stepping out of the closet

[AmishPantry]

I am a masochist and enjoy the sting of discipline. I fought it until now, I wouldn't admit to what everyone around me had to know to be true. I thrive of harsh handling, physical abuse and some even public humiliation. I know I have limits that suggest otherwise, but the truth is that I long to be punished. Are there others here?

 

[looker2006]

Not one but go ahead and be comfortable with your decisions- no reason to hide who ya are.

 

[Hisscarlett]

I think you will find there are many others who enjoy, and even crave, pain and/or humiliation.

It can be a wonderfully fulfilling experience to have a skilled hand punish and give pain, or to be used roughly. It can also be extremely dangerous if with someone you cannot know for certain is experienced, knowledgable and trustworthy.

A cane in the hands of someone who understands the body and how to use it properly can be sublime, giving pain that takes you out of your body and mind and allows complete freedom. It can also be vicious and leave permanent marks and damage if used improperly.

The same is true of all implements.

Pain is a truly mindblowing, mind altering thing. It can be used to give joy and pleasure and also to punish and correct.

But if you are with someone who is unskilled or careless or untrustworthy then it is not something worth the risk.

From your post I am guessing you have not yet found someone to share your desires with, I may be wrong. I suggest you take care in choosing someone to play with. Ensure that a safeword is negotiated and adhered to. Anyone you meet to play with who says a safe word is not needed is someone I suggest you walk away from, actually make that run from.

Maybe you are looking for validation and in that case I, too, love pain. Master enjoys hurting me and I adore his gift of pain, whether it be with a toy/implement or when he fucks me.

There are many resources to help you research the safety of pain play. Many, many identify as pain sluts or masochists. You are not alone in how you feel.

I wish you well on your journey and hope you find what you seek, safely.

s

 

[FurryFury]

Congrats!

I wouldn't be shouting it from the rooftops but yeah, I'd let a potential partner know.

Everyday I feel a bit more in the closet on numerous issues though so what do I know?

 

[CutieMouse]

If I remember correctly, the forums have quite a few masochists as members; although over the years, discussions have tended to lean more towards "just because I'm submissive doesn't mean I like pain" sorts of things. I think those who fit into the edges of the bell curve (sadists/masochists) are less likely to discuss such things, for whatever reason. RJ's thread is one of the few (and best, IMO) on BDSM from a sadist's perspective; I'm not sure we've ever had a similar conversation from a masochist's POV.

 

[AmishPantry]

I know only too well the dangers that abound when a woman admits she is into discipline, enjoys a good, hard spanking and to be handled roughly. Fortunately, I have not fallen prey to them yet. My problem encounters the opposite end of the spectrum, trying to make a straight male my disciplinarian. It is anything but satisfying.

 

[myinnerslut]

im a masochist as well, though more serious pain play is reserved for times we are together, and the last two times ive been sick or recovering from surgery.

 

[intothewoods]

I'm not a heavy masochist, but I do like pain. My maso streak has steadily grown over the past year or so. I don't do public humiliation, but mindfucks make their way into our play.

 

[Homburg]

If I remember correctly, the forums have quite a few masochists as members; although over the years, discussions have tended to lean more towards "just because I'm submissive doesn't mean I like pain" sorts of things. I think those who fit into the edges of the bell curve (sadists/masochists) are less likely to discuss such things, for whatever reason. RJ's thread is one of the few (and best, IMO) on BDSM from a sadist's perspective; I'm not sure we've ever had a similar conversation from a masochist's POV.

Interesting post. I've met a few of the "just because I'm submissive doesn't mean I like pain" types. Commonly, it is because they have not had good experiences with pain. Most people can enjoy pain properly applied, so it is commonly experiential, not wiring. Yes, there are people that just can't deal, but, again, it is a matter of tolerance and boundaries. And that doesn't even get into the idea of sacrifice.

"Delving into the psyche of masochists", a la the excellent thread you mentioned, might produce some interesting discussion.

 

[Hisscarlett]

I agree that it is experiential. Before I became Master's I could not have tolerated the level of pain he enjoys giving. It was a process to train me to "take it". I wanted his pain, craved it, but my tolerance levels were much lower than they are now. It took much less pain to give me the endorphine rush.

Master is a sadist in many ways, despite being very caring and careful of me, and he needs to give me pain as a release for him, just as I need it as a release also. At times, when I am stressed or dealing with something that is causing me emotional turmoil, I beg to be beaten, although whether he gives it to me is up to him and not something I can expect.

I truly believe that the giving or receiving of pain can be something that everyone can enjoy, depending on your orientation of course. I know that Master would never allow anyone to give him pain and I know that I would be too busy checking that the person is ok to ever give it!

 

[AmishPantry]

I agree that it is experiential. Before I became Master's I could not have tolerated the level of pain he enjoys giving. It was a process to train me to "take it".

It sounds like you have a wonderful Master. And the fact that it gives him pleasure is even better. I'll keep my fingers crossed for someone similar to yor Master. I welcome such training.

 

[Hisscarlett]

Thank you. He is perfect for me. I hope you find your perfect Master soon too.

 

[CutieMouse]

"Delving into the psyche of masochists", a la the excellent thread you mentioned, might produce some interesting discussion.

ITW started it, because I was being too chickenchit. LOL

 

[Homburg]

ITW started it, because I was being too chickenchit. LOL

I saw. Your post was excellent.

 

[catalina_francisco]

There have been some great discussions about masochism here over the years since we joined, many of them as offshoots of other discussions, but no less informative and exploratory than if given a specific thread just for discussing masochism and/or pain. I think you will find many a masochist here, but just as it is OK to love/like pain, it is also OK to not like/love it or want it in your relationship. I met more than a couple of PYL's who were just not interested in using or playing with pain...wasn't a problem or wrong, just they were not for me.

Catalina

 

[razberryripple]

It sounds like you have a wonderful Master. And the fact that it gives him pleasure is even better. I'll keep my fingers crossed for someone similar to yor Master. I welcome such training.

*****

 

[AmishPantry]

I feel your pain. I have a vanilla friend and although he tries, he falls way short of what I need. I need a Master who enjoys making me feel his sting. If the Man doesn't enjoy it, then it isn't half as good as it could be.

 

[razberryripple]

*****

 

[limplizzard]

Out of the blue one day my wife told me that she wanted me to tie her up and spank her ass. Being the loving husband I am I agreed. I tied her in such a way that her ample ass was exposed to me and my leather belt. I was kind of gentle with the first stroke of leather to skin, my wife said harder, the second stroke was much harder, she said HARDER, the third strock caused rednist and brusing to her ample posterior. She again asked for a harder blow, I complied, as I continued to spank her her I was surprised how hard my erection got. I really enjoyed bring pain to my wifes ass. I continued to hit her ass with my belt until she said enough. Instead of quiting our game she told me to use my belt on her tits as she wanted to feel the sensation of the belt on them also. Before this session was over I caused welts on her ass, her tits, and her belly. What a wonderful night.