First-timer seeking feedback

[JohnBous]

Hi everyone,

I've just posted my first short, Sleeping Beauty, and I would be grateful for any feedback - particularly relating to the writing style.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=370805

John

 

[The_Fractal_King]

Read and commented. Congratulations on taking the dive into writing.

 

[JohnBous]

Read and commented. Congratulations on taking the dive into writing.

A sincere, thank you. Your comments are much appreciated and (fortunately!) agreed with. My next submission will be a little more substantial, and thanks to both the positive comments and broadly positive voting, I will be approaching this with a little more confidence.

John

 

[elfin_odalisque]

I pretty much go with fractal. The writing is high quality and less typo glitches than in many posts here.

Sure, it is very short and that restricts you in story development, but a vignette can be a good way to publicize a new writer. You do get a twist in the tale/tail, even if it is a trick that has been used a zillion times before.

For what it's worth, I would suggest you try something longer - a lit page is about 7 word pages - and expand your plotting.

Dialogue is always a help to get the reader into the action and lets you avoid some explanation. Feeling empathy with characters helps too.

Pretty damn good start, now please, write some more.

Elle