Your Collared Story

[ApprenticeApril]

This is inspired by the "how did you meet" thread, but I'm curious, how did you get collared / collar someone?
Thinking about bringing it up to the bf and I want some stories! Anybody out there mutually collared to each other?

 

[EmpressFi]

Master and I are in a LDR so we only talked about collaring for a while. One night in IM, he asked if I wanted to be collared and I said yes.

He found a few sites with collars, sent me the links of the ones he liked and asked me to pick one. I picked it out and he ordered it.

During his next visit, we went to this club. It was our first public play scene and we were both a little nervous. At one point, shortly after arriving, that he whispered, "Turn around and lift your hair". I did and felt the heavy leather slide around my neck and he secured it into place.

Now I wear it during our "Date nights" and the whole time he's here and when I go to visit him...or when I need to feel.. centered, comforted.

I have a necklace I wear to work to represent my collar during the day

 

[ApprenticeApril]

I love the idea of having two seperate ones. Work and play appropriate.
Thanks for sharing!

 

[Daddyslilpet]

I am a marked and owned sub who is collared by my Daddy. We have two collars as well, one that I can wear daily in the vanilla world and one that is more practical for after hours when Daddy wants to play with me.

Both are made of black leather though... and I get many compliments on my "necklace" on a regular basis.

 

[FurryFury]

I don't feel that I have enough to offer someone that collaring would make sense. I would never be able to accept a collar from anyone other than my husband. He is not interested in such things.

I think people use the symbol of collaring much too easily without truly committing to what it "should" mean. Of course each to their own if both parties believe that collaring is temporary and just for play, that's fine.

I once had a girl ask me to collar her at a play party. I'd just met her. I didn't understand WTF she would ask me for. I was rather horrified. The last thing I want is responsibility for anyone or anything else! Someone else did it. She went on her merry way.

If I were ever collared my life would have to be very different than it is atm and it would mean a great deal to me. Those are my thoughts and that's my story. I approved this message.

 

[EmpressFi]

I don't feel that I have enough to offer someone that collaring would make sense. I would never be able to accept a collar from anyone other than my husband. He is not interested in such things.

I think people use the symbol of collaring much too easily without truly committing to what it "should" mean. Of course each to their own if both parties believe that collaring is temporary and just for play, that's fine.

I once had a girl ask me to collar her at a play party. I'd just met her. I didn't understand WTF she would ask me for. I was rather horrified. The last thing I want is responsibility for anyone or anything else! Someone else did it. She went on her merry way.

If I were ever collared my life would have to be very different than it is atm and it would mean a great deal to me. Those are my thoughts and that's my story. I approved this message.

I agree with this. I can only speak for myself when I say that my collar(s) represent a sentiment as strong as my wedding band. In my heart, I feel married to both Malin and Master.

 

[Netzach]

I have three men in my life. One is a lover, and he's been in it the longest, almost a decade. We have a collar in the gear that fits either of us, it goes small to large, and we've felt very strongly "do with me as you will" toward the other at different times. The bond is very strong, as strong as that with my husband.

I have M, my partner, husband, submissive by nature - mostly. A pet, the way a cat is a pet. Like most indoor cats, I only put a collar on him when we go "out". (smirk) He doesn't wear one to work, as it wouldn't be absorbable into his professional attire, and that's ok.

Then there's H, my slave. He's a slave in every sense, something neither of the others are or ever could be. I have a working collar for him, and a necklace I bought him for when he is crossdressed. The collar also isn't permanent, the symbols are a nice add on, but the behavior reinforces the relationship.

 

[SubKekiLee]

This is inspired by the "how did you meet" thread, but I'm curious, how did you get collared / collar someone?
Thinking about bringing it up to the bf and I want some stories! Anybody out there mutually collared to each other?

I don't feel that I have enough to offer someone that collaring would make sense. I would never be able to accept a collar from anyone other than my husband. He is not interested in such things.

I think people use the symbol of collaring much too easily without truly committing to what it "should" mean. Of course each to their own if both parties believe that collaring is temporary and just for play, that's fine.

I once had a girl ask me to collar her at a play party. I'd just met her. I didn't understand WTF she would ask me for. I was rather horrified. The last thing I want is responsibility for anyone or anything else! Someone else did it. She went on her merry way.

If I were ever collared my life would have to be very different than it is atm and it would mean a great deal to me. Those are my thoughts and that's my story. I approved this message.

DS and I have been together now more than 6 months... He has not chosen to collar me yet, does this mean he doesnt care? NO he cares very deeply for me but for both us as well Collaring means a very serious thing , and when it is time he will present me with the gift I can wear full time and one we can play with. I agree with Furry( and this conversation has been discussed with Sir as well) that I think people sometimes take collaring too lightly... It is something very very serious I take it next to marriage... IF you collar someone you must be prepared to be there for that someone and plan to not walk away at the drop of a hat....I adore Sir and he adores me, I know when the time is right he will give me his collar... and when he does it will be as special as I have drempt it would be...

 

[Bandit58]

I have a silver snake chain necklace that is my everyday collar. For dressier occasions I have a heart padlock on a chain. I have two play collars, one spiked and one soft leather with an O ring.

For me the wedding and engagement rings I wear represent my commitment to Him and our relationship. The collar/necklace represents the same commitment, but also the type of relationship it is (D/s). We were together for over two years before a collar went on - actually the engagement ring came first IIRC

 

[catalina_francisco]

I agree with Furry( and this conversation has been discussed with Sir as well) that I think people sometimes take collaring too lightly... It is something very very serious I take it next to marriage... IF you collar someone you must be prepared to be there for that someone and plan to not walk away at the drop of a hat.

I agree. There is so much velcro collaring going on it often tends to make a mockery of what it symbolises to others. I think in part it is often for some a sort of status symbol....sort of give me a collar so I can say I have one (or add to the collection like some used to do with engagement rings), don't worry about the significance or any lasting meaning. No sooner is it on and announced to the world and they are off looking for a new PYL. It is sad people can miss that whole dimension of emotions and commitment in their rush to be what they perceive as cool.

Catalina

 

[minx1]

DS and I have been together now more than 6 months... He has not chosen to collar me yet, does this mean he doesnt care? NO he cares very deeply for me but for both us as well Collaring means a very serious thing , and when it is time he will present me with the gift I can wear full time and one we can play with. I agree with Furry( and this conversation has been discussed with Sir as well) that I think people sometimes take collaring too lightly... It is something very very serious I take it next to marriage... IF you collar someone you must be prepared to be there for that someone and plan to not walk away at the drop of a hat....I adore Sir and he adores me, I know when the time is right he will give me his collar... and when he does it will be as special as I have drempt it would be...

I agree. There is so much velcro collaring going on it often tends to make a mockery of what it symbolises to others. I think in part it is often for some a sort of status symbol....sort of give me a collar so I can say I have one (or add to the collection like some used to do with engagement rings), don't worry about the significance or any lasting meaning. No sooner is it on and announced to the world and they are off looking for a new PYL. It is sad people can miss that whole dimension of emotions and commitment in their rush to be what they perceive as cool.

Catalina

I completely agree with both of you.

Having said that I wish with all my heart that D had collared me. Not because I need the status symbol but because of the significance it would have had to us.....lol, ok me! *laugh*
It is very unlikely to happen now I think, but that doesn't take anything away from us. I adore him and no doubt always will.

I confess to still looking wistfully in shop windows *laugh* Infact I saw something 'perfect' the other day... a simple silver chain with a heart shaped lock and a complete bargain at only $49 eh!

Still, c'est le vie. Its not fundamental to our relationship. We are what we are to eachother and don't need that to define us.

it was lovely though *giggles*

Anyway....I love hearing others stories though....its the romantic in me

 

[intothewoods]

I don't think the problem is not taking collaring seriously, more that people often say that the collar means something very serious, when in actuality they don't have a clue what commitment really is.

I played with a Top once who put a posture collar on me, and he said very clearly, (of course) this doesn't mean you are collared to me, it's simply a way of helping you focus in the scene. Mister Man bought a collar for me last weekend, and it was very clear to both of us that it doesn't mean I've made a lifelong commitment to him. For us, it simply means that we're monogamous, and my play at parties (with others) is limited. It basically represented mutual trust and respect.

I don't think there's anything wrong with or disrespectful about either of those uses of a collar, because both parties were clear about its sybolic meaning, and said so.

 

[Netzach]

It's a useful thing to hook my fingers into. It doesn't have to mean anything. I could put a big ol' plastic ring on my left fourth finger and it can mean nothing.

 

[Desdemona]

I've been collared for a couple of years now

After we'd been seeing each other for some months, T asked if I wanted to be collared. We shopped online and chose one with multiple rings that he could use for all sorts of evil purposes. When I knelt before him with my hair lifted, it was a very powerful moment for both of us. He now refers to me as "the missus" even though we haven't walked down any aisles. I refer to him as my husband in everyday life. We're life partners but that seems like an awkward title to both of us. So, being collared is a symbol of deep committment for us whether or not the D/s aspect is present (it waxes and wanes). I don't wear it in public, nor do I wear any jewelry that represents it.

Some of you may remember that I was collared once before for a couple of years to Snooze. In that relationship, it was also a symbol of deep committment. It was painful and difficult for both of us when it had to end. Having been divorced in the vanilla world, I can say with all honesty, that being released was every bit as painful and I felt like I had failed him as a sub. Fortunately now, he's my good friend and will always hold a very special place in my heart.

I strongly believe that one should not offer or accept a collar without understanding it's meaning to both parties. It doesn't have to mean anything and can be just for play or it could be very symbolic of deep committment.

 

[the captians wench]

When Jounar and I started getting serious, he mentioned that I would "look cool" in a collar, I went out the next day and bought one *giggles*. It was about two days later that he took me as his, then I added my first tag "slut property of Jounar". A month later I changed the tag to "if found please return to Ireland", he was both amused and pleased by the new tag, and 3 years later it's just as significant as the first day I put it on.

This collar, and the ones I have collected after that first, is my collar They do represent him and his presence in my life, but they are not "his" collar. We both feel that a true collar can't be sent thru the mail, so i have not been "officially" collared, but I am still very much his. He mentioned once that he had been looking at some *giggles* but he wants me there to receive it.

In all honesty, this is something that was kind of hard for me to accept at first. I wanted something physical to connect to him, as if some how that item would make our bond....more real I guess. It took time for me to understand that the collar isn't what's important, it's the reason for the collar, and what it represents, the relationship, that's what is important.

 

[SubKekiLee]

I strongly believe that one should not offer or accept a collar without understanding it's meaning to both parties. It doesn't have to mean anything and can be just for play or it could be very symbolic of deep committment.

Well said Des... I couldnt agree more!!! Thank you ..

 

[A Desert Rose]

In the words of Emily Litella: nevermind.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I don't think the problem is not taking collaring seriously, more that people often say that the collar means something very serious, when in actuality they don't have a clue what commitment really is.

I played with a Top once who put a posture collar on me, and he said very clearly, (of course) this doesn't mean you are collared to me, it's simply a way of helping you focus in the scene. Mister Man bought a collar for me last weekend, and it was very clear to both of us that it doesn't mean I've made a lifelong commitment to him. For us, it simply means that we're monogamous, and my play at parties (with others) is limited. It basically represented mutual trust and respect.

I don't think there's anything wrong with or disrespectful about either of those uses of a collar, because both parties were clear about its sybolic meaning, and said so.

I agree, there is nothing wrong with it when it is simply a collar for play or whatever purposes, but what my post referred to were the PYL/pyl's who imply the collar they have given/received is a very serious symbol of their deep and lasting commitment only to within a week or so be out there looking for or accepting another from someone else to go through the same process with.

It seems more common with female pyls, but makes a mockery of the symbolism when they make a big thing out of how touched they are, how devoted, how in love, how important a step it is etc., etc., just to toss it in a drawer and move onto the next person in the blink of an eye. I do think in some ways it is similar to the girls in my sister's time and less so when I was in my youth who took great pride in getting given an engagement ring, playing the scene to the hilt, then moving onto to another conquest, another ring...some ended up with quite a tidy collection of engagement (and friendship) rings of which they were very proud of, but had little to do with the love and commitment they tried to attach to each and every one in the moment and more to do with making a conquest and having the trophy to prove it.

Catalina

 

[A Desert Rose]

I'm also amazed at how quickly people collar/accept a collar, after having just barely met (usually only online, too.)

 

[pellso27]

I am looking for a pet

 

[A Desert Rose]

I am looking for a pet

I have a bird catching cat I'll send you. Right now.

 

[the captians wench]

I'm also amazed at how quickly people collar/accept a collar, after having just barely met (usually only online, too.)

*giggles* I remember making light of online relationships and the silly girls who paraded around with a collar from their masters. Now I'm not one to talk *giggles* but I do think there is a difference that most do not, well differentiate.

What I made light of, was role play. Online relationships that were hidden from the world and only existed in the minds of those who knew about it. My situation is far from role play.

But I think even there there might be a place for a collar...as long as the meaning behind it is understood to be no more than what it is. I make it clear to those who I am involved with what a collar means to me, what I expect out of the relationship, what I expect from my PYL, and what I am willing to do and offering to them.

I guess the question is, is a collar a symbol of a relationship? does it have a deeper meaning? is it to express monogamy? ownership? emotional connection? or is it just a toy, a tool to pull out during play? and should it be a universal symbol or is it open to interpretation?

 

[A Desert Rose]

*giggles* I remember making light of online relationships and the silly girls who paraided around with a collar from their masters. Now I'm not one to talk *giggles* but I do think there is a difference that most do not, well defenturate.

What I made light of, was role play. Online relationships that were hidden from the world and only existed in the minds of those who knew about it. My situation is far from role play.

But I think even there there might be a place for a collar...as long as the meaning behind it is understood to be no more than what it is. I make it clear to those who I am involved with what a collar means to me, what I expect out of the relationship, what I expect from my PYL, and what I am willing to do and offering to them.

I guess the question is, is a collar a symbol of a relationship? does it have a deeper meaning? is it to express monogomy? ownership? emotional connection? or is it just a toy, a tool to pull out durring play? and should it be a universal symbol or is it open to interpretation?

yep I agree.

I wasn't making fun or light of anyone. Just an observation on my part.

 

[kinky_meh]

I am not collared yet, but its a big dream of mine for sure. I long for my Master and owner.

Maybe one sweet day....

sigh

 

[the captians wench]

yep I agree.

I wasn't making fun or light of anyone. Just an observation on my part.

I'm sorry, dear, I didn't mean to imply that you were. My comment was more about my own progression in my ideals of what "online", "long distance", "D/s", and "collaring" mean to me.