X marks the Dominant

[unfoundiamond]

I was talking to a "old school" "pre internet" lifestyler today and he brought up/introduced to me a very interesting idea about "what makes a dominant"

To be fair, I was discussing my bad expiriences and He said this,

A dominant is nothing more and a person who evokes in others the want to serve,
And inversely a submissive is a person who is compelled to serve the other...

Which explained to me a lot...

How people who are dominants aren't so much a like personality, but have a similar "charmingness" for lack of a better term...

What's the general consensus...?

You guys are like my secret little online family (of which some of you hate me...just like a real family) so I wanna know what you guys think...

it just makes a lot of sense for me, as I know some people make me feel it, and some don't...
And some people make me feel it briefly, then kill it...

It also makes sense as to why a lot of tops like to bottom for one and top another...

Or us switchie bit*hes...

I just wondered, have you lovely folks heard this?
Do you "buy" it...?

 

[YourCaptor]

I was talking to a "old school" "pre internet" lifestyler today and he brought up/introduced to me a very interesting idea about "what makes a dominant"

To be fair, I was discussing my bad expiriences and He said this,

A dominant is nothing more and a person who evokes in others the want to serve,
And inversely a submissive is a person who is compelled to serve the other...

Which explained to me a lot...

How people who are dominants aren't so much a like personality, but have a similar "charmingness" for lack of a better term...

What's the general consensus...?

You guys are like my secret little online family (of which some of you hate me...just like a real family) so I wanna know what you guys think...

it just makes a lot of sense for me, as I know some people make me feel it, and some don't...
And some people make me feel it briefly, then kill it...

It also makes sense as to why a lot of tops like to bottom for one and top another...

Or us switchie bit*hes...

I just wondered, have you lovely folks heard this?
Do you "buy" it...?

That is the definition, but you also got to remember that for most charisma is not enough. Dominance is a social role meant for the betterment of the society. If that doesn't happen, there are lots lined up just waiting to challenge and get that role.

 

[castagnus]

I was talking to a "old school" "pre internet" lifestyler today and he brought up/introduced to me a very interesting idea about "what makes a dominant"

To be fair, I was discussing my bad expiriences and He said this,

A dominant is nothing more and a person who evokes in others the want to serve,
And inversely a submissive is a person who is compelled to serve the other...

Which explained to me a lot...

How people who are dominants aren't so much a like personality, but have a similar "charmingness" for lack of a better term...

What's the general consensus...?

You guys are like my secret little online family (of which some of you hate me...just like a real family) so I wanna know what you guys think...

it just makes a lot of sense for me, as I know some people make me feel it, and some don't...
And some people make me feel it briefly, then kill it...

It also makes sense as to why a lot of tops like to bottom for one and top another...

Or us switchie bit*hes...

I just wondered, have you lovely folks heard this?
Do you "buy" it...?

You touch on something I have marveled about for many years - the need of almost all of us to "worship" some entity; a god, religion, a leader, a fellow human being. Some recognize that, and history is replete with instances of very clever people abusing this universal impulse to gain and secure power. Only a few leaders recognized that this notion to serve is universal and have used it wisely. I believe we owe mankind's progress to these marvelous individuals.

On an inter-personal level, the recognition that the desire to serve is strong in some has led others to satisfy this want - and these people become dominants. But dominants are also human beings, few of whom can handle power wisely - even if it is only over one humam being, and it is sad that this has led to so much misery.

But there are few exceptions- and it is soo gratifying to read in this forum about dominant/submissive couples who are still into a loving, productive relationship after many, many years.

On the psyche of being a switch, this is a fascinating topic which I would like to explore in the future.

 

[minx1]

I was talking to a "old school" "pre internet" lifestyler today and he brought up/introduced to me a very interesting idea about "what makes a dominant"

To be fair, I was discussing my bad expiriences and He said this,

A dominant is nothing more and a person who evokes in others the want to serve,
And inversely a submissive is a person who is compelled to serve the other...

Which explained to me a lot...

How people who are dominants aren't so much a like personality, but have a similar "charmingness" for lack of a better term...

What's the general consensus...?

well I think I understand what he means but am not sure I agree with it entirely. Its slightly general to say they evoke in others the want to serve. Not sure I will explain it very well, but here goes nothing.....
My D evokes that in me...though it was there to begin with; in order for it to be evoked. He enables me to be the submissive I am.
I'm not sure it would be true to say a Dominant evokes it in someone other than a submissive or a switch and that leads me on to my next point. I am a submissive but not all Doms I meet evoke the need for me to serve. Am I making any sense.....lol? I know what I mean

Perhaps I am just being pedantic

Perhaps i don't get the point at all...........

 

[Primalex]

A dominant is nothing more and a person who evokes in others the want to serve,
And inversely a submissive is a person who is compelled to serve the other...
[...]
Do you "buy" it...?

Not at all. The consequence is that a person alone on an island is neither dominant nor submissive.


Dominance is a state of mind. This state exists completely independent from anything outside. This state can be expressed in various ways - a charming way, a rude way etc. One way will evoke the desire to be submissive in a certain person but not in another person and vice versa.

You can compare it with intelligence if you like. There are various ways how an intelligent person can express herself - arrogant, helpful, smart-ass, autistic ...but the way does not determine the intelligence.

 

[kinkyknickers]

You touch on something I have marveled about for many years - the need of almost all of us to "worship" some entity; a god, religion, a leader, a fellow human being. Some recognize that, and history is replete with instances of very clever people abusing this universal impulse to gain and secure power. Only a few leaders recognized that this notion to serve is universal and have used it wisely. I believe we owe mankind's progress to these marvelous individuals.

On an inter-personal level, the recognition that the desire to serve is strong in some has led others to satisfy this want - and these people become dominants. But dominants are also human beings, few of whom can handle power wisely - even if it is only over one humam being, and it is sad that this has led to so much misery.

But there are few exceptions- and it is soo gratifying to read in this forum about dominant/submissive couples who are still into a loving, productive relationship after many, many years.

On the psyche of being a switch, this is a fascinating topic which I would like to explore in the future.

Once again, I am reminded that I am a 1%er. I don't feel the need to worship or follow people, gods or entities. I have no need to "serve", neither do I need to be followed, but having said that, if you choose not to follow, I'll still go my own way. I suppose this also ties in with the way I love, I'm complete in my own self and don't need another person or people to complete me (or a god for that matter). I love out of want, not out of need.
My views and position on the aforementioned have been confusing to those I have/ do love and can often lead to insecurities in relationships. Some throw their hands up and walk away, it took me a while to figure out why that was, but I understand the frustrations of dealing with someone like myself now. I'm not made of stone but I am wired a little differently.

As for some people being dominant and some submissive by "charmingness", I think it's very much up to individual interactions between people, not a blanket rule. Plenty of people see me as dominant and make a point of saying so, but there's others who give me no regard in that department whatsoever. There are also heaps of outspoken fiesty subs out there who you'd never pick as submissive, except they are to one person only.
When it all comes down to it, I think sub/ dom is more likely based on powerplays between people (he who carries the biggest stick etc) and personal choice.

 

[Homburg]

You touch on something I have marveled about for many years - the need of almost all of us to "worship" some entity; a god, religion, a leader, a fellow human being. Some recognize that, and history is replete with instances of very clever people abusing this universal impulse to gain and secure power. Only a few leaders recognized that this notion to serve is universal and have used it wisely. I believe we owe mankind's progress to these marvelous individuals.

While I tend to agree with the latter part of this statement, I have recognised that I am one who does not. It's irritating too, as it has caused me no end of problem in the corporate world, and prevented a number of career choices. If I have duty or obligation, I will cheerfully discharge it, but I don't follow worth a crap.


----

Not at all. The consequence is that a person alone on an island is neither dominant nor submissive.

Very true, though these labels are meaningless without a social context in which to place them. You can paint a face on a volleyball and give it orders all day, but it still won't kneel worth a damn. That said, I agree that the definition is far more complex than one who evokes a desire to serve. I know people like that who are most assuredly not dominant. They're simply charismatic and opinionated.

 

[Netzach]

Once again, I am reminded that I am a 1%er. I don't feel the need to worship or follow people, gods or entities. I have no need to "serve", neither do I need to be followed, but having said that, if you choose not to follow, I'll still go my own way. I suppose this also ties in with the way I love, I'm complete in my own self and don't need another person or people to complete me (or a god for that matter). I love out of want, not out of need.
My views and position on the aforementioned have been confusing to those I have/ do love and can often lead to insecurities in relationships. Some throw their hands up and walk away, it took me a while to figure out why that was, but I understand the frustrations of dealing with someone like myself now. I'm not made of stone but I am wired a little differently.

Sounds pretty healthy to me, guess that's why you're a 1 percenter. LOL.

 

[JMohegan]

I was talking to a "old school" "pre internet" lifestyler today and he brought up/introduced to me a very interesting idea about "what makes a dominant"

To be fair, I was discussing my bad expiriences and He said this,

A dominant is nothing more and a person who evokes in others the want to serve,
And inversely a submissive is a person who is compelled to serve the other...

Which explained to me a lot...

How people who are dominants aren't so much a like personality, but have a similar "charmingness" for lack of a better term...

What's the general consensus...?

Can't say that I've ever been attracted to a woman with a charm deficiency relative to my personal "charmingness". Replace "charmingness" with character, charisma, or whatever mythological representation of a dominant's traits you want to apply, and my reaction is the same.

I am comfortable, aroused, satisfied, and happy in a personal relationship *when I am in charge*. That's what makes me dominant in the M/f sense.

 

[kitten_candy]

<snip> How people who are dominants aren't so much a like personality, but have a similar "charmingness" for lack of a better term...

Charming is in the eye of the beholder, I suppose. Calling myself "your slut" every time I have to talk to someone who's picked his label as Dom isn't charming for me and doesn't evoke feelings of submission.

Primalex said:

Dominance is a state of mind. This state exists completely independent from anything outside. This state can be expressed in various ways - a charming way, a rude way etc. One way will evoke the desire to be submissive in a certain person but not in another person and vice versa.

Another thread - the humiliation one? - talked about evoking triggers. What makes me desire to submit to one man over another is more complex than the fact each has that Dominant gene. I need my submissive trigger tripped. And that's the fun. Finding out who trips it, what trips it, discovering new triggers.

Not at all. The consequence is that a person alone on an island is neither dominant nor submissive.

<snip>

I think I'm a sterotype mid-40's submissive: had these "weird" fantasies forever. Read the Story of O and Pat Califia stories a million times. Got divorced, turned 40, discovered the internet and bam. I was the stooopidest newbie online "sub." But now, 7 years later, I (think) I'm a little wiser.

I've heard the argument that you can't be submissive if there isn't anyone to submit to. I disagree. It's the difference between a verb and a noun, maybe?? The difference between who you are vs what you do?? Even without a Daddy or a Dom or a Master, being submissive and the desire to serve is part of my DNA. Right, right, I can't really do much about it if I can't serve anyone. I get that. But it's still there.

Kinkyknickers said:

I'm complete in my own self and don't need another person or people to complete me (or a god for that matter). I love out of want, not out of need.

This is exactly what I mean about being wiser these days. I still have a lot of days where I feel pretty needy. But that's a whole 'nother story.

As for some people being dominant and some submissive by "charmingness", I think it's very much up to individual interactions between people, not a blanket rule. Plenty of people see me as dominant and make a point of saying so, but there's others who give me no regard in that department whatsoever. There are also heaps of outspoken fiesty subs out there who you'd never pick as submissive, except they are to one person only.

When it all comes down to it, I think sub/ dom is more likely based on powerplays between people (he who carries the biggest stick etc) and personal choice.

Yep. Exactly. Except the stick part. You don't have to have the biggest stick. It's what you do with it.

 

[castagnus]

Once again, I am reminded that I am a 1%er. I don't feel the need to worship or follow people, gods or entities. I have no need to "serve", neither do I need to be followed, but having said that, if you choose not to follow, I'll still go my own way. I suppose this also ties in with the way I love, I'm complete in my own self and don't need another person or people to complete me (or a god for that matter). I love out of want, not out of need.

.

Wonderful, powerful statement - I wish I could have said it in those simple words. Sounds much like Ayn Rand. Ever read any of her inspiring novels ?

 

[rosco rathbone]

"What makes a GOOD dominant"--or "an effective dominant" or "a dominant people might actually want to obey"--would be a better way to put it.

Whenever I hear that line about "when my dom walks into a room, everyone stands at attention, everyone always wants to please and serve him, he's just such a dominant", I reach for my revolver.

 

[kitten_candy]

"What makes a GOOD dominant"--or "an effective dominant" or "a dominant people might actually want to obey"--would be a better way to put it.

Whenever I hear that line about "when my dom walks into a room, everyone stands at attention, everyone always wants to please and serve him, he's just such a dominant", I reach for my revolver.

To shoot you? Or him?

I remember (long ago) one "Dom" I met the first time who showed up at the coffee shop wearing leather chaps over his jeans. He wasn't riding a motorcycle.

I revolvered him.

 

[unfoundiamond]

sooo....

Thanx for the responses all...

now,

as for a person on a island.... Is this like if a Dominant falls in the forest, is he still a dominant??
or Which came first the dominant of the submissive>>?
If anyone's being pedantic...>? LoL jk Primalex....

anyways...

and for Minx, I feels you are saying the same thing i am, Except you make the distinction that you felt this need to serve in you already... which is cool, i feel the need to serve in myself.... But, you did say he does compel you to serve him, which is what makes him your dominant, not that you felt the need to serve if that was the case you'd serve anyone....

So....

Being self confident and independent doesn't have any bearing on this conversation, I equate this to dominatrix types who see a "Top", these Dommes don't see the top because they are somehow not functional or insecure...

I notice alot of the dominants like to say that it is the personality type/attributes that makes them a dominant. but i disagree....

there are three ways to display your dominance, through physical superiority or strength i.e.) using the physical strength and timing to overwhelm others, Some display dominance though fear hatred pain and threat to control, and the last was a dominant displays his dominance is through his superior intelligence, intuition and focused will....

these are not characteristics of all dominants nor does every dominant use all or each...

Yes, some doms are smarter and some are stronger, and some can out wit, out last, and out play me, but you cannot say that all dominants use all ways to assert their dominance.

which is why I believe the statement hold true.... A dominant is a person who envokes (weather it was there prior to meeting this person or not) a need to serve and the submissive is a person who feels the need to serve,

not dependednt on HOW dominance is manifested.... be it from fear, "superiority" or physical prowess

prove me wrong... ?? someone?? anyone??

 

[Netzach]

"What makes a GOOD dominant"--or "an effective dominant" or "a dominant people might actually want to obey"--would be a better way to put it.

Whenever I hear that line about "when my dom walks into a room, everyone stands at attention, everyone always wants to please and serve him, he's just such a dominant", I reach for my revolver.

Yes.

You are if you think you are.

If you're any good at it whatsoever, is where the rest comes in.

There's no corresponding behavioral litmus for "submissive." Oh sure, I've walked out of rooms going "well he's not a submissive" but the bottom line is he wasn't to me.

 

[unfoundiamond]

well...

"What makes a GOOD dominant"--or "an effective dominant" or "a dominant people might actually want to obey"--would be a better way to put it.

Whenever I hear that line about "when my dom walks into a room, everyone stands at attention, everyone always wants to please and serve him, he's just such a dominant", I reach for my revolver.

well I must interject what makes a dominant good to me and what makes a dom good to someone else may be very diffrent based on the sub....

 

[JMohegan]

"What makes a GOOD dominant"--or "an effective dominant" or "a dominant people might actually want to obey"--would be a better way to put it.

Whenever I hear that line about "when my dom walks into a room, everyone stands at attention, everyone always wants to please and serve him, he's just such a dominant", I reach for my revolver.

Lol @ revolver, and for the rest - applause.

 

[ManInControl]

I've always felt that a dominant is someone who evokes loyalty and submission in others. I'm not very experienced, not in D/s environments, but in what I have experienced a dominant, or the leader, the manager, or whoever, doesn't demand that people serve him or her. The dominant acts in such a way that he or she receives the respect and committment of others.

We see in D/s that much of the time, people don't know how to handle either side, really. Looking on the websites I've visited, I've seen some people that would roll-over and play dead at one the first word I say, believing to be obedient, and I've seen people that would expect them to do so, as well. I disagree with this, I think for a great relationship between D and s, there must be trust first, and experience. Not necessary experience in the lifestyle, but rather experience with each other. The submissive person really does need to feel the need to please and serve the dominant person, not because the dominant one is "dominant" but because the dominant one is someone the submissive wants to serve.

Likewise, the dominant one has to want to tend to and care for the submissive one, rather than just do so as part of a contract. In my experience, I've worked with people with hypnosis where the gal has wanted to completely give herself over to whatever I want. The thing I've always asked for is for whomever to tell me more about themselves, because far before I dominate someone with hypnosis, I want to know if I want to with the person, if they want me to, and if they'll move at my pace. There's been a lot of people who've just wanted a top, and get frustrated when I take my time to get to know them and their situation. There's been a view looking for a dom, and things didn't work out, we weren't a great fit, and there's been a small margin of those who match what I want, and things go splendidly until circumstances lead us apart for whatever reason.

That's not exactly an answer to what's been said, but it's a little bit of the other side, too. Yes, a dominant evokes the feelings to serve and obey them, I agree. However, this feeling shouldn't be overwhelming initially. Time and trust should build, and the feeling should grow and develop itself.

...I think that makes send

 

[rida]

.......
which is why I believe the statement hold true.... A dominant is a person who envokes (weather it was there prior to meeting this person or not) a need to serve and the submissive is a person who feels the need to serve,

not dependednt on HOW dominance is manifested.... be it from fear, "superiority" or physical prowess

prove me wrong... ?? someone?? anyone??

Sorry, I think I can only prove you right ... in my limited experience.

As a submissive, I'm not going to submit to every walking dick, but I noticed that I have to be very careful if I engage in a sexual relation (even vanilla) as my submissive nature just seeps out and my desire to please more than been pleased just shows up.

On the Dominant side, to me it is not what they say or do. It is a vibe I get just by being in their presence. Is the way their energy feels to me. I've met few potential play partners, and in most cases their energy did not resonate with me. Of course I could have played with them and amused each other, but it would have been an act. But I also met a couple of guys that just clicked.

One, especially, I could sense the energy in his words. And even from his picture. And when I finally met him, his presence was enough to make me want to serve and please him. Nothing to do with how he was dressed or what he said or anything. It was just him.

 

[YourCaptor]

there are three ways to display your dominance, through physical superiority or strength i.e.) using the physical strength and timing to overwhelm others, Some display dominance though fear hatred pain and threat to control, and the last was a dominant displays his dominance is through his superior intelligence, intuition and focused will....

You're making us sound evil here, some of us are nice, I swear.

While these are ways of establishing dominance, this is not the limit by any means.

For example ones reputation may do it, or ones cash flow, etc, etc...

snip

I quoted rida because I agree with what she says, shes even using my terminology.

It's energy, and subs all over respond to different types.

However I think the one type of dominance all subs seek is the one that always gets it done, or at least the one that radiates that energy. Whatever "it" may be.

 

[unfoundiamond]

Who the F* is "us"...

You're making us sound evil here, some of us are nice, I swear.

While these are ways of establishing dominance, this is not the limit by any means.

For example ones reputation may do it, or ones cash flow, etc, etc...



I quoted rida because I agree with what she says, shes even using my terminology.

It's energy, and subs all over respond to different types.

However I think the one type of dominance all subs seek is the one that always gets it done, or at least the one that radiates that energy. Whatever "it" may be.

The energy is a way of describing the almost electrical charge between a dominant and a submissive who really have that deep, (I think everyone meets one, at least one) unspoken but almost supernatural attraction between them self and another a D or s...
that feeling, "energy" whatever... you wanna call it is the description of the feeling to me, and not the description of the dominant.

To see if the statement holds true I applied it to the only really compelling man I have ever met.I thought of S (Now before you guys get out your revolvers hear me out.... )

He's not a big guy, not tall, not really muscley.... though he's toned, he's pale, and bald... completely-no eyelashes,eyebrows, or arm and leg hair, he has that genetic no hair and no pignent thing, but otherwise he's a normal white male... from the same town as me, known me a long long time and he's in a relationship, he has been honest with me about... and they have a open relationship...

I don't wanna serve him because he's so perfect, its how he makes me feel, I am talking he can command me without speaking... DEEP F*ing electrict current flowing out of his eyes and into my soul. Id serve him if I had to do so alongside his current female and I don't do that kind of shit, I mean Id take a bullet for him, (he wouldn't let me but, to make a point)

He compels me to serve him.

Ask yourself about your favorite dominant, (all you "im too domly to have a favDom", just sit tight) Tell me ifs NOT how perfect, dreamy and well built they are, Its how they make you FEEL,
I dk if they are hot too, that's again BESIDE the point as no ones perfect, not matter how hot you are

That electricity, which is the best description of the feeling a human feels when someone COMPELS you with no hesitation to do whatever it takes.

That's the characteristic of a Dominant, anything else is just a imitation.

You can be domeneering you can be controlling...agressive, authoritative.... or you can be a dominant... there's a diffrence

But a dominant is the kind of man who is self confident enough to have the control, and discipline it takes to have someones LIFE in your hands.

This is the Dom that makes the energy come... those are the people(MorF) who give something to the submissive, that feeling of satasfaction, pride... joy in serving and being recongnized, as the D is getting served by the s, its a mutually beneficial relationship,

The ones who hurt, abuse, lie, manipulate, those aren't always(yeah some "dark masters" govern with this hurtful approach, but it seems more often) those are people with character flaws and personality defects and insecurity problems who need something to hide behind, someone to manipulate/control/dote on/keep to make himself feel powerful... he isn't giving shit, he's taking... not a fair deal...its a great deal for him, one sided (shiesty, again not noble)...

I mean yeah, people make bad choices, and have to learn but,
At some point it begins to bleed through these abusers and "MrBigTalk"s aren't the real thing... its a feeling/doubt the sub gets,

(subs-havent you ever been following someones lead to have them falter and make you doubt they could "top" you, that second you realize, in sad shock "his weakness is showing" and he may not be able to domiante me)
This is I think how the body recognizes a person you don't want to serve... His being inferior is part of why he doesn't envoke your need to please. So your mind sabotages it.

This is to me a indicator a true "standing atop the pile of mangled bodies" Dominant isn't just smart and strong and quicky cunning but he is evolved over time and genetically bread....

(Hey all you doms)

Doesn't it blow your mind to wonder if you are the way you are because you come from a line of people who's fittest survivor and fastest sperm, and if you are a leader just maybe because you come from Masters before you....that you never thought about it like that..

Whooaa man... deep stuff.

 

[Netzach]

Doesn't it blow your mind to wonder if you are the way you are because you come from a line of people who's fittest survivor and fastest sperm, and if you are a leader just maybe because you come from Masters before you....that you never thought about it like that..

No, no it doesn't blow my mind. It's good Nazi propaganda, though.

The same person who makes you want to take a bullet is just another schmuck on the train to someone else.

subs-havent you ever been following someones lead to have them falter and make you doubt they could "top" you, that second you realize, in sad shock "his weakness is showing" and he may not be able to domiante me

Usually my respect flies out the window when someone's butthole is too tightly clenched. That's my moment I move in for the kill or just take a hike, the moment I know the shirt is stuffed.

 

[JMohegan]

The energy is a way of describing the almost electrical charge between a dominant and a submissive who really have that deep, (I think everyone meets one, at least one) unspoken but almost supernatural attraction between them self and another a D or s...
that feeling, "energy" whatever... you wanna call it is the description of the feeling to me, and not the description of the dominant.

To see if the statement holds true I applied it to the only really compelling man I have ever met.I thought of S (Now before you guys get out your revolvers hear me out.... )

He's not a big guy, not tall, not really muscley.... though he's toned, he's pale, and bald... completely-no eyelashes,eyebrows, or arm and leg hair, he has that genetic no hair and no pignent thing, but otherwise he's a normal white male... from the same town as me, known me a long long time and he's in a relationship, he has been honest with me about... and they have a open relationship...

I don't wanna serve him because he's so perfect, its how he makes me feel, I am talking he can command me without speaking... DEEP F*ing electrict current flowing out of his eyes and into my soul. Id serve him if I had to do so alongside his current female and I don't do that kind of shit, I mean Id take a bullet for him, (he wouldn't let me but, to make a point)

He compels me to serve him.

Ask yourself about your favorite dominant, (all you "im too domly to have a favDom", just sit tight) Tell me ifs NOT how perfect, dreamy and well built they are, Its how they make you FEEL,
I dk if they are hot too, that's again BESIDE the point as no ones perfect, not matter how hot you are

That electricity, which is the best description of the feeling a human feels when someone COMPELS you with no hesitation to do whatever it takes.

That's the characteristic of a Dominant, anything else is just a imitation.

You can be domeneering you can be controlling...agressive, authoritative.... or you can be a dominant... there's a diffrence

But a dominant is the kind of man who is self confident enough to have the control, and discipline it takes to have someones LIFE in your hands.

This is the Dom that makes the energy come... those are the people(MorF) who give something to the submissive, that feeling of satasfaction, pride... joy in serving and being recongnized, as the D is getting served by the s, its a mutually beneficial relationship,

The ones who hurt, abuse, lie, manipulate, those aren't always(yeah some "dark masters" govern with this hurtful approach, but it seems more often) those are people with character flaws and personality defects and insecurity problems who need something to hide behind, someone to manipulate/control/dote on/keep to make himself feel powerful... he isn't giving shit, he's taking... not a fair deal...its a great deal for him, one sided (shiesty, again not noble)...

I mean yeah, people make bad choices, and have to learn but,
At some point it begins to bleed through these abusers and "MrBigTalk"s aren't the real thing... its a feeling/doubt the sub gets,

(subs-havent you ever been following someones lead to have them falter and make you doubt they could "top" you, that second you realize, in sad shock "his weakness is showing" and he may not be able to domiante me)
This is I think how the body recognizes a person you don't want to serve... His being inferior is part of why he doesn't envoke your need to please. So your mind sabotages it.

This is to me a indicator a true "standing atop the pile of mangled bodies" Dominant isn't just smart and strong and quicky cunning but he is evolved over time and genetically bread....

(Hey all you doms)

Doesn't it blow your mind to wonder if you are the way you are because you come from a line of people who's fittest survivor and fastest sperm, and if you are a leader just maybe because you come from Masters before you....that you never thought about it like that..

Whooaa man... deep stuff.

This reminds me of stuff I often heard girls say when I was a teen. Experiencing their first rush of sexual excitement, these girls projected quasi-mystical and totally unrealistic attributes onto the ones who generated the thrill.

Not that I minded at the time. I got a whole lot of t&a as a result.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that you've never been in a sustained and successful D/s relationship with an actual human being. There's nothing wrong with that, of course. Everyone starts somewhere.

But there is something wrong in confusing fantasy and real life. What you've written is dehumanizing and insulting to dominants. And for submissives, this myth conjures up expectations that will never be fulfilled.

 

[Homburg]

(subs-havent you ever been following someones lead to have them falter and make you doubt they could "top" you, that second you realize, in sad shock "his weakness is showing" and he may not be able to domiante me)

Y'know, every gal that has served me has seen me strong, seen me weak, seen me asleep, seen me barely awake and grouchy as shit, etc. In short, they've seen me as the human I am, flaws and all. If they aren't intelligent and discerning enough to realise they are serving a human being, they don't need to be in my service. they need the ur-fantasy uber dom that only exists on porn sets.

No one is strong all the time.

 

[CutieMouse]

(subs-havent you ever been following someones lead to have them falter and make you doubt they could "top" you, that second you realize, in sad shock "his weakness is showing" and he may not be able to domiante me)

Mmm... newp.

We all have cracks in our facades - that's what makes us human.