no switch thread??? guess i gotta do it

[tinylittlegnat]

who else is a switch. i go about 60/40 dom/sub. i enjoy both roles. although lately i have been a dom in a big way and really gotten into it. that is more thanks to lady ray than anyone else though.

so i want to know what everyone thinks of switch's. do you hate them? love them? think they should pick a role and stick to it?

most doms ive met dont care for them much or either dont bother. most subs ive met dont have much of an opinion. so what is your take?

 

[catalina_francisco]

I have to leave for now, but here is a list of a quick search for threads on Switches which you might enjoy cruising while you wait for a response.

Catalina

 

[Puman]

Love them..
I think it's really interesting when people"bat for both teams" (so to speak).. Not to say that I dislike Doms or subs in particular, but switches get an insight to both sides and I personally find them very intersting to talk to.

 

[tinylittlegnat]

Love them..
I think it's really interesting when people"bat for both teams" (so to speak).. Not to say that I dislike Doms or subs in particular, but switches get an insight to both sides and I personally find them very intersting to talk to.

that is true. i dont know if it makes me a better dom but i do know what it is like to be the one tied down and used as a play toy. so i can sympathize when i am informed that the knots are a bit to tight or if a bad leg cramp occurs.

also i have been invited to a much with a local group tuesday. sounds like fun.

 

[Puman]

that is true. i dont know if it makes me a better dom but i do know what it is like to be the one tied down and used as a play toy. so i can sympathize when i am informed that the knots are a bit to tight or if a bad leg cramp occurs.

also i have been invited to a much with a local group tuesday. sounds like fun.

It sounds like you could be a little more Dom than sub. Would you say that you've bottomed for the sake of learning? Or when you bottom do you genuinely become submissive? (In the sense of the power dynamics of a scene).

 

[tinylittlegnat]

It sounds like you could be a little more Dom than sub. Would you say that you've bottomed for the sake of learning? Or when you bottom do you genuinely become submissive? (In the sense of the power dynamics of a scene).

it sounds that way because my personality shifts. when i am around someone for a time i take on some of their traits and mannerisms without knowing it.

that and i like becoming what my lover needs me to be. i am a naturally giving person. i may get off only once in a session but i like to make sure my lover couldnt want more. so because she wants a very dominant lover i become one. not just in bed but on the phone and out in public. people at work have noticed a change in attitude as well. i did warn her that i couldnt keep it going all the time. i do need down time from it.

but when i bottom it is complete. i am a big guy so it may not seem i could be a bottom but like i said i am what my lover needs me to be. even my thought processes and my voice change. the thing is i dont notice i am doing it.

 

[BiBunny]

it sounds that way because my personality shifts. when i am around someone for a time i take on some of their traits and mannerisms without knowing it.

that and i like becoming what my lover needs me to be. i am a naturally giving person. i may get off only once in a session but i like to make sure my lover couldnt want more. so because she wants a very dominant lover i become one. not just in bed but on the phone and out in public. people at work have noticed a change in attitude as well. i did warn her that i couldnt keep it going all the time. i do need down time from it.

but when i bottom it is complete. i am a big guy so it may not seem i could be a bottom but like i said i am what my lover needs me to be. even my thought processes and my voice change. the thing is i dont notice i am doing it.

*Wonders if I'm having sex with you*

You sound just like one of my boys, LOL.

 

[tinylittlegnat]

*Wonders if I'm having sex with you*

You sound just like one of my boys, LOL.

i really dont have very many limits in bed and that is what ladyray likes about me. but one of my few limits is i gotta be the only guy. i dont share. other girls i can handle. but i dont do sharing one night stands scat or anything that leaves marks. besides that everything is pretty much fair game.

that said i wouldnt mind tying you to a bed putting a remote controlled toy in you and leaving the room for an hour while i play with you from across the house. oh wait i was having a flashback to last night. sorry

 

[Puman]

i really dont have very many limits in bed and that is what ladyray likes about me. but one of my few limits is i gotta be the only guy. i dont share. other girls i can handle. but i dont do sharing one night stands scat or anything that leaves marks. besides that everything is pretty much fair game.

that said i wouldnt mind tying you to a bed putting a remote controlled toy in you and leaving the room for an hour while i play with you from across the house. oh wait i was having a flashback to last night. sorry

LOL. Sounds like you had fun!

 

[NervousGuy]

Well for me personally I have been a PYT once and been a pyt once. The girl I PYT'd for said I did a decent job, but I can't say my heart was fully into it if you know what I mean. As for pyt'ing for someone, I enjoyed it much more, and think thats who I want to be in "bed" at all times. Mabey not a true switch here, I'd say about 20/80 with the 20 being PYT. Just my little post.

 

[Puman]

it sounds that way because my personality shifts. when i am around someone for a time i take on some of their traits and mannerisms without knowing it.

that and i like becoming what my lover needs me to be. i am a naturally giving person. i may get off only once in a session but i like to make sure my lover couldnt want more. so because she wants a very dominant lover i become one. not just in bed but on the phone and out in public. people at work have noticed a change in attitude as well. i did warn her that i couldnt keep it going all the time. i do need down time from it.

but when i bottom it is complete. i am a big guy so it may not seem i could be a bottom but like i said i am what my lover needs me to be. even my thought processes and my voice change. the thing is i dont notice i am doing it.

Wow, that is interesting.

Do you genuinely not have a preference for either Topping or bottoming? I would imagine that most switches would lean towards one or the other despite what their relationship would need. You seem to immerse yourself into whatever your partner needs, but does that truly satisfy you and are your own needs fully taken care of? Just wondering and curious.

 

[Etoile]

Actually, we have a library with scads of switch threads listed already.

Gotta be the only guy, though? I tend to believe in YKIOK but that does present an interesting psychological puzzle. I'll be pondering that one as I go to sleep.

 

[PertPerth]

Madam Slash, Miss Submissive

I'd say that I'm a switch. 50/50. I'm a dominant woman by nature, but I'm small, pretty and live in a male dominate world - I have learnt my place. I love both sides of me, but I admit I find being split frustrating. I think I need to pick a side and stick to one.
I'd love to play the good-girl role and do as I'm told...but I hate to hold back. I'm yet to find a man 'strong enough' (to put up with me and my demands or to shut me up and put me in my place) and I mostly end up wearing the pants in vanilla relationships - then upsetting the guy because I've taken his manly role.
I know many vanilla guys who think Dommes are very sexy - to look at. Do they want to submit? Hell no!
So, yeah, no 24/7 for me...just role play, dress-ups and tie-ups.

 

[SweetGigi]

I am a switch with a 60/40 split leaning toward submissive. While I cannot deny my dominant nature, I truly feel most fulfilled when I am submitting. It is really nice to be playing with another switch now days. Not only is it giving us botht the freedom to explore each side, but it allows for a freedom you generally can't get from partners who are strictly one side or the other.

 

[Harmony_1985]

I always thought I was submissive through and through but I tried being dominant in a cyber session a few weeks ago and rather enjoyed it, so I'm beginning to wonder if I am switch or just have a little bit of domme inside me LOL.

 

[tinylittlegnat]

Wow, that is interesting.

Do you genuinely not have a preference for either Topping or bottoming? I would imagine that most switches would lean towards one or the other despite what their relationship would need. You seem to immerse yourself into whatever your partner needs, but does that truly satisfy you and are your own needs fully taken care of? Just wondering and curious.

it depends on my mood and what my partner needs to be honest. i am satisfied in bed. i think its just different than other people. i dont judge it by the number of times i cum or the strength of it. it is easy for a guy to cum. to easy in fact. i get satisfied in bed by doing the most for my partner. yes i am going to cum and i am going to enjoy it. thats a given. and even if i dont due to outside forces i can just jerk off. what makes me satisfied. is the look on her face after i sex. the look that says "please help me i dont have the energy to move. you have worn me out past exhaustion and i love you for it."

and i think ladyray knows this. i got her off really well. but she wanted the kind of orgasm that lingers like i described. so all she said was "baby i want more." i didnt say a work and i didnt hesitate. even after i just got off i took care of her the way i know she needed. thats what satisfies me in bed.

I tend to believe in YKIOK but that does present an interesting psychological puzzle. I'll be pondering that one as I go to sleep.

what is ykiok?

 

[BiBunny]

Actually, we have a library with scads of switch threads listed already.

Gotta be the only guy, though? I tend to believe in YKIOK but that does present an interesting psychological puzzle. I'll be pondering that one as I go to sleep.

Ditto.

As far as the actual thread goes, I identify as a switch, but I can't put percentages with it anymore. I used to, but I can't anymore.

My default position is generally dominant. I'm an admitted control freak. Submission is not something I can do easily or take lightly. I've been on so many situations where I tried and finally just had to say, "You know what? I can't do this. Sorry."

As for S&M play, I'm just a sadomasochist. I like dishing it out as much as I like taking it. I have to have both. If my scale gets tipped too far in either direction, I'm miserable. S&M doesn't have to involve power play for me to be a happy camper.

If I spend a lot of time being dominant, I crave submission. If I spend a lot of time being submissive (which doesn't really happen), I crave dominance. I'm not a 50/50 split by any stretch of the imagination, but I've got to have both to be happy. Playing with other switches, by and large, fulfills this objective.

 

[sexycaz22]

Ditto.

As far as the actual thread goes, I identify as a switch, but I can't put percentages with it anymore. I used to, but I can't anymore.

My default position is generally dominant. I'm an admitted control freak. Submission is not something I can do easily or take lightly. I've been on so many situations where I tried and finally just had to say, "You know what? I can't do this. Sorry."

As for S&M play, I'm just a sadomasochist. I like dishing it out as much as I like taking it. I have to have both. If my scale gets tipped too far in either direction, I'm miserable. S&M doesn't have to involve power play for me to be a happy camper.

If I spend a lot of time being dominant, I crave submission. If I spend a lot of time being submissive (which doesn't really happen), I crave dominance. I'm not a 50/50 split by any stretch of the imagination, but I've got to have both to be happy. Playing with other switches, by and large, fulfills this objective.

You sound like me, you must be my twin sister or something!! *giggle* LOL

Right now, I crave being on the bottom, I miss being tied up and being spanked and being flogged Feeling a bit down about it at the moment!

I do enjoy being the Domme quite often, but would like to be a bottom, occasionally too. Its really hard for me to find a guy who I connect well with, and that we can communicate freely and easily. With the guys I have played with, most of them only the once, some of them have not got back to me after playing with me, or things getting in the way....real life calls!



Just in a bad mood here......

 

[Puman]

it depends on my mood and what my partner needs to be honest. i am satisfied in bed. i think its just different than other people. i dont judge it by the number of times i cum or the strength of it. it is easy for a guy to cum. to easy in fact. i get satisfied in bed by doing the most for my partner. yes i am going to cum and i am going to enjoy it. thats a given. and even if i dont due to outside forces i can just jerk off. what makes me satisfied. is the look on her face after i sex. the look that says "please help me i dont have the energy to move. you have worn me out past exhaustion and i love you for it."

and i think ladyray knows this. i got her off really well. but she wanted the kind of orgasm that lingers like i described. so all she said was "baby i want more." i didnt say a work and i didnt hesitate. even after i just got off i took care of her the way i know she needed. thats what satisfies me in bed.

Lucky Lady...

 

[Sub_Space]

I personally love being a switch, although it can get kind of confusing to explain to people where I split. I'd say I'm a more dominant switch, though, probably 65/35 dominant/submissive.

I think part of it for me is having trouble with labels, or being all of one thing and not the other. Even as a dominant, I'm a very protective dominant in a sense that in dominating someone, I enjoy the kind of "giving" that goes with that; if the person doesn't enjoy what I'm doing, then I don't generally like doing it. I enjoy being sadistic/brutal/rough with someone as long as that's what they want, and it's not something that will hurt them mentally (if I feel that humiliation-play, for example, is going to hurt them outside the scene, I would stray away from that).

I guess it all comes down to the fact that I'm a very curious person by nature, and I can't imagine being on just one side or the other. I like knowing what both sides feel like.

 

[tinylittlegnat]

Lucky Lady...

i think its the other way around to be honest. she knows how i feel about her.

im just past that phase of "oh my god im inside a vagina and its awesome" like a 19 year old is. there is more to it than that. whats the point of sex if you are left unsatisfied afterwards. i guess a job well done is its own reward.

but which is better to you? one very strong orgasm that afterwards you dont want to cum again for a while or 3 ok ones like you get from touching yourself? i will almost always go for the really great one. thats why i dont like quickies. i like to take my time and build up to it. foreplay isnt just for the bed room. you can tease you tempt your lover all day leading up to it. its amazing what a random text message or a hidden note will do?

 

[Puman]

i think its the other way around to be honest. she knows how i feel about her.

im just past that phase of "oh my god im inside a vagina and its awesome" like a 19 year old is. there is more to it than that. whats the point of sex if you are left unsatisfied afterwards. i guess a job well done is its own reward.

I like the way you put that and it's very true.

but which is better to you? one very strong orgasm that afterwards you dont want to cum again for a while or 3 ok ones like you get from touching yourself? i will almost always go for the really great one. thats why i dont like quickies. i like to take my time and build up to it. foreplay isnt just for the bed room. you can tease you tempt your lover all day leading up to it. its amazing what a random text message or a hidden note will do?

Here here... like I said... Lucky Lady.

Those special text messages and random notes work wonders - no matter what the dynamic of your relationship is...

 

[tinylittlegnat]

Those special text messages and random notes work wonders - no matter what the dynamic of your relationship is...

we actually had a conversation earlier on the phone. she said that it basically went like this

"your so bad"

"but you like it that way"

"yeah i had you nice i like it better this way"

so i became what she needed me to be. she wanted more kinky so i let my kinky side out without restricting it. she likes it and i get to do all the things that have crossed my mind since i was 14

communication makes everything better

 

[Puman]

communication makes everything better

Communication.... that great big golden key which so many people seem to miss... sad really.

Do you think you'll ever lean towards dom/sub in the long term? By the looks of the other posts on this board, people seem to eventually lean in either direction.

Psychological power dynamics have no part in my relationship with my s.o. (we've tried it both ways and it just didn't work for us) so I find the dominance and submission dynamics very fascinating, and switches even more so since Tops and bottoms seems to have a certain headspace which seems to be almost ingrained in them (and I am speaking very generically here) but switches seem to be able to morph themselves.. its all very interesting.

 

[tinylittlegnat]

Do you think you'll ever lean towards dom/sub in the long term? By the looks of the other posts on this board, people seem to eventually lean in either direction

i like being a sub because their isnt anything that is hard about it. you just get to enjoy it kinda. which is also why i like being a dom. it makes me think.l it makes me plan out ahead of time where i need the ropes to be to do what i want or what i need to buy or just what i want to do. the good thing is ladyray is a switch but not often. so every once in a while i get to enjoy the other side of the coin.

i like being a dom and she likes me being a dom so thats what i will be for now. its even come out in my day to day life. kinda fun if you know me. if you dont then you would probably think im being an ass. oh well better to be the man with the tools nobody likes than be the tool he uses.