New writer, could someone have a look please?

[big_brown_blowjob_eyes]

Hi there, I have recently started writing solo having written with a friend a few years back. I have three submissions currently, based on the same couple, and another in the pipeline which goes off in another direction.

I have recieved some nice feedback, but was wondering if anyone had a moment to read through (they are fairly short, stand-alone stories, although I'm sure you would be able to piece them together as they are related) and give me any pointers that would improve my writing or any comments on where else you'd like to see the couple go?

Many thanks.

I'll link my stories for ease:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=1015850&page=submissions

 

[Saucy_Sage]

Hi there, I have recently started writing solo having written with a friend a few years back. I have three submissions currently, based on the same couple, and another in the pipeline which goes off in another direction.

I have recieved some nice feedback, but was wondering if anyone had a moment to read through (they are fairly short, stand-alone stories, although I'm sure you would be able to piece them together as they are related) and give me any pointers that would improve my writing or any comments on where else you'd like to see the couple go?

Many thanks.

I'll link my stories for ease:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=1015850&page=submissions

They're very well-written vignettes, although you do seem to bury what little dialogue you have in the middle of paragraphs, which tend to be a little bit long in any event. I like your writing - it's very sensual and I can picture myself in the story.

I urge you to keep going, but not in the same direction. I think you should venture toward an actual story, in which you develop the characters, have a plot with some sort of development and tension, and write some scenes with dialogue (which is how most of us live). This will probably require you to give up the second person p.o.v. It's a fine style for little things pieces like this, but doesn't work anywhere near as well in the longer stories.

Good job.

Cute name, too.

 

[VividDesires]

I think we may have been separated at birth! ...I have an almost identical writing style, as well as similar sex scenes in my stories! I personally like the vignette style, where it's more of just snippets of fantasy; I suppose to each their own.

Kinda weird that this was the first post I went to tonight as I the reason I came here tonight was because I have been wondering if my vignettes fall under the category of erotica of if they are more like stream-of-consciousness fantasies. After reading your vignettes I've come to realize that there are different genres/styles within the umbrella of erotica. Kinda a basic a-ha moment, but one I much needed! So thanks!