blind folds

[cherrybaby]

(yes i searched this forum)

so i'm scared of them. the idea of not being able to see what's going on around me makes me feel panicky. it's not that i don't trust, but i'm terrified of them. irrational ...yes.

anyone get past it, and how'd you do it?

thanks.

 

[Fauna]

The reasons you are afraid of them are the reasons that blindfolds turn me on. I love the element of surprise I can have with them.

I know thats not the answer you are looking for, but maybe that will help you understand why some of us like to use them.

 

[YourCaptor]

If you got a lover playing with you, maybe do some cuddling when the blindfold goes on, heighten the trust.

You could also try a trust exercise, those are loads of fun. Have him guide you through the house when you are blindfolded.

Are you afraid of the dark by any chance?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Perhaps using the other person's hand as the blindfold initially, and for a few times, to ease the panic. I know what it is like. I used to love blindfolds and bondage, but due to some life events which really don;t make sense to me but seem to have been the same time as it all began, I have developed major panic attacks over both...combine them and you will have a near full mental collapse on your hands. I only have to see blindfolds and ropes/restraints some days to begin hyperventilating...other days I don;t react until they get placed on me...some days I am beginning to long for it but fear the panic again. It takes time for some I suspect.

Catalina

 

[Qyron]

Although I can understand the reasons why many people enjoy the use of blindfolds, I discovered its much more simple and enjoyable to simply require the sub to keep eyes shut as I do/prepare whatever I've came up with.

Why don't you start by this? It's a middle ground, where you can retain a little bit more of control and improve your self-control.
You can then start by some trust exercises like it was suggested before.

If you problem is something else - fear of the dark, phobia, etc - then you're dealing in a totally different kind of situation.

 

[madetotakeit]

That momentary onset of panic is one of the things that draw me to enjoying blindfolds the most. The rush of adrenaline caused by the removal of the sense I rely on the most. It all comes down to trust of who you are with. Regardless of who I am with there is fear in the beginning. It is all a matter of how that adrenaline rush is used to advantage. It can be intensified by words and actions just as it can be negated into something sensual.

In either case it is something that I have loved in the past and have missed because I haven't had that trust to let it be done in a long time. Once that fear is absorbed however it greatly intensifies whatever happens. It's a great thing to have in the arsenal of possibilities. Why do I keep going back? It's similar to watching something that I know is going to scare me. It's not just a matter of testing myself. It is an addiction to the rush.

Find someone you trust, go slow, step at a time. As was mentioned maybe start with a hand, progress to cloth draped over your eyes but not tightened so you feel it is easily removed. Move to having it tightened only when you feel comfortable. Go at your own pace.

 

[catalina_francisco]

It all comes down to trust of who you are with.

I wish it were true, but it isn't always the case. If it were, I would not be still having the issues I am with things I once loved, never ever had a problem with even with casual play partners, still long for, but can no longer guarantee how I will react from on day to the next.

Catalina

 

[Lilith]

Have you used them when you were alone? That may be the first baby step.

 

[cherrybaby]

thanks everyone for your insight. yes, i've tried using them alone, and i still panic. i'm not afraid of the dark, and i do trust him. his hand over my eyes is a good idea. it would make me feel safer. this isn't a trust issue for me - it's about the feeling of total loss of control, i think.

 

[myinnerslut]

sight is a very touchy issue with me. simply removing my glasses will make me nervouse or scared in most situations. my eysght is 20/480, so without glasses i am largely unable to see.

actually covering my eyes makes me scared as well. if i am not bound and have freedom to move i usually curl into mysef as an automatic response. however, once i get used to having my sight removed i really enjoy the unpredicatbility and vulnerability that come with being blindfolded.

to get over the fear, try being blindfolded while your SO is holding you. contact might make you less afraid.

 

[OneLustyWench]

Options

Start small, hands over eyes is OK but why not try sheer scarves. Get used to the feeling and gradually make it darker.

I love the sensation but yes, it's that little bit of fear, of not knowing. I've never panicked, but it is there as a possiblity. It's the trust and relationship that pushes you through it to make it exciting and inviting and erotic.

 

[ataxia.girl]

thanks everyone for your insight. yes, i've tried using them alone, and i still panic. i'm not afraid of the dark, and i do trust him. his hand over my eyes is a good idea. it would make me feel safer. this isn't a trust issue for me - it's about the feeling of total loss of control, i think.

Since you panic when alone perhaps from the feeling of total loss of control do you think you could spin it in your mind so that it was less scary when he was with you? Presumably you do not need to have any control as he is there controlling everything. i understand you are having an automatic reaction just wondering if you could sort of talk yourself out of it in that way by reminding yourself that he is there making sure everything is okay.

So rather than focusing on the fact that you trust him NOT to do certain things to hurt you etc, trust him to take care of ANYTHING that may happen while you have no control. If he isn't already, perhaps if he spoke constantly and kept physical contact with you to reassure you.

i personally hate blindfolds and have no qualms about peeking and adjusting them whenever possible so that i can see a little bit just because i find them completely annoying and i also like getting in trouble for messing with them

 

[cherrybaby]

So rather than focusing on the fact that you trust him NOT to do certain things to hurt you etc, trust him to take care of ANYTHING that may happen while you have no control. If he isn't already, perhaps if he spoke constantly and kept physical contact with you to reassure you.

that was brilliant. thank you.

actually covering my eyes makes me scared as well. if i am not bound and have freedom to move i usually curl into mysef as an automatic response. however, once i get used to having my sight removed i really enjoy the unpredicatbility and vulnerability that come with being blindfolded.

to get over the fear, try being blindfolded while your SO is holding you. contact might make you less afraid.

right, i think his hand over my eyes would work, because i could feel him there, and he makes me feel safe.

i hate not being able to see and automatically feel overcome with fear. plus, i feel a bit dizzy, but maybe that's the adrenaline rush of fear, which oddly enough i enjoy.

Start small, hands over eyes is OK but why not try sheer scarves. Get used to the feeling and gradually make it darker.

I love the sensation but yes, it's that little bit of fear, of not knowing. I've never panicked, but it is there as a possiblity. It's the trust and relationship that pushes you through it to make it exciting and inviting and erotic.

sheer scarf.... not a bad idea, at least i'd have a little visibility, but then i'd feel like a failure. stupid, i know.

yeah, i'm all about pushing myself, and being pushed out of my comfort zone. even if the blindfold has me beat....for now.

 

[Roleplay_Mom]

To me, the fear, anticipation, and chill bumps are the entire reason I enjoy blindfolds.

 

[subwannabe]

I hope you overcome your fear but don't be afraid to accept the fact that this is one of your little quirks and you may have to adjust to the fact that it does not make for a pleasurable experience for you and never will. Good luck.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I had a fear of hoods. So my Daddy ordered me to design and sew one, but with eye openings. Designing it and sewing it made me more comfortable with it. I had to try it on many times to make sure it fit correctly. The first time I wore it for him I used it without a blindfold over the eye openings, the next time my eyes were covered. I can't say I enjoyed it, but I was able to do it without freaking out so the method worked.

Maybe in your case making a blindfold somewhat like a mask with little holes for the eyes to start out with would help? Then move on to more and more of the eyes being covered.