Words fail

[starrkers]

Man caught with penis in pasta jar, near Nobbys Beach

 

[Stella_Omega]

...And a Jack Russell Terrier."

I'm going to be laughing about that for the rest of the night!

 

[starrkers]

...And a Jack Russell Terrier."

I'm going to be laughing about that for the rest of the night!

That's the line that got me too!

 

[IsabellaKing]

Nah, it's gotta be this line.

"Police believed Weatherley was doing something with his hands in his lap and thought that he might have a weapon."

 

[Saucy_Sage]

Ooh, I love food porn. I assume it was an otherwise empty pasta sauce jar.

 

[Sandy_Fox]

A search of his car uncovered pornography, a home-made sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier.

Please tell me that these three items are NOT connected!

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Must have been clam sauce.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Must have been clam sauce.

Would that be bearded clam...sauce?

 

[oggbashan]

Please tell me that these three items are NOT connected!

Making a connection might be an interesting plot bunny.

Og

 

[3113]

Ooh, I love food porn. I assume it was an otherwise empty pasta sauce jar.

How pleasurable would an empty jar be? Wouldn't the sauce be the, well, sauce in this experience?

And I have two questions. First, why arrest him on "offensive behavior"? It was his car! Can't a man enjoy a jar of pasta sauce in his own car? And second...just how narrow was the opening of this jar?

 

[Guest]

He was just getting some sauce for his noodle.

What's the big deal?

 

[CharleyH]

...And a Jack Russell Terrier."

I'm going to be laughing about that for the rest of the night!

LOL- read it this morning and both Lauren and I were, well, curious about this - lol

 

[Sandy_Fox]

And I have two questions. First, why arrest him on "offensive behavior"? It was his car! Can't a man enjoy a jar of pasta sauce in his own car? And second...just how narrow was the opening of this jar?

It wasn't the pasta sauce at all. This is clearly a case of sex with an under-aged Parmesan!

 

[jomar]

How pleasurable would an empty jar be? Wouldn't the sauce be the, well, sauce in this experience?

And I have two questions. First, why arrest him on "offensive behavior"? It was his car! Can't a man enjoy a jar of pasta sauce in his own car? And second...just how narrow was the opening of this jar?

He was wearing a Manchester United jersey.

 

[OLDERNWISER]

.....

 

[slyc_willie]

I wonder what the damn dog thought . . . .

*snerk*

The other part that got me was that he kept trying to pleasure himself between bouts of wrestling with the police.

Now that's a real trooper!

 

[Stella_Omega]

"bouts" of wrestling with the police!

This so needs to be filmed!

 

[starrkers]

I really wish I was in the newsroom when the court reporter came back with this one! I used to live and work where this happened.
And Oh! The headline competition on the Subs desk

 

[TE999]

This has the 'pecker caught in the vaccum cleaner' and 'bottle stuck up the ass' stories beat all hollow.

"Trying to make himself decent." Bwahahahaha!

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Things might have really gotten interesting if it'd been a glass jar.

Wonder if a product endorsement is in the works?

Rumple Foreskin

 

[slyc_willie]

Things might have really gotten interesting if it'd been a glass jar.

Wonder if a product endorsement is in the works?

Rumple Foreskin

What I'm wondering is if the sauce was heated up, first.

That might explain why he was so adamant about finishing. Once the heat's gone, it just isn't the same . . . .

 

[oggbashan]

Now we know what O J was doing during that slow speed Police chase...

Og

 

[Saucy_Sage]

He was just getting some sauce for his noodle.

What's the big deal?

Gives a whole new meaning to al dente.

 

[rengadeirishman]

the description of what else was found was the kicker for me.

man was just trying to get his Red-sauce Wings