The Hook

[SweetWitch]

Okay.


"Harry was puzzled when his chest hairs pulled out so easily."

One of you will recognize this and go, "hey, I wrote that!"

This line makes me want to find out why. That makes me read the next line.

Interesting. Someone own up to it.

 

[TE999]

Are we talking about the song or the event?

I like both.

Both. Me too.

 

[glynndah]

"Dr Strauss says I shoud rite down what I think and remembir and evry thing that happins to me from now on."

 

[SweetWitch]

Okay.


"Harry was puzzled when his chest hairs pulled out so easily."

One of you will recognize this and go, "hey, I wrote that!"

This line makes me want to find out why. That makes me read the next line.

Edited to Add: I didn't read beyond the first line... I clicked on a few of the stories by people that had posted in this thread and copy/pasted a line that I liked.

I found several people doing what I always used to do... opening with dialog. Not necessarily bad, but easy to do. The key is to open with dialog that makes people want to continue. The other thing I saw several examples of, which I know to be common? Opening by setting the scene. "She walked into the bar wearing a short black dress and saw him in the corner." It can be effective, but there is nothing about it that is unique or stands out from the pack.

How does this one grab you? "The soul grows weary."

 

[TE999]

Interesting. Someone own up to it.

That's my story "Gimme Some Skin". I did that for Nude Day '07.

You've got good taste Bel.

 

[SweetWitch]

"Dr Strauss says I shoud rite down what I think and remembir and evry thing that happins to me from now on."

Isn't that Flowers for Algernon? I don't remember the author.

 

[SweetWitch]

That's my story "Gimme Some Skin". I did that for Nude Day '07.

You've got good taste Bel.

Great grabber, babe.

 

[Belegon]

How does this one grab you? "The soul grows weary."

It's fine but not anything special.

Corylea's point is valid... but doesn't change what the demands of the market are. Does that mean she is wrong? NO.

What it means to me is that a good hook doesn't replace a good story. But, that doesn't mean a good story can't benefit from a better hook, either.

Point of order: If you go through my first lines, especially those still here on Lit, you ain't gonna find nuthin' special...

I am still learning and improving, like all of us. And I hope that I always will continue to do so...

 

[TE999]

Isn't that Flowers for Algernon? I don't remember the author.

Yep. The movie was called 'Charly'. Starred Cliff Robertson.

Gordon R. Dickson wrote it I think.

 

[Corylea]

Yep. The movie was called 'Charly'. Starred Cliff Robertson.

Gordon R. Dickson wrote it I think.

Daniel Keyes

 

[SweetWitch]

Daniel Keyes

Thanks! It was driving me nuts.

 

[SweetWitch]

It's fine but not anything special.

Corylea's point is valid... but doesn't change what the demands of the market are. Does that mean she is wrong? NO.

What it means to me is that a good hook doesn't replace a good story. But, that doesn't mean a good story can't benefit from a better hook, either.

Point of order: If you go through my first lines, especially those still here on Lit, you ain't gonna find nuthin' special...

I am still learning and improving, like all of us. And I hope that I always will continue to do so...

How's this one grab you? "She clawed her way out. Chaff clung to the rivulets of sweat and blood on her skin, the raw, open wounds stinging and itching."

Absolutely, the hook is no replacement for a good story, told with effective writing, but it draws the attention and fires the imagination.

 

[Belegon]

Just because I don't want to sound like a know-it-all jerk...

What I consider my best opening out of what is posted on Lit...

I met her because the car broke down.

Not only is it not great, it is from my very first story ever posted.

My best first line from a WIP? IMHO?

The first bullet saved my life.

 

[Corylea]

There's a book by Daniel Keyes where he talks about how he came to write Flowers for Algernon, it's Algernon, Charlie, and I: A Writer's Journey. The book got this review on Amazon:

"What it takes to write one great book is a lifetime of preparation. It seems that every element of Daniel Keyes' life, up to the writing of Flowers for Algernon, was gearing toward that one great book. Every piece of Charlie's life, and every phrase spoken by his coworkers and the scientists who changed him came from Keyes' experience.

Half of this autobiography is the set-up to his great novel, the one work that would define his life. The other half is the aftermath. Thrust into fame and the machine that profits off other's works, Keyes' found himself tossed to and fro.

A writer wants to write, not to examine contracts and make decisions about rights. A writer wants to create and then to own his creations, not to see what came from his mind as property to be arbitrated. Daniel Keyes' found himself in the fortunate position of creating a work of beauty and then wrestling with ownership of that beauty for many years afterward.

What I loved about this autobiography is the journey which prepared him to write a great novel - showing the work and creativity and effort that goes into an instance of genius. What I also loved was the life's lessons learned that he put down on paper so that another person might have an easier journey."

I haven't read it, but the reviewer makes it sound worth reading.

 

[Belegon]

How's this one grab you? "She clawed her way out. Chaff clung to the rivulets of sweat and blood on her skin, the raw, open wounds stinging and itching."

Absolutely, the hook is no replacement for a good story, told with effective writing, but it draws the attention and fires the imagination.

I like "She clawed her way out." better than "The soul grows weary."

But I am only one editor... my opinion is not fact, just opinion.

 

[Corylea]

I think my favorite first line, ever, in any book, is

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

It's not flashy or gripping, but the sense of humor is already apparent, and Jane makes it clear that she's not just going to report events -- we're going to get some genteel snark to go with them.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Uh, actually, I think it was Opium.

I think he was an intelligent, imaginative man, and high on life alone.

A lot of the things that seem so strange to us in his writing, were satires on local happenings. Find a copy of "The Annotated Alice," and be even more entertained than you originally were!

Anyone know this one?

On my naming day when I come 12 I gone front spear and kilit a wyld boar he parbly ben the las wyld pig on the Bundel Downs any how there hadnt ben none for a long time befor him nor I aint looking to see none agen.

 

[Belegon]

I think my favorite first line, ever, in any book, is

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

It's not flashy or gripping, but the sense of humor is already apparent, and Jane makes it clear that she's not just going to report events -- we're going to get some genteel snark to go with them.

It's a very quality first line indeed... as is the opening of Peter Pan. I'm not dissing the classics... Austen is an awesome writer, truly. (for those unaware, this is the first line in Pride & Prejudice)

My fav first line of all time?

"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit."

So what the hell is a hobbit and why does he live in a hole? I wanted to read more...and did.

 

[SweetWitch]

Just because I don't want to sound like a know-it-all jerk...

What I consider my best opening out of what is posted on Lit...

I met her because the car broke down.

Not only is it not great, it is from my very first story ever posted.

My best first line from a WIP? IMHO?

The first bullet saved my life.

I like both of them, but that second really grabs.

I like "She clawed her way out." better than "The soul grows weary."

But I am only one editor... my opinion is not fact, just opinion.

Both lines are from my earlier works. Both were once published here. The second one is the description of a woman bucking bales when the pile falls on her in the high wind. It's a very painful experience, I can tell you.

I think my favorite first line, ever, in any book, is

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

It's not flashy or gripping, but the sense of humor is already apparent, and Jane makes it clear that she's not just going to report events -- we're going to get some genteel snark to go with them.

That's always been one of my favorites.

 

[TE999]

Daniel Keyes

I knew that didn't sound right.

Thanks for the correction.

 

[neonlyte]

First five lines according to this literary agent http://www.webdelsol.com/Algonkian/Classes/interview-NoahLukeman.htm

Peter Pan, Metamorphis - didn't catch 'Call me Jonah'.

I offer: Alexander Cold awakened at dawn, startled by a nightmare.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

A hook in fiction isn't a unit of text. It doesn't denote a sentence or a paragraph or a page. It's a concept, the idea that the opening of a story should sharply snag the reader's attention like a fish hook, rather than invite him to slowly immerse himself in your story like entering a strange room or introduce him to your story as you might meet a person or lead him to encounter your story in any of the countless other ways there are to begin a tale. As such, it's only one way of starting a story, and not always the best. It can be jarring and gimmicky.

Don't confuse great openings with hooks. They're not necessarily the same.

The Jane Austin opening from Pride and Prejudice is most definitely not a hook. It's a very graceful invitation to enter her world where men who have fortunes need wives. Nor is "Call me Ishmael" a hook. It's about the dullest opening you can imagine for a book, but it's a great, thunderous overture of biblical clarity that plunges us into Ishmael's world.

Budd Schulberg made fun of the gimmicky hooks used in detective stories with this one:

Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Four shots tore into my gut and I was off on the adventure of my life!

That's a bad hook and shows what happens when they fail. They try too hard to be clever and engaging and instead just draw attention to their own hookiness.

 

[sr71plt]

Not into the guessing game part, but I'll note that both of your professors are too restrictive. The hook doesn't have to be in the first word, sentence, or paragraph. Like most everything else in literature, there are no "have to" formulas about this--sometimes even the real hook can come as a surprise after the reader has chomped on a false hook. It's the surprise and variety that keep literature fresh. (And I wonder what your professors have to say about something like Sophie's Choice--where the hook comes in the title before you get to any text at all.)

 

[sr71plt]

Don't confuse great openings with hooks. They're not the same.

Hallelujah! I got tag teamed recently here pretty nastily for trying to point out the same thing.

 

[Corylea]

The Jane Austin opening from Pride and Prejudice is most definitely not a hook. It's a very graceful invitation to enter her world where men who have fortunes need wives.

Exactly. That's what I meant by that example, but you explained it better than I did -- thanks!