Why i don't like nice guys

[Snoozebutton2]

i am wait for one of these guys i guess. i am just not very patient though. It is taking a long time!

See a statement like that just screams for bondage with consequences. So nothing is sexier than a woman having to choose between sometime that feels really good but with a price. Or just sitting still and nothing happening.

 

[madetotakeit]

Women like bad boys, it’s been known since when the days were young, women love danger, rebels, those that break the rules. Why, it’s the excitement, the thrill, the possible danger. But more importantly they feel more secure with guys that tend to take charge and do what they believe is right, they have that confidence that women do like. Sounds like in your case you want that a bit but you want to be controlled and ruled during all this, ..., you want him to take you to the edge, to push you past the simple shit the nice guys might do. You want that element the bad boys has but a bit more than even that, you want him to delve into your mind and learn you as you truly are inside and can’t show most people and then treat you as his bitch. Whatever he wants you do it, if you fight back he chains you up, you lash back he binds your wrist, you bite him in anger, he gags you. You want someone to get into your mind and then twist and turn you until you are left howling, you want that craziness that goes with someone that can push you and still own your ass that goes beyond mere words.

In a word...yes.

 

[Netzach]

Women like bad boys, it’s been known since when the days were young, women love danger, rebels, those that break the rules. Why, it’s the excitement, the thrill, the possible danger. But more importantly they feel more secure with guys that tend to take charge and do what they believe is right, they have that confidence that women do like. Sounds like in your case you want that a bit but you want to be controlled and ruled during all this, you want that type of asshole that can drop you at a dime if you don’t do what he says, you want him to take you to the edge, to push you past the simple shit the nice guys might do. You want that element the bad boys has but a bit more than even that, you want him to delve into your mind and learn you as you truly are inside and can’t show most people and then treat you as his bitch. Whatever he wants you do it, if you fight back he chains you up, you lash back he binds your wrist, you bite him in anger, he gags you. You want someone to get into your mind and then twist and turn you until you are left howling, you want that craziness that goes with someone that can push you and still own your ass that goes beyond mere words.

I call horse shit. Sexy, but horse shit.

1. I have a pussy, and this icon doesn't do it for me. "women" aren't a monolithic demographic, we're half the world. We don't want the same thing any more than all men want the same thing. Sure, all men want sex, but what that looks or sounds like is as interesting as the snowflakes.

I don't need someone bordering on anti social or far worse, some tame yuppie in a leather jacket who thinks he's Svengali to "get me" to bare myself to him. I need someone who can outthink, outclass, and reassure me that I'm not going to be made an idiot of. In other words, I need to feel very fucking safe, completely the opposite of the OP, perhaps. Barney Badass (I miss AA) is not going to cover this ground sufficiently.

Not that anyone doing the pop psych research cares what I want but I want someone who has enough spine to take care of himself in the big bad world, take care of me when I'm down and enough self-confidence to be honest about how much doing what I say, and letting me drive, sexually, gets him off - at least some of the time. The kind of guy who can get assfucked or put on panties without his entire identity crashing down. That's pretty badass actually, and if the vast majority of women aren't turned on by it, hurrah, more for me.


2. All that superbadass bs following the statement, yeah, again, I'm a do-er. I hear someone run that by me and they might be asking me if I want a cold enema or a raw piece of turkey. For a lot of women I'm sure it sounds great. Your good date with them would be me pressing charges.

 

[minx1]

I love nice guys. There has to be a foundation of fairness and respect before I'm interested in them doing nasty things to me.

*nods* I'm withyou Fury

I have been looking for a nice guys all my life.

That's all I want. Sometimes I am lucky and I have had some wonderful relationships with lovely men. Othertimes, when I'm not so lucky I get a bad guy...generally when I do, I will ultimately end it. It holds no appeal to me at all.

 

[rinka]

I've had some crushes on semi-bad boys earlier when I was younger. For me I think it was more wanting to see them open up, show me their sweet side, bringing light in the darkness and all that romantic crap.

But as an adult, and a parent I would never want a relationship with someone I didn't feel was secure and confident enough to be emotionally available and real.

And to even think about really submitting to a man I need to trust him, feel safe with him. I also need to respect him and feel that he respects me as well. I couldn't let myself be torn apart by someone I didn't believe would help put me back together again and look at me with affection afterwards.

Nor would I let someone lead me and dominate me who didn't share my basic values and who didn't relate to other people in a responsible and empathic way.

So bring on a nice guy, please!

 

[ataxia.girl]

Bastard is someone who will put ya in the cage you crave and then fuck someone else and let you watch and drool and cry and dont give a damn about if you wanna be the bitch hes taking right infront of your eyes. Once its over he will come to your cage and tell you "Did ya like that?" and then he will leave and let you just like that. Hurt, sad and wondering "how could you...". Bastard wont give you what you need, simply because hes the bastard lol. Think thats what Snooze was trying to tell you.

That just kinda makes me hot. Uncle Jackass watched other weird porn on his laptop and chatted with other people and watched other girls on cam while he used me and my holes when i went to see him. Complete objectification. i quite honestly really liked being used like that. i didn't like the leaving part, the part where i went all that way and that was all their was.

i just have not met that many nice guys who WANT to go to that place. I've met a few who say they do because they know i want it but that is NOT the same. Frankly i don't even like to say what i like anymore because everyone is so willing to oblige whether its their thing or not.

As for the bastard part that comes from a nickname i gave the Master\Daddy who unlocked these desires in me. i call him my Bastard Daddy. i mentioned in the "Help" thread he opened up the little girl thing in me and then decided he didn't want that. It wasn't his fault really, he thought maybe he would want it and tried it in order to get me to submit and was fucking freaking awesome at it but it just wasn't what he wanted and we both refused to fake anything for the other's benefit. i would dress up as he liked and do as he liked but afterward i always want my little girl tuck in time and wait for it expectantly and he wanted the surrender of a slave who did not have expectations.

i wanted what he gave me a long taste of in the beginning but he would not give again. i submitted over and over waiting for it but did not get it after he decided was not what he wanted and was just too sad for me so he stopped using me. i never really told him no. He says i am like a "little slave". He was an old Master\Daddy who i never met RT, i just did vile things on cam for him and non vile things, he liked lots of stuff. i have never found another who could use a girl online like he could. i think was the combination of his experience and the fact that we were both in situations where online had to work, where any RT was going to be very very limited.

 

[ataxia.girl]

I don't need someone bordering on anti social or far worse, some tame yuppie in a leather jacket who thinks he's Svengali to "get me" to bare myself to him. I need someone who can outthink, outclass, and reassure me that I'm not going to be made an idiot of. In other words, I need to feel very fucking safe, completely the opposite of the OP, perhaps. Barney Badass (I miss AA) is not going to cover this ground sufficiently.

Not that anyone doing the pop psych research cares what I want but I want someone who has enough spine to take care of himself in the big bad world, take care of me when I'm down and enough self-confidence to be honest about how much doing what I say, and letting me drive, sexually, gets him off - at least some of the time. The kind of guy who can get assfucked or put on panties without his entire identity crashing down. That's pretty badass actually, and if the vast majority of women aren't turned on by it, hurrah, more for me.

hmm i need to think on this one. i've never really felt unsafe and physical danger isn't actually a big thrill for me though i think things i have said may make it seem like it is. Emotional risk is though for sure but part of that is about me wanting to test what effect i can have. i guess i already know i can get a nice guy and i want to see what i can do with a not so nice one.

Funny you talk about wanting someone who can take it in the ass. i've been crushed and pouty for a few hours upon finding out a Dom's submissive fantasies and then found i respected them more for being okay with it and themselves and expecting me to do the same.

The problem with most Jackass quasi sociopaths is they're just real real lazy and not very creative or even smart.

Ya'll are starting to convince me

 

[SinfulSailor]

If a nice-guy non-sadist is hurting me for our "mutual" pleasure then well... i'll pass for the most part.

That is very not pc. But it is s&m.

I don't care what the I'm ok, you're ok, come-on-in-the-water's-fine, all inclusive, How-To bdsm books tell us. What I think you've discovered is that it's imaginary (play) (we use apt terminology) s&m - not s&m. And if you're like me you crave reality sensations and emotions.

I think I understand what you're saying because I am the flip side of that. I do not want to be a masseuse self-titled as a sadist.

Indeed, my feelings about it may be even a bit more emphatic than yours. I not only find it without interest, I find it decidedly off-putting.

 

[Netzach]

hmm i need to think on this one. i've never really felt unsafe and physical danger isn't actually a big thrill for me though i think things i have said may make it seem like it is. Emotional risk is though for sure but part of that is about me wanting to test what effect i can have. i guess i already know i can get a nice guy and i want to see what i can do with a not so nice one.

Funny you talk about wanting someone who can take it in the ass. i've been crushed and pouty for a few hours upon finding out a Dom's submissive fantasies and then found i respected them more for being okay with it and themselves and expecting me to do the same.

The problem with most Jackass quasi sociopaths is they're just real real lazy and not very creative or even smart.

Ya'll are starting to convince me

I never had celebri-crush on Trent Reznor till I saw him in interview. Then it was like "Oh! You are a baby lipped midwestern kid with a weird nose on the surface. Utterly normal."

 

[ataxia.girl]

I never had celebri-crush on Trent Reznor till I saw him in interview. Then it was like "Oh! You are a baby lipped midwestern kid with a weird nose on the surface. Utterly normal."

Beck is mine. i luv him and he is not Dommy at all.

 

[ataxia.girl]

That is very not pc. But it is s&m.

I don't care what the I'm ok, you're ok, come-on-in-the-water's-fine, all inclusive, How-To bdsm books tell us. What I think you've discovered is that it's imaginary (play) (we use apt terminology) s&m - not s&m. And if you're like me you crave reality sensations and emotions.

I think I understand what you're saying because I am the flip side of that. I do not want to be a masseuse self-titled as a sadist.

Indeed, my feelings about it may be even a bit more emphatic than yours. I not only find it without interest, I find it decidedly off-putting.

YES YES YES

i find it offputting sometimes but i like being used just for sexual gratification enough that i can get over it. i do have plenty of guys that tell me constantly they are willing to do whatever i want, go wherever i want to make me happy which is....well....exactly the opposite of what i want. Service tops don't really interest me. It isn't that i don't respect them its just not what i am looking for.

 

[Primalex]

One the other hand, the nice guy with an evil twist can give you all your slutty heart desire

No, he can't.

Power is the willingness to bear the consequences of the action. A nice guy has an inherent limit of the power he can achieve.

 

[ataxia.girl]

No, he can't.

Power is the willingness to bear the consequences of the action. A nice guy has an inherent limit of the power he can achieve.

This why i submit to men like Uncle Jackass. There is an inherent uncertainty and emotional risk. Without the uncertainty it feels like pretend.

i am not completely stupid, i mean i am a little stupid but no more stupid than say a sky diver or a base jumper. i was not really worried about my physical well being but i did take a big emotional risk, a gamble, it didn't pay off. That is what happens sometimes when you play that game.

 

[Primalex]

i was not really worried about my physical well being but i did take a big emotional risk, a gamble, it didn't pay off. That is what happens sometimes when you play that game.

Life is a series of emotional risks and pain. The important part is to know the rules of the game.

 

[Netzach]

No, he can't.

Power is the willingness to bear the consequences of the action. A nice guy has an inherent limit of the power he can achieve.

So does an asshole. Everyone takes their crayons and goes home and he's left with his internal empire.

I say this as an asshole myself.

 

[midwestyankee]

So does an asshole. Everyone takes their crayons and goes home and he's left with his internal empire.

I say this as an asshole myself.

Yes, but you do such good work with your crayons.

 

[ataxia.girl]

So does an asshole. Everyone takes their crayons and goes home and he's left with his internal empire.

I say this as an asshole myself.

Well to be honest i do take a grim enjoyment in assaulting that empire. i am not without power and i like weilding it. i like not holding back. Part of being submissive is letting go and that means letting go of the internal checks on the parts of me that can hurt other people to. This is a lot what the ageplay piece is for me as well. Little children say whatever pops into their little heads. They react geniunely. They try to please but not through artifice, or through an artifice that is not at all sophisticated. i very much enjoy this aspect. i am not a little child however so sometimes the things that come out my mouth hurt a lot worse than a 5 year old saying "i hate you!".

 

[Evil_Geoff]

... I want the man who can at one moment make me feel loved above all else, turn around hurt and debase me, and then make me feel loved again. He sees all of me and as a result I would feel free to love completely. I need a balance, someone who sees the smile in my eyes and the tears running from my eyes and reacts to them equally.

... They have to need it as much as i do.

Y'all DO realize that I'm single, right?

 

[ataxia.girl]

Y'all DO realize that I'm single, right?

i wondered when you would come say hi

 

[Evil_Geoff]

i wondered when you would come say hi

I was busy over the weekend...

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

No, he can't.

Power is the willingness to bear the consequences of the action. A nice guy has an inherent limit of the power he can achieve.

he he he

We obviously do not talk about the same "nice guys"!!

Because those I know do achive THE POWER.

 

[TerragonSix]

See the problem is that nice guys have the stigma of not being able to do what needs to be done... on an emotional or physical level.

Niceness always seems to be mistaken with weakness. That can be a very bad mistake.

 

[ataxia.girl]

See the problem is that nice guys have the stigma of not being able to do what needs to be done... on an emotional or physical level.

Why does it need to be done? The difference to me is the nice guy's motivation. i'm just not sold that they need to do it for themselves but perhaps that is because i haven't met one who does yet.

 

[ataxia.girl]

he he he

We obviously do not talk about the same "nice guys"!!

Because those I know do achive THE POWER.

Yes but will he take me to a party and charge his buddies a quarter each for me to blow them and will he let me take my teddy bear with me? Or better yet will he have something far more twisted in his own mind?

 

[YourCaptor]

You know this is a lot of talk about something you have so little control over.

When you fall for a guy you just fall for him, whether you want too or not.