Passive-Aggressive personality: Norm personality for a switch?

[TerragonSix]

Something I've been thinking about for awhile. I do consider myself a switch, and as such, I began to think, what exactly, makes a switch tick? How can someone be on both ends of the spectrum?

Some argue that there is no such thing as a '50-50' switch. In other words, no person can be 50% dominant, 50% switch. I could agree with that, because I don't think there is such thing as a perfect switch.. I'm more dominant than I am submissive. Some are more submissive than dominant.

I was sitting around, thinking one day, and I thought of the similarities between passive-aggressive personalities, and switches in BDSM.

So I started to research and here is what I found:

By definition, passive-personality disorder is a pervasive pattern of negativistic attitudes and passive resistance to demands for adequate performance.

Fair enough. We're not quite in switch land yet.

But... There is a hypothesis, called the five-factor model of behavior for passive-aggressive personality types:

1. High Neuroticism - for example, helplessness and dependance on others for emotional support and and decision making, as well as perfectionistic demands on self.

2. High Extraversion - for example, an inability to spend time alone; attention seeking and overly dramatic expression of emotions; reckless excitement seeking; inappropriate attempts to dominate and control others.

3. Low Openness - ex. - emotional blandness and inability to understand and verbalize own feelings; excessive conformity to authority.

4. Low Agreeableness - ex. - Cynicism and paranoid thinking; exploitive and manipulative; rude and inconsiderate manner, limits social support; lack of respect for social conventions; inflated and grandiose sense of self; arrogance.

5. High Conscientiousness - ex. - Overachievement; compulsiveness, including excessive cleanliness, tidiness, and attention to detail; rigid self-discipline.

Now, I'm not saying this is a glove-fit personality for switches, in fact, no personality is an exact fit for BDSM activities, or any other activities for that matter... We would fall into a stereotype if we did that.

But, a passive-aggressive personality is on both ends of the spectrum... uncomformative to authority on one side, then, in other activities, very comformative. Well, it would seem to fit the switch persona more than other personality types.

I don't know, just thinking about these things with nothing else to do.

 

[intothewoods]

I don't think so. I know passive-aggressive dominants, switches and subs. They're everywhere.

 

[BiBunny]

In a word, no.

One of the first things we learned as psych majors was that you can make any diagnosis or personality type fit anyone you know if you want to badly enough. So it may apply to you, but that can't be generalized across the board. Another thing is, practically no one fits those "types" perfectly. That's not the only reason the five-factor model fails as diagnostic criteria, either.

As for me, I'm low in neuroticism, low in extroversion, high in openness, high in agreeableness, and moderate in conscientiousness, and I'm a Top-leaning switch. That description doesn't fit any of the neat little "types" they've got set out.

*Shrug* I'm me.

 

[TerragonSix]

As said before, I'm not saying that being a switch is a glove fit for being passive-aggressive. I was trying to say that it would seem, at least on paper that a switch would fall more into that type. Of course there are passive-aggressive subs and doms, and there are no perfect answers in terms of personality types.

I was just thinking out loud I guess.

Speaking of switches, does anybody think there is such thing as a 50-50 switch?

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'm with BiBunny. I didn't ever see that psychology had all the answers, or even began to know what they were on about at times....after studying it at Uni it soon became obvious I wasn't misguided. For one thing, they change their hypothesis and theories regularly, sometimes hugely. For another, if you get talking to someone who is very obsessed with psychology (not usually someone who has formerly studied and understood it), they will label everything you say and do with some pathology....sort of a damned if you, damned if you don't type situation.

To then try and identify people into the lifestyle with a psyche definition in terms of personality disorders etc., it is going back to what so many who do not get what we do continually assert, that we are all fucked up otherwise we wouldn't want to do what we do. People are people, we are all different..as such, we all have different triggers, different wants/needs, and different experiences and different personalities. That's why we are all so damned unique and adorable.

Catalina

 

[BiBunny]

As said before, I'm not saying that being a switch is a glove fit for being passive-aggressive. I was trying to say that it would seem, at least on paper that a switch would fall more into that type. Of course there are passive-aggressive subs and doms, and there are no perfect answers in terms of personality types.

I was just thinking out loud I guess.

Speaking of switches, does anybody think there is such thing as a 50-50 switch?

WHY would it seem that way on paper? I mean, highly dependent? I think not. And why extroverted? The best play partners I've ever had were switches, and the best of those were very, very perceptive. Most--not all, but most--perceptive people are at least somewhat introverted. And all switches are closed-minded and rude? I don't think so. I don't see what any of this has to do with BDSM, really.

I think you're trying too hard to extrapolate your own experiences into those of everyone else.

 

[Netzach]

My Grandmother was brunette prior to gray.

She's passive aggressive.

Brunettes are more liable to be passive aggressive.

 

[Netzach]

As said before, I'm not saying that being a switch is a glove fit for being passive-aggressive. I was trying to say that it would seem, at least on paper that a switch would fall more into that type.

Huh? Why?

As for 50/50 I think they're out there, but they're about as common as 100 percent Dominants. Hardly.

 

[midwestyankee]

Huh? Why?

As for 50/50 I think they're out there, but they're about as common as 100 percent Dominants. Hardly.

Exactly. It's really hard to keep your footing at the very top of the bell curve. And it's a slippery slope once you start down the incline.

 

[Netzach]

Exactly. It's really hard to keep your footing at the very top of the bell curve. And it's a slippery slope once you start down the incline.

I disagree with the latter part, actually. I do know people who stay very happily wedged into the architecture of a multi-person setup where they have person to answer to and people who answer to them.

 

[midwestyankee]

I disagree with the latter part, actually. I do know people who stay very happily wedged into the architecture of a multi-person setup where they have person to answer to and people who answer to them.

I think that people like that have turned the bell curve into a two-hump camel, to torture my already weak-ass analogy a little further.

Truth be told, I was mostly trying to make light of the OP as I think it was a conclusion in search of actual data.

 

[DeservingBitch]

I always find it fascinating this desire to quantify personality and/or personal relationship, or sexual desire.

So, I'm queer, which in my case, means that I prefer women, but did have relationship with men in the past, and still fuck men for pay, and sometimes play with men in a BDSM context.

I'd love for someone to come up with a number to quantify my sexuality on the straight/gay spectrum. Stuff would get a bit more complicated if I add gender details, such that I'm mostly into bois/butches women, have played with mostly CD and/or girly boys, and now fuck mostly butch guys.

 

[midwestyankee]

I always find it fascinating this desire to quantify personality and/or personal relationship, or sexual desire.

So, I'm queer, which in my case, means that I prefer women, but did have relationship with men in the past, and still fuck men for pay, and sometimes play with men in a BDSM context.

I'd love for someone to come up with a number to quantify my sexuality on the straight/gay spectrum. Stuff would get a bit more complicated if I add gender details, such that I'm mostly into bois/butches women, have played with mostly CD and/or girly boys, and now fuck mostly butch guys.

17,387/144.86

 

[Shankara20]

I call myself a bi-switch as a sort of shorthand. And I use the idea of a continuum and where I'm located on it.

Top----------50/50--------bottom
straight-------50/50-------gay

I move all over the place depending on my mood, my needs, who and where I am. "50-50 switch" = not so much, more like a 75/25-25/75 switch.

Labels, for me, are problematic if used for more then a shorthand to keep a post short.

 

[TerragonSix]

You know, I wasn't really meaning to try to quantify personality/bdsm traits. People are different. Motives and reasonings are different. I really didn't mean to classify every single switch into passive-aggressive personality. I'm a switch, and neither hard-headed or extroverted.

It's just something I thought up.

I mean, just the term passive-aggressive. Define passive - remaining neutral or submissive during an event.

Define aggressive - to be active, or dominant during an event.

Passive-aggressive.

A switch, depending on their particular tastes and needs, decides to be dominant or submissive.

See what I mean?

Sorry if my words really irritated some people here.

 

[kinkyknickers]

Alrighty..... Well I am very much a switch (Mistress to my girlfriend and bottom maso to my boyfriend). It has turned out to be almost a perfect 50% 50% in my relationships with them. I dominate the_mgp whilst at the same time submitting to Master, in my own way.

I am not passive aggressive (and I just asked both of them for confirmation on this, it was a resounding definitely not).

Your general personality traits do not fit any part of me in any way. I can't speak for anyone else, but it couldn't be more far from the truth.

KK

 

[a_caged_cock]

I think the term passive-aggressive leads some to believe it is about being passive sometimes and aggressive at other times. My understanding is that it is a pattern of passive behavior that dominants a situation without "doing" anything aggressive.

An example would be the person who is always late, and makes others wait, and takes delight in knowing the meeting/work/date/whatever can't start until they get there.

 

[BiBunny]

I think the term passive-aggressive leads some to believe it is about being passive sometimes and aggressive at other times. My understanding is that it is a pattern of passive behavior that dominants a situation without "doing" anything aggressive.

An example would be the person who is always late, and makes others wait, and takes delight in knowing the meeting/work/date/whatever can't start until they get there.

Right. It's someone who tries to undermine everything going on around them, but doesn't have the balls to be upfront about it. Basically, passive-aggressive is a whiny, selfish little coward who wants the world to revolve around him/her, but only goes about making it happen in underhanded ways. The perennial backstabber, as it were.

Which is why I have no idea what this has to do with being a switch.

 

[DeservingBitch]

17,387/144.86

I'd be interested, just out of bored curiosity, to know how you came up with that number.

Unless you just pulled it out of your ass, which is actually my first bet.

 

[midwestyankee]

I'd be interested, just out of bored curiosity, to know how you came up with that number.

Unless you just pulled it out of your ass, which is actually my first bet.

Les jeux sont faits, mesdames et messieurs, les jeux sont faits.

 

[John Doe]

Nope.

 

[unfoundiamond]

hmm.

Something I've been thinking about for awhile. I do consider myself a switch, and as such, I began to think, what exactly, makes a switch tick? How can someone be on both ends of the spectrum?

Some argue that there is no such thing as a '50-50' switch. In other words, no person can be 50% dominant, 50% switch. I could agree with that, because I don't think there is such thing as a perfect switch.. I'm more dominant than I am submissive. Some are more submissive than dominant.

I was sitting around, thinking one day, and I thought of the similarities between passive-aggressive personalities, and switches in BDSM.

So I started to research and here is what I found:

By definition, passive-personality disorder is a pervasive pattern of negativistic attitudes and passive resistance to demands for adequate performance.

Fair enough. We're not quite in switch land yet.

But... There is a hypothesis, called the five-factor model of behavior for passive-aggressive personality types:

1. High Neuroticism - for example, helplessness and dependance on others for emotional support and and decision making, as well as perfectionistic demands on self.

2. High Extraversion - for example, an inability to spend time alone; attention seeking and overly dramatic expression of emotions; reckless excitement seeking; inappropriate attempts to dominate and control others.

3. Low Openness - ex. - emotional blandness and inability to understand and verbalize own feelings; excessive conformity to authority.

4. Low Agreeableness - ex. - Cynicism and paranoid thinking; exploitive and manipulative; rude and inconsiderate manner, limits social support; lack of respect for social conventions; inflated and grandiose sense of self; arrogance.

5. High Conscientiousness - ex. - Overachievement; compulsiveness, including excessive cleanliness, tidiness, and attention to detail; rigid self-discipline.

Now, I'm not saying this is a glove-fit personality for switches, in fact, no personality is an exact fit for BDSM activities, or any other activities for that matter... We would fall into a stereotype if we did that.

But, a passive-aggressive personality is on both ends of the spectrum... uncomformative to authority on one side, then, in other activities, very comformative. Well, it would seem to fit the switch persona more than other personality types.

I don't know, just thinking about these things with nothing else to do.

I dont like hearing you call me passive aggressive, but i do appreciate your research and see that i have not all but at least two of the five character indicators of the list.

I preffer to think i have a bad temper from being spanish and german....

ratios dont describe it

 

[unfoundiamond]

lets get lable crazy

I always find it fascinating this desire to quantify personality and/or personal relationship, or sexual desire.

So, I'm queer, which in my case, means that I prefer women, but did have relationship with men in the past, and still fuck men for pay, and sometimes play with men in a BDSM context.

I'd love for someone to come up with a number to quantify my sexuality on the straight/gay spectrum. Stuff would get a bit more complicated if I add gender details, such that I'm mostly into bois/butches women, have played with mostly CD and/or girly boys, and now fuck mostly butch guys.

I fuck for fun, and only when i decide to, but i also enjoy women, andro or not, and also enjoy fucking straight alpha male types, I will also play with either, and will or am top/switch/bottom/sadist/sub/masochist,

and i also used to identify as transgendered, and am now a femme female whitch hits on and flirts with both men and women

 

[Essene]

Been thinking about this. Don't know about passive-aggressive. I know that I've had relationships where myself and the other party did this whole passive-aggressive dance...but I don't think that defines me in a normal situation with other decently functioning people.

With me I'm either hormonal or not hormonal.