Newbie needs help on self-torture techniques

[naughtycakes]

Hi all. I'm a GBer and I've been lurking here for a bit. I don't have a lot of experience with bdsm. I don't consider myself a sub and I'm not looking for a dom or master, just into exploring my own sexuality.

I've been spanked, humiliated and abused (in a good way) quite a bit by different bf's and enjoyed it wholeheartedly, but I've always been in control of the situation, and I'm not sure I want that to change.

I feel like I'm at the beginning of a new stage, I'm ready to take theory and put it into practice, but I'd like to start by creating a regimen for myself. I'm incredably turned on by ritual and ceremony and want to incorporate that into a discipline for myself.

I see myself as a modern-day martyr saint, but I need some help with structuring a regime. Any ideas?

I've tried hitting myself with belts and plastic hangers, but it's never hard enough and I end up laughing at myself and frustrated. I also pierced my nipples a few years back, but I don't think I want to go that route again.

HELP!!!!!!

 

[WCHSP]

How intense do you want?

I've found that the problem with selfabuse tends to be the inability to use too much in the way of force. Like, on one level you want the pain, but it's hard to hit yourself as hard as you want. If that's the issue you've got, try things that don't require much force.

Some people like clothespins... get a whole bunch of them and put them on yourself, particularly in sensitive areas. See how many you can attach to your labia.

If that's not intense enough for you, how about nettles? If you want to get crazier, you could try heat... holding whatever part of you you want to hurt over candleflame is probably the safest route there, or you could heat the end of a knife (say, while cooking) and touch it to yourself. Near-boiling water works but you could easily have a nasty burn if you aren't careful.

 

[bambikiller]

Rituals, Once a week or more get naked as soon as you get home put on a pair of pumps and a collar. Get on your knees and wait a certian amount of time and don't move from that position utill the time is up.
leave a toy out in front of you thinking up ways to use it on yourself but not letting your self touch untill the time is up.
Stay naked untill morning.
Serve dinner to your self out of a bowl on the floor.

Punishment, It's old but will work. Make a horse (It can be made from something as clamping a closet rod to two chairs) stradle it handcuff your self from an eye bolt in the ceiling have the key also hanging from the eye bolt but incased in ice so you have to wait untill it melts untill you can set yourself free.

Damn girl just read the stories in this site or lurk around some more, there our thousands of ideas here from sick puppies like us.

 

[Netzach]

Hi all. I'm a GBer and I've been lurking here for a bit. I don't have a lot of experience with bdsm. I don't consider myself a sub and I'm not looking for a dom or master, just into exploring my own sexuality.

I've been spanked, humiliated and abused (in a good way) quite a bit by different bf's and enjoyed it wholeheartedly, but I've always been in control of the situation, and I'm not sure I want that to change.

I feel like I'm at the beginning of a new stage, I'm ready to take theory and put it into practice, but I'd like to start by creating a regimen for myself. I'm incredably turned on by ritual and ceremony and want to incorporate that into a discipline for myself.

I see myself as a modern-day martyr saint, but I need some help with structuring a regime. Any ideas?

I've tried hitting myself with belts and plastic hangers, but it's never hard enough and I end up laughing at myself and frustrated. I also pierced my nipples a few years back, but I don't think I want to go that route again.

HELP!!!!!!

Irritants. Once you put cayenne on your sensitive stuff it's a lot harder to back out.

 

[ManSweat]

Hi all. I'm a GBer and I've been lurking here for a bit. I don't have a lot of experience with bdsm. I don't consider myself a sub and I'm not looking for a dom or master, just into exploring my own sexuality.

I've been spanked, humiliated and abused (in a good way) quite a bit by different bf's and enjoyed it wholeheartedly, but I've always been in control of the situation, and I'm not sure I want that to change.

I feel like I'm at the beginning of a new stage, I'm ready to take theory and put it into practice, but I'd like to start by creating a regimen for myself. I'm incredably turned on by ritual and ceremony and want to incorporate that into a discipline for myself.

I see myself as a modern-day martyr saint, but I need some help with structuring a regime. Any ideas?

I've tried hitting myself with belts and plastic hangers, but it's never hard enough and I end up laughing at myself and frustrated. I also pierced my nipples a few years back, but I don't think I want to go that route again.

HELP!!!!!!

A long time ago I read on this or another site about a woman who lived alone but wanted the same as you. She wrote on slips of paper various well thought out tasks and put them in a hat (or other like container). Then daily she'd take one out and would have to perform the task before going to bed that night.

I don't recall all of the tasks but some were pretty intense (taking an empty thermos to work and peeing into it all morning then drinking from it all afternoon, which may not be your thing), one was to put a brillo pad in her panties and then go shopping. The story was well done and had maybe a dozen ideas but you get the picture.

Good luck and happy hurting...

 

[rosco rathbone]

...and the mouse eats the cheese which is tied to the string, breaking the string and sending the ball rolling into the teeter-totter which upsets the beaker of acid which eats through the rubber band restraining the automatic arm from lighting the firecracker in the policeman's butt which detonates, causing him to swing his baton cracking the drunk on the head who rolls down the inclined plane and into the tank of fluid. The displacement of the fluid operates a rocker arm which spanks your bottom with the paddle.

 

[Powertone]

NUTTYONE!
What in heaven's name...??!!

come back over to the GB.If you crave abuse I can hit you with my witty banter till you cry uncle!
I'll be lookin' for ya,baby-

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Just to clarify, it's perfectly possible to enjoy pain and be masochistic without having any desire to submit to someone. On the BDSM forum, we call people like that 'bottoms' because they take a masochistic role for the duration of a play/sex session but don't submit per se or have any interest in S&M that extends beyond the bedroom.

As for self-torture, I've been where you are when I was single and just like masturbating, it's never as much fun when you're alone. Household items can be 'perverted' to give more impact than a spanking e.g. a spatula or wooden spoon. Ginger root can also be used on sensitive areas and give a hot sensation. Ice is also fun (especially with pureed or sliced ginger frozen inside) and menthol products like Vicks or even toothpaste will make your eyes water.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I'd add orgasm denial to this. Take yourself to the edge X times without letting yourself go over. I'd use a pair of dice, even: the roll tells you how many times you have to go to the edge. Second roll tells you how long you have to wait (in hours, days, whatever) before you allow yourself to come.

As to ritual, that's something I'm very interested in, particularly within a sexual context. Dedicating the activities and energy you raise to a specific thing, either a piece of personal development, a deity or energy form, or even a benefit for someone else (like healing, or whatever) will give you more motivation to accomplish your goals without caving in.

And creating a ritual framework, like a specific room or set of preparations, can add to the energy. It's part of the suspense, to say to yourself, before I can play at all, I have to set this stuff up, light these candles, create this particular sacred environment, that sort of thing.

good luck! and welcome.

bj

 

[SweetErika]

Having suffered from two (albeit unintentional) burns and a rapidly moving infection recently, the intentional burning sounds like a bad idea to me, but whatever...

In this situation, I'd likely be more comfortable with things more along the lines of irritants, clothespins/clamps (you can make your own zipper and rip it off!), as suggested by others, and perhaps even wax (candle and even waxing for hair removal), needles, an electric fly swatter or violet wand, holding difficult positions while meditating, plugs, and other activities that are relatively safe to do solo with some knowledge. There are lots of great self-bondage ideas, too, if you're into that and do some research.

I very much like the idea of picking activities out of a jar; that seems like a good way to keep it interesting and fresh!

 

[naughtycakes]

How intense do you want?

I've found that the problem with selfabuse tends to be the inability to use too much in the way of force. Like, on one level you want the pain, but it's hard to hit yourself as hard as you want. If that's the issue you've got, try things that don't require much force.

Some people like clothespins... get a whole bunch of them and put them on yourself, particularly in sensitive areas. See how many you can attach to your labia.

If that's not intense enough for you, how about nettles? If you want to get crazier, you could try heat... holding whatever part of you you want to hurt over candleflame is probably the safest route there, or you could heat the end of a knife (say, while cooking) and touch it to yourself. Near-boiling water works but you could easily have a nasty burn if you aren't careful.

Yes, exactly, I can take a lot of pain when somebody else is delivering it, but when I have to wield the instrument myself it's different. I can't do it hard enough, and I'm not sure if it's a physical or psychological thing or a combo of both, most likely.

I'm not crazy about the heat idea, but the clothespins are worth a shot, though thinking about it does nothing for me. Mainly I'm turned on by pain to my ass, but I could try the clothespins on my nipples, that might be hot.

Rituals, Once a week or more get naked as soon as you get home put on a pair of pumps and a collar. Get on your knees and wait a certian amount of time and don't move from that position utill the time is up.
leave a toy out in front of you thinking up ways to use it on yourself but not letting your self touch untill the time is up.
Stay naked untill morning.
Serve dinner to your self out of a bowl on the floor.

Punishment, It's old but will work. Make a horse (It can be made from something as clamping a closet rod to two chairs) stradle it handcuff your self from an eye bolt in the ceiling have the key also hanging from the eye bolt but incased in ice so you have to wait untill it melts untill you can set yourself free.

Damn girl just read the stories in this site or lurk around some more, there our thousands of ideas here from sick puppies like us.

Mmm, I like this idea, I need to buy myself a collar or maybe some piece of jewelry that I can use as a symbol of my penance and self-dedication, and incorporate it into a ritual. Then I can wear it to remind myself of what I'm doing.

Thanks, and you're right, there are thousands of ideas here. I need to do some more research. I'm a sick puppy, too

 

[naughtycakes]

Irritants. Once you put cayenne on your sensitive stuff it's a lot harder to back out.

I've tried that, it's a huge turn-on. I'm Peruvian and I like to cook with Aji Amarillo, this super spicy hot pepper that looks like a jalapeno, but it's orange (the name is misleading). The really spicy parts are the veins and seeds and I rubbed them on my pussy once while cooking a really delicious black bean and corn soup. I pulled up my panties, washed my hands and kept cooking for hours, my crotch burning like mad. I kept scissoring my legs back and forth to relieve it a little, but it wouldn't go away. I got used to it, like a dull burning.

A guy I was with did it to me with Habaneros two nights in a row last year, that's where I got the idea. The first night he fingered my pussy with the Habanero juice on his fingers, and it was super intense, but felt amazing. The next night he put the juice on my clit, and though it was great during the sex, once we stopped, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to go and try to wash it off, because it was too much.

A long time ago I read on this or another site about a woman who lived alone but wanted the same as you. She wrote on slips of paper various well thought out tasks and put them in a hat (or other like container). Then daily she'd take one out and would have to perform the task before going to bed that night.

I don't recall all of the tasks but some were pretty intense (taking an empty thermos to work and peeing into it all morning then drinking from it all afternoon, which may not be your thing), one was to put a brillo pad in her panties and then go shopping. The story was well done and had maybe a dozen ideas but you get the picture.

Good luck and happy hurting...

Hmm, interesting idea, but I think I rather have a set regime of some sort. Repetition through ritual. And no drinking of pee, thanks, haha.

 

[naughtycakes]

...and the mouse eats the cheese which is tied to the string, breaking the string and sending the ball rolling into the teeter-totter which upsets the beaker of acid which eats through the rubber band restraining the automatic arm from lighting the firecracker in the policeman's butt which detonates, causing him to swing his baton cracking the drunk on the head who rolls down the inclined plane and into the tank of fluid. The displacement of the fluid operates a rocker arm which spanks your bottom with the paddle.

Yes, but let's leave the policeman's butt out of this, please

NUTTYONE!
What in heaven's name...??!!

come back over to the GB.If you crave abuse I can hit you with my witty banter till you cry uncle!
I'll be lookin' for ya,baby-

Dude, please leave a space between your punctuation marks and the following letters.

 

[Powertone]

Dude, please leave a space between your punctuation marks and the following letters.

yeah...uh...good luck with your flagellation obsession...nutjob.

 

[naughtycakes]

Just to clarify, it's perfectly possible to enjoy pain and be masochistic without having any desire to submit to someone. On the BDSM forum, we call people like that 'bottoms' because they take a masochistic role for the duration of a play/sex session but don't submit per se or have any interest in S&M that extends beyond the bedroom.

As for self-torture, I've been where you are when I was single and just like masturbating, it's never as much fun when you're alone. Household items can be 'perverted' to give more impact than a spanking e.g. a spatula or wooden spoon. Ginger root can also be used on sensitive areas and give a hot sensation. Ice is also fun (especially with pureed or sliced ginger frozen inside) and menthol products like Vicks or even toothpaste will make your eyes water.

Thanks for the clarification, it's a good point. Yes, doing it alone is not idea, haha, but it is what it is.

I like the thought of ginger root, it's always intrigued me, or menthol products, though not in my eyes, but my pussy and maybe my ass.

Great suggestions, thanks.

I'd add orgasm denial to this. Take yourself to the edge X times without letting yourself go over. I'd use a pair of dice, even: the roll tells you how many times you have to go to the edge. Second roll tells you how long you have to wait (in hours, days, whatever) before you allow yourself to come.

As to ritual, that's something I'm very interested in, particularly within a sexual context. Dedicating the activities and energy you raise to a specific thing, either a piece of personal development, a deity or energy form, or even a benefit for someone else (like healing, or whatever) will give you more motivation to accomplish your goals without caving in.

And creating a ritual framework, like a specific room or set of preparations, can add to the energy. It's part of the suspense, to say to yourself, before I can play at all, I have to set this stuff up, light these candles, create this particular sacred environment, that sort of thing.

good luck! and welcome.

bj

Thank you so much! Btw, I love your stories, I read them before I ever signed up to post on Lit and perved on them a lot.

I really like your thoughts on ritual, that's exactly what I'm looking to do. I've never thought about orgasm denial. I had a lot of trouble reaching orgasm before I became sesually active and worked very hard to achieve it. Now I'm super orgasmic, I come without even touching my pussy sometimes, so I'm not sure how I could pull this off, nor if it would do anything for me, but it's worth a try.

Having suffered from two (albeit unintentional) burns and a rapidly moving infection recently, the intentional burning sounds like a bad idea to me, but whatever...

In this situation, I'd likely be more comfortable with things more along the lines of irritants, clothespins/clamps (you can make your own zipper and rip it off!), as suggested by others, and perhaps even wax (candle and even waxing for hair removal), needles, an electric fly swatter or violet wand, holding difficult positions while meditating, plugs, and other activities that are relatively safe to do solo with some knowledge. There are lots of great self-bondage ideas, too, if you're into that and do some research.

I very much like the idea of picking activities out of a jar; that seems like a good way to keep it interesting and fresh!

I agree, the burning thing scares me, and not in a good way. Irritants are a def. turn-on, and I also like plugs and maybe the candle wax. Thanks for your suggestions.

 

[naughtycakes]

yeah...uh...good luck with your flagellation obsession...nutjob.

You're welcome, backedupspunkhe8.

 

[littlegrizz02]

I won't let myself cum for weeks, I make myself get naked and stay that way when the wife and kids are not home. I keep myself hard, and if I happen to cum I make myself eat it, and say I love cum. Once in a while I'll get naked and lock myself out of the house, so I have to run to the garage to get the spare key and run back naked.

 

[Homburg]

...and the mouse eats the cheese which is tied to the string, breaking the string and sending the ball rolling into the teeter-totter which upsets the beaker of acid which eats through the rubber band restraining the automatic arm from lighting the firecracker in the policeman's butt which detonates, causing him to swing his baton cracking the drunk on the head who rolls down the inclined plane and into the tank of fluid. The displacement of the fluid operates a rocker arm which spanks your bottom with the paddle.

Ha! I thought the same damned thing.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Thank you so much! Btw, I love your stories, I read them before I ever signed up to post on Lit and perved on them a lot.

I really like your thoughts on ritual, that's exactly what I'm looking to do. I've never thought about orgasm denial. I had a lot of trouble reaching orgasm before I became sexually active and worked very hard to achieve it. Now I'm super orgasmic, I come without even touching my pussy sometimes, so I'm not sure how I could pull this off, nor if it would do anything for me, but it's worth a try.


.

Shucks, thanks! *shuffling feet* That you like my work is the best possible thing for me to hear.

Your easily orgasmic nature makes the denial thing that much more powerful, if you find you want to play with that. Might be interesting to see if you can promote that nature, by forbidding yourself to come UNLESS you're doing something pain oriented, or only coming through nipple stimulation, or whatever. I'm of the opinion that the whole body is potentially orgasmic. I know my mouth has had very distinct orgasms quite often, particularly when I'm sucking cock. They're just as full-body and satisfying as the more conventional kind.

And I could go on about tantra and sexual ritual all day. You might want to check out the authors Margo Anand, Charles and Catherine Muir and Catherine Yronwode (who is mostly published on line). And Tee Corinne wrote a stunning book called "Dreams of the Woman who Loved Sex" that I found amazingly formative. There are lots more but I'm not coming up with names just at the moment.

I've lurked on the GB a great deal and admire your bravery within that hilarious circus. Welcome to Elsewhere.

bj

 

[naughtycakes]

I won't let myself cum for weeks, I make myself get naked and stay that way when the wife and kids are not home. I keep myself hard, and if I happen to cum I make myself eat it, and say I love cum. Once in a while I'll get naked and lock myself out of the house, so I have to run to the garage to get the spare key and run back naked.

Wow, that's nuts! For weeks? You are a true masochist, I don't think I could do that, or maybe I just wouldn't want to, hahahaha.

That's really hot, though. You manage to humiliate and debase yourself quite handily. I've thought about wearing skimpier outfits during my bike ride, but that's the farthest I've gotten.

Ha! I thought the same damned thing.

Shucks, thanks! *shuffling feet* That you like my work is the best possible thing for me to hear.

Your easily orgasmic nature makes the denial thing that much more powerful, if you find you want to play with that. Might be interesting to see if you can promote that nature, by forbidding yourself to come UNLESS you're doing something pain oriented, or only coming through nipple stimulation, or whatever. I'm of the opinion that the whole body is potentially orgasmic. I know my mouth has had very distinct orgasms quite often, particularly when I'm sucking cock. They're just as full-body and satisfying as the more conventional kind.

And I could go on about tantra and sexual ritual all day. You might want to check out the authors Margo Anand, Charles and Catherine Muir and Catherine Yronwode (who is mostly published on line). And Tee Corinne wrote a stunning book called "Dreams of the Woma,n who Loved Sex" that I found amazingly formative. There are lots more but I'm not coming up with names just at the moment.

I've lurked on the GB a great deal and admire your bravery within that hilarious circus. Welcome to Elsewhere.

bj

Awww, thanks to you, too! It's nice to be here, everybody is so genuine and helpful, a very different trip. I know what you're saying about the different orgasms, I've had those, too, from sucking cock and recently just from publicly groping and making out with a friend; I came without stimulation to my pussy.

The orgasm denial sounds really perverse, but for some reason it's not a turn on for me, the thought of doing it to myself. Even the thought of somebody else doing it upsets me a bit, I'm in it for the orgasms, dammit, haha.

The real problem is my lack of discipline, though I'm definately going to try it, it's going to be hard to actually pull off. I tried a little last night, while watching a spanking video, but I came pretty quickly. I guess I need to step it up, if I'm really going to try it.

Maybe tonight I"ll rub some chili pepper paste on my pussy and try it again, see what happens. I want to test out a few things before trying to structure a ritual.

Thanks for the recommendations, I'll check out those authors.

 

[twysted73]

Watch reruns of Seinfeld. Loudly.

No? Then tigerbalm/ben gay your naughty bits. Go a day burning. Or better yet....burn through a long commute or road trip. Make it fun? masturbate periodically to have the wetness and nerves assist. Compound it by denying yourself an orgasm until you get to your destination.

enjoy

 

[Puman]

Watch reruns of Seinfeld. Loudly.

No? Then tigerbalm/ben gay your naughty bits. Go a day burning. Or better yet....burn through a long commute or road trip. Make it fun? masturbate periodically to have the wetness and nerves assist. Compound it by denying yourself an orgasm until you get to your destination.

enjoy

Now THAT sounds interesting.

 

[HotheadKali]

I like candle wax; it's easy to do, and it's fairly effective.

1)Light candle
2)Hold over area of skin
3)Let hot wax drip on skin
4)???
5)Profit!

Different kinds of wax yield different kinds of burns, so be careful. Depending on your pain tolerance, start with the one with the lowest melting point and work your way up (I think it's paraffin wax that melts the easiest, but I'm not sure)

Other things that are nice: boiling hot water in a porcelain cup and holding it on your skin until it burns, self-piercing (haven't done the nipples, though; that's fucking hardcore or I'm just sensitive).

 

[SweetErika]

I like candle wax; it's easy to do, and it's fairly effective.

1)Light candle
2)Hold over area of skin
3)Let hot wax drip on skin
4)???
5)Profit!

Different kinds of wax yield different kinds of burns, so be careful. Depending on your pain tolerance, start with the one with the lowest melting point and work your way up (I think it's paraffin wax that melts the easiest, but I'm not sure)

Yep, there's TONS of info on wax play here and elsewhere online. We started with a soy candle (the coolest, IIRC), and found it to be too cool, so we moved on to other types. The religious candles in glass that you can get anywhere for about $1 are great (you can get lots of wax and vary the temp by melting them in a crockpot of water). Tealights/votives are on the hotter side, but we like them as well.

I initially test new candles by pouring some wax on a dish and touching it quickly. Then I move on to testing it on the inside of my forearm from various heights. I've found it's a good idea to have a cup of ice on hand for any kind of heat play, both for safety and sensation play.

 

[jayce1066]

Imagine that you've made the mistake of thinking that an unethical alcoholic is going to respect your confidentiality. Then imagine that you've heard that she has been repeating every personal story you've ever told her to any drunk that perches on a stool beside her.
That's torture.