Should gay couples raise kids?

[BoomerP]

What do you think?

Some people like to argue that the child won't have a good time growing up, he or she will be teased or the parents wont be good rolemodels, good parents and stuff.

Any couples that want to start a family have to ask themselves if they can support a child or if they would be good parents and give him or her a stable home. That's not a luxary regular couples dont have to ask themselves right? And if they don't think so then they shouldn't

I have thought of three reasons why!

1) Anything beats growing up in an orphanage

2) Global population, it would slow that down

3) People are more open minded about it now then before and it will get more accepted with time and become less of an issue and focus

 

[Wolfman1982]

ParrishP: my answer is short, and simple. And that is yes.

 

[emap]

Oh heck gay couples raising a child has been looked down on for two reasons, it's sorta new, and their priest has been screaming that it is wrong and any child raised in that environment would turn out the same as the so called parents.

The different part is losing it's shock, and priests are not being listened to as much because of the loss of shock value.

Give it another ten years and nobody will care who adopts a child as long as there are two of them. Well not quite nobody but close enough.

 

[_LovelyOne_]

...I absolutely think its ok for gays to raise children...I'm not gay....I think they should be afforded the same rights I am...Love is love...

 

[Vail_Indigo]

what I always find funny is when people talk as if gay couples will raise gay children.
Obviously, I have zero problem with that idea, what they seem to forget is that virtually 100% of all gays come from straight parents.

Of course, this is just one item on the list of things the fearful and closed-minded don't like to think about because it doesn't fit their worldview.

 

[infinity706]

what I always find funny is when people talk as if gay couples will raise gay children.
Obviously, I have zero problem with that idea, what they seem to forget is that virtually 100% of all gays come from straight parents.

Of course, this is just one item on the list of things the fearful and closed-minded don't like to think about because it doesn't fit their worldview.

Of course, they're not really straight men and women. The just fuck the same sex because it's acceptable.

That's about the answer you'd get. Of course, I subscribe to the theory that pretty much everyone is bi to an extent, so I can't really get too worked up over it.

 

[thetwolezz]

Question everything.

what I always find funny is when people talk as if gay couples will raise gay children.
Obviously, I have zero problem with that idea, what they seem to forget is that virtually 100% of all gays come from straight parents.

Of course, this is just one item on the list of things the fearful and closed-minded don't like to think about because it doesn't fit their worldview.

I think we're headed down a path now in the US where more generations are used to seeing gay men and women and their families. Don't get me wrong...it's going to take A LONG TIME still for homosexuals to be considered equal in marriage and child rearing, but I think the small steps that are being taken enable us to work toward a better future.
There are still older generations that couldn't even IMAGINE homosexuals, let alone homosexual parents. But eh, the time WILL come.
As for me and my partner, we have four wonderful children at home and they are well adjusted IMO. Our youngest is 12 and she is very strong minded, strong willed and happy. We have raised her to love everyone, question everything, and be kind.

 

[Chicklet]

I went to school with three children who were raised by same-sex couples. One of the children I went through High School with was, in fact, an artificially inseminated baby specifically meant for two women. One of the children was raised by two men, and two were raised by two women.

They were just like any other kids. I disliked two, because I disliked most of the school.

The one I did like was really awesome. One day he showed up to school with two reporters following him around. It was his 16th birthday, and the reporters pulled each of his friends aside to ask why we thought they were following him around. The answer was that his birth was a big deal, as a child of two lesbians, and they were doing a follow-up story. As far as I know, none of us knew that it was a big deal. The reporters seemed surprised.

I think that kids need stable families, and it matters less than shit what the orientation or sexuality of those parents is.

 

[Vail_Indigo]

Of course, they're not really straight men and women. The just fuck the same sex because it's acceptable.

That's about the answer you'd get. Of course, I subscribe to the theory that pretty much everyone is bi to an extent, so I can't really get too worked up over it.

heh...try telling that to a lesbian or gay man.
I've always found it funny that the phrase "everyone is a little bi" only seems to apply to those straight folks

 

[emap]

I'm going to interject a little something at this point. the two actually you are wrong, people have known about homosexuals and bisexuals since well before time was thought up.

They are not talked about terribly openly in most societies, generally it has been more maybe there is a reason why she lives with that friend. Everyone knew that women slept with women, that guy slept with guys. The only difference between now and then, people talk about it.

Talking about it is in some ways a good thing, a homosexual does not have to hide their inclinations behind closed doors nearly as much. Bisexuals are more or less accepted in most everywhere besides small towns. It also has a downside, people want to know every tiny little thing about everyone else, not because it maters, because then they can find a new way to group people and shove them away.

It's really only a new way of segregating people, since color can't be used anymore, gay and bisexual are. It's the same elephant, just a different color, so people ignore it/let it pass/don't care because it's not related to them. Luckily this one does relate to way more people so it's going to be alot shorter lived.

 

[Davetmat]

Heck, I see some straight people raising kids and wonder should they be allowed?

 

[infinity706]

heh...try telling that to a lesbian or gay man.
I've always found it funny that the phrase "everyone is a little bi" only seems to apply to those straight folks

Oh, I tell gays and lesbians, too. If I make a a statement about "everyone" I seriously mean everyone. I think lesbians just like women far more than average and gays like guys far more than average. I have a feeling there's still a chance that they might eventually go after someone of the opposite sex and really enjoy it. Besides, being bi gives you more options. I know it can happen because once, I considered myself straight, and was actually a bit homophobic. One day, that ended up dissolving away, though...

 

[thetwolezz]

gay

Oh, I tell gays and lesbians, too. If I make a a statement about "everyone" I seriously mean everyone. I think lesbians just like women far more than average and gays like guys far more than average. I have a feeling there's still a chance that they might eventually go after someone of the opposite sex and really enjoy it. Besides, being bi gives you more options. I know it can happen because once, I considered myself straight, and was actually a bit homophobic. One day, that ended up dissolving away, though...

Although this thread has strayed from the "gay couples raise kids" subject, I agree with infinity that although you may be in a relationship with one sex, it doesn't mean the other cannot be appealing. I used to always think I was straight, no doubt. I had these tendencies to steal glances at women, though. And then, when I became curious, and decided to see what having sex with a woman was all about, suddenly I became bi. Now that I'm in a loving relationship with a woman, I'm lesbian!? I'm not downplaying a persons feelings. If you say you're gay, you're gay. Or straight. Or bi. Whatever. I'm in LOVE with a woman so I spose I'm gay. We're all about labeling what is going on around us. Call me what you like, just let me live my life, take care of my children, and stop questioning whether I'm doing a good job (not directed to anyone, but those questioning whether gays make good parents).

 

[Wolfman1982]

Well ParrishP´s question was up and running alongside the issue about artificial insemination last year (or was it two years ago ?) in Folketinget in Denmark. And whether the politicians were for or against. Then I don´t care since the age old battle between the "Christian" minded people vs. the open minded just goes on, even on Christiansborg. So I say "fuck it", and vote yes all the way. Since we all are humans and being unfit as a parent has nothing to do with you are either homo, hetero, bi, or for that matter Transsexual. It is something completely different that choose that. So yes, GLBT couples should raise kids, if they wanted to.

 

[DarkBee]

Heck, I see some straight people raising kids and wonder should they be allowed?

Totally agree, so why should two gay people in a stable relationship not have children?

 

[kbate]

I'll answer with some conviction in about 18 years. Until then - I'll keep the matter under consideration and study it closely.

 

[littleninja]

Heck, I see some straight people raising kids and wonder should they be allowed?

Sometimes it seems like that's all I see. Sometimes I think you should have to qualify to raise kids.... but then that opens up a whole other can of worms, doesn't it?

I was raised by a single mom in a community where divorced people most assuredly were headed for hell..... the judgement in the community was probably really hard on my mom but I didn't notice all that much. You accept the reality you're raised with, you learn the stuff you're taught, and then you grow up and fall in love with whoever you fall in love with.

Which means that I'm in agreement with pretty much every poster thus far.

 

[sally_ja_hawkins]

I've never heard any argument against gay or lesbian couples adopting which holds even a drop of water.

But what about couples who 'conceive' their 'own' baby through donor sperm or egg, but raise the child as if he/she were the natural child of the couple equally. In reality, one is a real parent, the other is pretending, and the other natural parent (whose legal rights and obligations are not fully codified) is airbrushed out of the picture.

I'm a lesbian, and in some ways the idea of motherhood appeals - but there's something about this kind of arrangement which...I don't know how to put this...doesn't feel quite right. I'm not saying it's wrong, necessarily - but it feels ethically confused, to me.

 

[Chicklet]

I'm a lesbian, and in some ways the idea of motherhood appeals - but there's something about this kind of arrangement which...I don't know how to put this...doesn't feel quite right. I'm not saying it's wrong, necessarily - but it feels ethically confused, to me.

I understand how it might feel weird to some people.

The beautiful thing is that if it doesn't feel right to you, you don't need to do it = )

To me, there's a big difference between the feelings I have, the things I believe are unethical, and the things I think are downright wrong. I would personally feel weird in that situation myself, but I would never judge someone else for doing it.

Wait, I'm a liar. I'd judge them, even though I don't really know how, but I wouldn't dream of stopping them.

 

[Powertone]

I think it's a great idea that a child be brought up by homosexuals.Why should a child have to be raised by heterosexual couples only? I wish I'd been raised in a gay household.

 

[sally_ja_hawkins]

I understand how it might feel weird to some people.

The beautiful thing is that if it doesn't feel right to you, you don't need to do it = )

To me, there's a big difference between the feelings I have, the things I believe are unethical, and the things I think are downright wrong. I would personally feel weird in that situation myself, but I would never judge someone else for doing it.

Wait, I'm a liar. I'd judge them, even though I don't really know how, but I wouldn't dream of stopping them.

I think we agree that this is rather a complex issue. But how much weight should we attach to the argument that we should not bring a child into the world just for our own satisfaction? This applies, of course, equally to straight couples as gay ones.

 

[xPureAdorationx]

I'm going to interject a little something at this point. the two actually you are wrong, people have known about homosexuals and bisexuals since well before time was thought up.

They are not talked about terribly openly in most societies, generally it has been more maybe there is a reason why she lives with that friend. Everyone knew that women slept with women, that guy slept with guys. The only difference between now and then, people talk about it.

Talking about it is in some ways a good thing, a homosexual does not have to hide their inclinations behind closed doors nearly as much. Bisexuals are more or less accepted in most everywhere besides small towns. It also has a downside, people want to know every tiny little thing about everyone else, not because it maters, because then they can find a new way to group people and shove them away.

It's really only a new way of segregating people, since color can't be used anymore, gay and bisexual are. It's the same elephant, just a different color, so people ignore it/let it pass/don't care because it's not related to them. Luckily this one does relate to way more people so it's going to be alot shorter lived.

I liked what emap said about homosexuality being in the long run. How it's been around since the dawn of time. I find it ridiculous that more people are concerned about sexuality then they are concerned about their children sleeping with their teachers. If you think about it gay marriage being accepted in countries and such make the more larger and slander typed headlines and yet things like a college professor harassing a boy from highschool only makes town headlines. If people think about it there were men back then who slept with younger boys. There are accounts in history where men found other men more appealing then women. And women ditching their husbands for other women.

I forgot what article this was in, but people praised the artistry and culture of a painting of lesbians. Yet those same people were off protesting gay marriage. It really is bad. I myself was born in a strict catholic straight family. Though I ended up bisexual. I have a girlfriend who's pregnant, definitely not my child, but I still want to help her raise it.

Being an only child it was hard growing up, but I grew up around women. My father was never around during my childhood. I grew up perfectly fine. I go to Stanford university...I'm Ivy league material and you don't see anyone slandering my name. I don't know what to say only that people should really open their eyes. Gay parents are probably better than straight parents.

No offense to all the straight parents out there. But I think that because they're gay, they have more of an open mind when it comes to raising their children. They're more accepting of any faults the child has, because they themselves know how it feels to want to be accepted.

 

[desertslave]

Anatomy has nothing to do with whether you're a good parent or not. Why it matters to some people WHO someone loves just baffles me. We should be happy for anyone who's in a happy, loving relationship, and worry less about how they're expressing it.

 

[none2_none2]

I think we agree that this is rather a complex issue. But how much weight should we attach to the argument that we should not bring a child into the world just for our own satisfaction? This applies, of course, equally to straight couples as gay ones.

I don't think one should give it any weight.

Most kids are probably not brought into the world for someones ego satisfaction, but because a guy was hot, a girl let him have sex with her and either she wasn't on birth control or it wasn't working. So is that any less selfish to have kids as a product of irresponsible sex than it is because you wanted to be pregnant or sire a kid?

I think people make too much out of anything is selfish unless everybody on the planet is living in happiness & harmony and there are no children without homes anymore. How is it any less selfish when two people with disposable income decide to buy a big car that took resources to build and will take a lot of gasoline? Or what about the couple that decides to spend thousands of dollars to remodel
their kitchen or bathroom with products from all over the world such as marble, stone, tile, appliances, ... Or what about the gay couple that spends lots of money traveling the world with jet fuel or ship fuel?

Bottom line: Most things in life are not 100% free of some selfish angle to it. However, if you are willing to put your heart into whatever it is that you want to do and it doesn't hurt someone else, then who are we to judge it as being the wrong decision for them. Though I'm a guy, I cannot imagine lesbian pregnancy arrangements as being selfish. I cannot imagine all the pain that the pregnant woman goes through to have a baby being anything on the level of selfish.

As to gay guy couples, whether they adopt or use a surrogate, I think they have to ask themselves if they are up to that task. I do think that a big reason that many gay male relationships are so temporary is that there is no reason to ever restrain yourself sexuality. Since your partners cannot get pregnant, all you have to worry about is STD's. Thus many single or coupled guys make sexual freedom one of their top priorities. I'm not saying that kids fix bad relationships, but they are a family building endeavor. If a gay single or a swing couple (gay or str8) want to have a child, yet they want to have sex parties all the time, then they probably should reconsider having a child. It isn't about getting all churchy, but that kids have to have some stability and if the people raising them don't want to make the kids a priority, then this is probably something they shouldn't go do.

 

[Kain__Thornn]

Yes, good parents aren't always straight