years ago, a friend not from around here (where BDSM is non-existent) suggested I read a couple of erotic stories. She was actually a domme, and wanted to know if I liked the idea of submission I guess, because I don't act like most "Doms" who run around trying to tell everyone what to do all the time. Anyway, I liked the idea, but not in the way she wanted. So, that's how I knew, and have been learning ever since

 

[rexfelis]

I suppose it happened for me because I got tired of being treated like crap by all my girlfriends. I would never fail to get lied to and cheated on, with (up to that point) only one exception. And she was not filling all my needs.

I knew I loved her, I knew I wanted to stay with her, and I knew she was faithful to me... but she did not fulfill my needs sexually. (She was so inhibited sexually that she couldn't enjoy it, and over time it just stopped being interesting to her at all.) So after trying everything I could think of, find or read about to salvage things, I weighed my options:

I could cheat.
I could be miserable.
I could ask her to be one of two women, and seek my fulfillment sexually through the second.

I wasn't about to cheat, and I was tired of being miserable, so I decided to try the third. No go.

We didn't last much longer. Not because of the sex, but because of the communication. We had a complete failure of communication unless I spent all my energies finding misunderstandings and aligning our thinking. When I became too exhausted emotionally to do this anymore, it all crumbled.

About the same time, I started using a subliminal program designed to help me overcome the things that were blocking me from being happy. As it started kicking in, I became less and less willing to be walked on, treated without respect, told what to do, blown off, etc. This was also a large part of why we ended up splitting: She expected me to basically serve her, and I had been doing it because it fit in very nicely with how my single mother had raised me to treat women.

Once I started getting a taste of self confidence, self respect and self esteem, I liked it and I wanted more. Of course, being new to all this, I went too far in the other direction. I took on a candidate for submissive who lived nearby (we matched 100% on Alt), and when she became my sub, I took on a second candidate, whom I met here. I got into it big time, and read everything I could find trying to become a good dominant.

For a short time, having both of these women as submissives was a dream come true, and I really enjoyed spending time with them, but it quickly became apparent that there were problems. Neither of them was happy being one of more than one, and one of them wasn't truly submissive outside the bedroom. Being inexperienced, I had bitten off way more than I could chew, and everything fell apart.

One of them chose to find someone else, and the other I attempted to have a serious monogamous LTR with. In the end, she was unable or unwilling to be honest and faithful, and I ended that too.

Now I have a much better understanding of myself and what is reasonable, and I know what I need and want.

 

[MasterSeth]

Interesting Rexfelis. I am the product of a single mother myself. I found myself treating all my girlfriends the way I wished someone would treat my mom, but the young women in my life didn't understand it and took it for weakness. I spend many years after that treating women very badly because I didn't feel like any woman would appreciate me. As I got older though, certain women seemed to gravitate towards me. I've always said as a man you should just be what you want to be without reservation and a woman who loves that will find you. I've had great relationships because of this, but wasn't always ready to commit and wasn't always sure how to be myself without hurting others.

Now I am simply controlled in my interactions with people and clear about what kind of treatment I will and will not accept. I though I would have to keep my Dom persona in check but the more I integrated into my life, the better things have gone for me. People seem to sense that I can handle almost anything. I function well in chaotic situations.

I can keep my head when all around me are losing theirs and blaming it on me, as Rudyard Kippling would say.

 

[rexfelis]

I think my problem had always been that I tried to be too nice, and tried to be a "good man", based on what other people thought of and expected of me.

Now I am defining what "good man" means for myself, and I don't care what others think of me or my actions. I do what I do because it maintains or improves my sense of self respect, self esteem and self worth.

Ironically, the more self secure and self sufficient I become, the less I feel the need to dominate others. That said, I still find it very attractive if a woman approaches me in a genuinely submissive manner and wishes to submit to me for the right reasons, and I am even more strongly dominant now than ever before with a woman who is worth the response.

I'm still becoming, though. Not just dominant, but I am becoming the man I am capable of being still.

 

[Homburg]

Yeah, I tried that whole "good guy" thing. It worked like shit. I can be a genuinely nice guy, but it never worked out. So, one day, out of the blue (I was 18 or so), I got fed up with it. Decided that I was over women, over dating, over trying to find somebody. Fuck it. It'll happen when, and if, it happens. I'm not going to stress over it.

A week or two later, a female friend that I'd lusted over asked me out.

This started the current period of my life. I wasn't acting like uber-dom, wasn't being a jerk, I just stopped treating women like delicate flowers, and really, honestly didn't care if they wanted to date me or not. This washed the "Eau de Desperate" off of me and suddenly i became a valuable commodity to the women around me.

I met the lass that would become my wife around this time. She is a long-time repressed submissive, and is deeply attracted to the smell of dominance that is around me. I'm pretty alpha, and was back then, and tended to be in charge. She dug it, and was as involved in chasing me as I was chasing her. We got together and never looked back.

Sex has almost always been a rough, animalistic thing for me. I was an attentive lover from day one, largely because I'd read so many books and articles about innattentive lovers. Moreover, I witnessed something I will never forget. there was an older chap in my circle of friends, at the time, that was quite the charming lothario, and was well known for having a string of hot girlfriends. One day, I chanced on three of his ex-girlfriends chatting about him. The topic of conversation was how awful a lover he was, and how it contributed substantively to the brevity of his relationships. So he was charming enough to land these lovelies, but too piss-poor in bed to keep them. So I researched my butt off to learn how to be attentive, etc. Being rough just came naturally, and blending them together seemed to work really well (not a surprise as soon-to-be wife is submissivce, etc).

Frankly, "rough sex" plus "attentive lover" is a significant portion of good T/b sex. Add in power and you're set.

About 7-8 years ago, viv (the wife) brings up BDSM. I'm clueless, and a bit shocked, but I listen, and we give it a swing. It worked... okay. My heart really wasn't in it though, and I couldn't wrap my head around it. It went on for a few years, but it felt fake, forced. Life got to be a bit insane, I lost my job, and wasn't feeling my power anymore, so we just sort of stopped.

A while later, I meet this girl. She gets me all sorts of fired up, and remembering my power, and we go poly. In the process of leading up to this, viv and I get very happy with D/s again. This relationship implodes, but we keep the D/s active.

Some things occur, D/s stops, and we go M/s. A little while later, MIS enters the picture, and poly happens again, also M/s. This time it is a much more intelligent build, and the girls are vastly more compatible.

The short version is that I've always been dominant, and a little kinky. viv got me to be more kinky. I've also always been poly, and just didn't consciously realise it. It has been an interesting road.

 

[BiBunny]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Nobody wants a "nice guy," but most of us women do want good men. There is a world of difference between the two.

 

[Homburg]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Nobody wants a "nice guy," but most of us women do want good men. There is a world of difference between the two.

Yeah, this is a conversation that I will be having with my boys when they'r eold enough. I doubt that my youngest will have an issue with it, but my oldest son is so gosh-darned, gee-willikers nice that I doubt that he'll have it in him to do otherwise.

 

[kittenartist]

So how did some of you get started?

Did you discover yourself or were you led to the life by a more experienced person?

This is an interesting question to me because, while I have put a lot of thought into why I am the way I am, I have not thought over much on how it came to pass.

I will say it has always been there but only noticed in retrospect. Actively coming into it was a round-about process. Although was acting as a Domme to males at a tender age I did not have the language for what was happening... Then, at some point I read about bdsm online. Being the obsessive type I am I read everything I could find. And I thought to myself, "I am very controlling, I dominate in most situations so it should definitely be a submissive!" My thinking was that being controlling was bad for a woman and so giving up the control would make me more feminine. I am also quite the masochist so it made some sense... Except, I never really gave up that control. I topped from the bottom something fierce. I would dictate scenes, redirect, mock, and flat out laugh at my partners attempts to dominate. I suppose, if I had found myself with a truly dominant partner he would have set me straight sooner. Or dropped me like a bad habit.

I remember the day a specific fantasy about abusing a male came to my mind. It shocked me (goodness knows why now) and I wrote it down. A friend read it and although he was normally a Dom type he was aroused. That started a series of stories where we constantly trying to one up each other and gain the upper hand. It was during that time I though, "Ah ha, I am a switch!". Except, again, I never submitted. I always, always strove to end up the victor. Sometimes I would lose the upper hand but I never gave up the battle.

I cannot remember when I finally dropped the pretense of any submission. I do remember finally feeling like myself and having it all just click. That is when the "in retrospect" stories starting springing to my mind. And all my friends who heard the announcement basically said, "D'uh, what took you so long to figure it out?!" I was like, if everyone knew why didn't anyone tell me? And then I remember, I knew it myself... I tried submission to quell the very traits that make me dominant. Once I accepted myself for who and what I am I was able to embrace my natural role in relationships.

All the kinky sex is just a bonus

 

[lilylicious]

I realized that if I could do that, there are very few situations I couldn't handle. So, I've always been very comfortable taking charge of things, situations, events. I've always been a problem solver, which means I end up supervising, taking control of what happens, and filling leadership voids.

It's interesting that you bring this up as I've always been that person who never freezes in a crisis, who takes charge when everyone else loses it.

I am also a natural leader in most situations. However, I also know it's not uncommon for submissives and switches to also be leaders so I can't say my leadership qualities were an earlier indicator of my dominance.

I'd always thought I wanted a guy to truly take charge in the bedroom, just that I'd never found one with the balls to do it. I guess I can be a little intimidating.

Then a year or so I go I dated a guy who took charge. He didn't tie my up or anything drastic, just tried to tell me what to do and when he did, I was sooo annoyed! LOL.

I then befriended a female submissive who educated me a little on bdsm and introduced me to Lit forums. I'd already been reading stories on Lit, including bdsm stories.

Shortly thereafter, I met a guy on a vanilla dating site and we'd hit it off famously though we never met in person. Then out of the blue one day, he asked me if I'd ever spanked a guy. After I stopped laughing, he explained he wanted to be sexually submissive to one woman and he'd picked me. As it turns out, he is also a long time Dom. We talked extensively, and the more we talked, the more I read, the more intrigued I became and I agreed to do it.

Being sexually dominant comes so naturally to me, I really wonder why I haven't pursued it before. Sure I'd tied up guys before and have always enjoyed the tease and control.

I suppose I was always aware of bdsm but just figured it was something that "other" people did. Not "normal" people like me. LOL. Wow was I wrong!

 

[spndrft]

So how did some of you get started?

Did you discover yourself or were you led to the life by a more experienced person?

Like most of the people here, it all seems painfully obvious in retrospect.

I was always playing rough as a child (to be fair my whole family still does - only most of them are over 6ft tall and tend to break furniture now). As young children, my brother and I used to take turns tying each other down and then attempting to escape. I usually played with the boys, war games, which frequently involved power struggles. I don't remember overly dominating those games or not but i did always get what i wanted. Most amusing to me is one day in 2nd or third grade we (a mixed group of ages) were all crawling on a jungle gym or the like/ playing at recess and I decided to tackle a 6th grade boy. which I did. i remember sitting on top of him and proclaiming that he would just have to put up with it. Similarly I adopted a slightly drunk jock from another school at a party in highschool. It started with him trying to chat me up bragging about typical jockish boy things, and turned in to me parading him around the party while he proclaimed to everyone how he actually “had a brain” and was “more than just some dumb jock”. Fun toy. It was a good night.

In middle school I was tormented for "being a lesbian" because I was seen holding hands with one of my female friends who was particularly disliked at large. There was no such thing as a 'gay straight alliance' in those days. It got to the point I actually complained to the nuns. I think that's what really sparked off my confusion about my sexuality. In a few months things died down socially, but my inner torment continued. I was angry for the way EVERYONE treated me. I was confused because i was attracted to boys. I was angry that the concept of being "in the closet", angry at society. And I was even more confused because I WAS attracted to this girl. Eventually it occurred to me one day that I did not have to choose- that being one did not negate the other. I also found out through discussions later in life that throughout this time and high school I was actually more “popular” than it seemed to me, I just intimidated a lot of people.

I am a very introspective, introverted person. One of the ways I ground myself and get myself out of my own head is through sensation. It was around this time in middle school I first started really playing with pain. I tried to never do anything that would leave too permanent a mark – heaven forbid any one actually find out and try to “fix” me. It was never a cry for help or attention.

It has always amazed me, as a painfully shy and quiet person, how I end up in control. The more chaotic, the more gut-wrenching the situation, the more calm and in control I am. It sometimes bothers me how true that is – how I can stand to be surrounded by so much death and illness and NOT be bothered by it.

I remember standing as a child at the end of the dock at my grandparents house, on an inlet of the chesapeake bay. the water is murky. sometimes there are jelly fish. who knows what else. and there are blue crabs on the bottom. and branches. and muck. and it's disgusting and awful. i am filled with fear. but i LOVE the water, i desperately wanted to be in the water. So I face down my fear – and jump in. A few moments of shear terror, followed by catharsis for now I am in the water I love. So much more sweet for the journey. And that struggle stuck with me. I feared it and loved it – finding my edge and playing on it then blasting right through it. And I love taking others through the same experience, it is my nature.

I discovered BDSM on my own – much easier now in the days of the internet. And, yes, now there are words to describe who I am. As I look back on my relationship with my husband I can see it in our relationship – particularly the power exchange. I have the final word. I am the financial provider, he takes care of the household. His role is to please me. My role is to nurture and guide him. In sex we are both switches- although I lean more PYL and he leans more pyl. We have fooled around with some restraints, our power exchange is becoming more blatant in our day to day lives.... so, really, I guess this is our beginning.

thanks to any one who actually read that whole thing...

 

[EttienneB]

My roots

Good morning,
I began when I was about 15, watching a TV adventure serial, "Ramar of the Jungle." In one episode one of the characters was abducted and somehow that sparked a terrific fascination in me. I HAD to try that.
Several weeks later a friend of my older sister stopped by. She was about 17, close to 18 I suspect, but petite. I was shooting baskets in the backyard when I saw her walking up the street; I knew she'd enter the house through the basement door and go up the back stairs. Something (impulsive) in me clicked and I immediately stopped my basketball and hid inside behind the door. When she walked in and closed the door behind her I stepped out and clamped one hand over her mouth and the other arfound her, pinning her arms. (I was already about 6' and she was much smaller.) She froze like a deer in the headlights. But at that point I had done what I wanted to do, and was almost at a loss for 'what comes next.' But my testtosterone helped guide the way.
"Want to fool around?" I whispered. After a loong hesitation she nodded, Yes.
I let her go and we snuck into the dark, warm, cozy laundry room. She never uttered a word. We played at bondage and gagging, meeting several more times over the following months. Little by little I began to fondle and then undress her. In recollection now I realize that her change in breathing, skin tone and sweating was not due to the close quarters.
It was years before I had the opportunity to play again. And by then I was more versed in what was really happening, and how to impart the maximum pleasure while she submitted to my desires.
And now I am hoping to meet someone with like, or rather, complementary desires again. Albeit someone older than "her."

 

[lil_slave_rose]

it all started for me one night when i got left in a chat room on AOL with this guy. i didn't know him, he was introduced to me by a mutual friend and by the end of the night him and i were the only two left in the room. i guess it goes back further than this really because i've always known i was "different" always knew i liked "rough" sex. honestly for a while i thought something was wrong with me. and then i met MasterPhoenix (yes he was the one in the chat room). neither of us can remember what it was exactly that made us start talking about the lifestyle, i believe it was a story that he had written and sent to me to read. he warned me a little bit about what it was about but i had no clue the feelings it would unlock inside of me.

it was about a woman going to a hotel room, to meet her Master for the first time. anyway, long story short the story unlocked alot of things inside of me and i started talking to MP on a daily basis. we became best friends and then he said he would Mentor me if i wanted. but he made me read websites and really really research everything before i gave my answer. i obviously told him "yes" in the end. never did i realize what Him and i would become though.

that was my online experience with it anyway, and then after 3 years of an LDR we made it real time for the first time. and for so long i had heard "it's not going to be what you think" "online is sooo different than real time" and i THOUGHT i did know, until that first night when He got here and we got back to my house. let's just say, when he threw me down on the bed and took me making me His, i was not ready at all. i remember every slap, every word he said to me and i remember the feeling, i remember being scared and my safe word right on the tip of my tongue. right up until he whispered the words i needed to hear in my ear, and then i was excited.

everyone was right..the real time experience was WAY different than the online. MP was my only Sir, and i probably won't have another as i just can't see myself giving myself as fully to anyone else. i owe who i am to Him though, i really do. if it weren't for him seeing who i was inside and nurturing that part out of me, i would still be stuck and confused. now i know what i want. yea, i'm back to being mostly "nilla" now with a little bit of kink, but that's ok atleast now i know i'm not alone and my needs are definantly not "sick and twisted" well ok, maybe a little, but hey, it's fun! we did have more times together after that first one, but none of them were as GREAT as that first time. so now that i've rambled on, i think i've lost the plot of what i was trying to say here. i guess the simple answer would have been someone else nurtured my submissiveness out of me, i didn't find this lifestyle on my own. i owe it to a really great man and maybe one of these days, i'll try it again.

 

[xxxpoisonxxx]

I'll first state I'm not fully into the lifestyle, but dabble in it.

I'm not overly 100% sure where my desire for being dominated came from or when it started to turn into sexual desires. Really thinking about it, i think it developed from my role in childhood games. Playing good guys bad guys/ cops/robbers, I was always the 'bad' guy running away and having to be caught by the 'good' guy and being punished and brought under control. Because of that I think I'm just a naturally submissive person.
Reading about bdsm and having fantasies of being 'raped' got my juices flowing more than I ever thought it would, as I grew up being tought it was wrong (well rape is off course - but I'm talking about the sense of domination/submission). Anyway more and more I wanted to experience these pleasures and pain causing pleasure.
I have now found a partner, whom I'm engaged too, who is as experimental as I am - I'm willing to do almost anything. And he is slowly taking more and more control as I tell him my wanton desires. One step at a time we are going. My main hurdle - anal. He wants it, I want it. We've tried, but it's me that can't make it work.

 

[CutieMouse]

I'll first state I'm not fully into the lifestyle, but dabble in it.

I'm not overly 100% sure where my desire for being dominated came from or when it started to turn into sexual desires. Really thinking about it, i think it developed from my role in childhood games. Playing good guys bad guys/ cops/robbers, I was always the 'bad' guy running away and having to be caught by the 'good' guy and being punished and brought under control. Because of that I think I'm just a naturally submissive person.
Reading about bdsm and having fantasies of being 'raped' got my juices flowing more than I ever thought it would, as I grew up being tought it was wrong (well rape is off course - but I'm talking about the sense of domination/submission). Anyway more and more I wanted to experience these pleasures and pain causing pleasure.
I have now found a partner, whom I'm engaged too, who is as experimental as I am - I'm willing to do almost anything. And he is slowly taking more and more control as I tell him my wanton desires. One step at a time we are going. My main hurdle - anal. He wants it, I want it. We've tried, but it's me that can't make it work.

Firstly, welcome to the forum.

Anal Pleasure and Health. I know it seems silly to read a 275pg. book for something that "should be" simple, but it might help. (Very good read, too, BTW.)

 

[xxxpoisonxxx]

Thank you ^_^