The Housework

[rosco rathbone]

For those of you who live with your SO, who does the housework in your household? Is it shared? Are there expectations, negotiations, did things just work themselves out?

Do either or both of you have difficulty balancing things out with work, play, etc?

Say a few words about the state of your domestic economy.

 

[Millificent]

Not only do we have a M/s dynamic, but I'm a SAHM too, so the lion's share of the housework goes to me. I don't mind though. He takes out the trash and feeds the cats. Sometimes he'll help with dinner. If I need help with a certain task he will most always help out (he doesn't do poopy pull ups). It just works out on its own

 

[intothewoods]

For those of you who live with your SO, who does the housework in your household? Is it shared? Are there expectations, negotiations, did things just work themselves out?

Do either or both of you have difficulty balancing things out with work, play, etc?

Say a few words about the state of your domestic economy.

I'm digging on your threads lately, RR.

I don't live with my SO, but I've lived with one before, and I probably will again. It can be very frustrating living with someone who has a different standard of cleanliness than your own.

My current PYL and I have talked about making it very clear who does what, and we'll probably also get an regular housecleaning service. We both work, so there's no way in hell I'm doing everything. He does have certain ideas about what is his domain, like the coffee and taking the garbage out, and that's fine with me. As long as it's all spelled out - there's really no issue for me.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I do all of it. If I am ill to the point of not being able to stand for more than 5 minutes, he will sometimes cook dinner or order in something...and on the rare times I am in Oz for a visit home, he and my son do what is necessary and I catch up once I am back.

Catalina

 

[ownedsubgal]

I do all of it. If I am ill to the point of not being able to stand for more than 5 minutes, he will sometimes cook dinner or order in something...and on the rare times I am in Oz for a visit home, he and my son do what is necessary and I catch up once I am back.

Catalina

it is very much the same here. all housework, cooking and such is my responsibility, and actually takes up a good deal of my day. usually he will either write a note or tell me what particular chores are mandatory to be completed that day, in addition to the normal upkeep. if i'm ill to the point of not being able to stand or go up and down the stairs repeatedly, he'll take up some of the slack until i'm better. when i'm out of town he'll do the superficial cleaning and the deepcleaning will just wait until i return. oh, and sometimes on my birthday or some other special occasion he'll do all the major housework that day, cooking and everything. i'm still not used to that, lol.

 

[HoHoBomb]

Mariana scrubs the toilets and her husband minds the grounds.

 

[Primalex]

I do the physically demanding parts as my girl is physically handicapped and about half of the time I do the cooking, the latter because cooking is more hobby than work for me. I tidy up my workroom, as she is not allowed to touch anything in there. That's it basically.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Several of you are housewives, I believe, so that makes things somewhat easier.

I'm digging on your threads lately, RR.

I don't live with my SO, but I've lived with one before, and I probably will again. It can be very frustrating living with someone who has a different standard of cleanliness than your own.

My current PYL and I have talked about making it very clear who does what, and we'll probably also get an regular housecleaning service. We both work, so there's no way in hell I'm doing everything. He does have certain ideas about what is his domain, like the coffee and taking the garbage out, and that's fine with me. As long as it's all spelled out - there's really no issue for me.

I know all about the different standard....I lived with an OCD sufferer for 7 years. During that time, I became aware of what you are talking about...with some people, you really need to have areas of responsibility spelled out in black and white. Others, it's more fluid.

I do the physically demanding parts as my girl is physically handicapped and about half of the time I do the cooking, the latter because cooking is more hobby than work for me. I tidy up my workroom, as she is not allowed to touch anything in there. That's it basically.

Physically handicapped....interesting. That adds a facet to your "cocky asshole" persona.

 

[intothewoods]

I know all about the different standard....I lived with an OCD sufferer for 7 years. During that time, I became aware of what you are talking about...with some people, you really need to have areas of responsibility spelled out in black and white. Others, it's more fluid.

Dude, I wish I lived with someone with OCD. My place would be so clean! I'm kidding.

I'm actually pretty lazy, but I hate living around clutter. If I were rich, I'd have a maid and send my laundry out all the time. I hate laundry the most, actually. Most of the time, I plot ways to make cleaning and dealing with clutter easier.

On the other hand, when I was a housewife, I did do the housework, and don't have a problem with that. Really, as long as it's clear, I'm fine. I don't like being a nag.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I live with Master, we have no kids and we both work full time. We're in our 20s.

I do most of the housework. I'm better at it than he is. I still can't trust him to put a load of washing on without staining or shrinking something (a deliberate ruse if ever there was one.) I also have higher standards of cleanliness than he does as I have asthma and allergies. He does the vacuum cleaning most of the time, because it makes me ill but we do disagree on how often it 'needs.' doing.

He has 2 pet gerbils and a hamster, who I don't go near. Master loves cats and would dearly love to have one but I'm just chronically allergic so he makes do with his rodents. Their cage cleaning and whatnot is his responsibility.

I enjoy doing most of the housework, most of the time. If I'm unwell he'll pitch in and he does cook once or twice a week. That would be great if he didn't use every pan in the house and leave me the washing up to do but I guess it's the thought that counts.

Cashwise, we generally manage our own. The outgoings are split down the middle and aside from that, our money is our own. Master has chosen to use my money before now (as some of you may know from when I posted a rant thread a while ago ) but he does always replace it. If we were married it might be different but neither of us have much money and he doesn't like to leave me financially vulnerable for very long. Major expenditures are decided by him and sometimes I'm called upon to chip in with my half when I would rather have not made that purchase but aside from that I have autonomy when it comes to my cash.

 

[intothewoods]

I do most of the housework. I'm better at it than he is. I still can't trust him to put a load of washing on without staining or shrinking something (a deliberate ruse if ever there was one.) I also have higher standards of cleanliness than he does as I have asthma and allergies. He does the vacuum cleaning most of the time, because it makes me ill but we do disagree on how often it 'needs.' doing.

Will you marry me?

 

[Netzach]

I'm very disorganized, he's OCD but also ADD and has lots and lots of - stuff. And his stuff is important to him, even if I may not understand why, I accept that. So this isn't our forte, and often suffers when we're busy, which seems to be always lately. I plan on hiring help with this when I can afford it - it's not something he's got time for, it's not something I have time or talent for - and if you suck at something you outsource it - I wouldn't do my own books.

Getting an off-site studio will help a lot - much of the problem is my work detrius and having an art project being bread and butter and time and money.

He does more of the cleaning than I do. I freely admit that. It's very husband/wife typical that way, me being the husband. I, however, do the cooking. Unless someone were to blow me away in the kitchen, I cook.

I also find that I hate organizational cleaning but I like cleaning cleaning, scrubbing things, removing the dirt.

And, on the planet I live on, whoever cooks does NOT get saddled with the dishes. I will never understand how he can sit back, tuck into my food, and then bitch about the pans.

 

[00Syd]

When I am with my bf the only cleaning we every have to deal with together is who does the dishes. We like to experiment with cooking, its fun, but it creates a lot of mess. Who does the dishes (maybe the housework I hate the most) is always a point of contention.

 

[FurryFury]

Well first let me say I'm not a clean freak at all and my SO is not either. We are not anal retentive either.

Soooo, he does what he wants to do. He wants to cook all the time, do his own laundry and tends to be the one to fix things around the house because he is better at it. He tends to mow the lawn. He puts those type of things off a lot. I don't stress about it. He is busy after all, deserves some down time and I put things off too.

I take care of paying most of the bills, the kids, the driving, the homeschooling, the laundry and meals that he doesn't do.

The kids help with the house when we clean. We usually only clean when we are having folks over to be honest.

I do a full cleaning twice a year. This means moving the furniture, going through rooms and throwing broken, no longer fitting and such as that away.

We still have a TON of stuff we should do and should throw out. We prefer to spend out time enjoying life and tending to the more important things that must get done, than concentrating on having a perfectly clean home.

People think I'm organized at work but really I'm not that much. I tend to know where things are, as in "that pile over there." LOL.

I do have my books, DVDs and CD,s alphabetized by artist / author though and that tends to freak people out.

Anyway, the SO and I don't fight. We just naturally fell into this and we are happy with it.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Will you marry me?

Any time as long as you can handle being poly with Master.

 

[intothewoods]

Any time as long as you can handle being poly with Master.

I might become poly with a banana if it means my house will be clean.

 

[bholderman]

I did probably 99% of the domestic enigeering...still do even with the SO gone...

For those of you who live with your SO, who does the housework in your household? Is it shared? Are there expectations, negotiations, did things just work themselves out?

Do either or both of you have difficulty balancing things out with work, play, etc?

Say a few words about the state of your domestic economy.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Housework division seems like such a flash point with modern 2-job couples, so I'm just wondering how you pervy peeple deal with it.

 

[Chicklet]

I would be more than happy to do the housework for my SO. We don't live together and I get very little time at his house. Whenever I'm over I tend to do the dishes, do his laundry, pick up for him, and such. It gives me a little thrill to do things like that for him.

 

[alexanna]

The housework is my responsibility. i pay someone to do it. i work in the home and so have close oversight of everything going on but when i'm working i'm working for the most part. Before i made enough money i did the housework myself.

i do cook dinner and clean up afterwards as well as tidying up after the kids in the evenings but i have always done this, before and after BDSM entered our lives.

Hubby does all the outside, pool, car stuff because he likes it. If any of that were to enter my realm of responsiblity i'd take out my checkbook.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I do have my books, DVDs and CD,s alphabetized by artist / author though and that tends to freak people out.

LOL, I also have my CD's arranged in alphabetical order (books used to be but are spread around now), and they are also cataloged (as is my vinyl collection too) and I am in the process of cataloging which songs I have and on which albums...that is going to be a mammoth job given the amount of music I have!!

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Housework division seems like such a flash point with modern 2-job couples, so I'm just wondering how you pervy peeple deal with it.

Honestly I think even if I were also working outside the home, things would stand as they do now. As it is F is lucky to be out of the house for work a total of 16 hours a week (usually more like 4-8 if that)...the remainder of the time he is home, usually playing Wow or watching TV/DVD's., with the very occasional work task to attend to or conference call to take. He is blessed.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

Housework division seems like such a flash point with modern 2-job couples, so I'm just wondering how you pervy peeple deal with it.

Like a modern pervy 2 job couple. It's a flash point. And I spank him and we all feel better. I could probably just make him do everything, but he's outside the house about 10-12 hours a day and his job is making him crazy and I think an upward step out is imminent. I work mine 12-14 hours a day but I love it. We're not flush at this time, when we are it can be re-examined. It's simply not realistic for either one of us to be saddled with it entirely and it's not realistic to put it ahead of our moneymaking drive at this point. We get on top of it on weekends.

 

[Netzach]

Well first let me say I'm not a clean freak at all and my SO is not either. We are not anal retentive either.

Soooo, he does what he wants to do. He wants to cook all the time, do his own laundry and tends to be the one to fix things around the house because he is better at it. He tends to mow the lawn. He puts those type of things off a lot. I don't stress about it. He is busy after all, deserves some down time and I put things off too.

I take care of paying most of the bills, the kids, the driving, the homeschooling, the laundry and meals that he doesn't do.

The kids help with the house when we clean. We usually only clean when we are having folks over to be honest.

I do a full cleaning twice a year. This means moving the furniture, going through rooms and throwing broken, no longer fitting and such as that away.

We still have a TON of stuff we should do and should throw out. We prefer to spend out time enjoying life and tending to the more important things that must get done, than concentrating on having a perfectly clean home.

People think I'm organized at work but really I'm not that much. I tend to know where things are, as in "that pile over there." LOL.

I do have my books, DVDs and CD,s alphabetized by artist / author though and that tends to freak people out.

Anyway, the SO and I don't fight. We just naturally fell into this and we are happy with it.

I love you. Let's hear it for messy happy homes.

 

[FurryFury]

I work very flex / part time now but for many, many years I was a SAHM. The division of labor or lack thereof hasn't changed much.

The main difference is that I rarely "save" family time for my husband now. He is thrilled I'm not always raring to go so he can have that time. LOL!

The other is that the kids are now teens and can do far more for themselves, leaving me less to do. Yet I always have more than enough to do.

*chuckle*