The International Rules of Manhood

[lundyson]

toilet paper roll?

A guy is not allowed to change a roll of toilet paper? what if he is single and lives with just other guys? am i supposed to get a female friend to come over and change my toilet paper roll? What if I just let loose and melted some of the porcelain, and used a quarter-roll to wipe. am i supposed to have a girl come over and subject her to that misery before using my bathroom again?

I submit that this rule be stricken from the list...

 

[where]

NOTE: fat chicks and one-eyed amputees from ugly-ville are not on the list of acceptable cockblocks. This is because if your friend is either pathetic or drunk enough to sleep with these questionable type of females, then it is his friend's right AND imperative to get photographic or video evidence and then humiliate him at every opportunity possible.

I'm guessing you are classically tall, athletic, able bodied and handsome. God help you if you ever lose a limb or any other faculty and are thus sent to 'ugly-ville'.

You know even physically perfect people can be very very ugly and you look like you are one of them.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

The more I look at this, the more I think I need to re-write my own list.

 

[CharleyH]

(feel free to add any you think have been missed)

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. Ever.

2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

* When a heroic dog dies to save its master
* The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
* After wrecking your boss’ car
* One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into The Crying Game
* When she is using her teeth

3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

Rule 30: When you miss getting hard or you cum too early ... blame it on anything but your cock. And make sure you mention that it was the first time it ever happened ... ever. EVER!

 

[cloudy]

I'm guessing you are classically tall, athletic, able bodied and handsome. God help you if you ever lose a limb or any other faculty and are thus sent to 'ugly-ville'.

You know even physically perfect people can be very very ugly and you look like you are one of them.

I'm guessing he's 14, and his mom doesn't know he's on here.

 

[DesertPirate]

Ditto. It was "the" compromise. Besides, it keeps the cats out of the bowl.

And dogs
Like I ever had a choice with 3 daughters + the wife

Q. How have you stayed married almost 25 years?
A. I learned how to say yes Mam a long damn time ago!

 

[voluptuary_manque]

however, "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

And dogs
Like I ever had a choice with 3 daughters + the wife

Q. How have you stayed married almost 25 years?
A. I learned how to say yes Mam a long damn time ago!

Assuming said male survives "guyhood" and achieves maturity and, just possibly, a secure relationship, Rule #1: Mama comes first! Rule #2: Reread Rule #1. All else normally falls into place after Rule #2 and your love life won't suffer, none, either!

 

[sutherngent985]

however, "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

'Nods' Aint that the truth...any man who doesnt know this is in the REALLY deep doodoo.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

however, "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

Sadly some women exploit that idea and become selfish lazy cow like 13 year olds in 36 year old bodies.

 

[impressive]

I'd rather let you have it.

I'm missin' girl kissin'.

YUM!

 

[JagFarlane]

And dogs
Like I ever had a choice with 3 daughters + the wife

Q. How have you stayed married almost 25 years?
A. I learned how to say yes Mam a long damn time ago!

-wonders if DP will survive the wife and 3 daughters on the same cycle. Natures cruelest joke, having women that spend lots of time together, cycle together-

 

[voluptuary_manque]

-wonders if DP will survive the wife and 3 daughters on the same cycle. Natures cruelest joke, having women that spend lots of time together, cycle together-

They probably were. That's why he learned to say "Yes, Ma'am" to all four of them.

 

[DesertPirate]

They probably were. That's why he learned to say "Yes, Ma'am" to all four of them.

And at time went and hid in the garage "perfecting my woodworking skills"
Those were some rough times for sure
Even played golf for awhile to escape

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Even played golf for awhile to escape

God Forbid! Anything but . . . golf!!

 

[ms.read]

manhood rule number whatever whatever

all men must watch football every Sunday and ignore his wife/girlfriend other half in order to sustain manhood membership.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

manhood rule number whatever whatever

all men must watch football every Sunday and ignore his wife/girlfriend other half in order to sustain manhood membership.

If thats a rule I'm becoming a lesbian.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

manhood rule number whatever whatever

all men must watch football every Sunday and ignore his wife/girlfriend other half in order to sustain manhood membership.

If more Americans knew about Rugby, the NFL would go bankrupt. Football, bleagh!

 

[Guest]

manhood rule number whatever whatever

all men must watch football every Sunday and ignore his wife/girlfriend other half in order to sustain manhood membership.

If thats a rule I'm becoming a lesbian.

If more Americans knew about Rugby, the NFL would go bankrupt. Football, bleagh!

Hey - hey - hey!

I love football. American football.

And hubby and I watch it together. I know and understand it, better than most of his players. He's a varsity coach.

Something about muscular men, getting all sweaty, pounding on each other -

*sigh*

It's good stuff.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Something about muscular men, getting all sweaty, pounding on each other -

*sigh*

It's good stuff.

Then you, too, would love Rugby. Football for men, not boys. No pads. No helmets. Beer afterwards. A hooligan's game played by gentlemen. Go Springboks!

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Hey - hey - hey!

I love football. American football.

And hubby and I watch it together. I know and understand it, better than most of his players. He's a varsity coach.

Something about muscular men, getting all sweaty, pounding on each other -

*sigh*

It's good stuff.

To each their own, but any time its a requirement..... I find alternatives.

I can't grasp how watching that game is so macho. I can understand why women like it.

 

[Guest]

Then you, too, would love Rugby. Football for men, not boys. No pads. No helmets. Beer afterwards. A hooligan's game played by gentlemen. Go Springboks!

The_Earl here on Lit plays rugby.

I've heard some stories.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

The_Earl here on Lit plays rugby.

I've heard some stories.

You need to watch a game. My partner and I will stop a safari in its tracks for a Three Nations Cup game. The RSA vs. Australia vs. New Zealand. Awesome!

 

[Guest]

To each their own, but any time its a requirement..... I find alternatives.

I can't grasp how watching that game is so macho. I can understand why women like it.

I rarely do one thing at a time.

If the game is on, I'm writing, or online, or doing other things too.

But football is good gritty fun.

 

[rgraham666]

Rugby players eat their dead.

I saw that on a bumper sticker once.

 

[Guest]

Rugby players eat their dead.

I saw that on a bumper sticker once.

I've asked that of The_Earl before.