Inspired: orgasm denial?

[DeservingBitch]

This one is inspired by sexycazz's thread:

Is orgasm control/denial more of a het-male top thing?

I for one am not particularly interested in it, either as a Top or a bottom.

What about you guys? Do you see a trend, or am I being essentialist here? Let's have a poll on it -- just to entertain my curiosity.


ETA: ok, forgive my stupid question. I just remember about all the cock-cage and stuff. Which is vastly popular among both gay tops and female het tops.

I shouldn't post when I'm in an altered-state.

 

[Homburg]

I've read plenty of posts by het-female tops and het-male bottoms that discussed orgasm denial, as well as fiction that discussed it.

Personally, while I am all about orgasm control, flat denial bores me.

 

[DeservingBitch]

I've read plenty of posts by het-female tops and het-male bottoms that discussed orgasm denial, as well as fiction that discussed it.

Personally, while I am all about orgasm control, flat denial bores me.

So, a het thing maybe?

Or am I just hanging out in the wrong circles?

 

[Netzach]

I'm into sexual frustration. If I'm with someone low-libido or someone who becomes low libido after a certain duration of denial, I have to find other means of frustration - and I generally cut back on the duration of denial.

 

[SweetGigi]

I'm into sexual frustration. If I'm with someone low-libido or someone who becomes low libido after a certain duration of denial, I have to find other means of frustration - and I generally cut back on the duration of denial.

I with you on this. It is all fun and games till the denial looses its luster. Then you have to come up with other ideas.

 

[_kiana_]

I'm into sexual frustration. If I'm with someone low-libido or someone who becomes low libido after a certain duration of denial, I have to find other means of frustration - and I generally cut back on the duration of denial.

Another ditto. Denial itself is a bore for me. I will, rather quickly, become asexual completely and give no response to stimulation at all.

So, a clarification please DeservingBitch, before I answer the poll. You are speaking about full out denial and not just control? Just for the record, as many people tend to make the terms interchangeable.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Master did this a lot when we were long distance but it was more of an obedience/submission thing that a frustration thing. I did get frustrated but I was always proud to save my orgasms for when I saw him so I was complicit in the orgasm denial.

He still does it when the mood takes him and my libido is higher than his anyway - especially lately. Can't really be called conscious orgasm denial but I still have the same frustration and desire to serve and please even when he's not interested in sex.

Sometimes I'm permitted and sometimes I'm not. All depends on his mood and any plans he may or may not have for me.

Not sure how relevant any of that was.

 

[IsabellaKing]

I so wanted to put my vote in the 'Love it' box but on checking the results I discovered that no one else had. Now I want to do it even more

 

[TeachMeSir]

Oh please, I really don't think I oculd live with orgasm denial. Not that orgasm is the be all and end all of imtimacy.

I see it this way. If I was given the choice of a ho-hum orgasm after some boring sex, or some wonderful sensations without the release then I woudld take the sensations. It is about all the feelings for me. But I'm one of those "I want my cake & cookies as well".

Without satisfaction I loose interest quickly. But control I love, maybe not ALL the time, but it definately has an appeal for me

 

[minx1]

He did it once as a punishment. I hated it, for the obvious reasons but also because he normally likes me to orgasm regularly, so I knew how upset and annoyed he was with me. I felt humiliated and it taught me a valuable lesson. For me, using it like that was extremely powerful.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'm not sure there is a specific sexual group or gender which favour this as I have heard of it being used by males and females, str8, gay and bi, and all shades of PYL/pyl's. For us it holds no appeal and seems counter productive more often than not.

Catalina

 

[Lalah]

My lover and me use it, but as a mean of greater arousal for later that day. Before going out to do something he knows will be hard for me he spend an hour or so bringing me to the point of an orgasm, stopping until I cool down some and then repeating again. When we're doing the real thing later on I'll all begging for it.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Another ditto. Denial itself is a bore for me. I will, rather quickly, become asexual completely and give no response to stimulation at all.

So, a clarification please DeservingBitch, before I answer the poll. You are speaking about full out denial and not just control? Just for the record, as many people tend to make the terms interchangeable.

Yeah - I meant both. Again, shouldn't post when drunk.

 

[TenJed69]

My sub (girl) likes it, and I got no problem with that.

 

[SubKekiLee]

He uses infrequently for punishment or for when we are approaching a visit.... it is a good thing cause then I when I see him, I am so excited, and ready for him he barely needs to touch me I am like a balloon that gets popped with a pin...

 

[midwestyankee]

I flat out enjoy controlling arousal and release. Sometimes it's hot as hell to insist on multiple orgasms each day (especially in challenging circumstances such as during the business day) and other times the heat comes from repeated cycles of high arousal and cooling off over a long period that does, eventually, end in a come-as-hard-and-as-much-as-you-can release.

It's all about the control of another's body and pleasure. But that control would be meaningless if one end of the spectrum were omitted. The deepest black would be pointless unless we know brilliant white.

 

[twysted73]

Alright...

I see it as a very fun activity but my own limits for those I subject it to never exceed 24 hours.
After that it does tend to lose it's luster.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I'm not sure there is a specific sexual group or gender which favour this as I have heard of it being used by males and females, str8, gay and bi, and all shades of PYL/pyl's. For us it holds no appeal and seems counter productive more often than not.

Catalina

did you seriously do this... st8? You were laughing when you did it, right?



aaaaahahahahahaha!

 

[catalina_francisco]

did you seriously do this... str8? You were laughing when you did it, right?



aaaaahahahahahaha!

LOL, no, just a hangover from some previous times and which have been in my thoughts and heart this week.

Catalina

 

[A Desert Rose]

LOL, no, just a hangover from some previous times and which have been in my thoughts and heart this week.

Catalina

Well head's up... if you ever text me like this (with numbers for letters) I'll never be able to understand you.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Well head's up... if you ever text me like this (with numbers for letters) I'll never be able to understand you.

LOL, the way I text you would be hard put to understand it anyway...I am hopeless at it!!

Catalina

 

[Fuckette]

The best part of sex isn't the orgasm.

 

[myinnerslut]

it was use frequently as a punishment for me in a past relationship.

while im all for teasing and control, denial was just awful.

 

[ownedsubgal]

my Master has no interest whatsoever in any aspect of orgasm control. He doesn't want to make a woman cum on command, tease and withhold orgasm, or deny altogether. for him the whole subject focuses entirely too much on the submissive's pleasure (or lack thereof) which in his view would make a self-focused submissive. the main value he works so hard to instill in me is selflessness, not caring about "me" one way or the other in whatever context. so, it's not for us although we do seem to be minorities in that respect.

 

[twysted73]

The best part of sex isn't the orgasm.

I've almost reached the point where my own orgasm is near uninteresting.