Flogged Into Conversion

[madetotakeit]

Last night I discovered the joys of being flogged and paddled. I had always been drawn to flogging, paddling I wasn't so sure of. Never really knowing how much I was into pain I wasn't sure how I would react to it when I finally felt it (I need to get some input on how much I was able to handle). I don't know where I fall on the pain tolerance scale, but it was enough for me to still be feeling the warmth as I'm sitting here typing.

I loved the sting and the feeling of the suede traveling across my sensitive skin as the burn spread. The feeling of it on my upper back beat the hell out of just about every massage I've ever had. I could definitely see slipping into sub space through flogging. Paddling is another thing altogether. While I enjoyed it, it was much more a sense of making me feel submissive. And I can say with certainty that wooden paddles should be left for punishment when it comes to me. Too many licks from one of those and I would be in tears fast. Overall it was very centering.

I have definitely been converted. Floggers are way up there on my favorite toys list now. Now there are crops and canes to try ...but I'll put those a little farther down the road. My skin needs to cool down first.

 

[Caitlynne]

canes??? *ouch* That's all I have to say--just ouchie!!!!

Now floggers, yay!!!!

 

[madetotakeit]

canes??? *ouch* That's all I have to say--just ouchie!!!!

Now floggers, yay!!!!

Just looking at the canes last night *ouch* definitely came to mind. Like I said...down the road. But...in for a penny in for a pound. I never know I might like it or I might scream my safe word at the top of my lungs!

 

[EmpressFi]

Canes are .. yummy

we have a wooden one, a riding crop, and this.. hmm I dont know what what it would be.. it's a cane/flogger

 

[DVS]

Last night I discovered the joys of being flogged and paddled. I had always been drawn to flogging, paddling I wasn't so sure of. Never really knowing how much I was into pain I wasn't sure how I would react to it when I finally felt it (I need to get some input on how much I was able to handle). I don't know where I fall on the pain tolerance scale, but it was enough for me to still be feeling the warmth as I'm sitting here typing.

I loved the sting and the feeling of the suede traveling across my sensitive skin as the burn spread. The feeling of it on my upper back beat the hell out of just about every massage I've ever had. I could definitely see slipping into sub space through flogging. Paddling is another thing altogether. While I enjoyed it, it was much more a sense of making me feel submissive. And I can say with certainty that wooden paddles should be left for punishment when it comes to me. Too many licks from one of those and I would be in tears fast. Overall it was very centering.

I have definitely been converted. Floggers are way up there on my favorite toys list now. Now there are crops and canes to try ...but I'll put those a little farther down the road. My skin needs to cool down first.

I could be wrong, but I think many submissives feel insecure about pain before they are encouraged to experience it. And, I don't know how you were introduced to it, but I think bondage seems to help someone to take more than they would otherwise, even though they do have a safeword they can use.

Like you said, the paddle seems to bring out your submissive feelings, and I think the bondage enhances that. That helpless feeling washes over you...it's something that's difficult to describe. I'm sure the flogger is difficult to describe, too. I'm always on the giving end of these, but I've been around long enough to know the first time someone feels that way is like opening a door to life itself.

And that's where I'm leading to with this post. I've met many women who I know have some form of submissive tendencies, but they shy away from it, because of the bondage and the pain. I'm always honest with them, but also tell them that anything is negociable and I'll also go as slow as they wish, but they just don't go ahead with it.

And, I think that's sad, because you just can't explain to someone how this is going to feel. They have to experience it for themselves. And for many, sex is about love and pleasure. Nowhere have they ever been told that pain should be involved. It's a sad, vanilla world. If people could just get over the initial stigmas, life could be full of so much more pleasure.

 

[EmpressFi]

I could be wrong, but I think many submissives feel insecure about pain before they are encouraged to experience it. And, I don't know how you were introduced to it, but I think bondage seems to help someone to take more than they would otherwise, even though they do have a safeword they can use.

Like you said, the paddle seems to bring out your submissive feelings, and I think the bondage enhances that. That helpless feeling washes over you...it's something that's difficult to describe. I'm sure the flogger is difficult to describe, too. I'm always on the giving end of these, but I've been around long enough to know the first time someone feels that way is like opening a door to life itself.

And that's where I'm leading to with this post. I've met many women who I know have some form of submissive tendencies, but they shy away from it, because of the bondage and the pain. I'm always honest with them, but also tell them that anything is negociable and I'll also go as slow as they wish, but they just don't go ahead with it.

And, I think that's sad, because you just can't explain to someone how this is going to feel. They have to experience it for themselves. And for many, sex is about love and pleasure. Nowhere have they ever been told that pain should be involved. It's a sad, vanilla world. If people could just get over the initial stigmas, life could be full of so much more pleasure.

I love that line..

 

[madetotakeit]

I could be wrong, but I think many submissives feel insecure about pain before they are encouraged to experience it. And, I don't know how you were introduced to it, but I think bondage seems to help someone to take more than they would otherwise, even though they do have a safeword they can use.

Like you said, the paddle seems to bring out your submissive feelings, and I think the bondage enhances that. That helpless feeling washes over you...it's something that's difficult to describe. I'm sure the flogger is difficult to describe, too. I'm always on the giving end of these, but I've been around long enough to know the first time someone feels that way is like opening a door to life itself.

And that's where I'm leading to with this post. I've met many women who I know have some form of submissive tendencies, but they shy away from it, because of the bondage and the pain. I'm always honest with them, but also tell them that anything is negociable and I'll also go as slow as they wish, but they just don't go ahead with it.

And, I think that's sad, because you just can't explain to someone how this is going to feel. They have to experience it for themselves. And for many, sex is about love and pleasure. Nowhere have they ever been told that pain should be involved. It's a sad, vanilla world. If people could just get over the initial stigmas, life could be full of so much more pleasure.

I wouldn't say I was insecure about pain so much as it is typically looked at as a part of life that is to be avoided at all costs. I've always been a believer that you can't truly experience life unless you experience pain. You can only rise as far as you are willing to fall, but then I like extremes.

As far as how I experienced it, the only control was through voice and presence. Had bondage been added to the mix I'm sure I could have handled more. You are right in that the introduction has a lot to do with the impression it leaves.

 

[Dreamliner]

I feel happy for you madetotakeit.

Before experiencing this type of B&D, there is always that fear, if not then I personally would be worried. But, with the right person, it can be a revelation. The scene setting, the trust, leading into building that desire..and then the expertise in deliverying those first few strokes....whip, paddle or cane.

The anticipation of more, and actually wanting more such that you beg......

The whip, as you consider, raised your enjoyment of pain,...try it also across your breasts, the ends flicking across your nipples.....

the paddle, as you rightly connect, made you feel truly submissive. The paddle puts you in your place.

Wallow in the experience, let it flow through you.

Enjoy the exploration.

 

[twysted73]

Flogging is also something new I have added to my r'epertoire.

It's not the need to control my patterns, my strokes or my length of time spent.
No, my most difficult elemt to control is the need and impulse to inflict more pain.
They want gentle slaps and pats as the suade/leather passes over the skin.
Meenwhile I'm pulling my punches because I really want to welt the skin.

 

[YourCaptor]

Last night I discovered the joys of being flogged and paddled. I had always been drawn to flogging, paddling I wasn't so sure of. Never really knowing how much I was into pain I wasn't sure how I would react to it when I finally felt it (I need to get some input on how much I was able to handle). I don't know where I fall on the pain tolerance scale, but it was enough for me to still be feeling the warmth as I'm sitting here typing.

I loved the sting and the feeling of the suede traveling across my sensitive skin as the burn spread. The feeling of it on my upper back beat the hell out of just about every massage I've ever had. I could definitely see slipping into sub space through flogging. Paddling is another thing altogether. While I enjoyed it, it was much more a sense of making me feel submissive. And I can say with certainty that wooden paddles should be left for punishment when it comes to me. Too many licks from one of those and I would be in tears fast. Overall it was very centering.

I have definitely been converted. Floggers are way up there on my favorite toys list now. Now there are crops and canes to try ...but I'll put those a little farther down the road. My skin needs to cool down first.

Aww, but you're so pretty when in tears.

 

[_kiana_]

I have definitely been converted. Floggers are way up there on my favorite toys list now. Now there are crops and canes to try ...but I'll put those a little farther down the road. My skin needs to cool down first.

Woot! I'm glad you had a great experience and that you are willing, even if down the line, to still try the other new things.

Personally, I think the paddle is worse than the crop. But I melt with canes, so ymmv

*fans herself and tries to stay patient for her next (as of yet unscheduled) playdate*

 

[madetotakeit]

I feel happy for you madetotakeit.

Before experiencing this type of B&D, there is always that fear, if not then I personally would be worried. But, with the right person, it can be a revelation. The scene setting, the trust, leading into building that desire..and then the expertise in deliverying those first few strokes....whip, paddle or cane.

The anticipation of more, and actually wanting more such that you beg......

Enjoy the exploration.

The trust is very important for me. I found several times that I became unaware of my surroundings feeling pretty lost in what I was feeling. As it was my first time, I just wanted to enjoy it. I didn't want to push to my limit or go one step beyond. Begging is something that I find very difficult. No matter how much I may want something I find the words hard to say. I have plenty of time to go further and I will enjoy every minute of my exploration. I have so far.

Flogging is also something new I have added to my r'epertoire.

It's not the need to control my patterns, my strokes or my length of time spent.
No, my most difficult elemt to control is the need and impulse to inflict more pain.
They want gentle slaps and pats as the suade/leather passes over the skin.
Meenwhile I'm pulling my punches because I really want to welt the skin.

It's great isn't it? I'm glad I finally found out. You might be surprised how many want more than the gentle slaps. So many long for those marks that last for days.

Aww, but you're so pretty when in tears.

That reminds me of th song Pain Makes You Beautiful...now I'm going to have The Judybats stuck in my head all day.

Woot! I'm glad you had a great experience and that you are willing, even if down the line, to still try the other new things.

Personally, I think the paddle is worse than the crop. But I melt with canes, so ymmv

*fans herself and tries to stay patient for her next (as of yet unscheduled) playdate*

I'm definitely willing to try other new things...there is so much to experience. I want to give each thing its own time though so I can truly appreciate it. I'm not even going to begin to think about the next time I get to feel it. Who knows when that will be, and I'm fine just revisiting my first time for now.

 

[IsabellaKing]

I've always been a bit of a boring, set in my ways type of gal, and when I find something I like, I stick with it...and I like the cane. I like the simplicity of it and the feel of it in my hand as I pass it to him, but most of all I like the way it feels on my ass, and the beautiful marks its kiss leaves behind - and yes, I want them to last as long as possible

I also adore the fact that he likes hitting me (sounds weird) and that he enjoys the welts and bruises his beatings leave behind, as much as I do.

(And, Twysted, my OH also has a hankering to hit harder )

 

[catalina_francisco]

The whip, as you consider, raised your enjoyment of pain,...try it also across your breasts, the ends flicking across your nipples.....

Just in the interests of not misleading anyone into volunteering to be whipped when they actually meant flogged, the two are vastly different and not for everybody. I love when F uses the bullwhip on me, but it is not for a lot of people. Flogging for me at least is a lot less painful, but still a fave.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2089/2421168631_e62bcefc8f_s.jpg Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Last night I discovered the joys of being flogged and paddled. Now there are crops and canes to try ...but I'll put those a little farther down the road. My skin needs to cool down first.

Glad to hear you enjoyed your experience. I well remember my first time of both flogging and paddling...I was black and blue for a week and a bit...pity I don't bruise like that now. Most of my experiences, especially first ones have not been while in bondage (for some reason most of our bondage includes other activities I've just realised), and I would suggest bondage isn't the best way for everyone, perhaps quite the opposite. Bondage can be great, but it can also be not so great for some and could result in a less than successful experience if imposed on the wrong person. Canes and crops are also fun if you enjoy them, each one different depending on texture, size, method. Thicker canes are less stingy than thinner ones...could try making your own so you already feel a connection to them. I spent a lot of time rearranging our canes, whips, floggers, crops, other toys and loved things yesterday in preparation for good things to come. Exploring can be so much fun.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2321/2038285476_4d5ef327d4_t.jpg Catalina

 

[JMohegan]

And that's where I'm leading to with this post. I've met many women who I know have some form of submissive tendencies, but they shy away from it, because of the bondage and the pain. I'm always honest with them, but also tell them that anything is negociable and I'll also go as slow as they wish, but they just don't go ahead with it.

And, I think that's sad, because you just can't explain to someone how this is going to feel. They have to experience it for themselves. And for many, sex is about love and pleasure. Nowhere have they ever been told that pain should be involved. It's a sad, vanilla world. If people could just get over the initial stigmas, life could be full of so much more pleasure.

Do you bottom for pleasure, DVS?

Or are you part of the sad, Toppy world that can't get over the stigma?

 

[intothewoods]

Last night I discovered the joys of being flogged and paddled. I had always been drawn to flogging, paddling I wasn't so sure of. Never really knowing how much I was into pain I wasn't sure how I would react to it when I finally felt it (I need to get some input on how much I was able to handle). I don't know where I fall on the pain tolerance scale, but it was enough for me to still be feeling the warmth as I'm sitting here typing.

I loved the sting and the feeling of the suede traveling across my sensitive skin as the burn spread. The feeling of it on my upper back beat the hell out of just about every massage I've ever had. I could definitely see slipping into sub space through flogging. Paddling is another thing altogether. While I enjoyed it, it was much more a sense of making me feel submissive. And I can say with certainty that wooden paddles should be left for punishment when it comes to me. Too many licks from one of those and I would be in tears fast. Overall it was very centering.

I have definitely been converted. Floggers are way up there on my favorite toys list now. Now there are crops and canes to try ...but I'll put those a little farther down the road. My skin needs to cool down first.

I've mostly experienced floggers for sensation play, as I recall. It's been a while. Mister Man loves the paddle - I think because it's simple and unfussy. I like it too. I played with a Domme once who had a few paddles, and also really liked it. It's just a nice solid smack and not as frightening to me as a cane. I do understand that an experienced Top (in percussion play) can make anything stingy, evil, thuddy or nice, but the cane brings up some not-so-nice memories. So far one of my favorite toys is actually one of my own - the crop. A vanilla friend bought it for me. I also love the single-tail, but I would have to really trust a person to let them try that on me.

Man, writing this makes me jones for it a bit. We had such a busy weekend with social obligations and just plain exhaustion from the week, that we didn't get much "play" time this past weekend.

 

[DVS]

Do you bottom for pleasure, DVS?

Or are you part of the sad, Toppy world that can't get over the stigma?

I don't consider that a stigma. I'm just not a switch. You can't enjoy what you don't like.

But call it a stigma, if you want. It won't bother me, because I won't be listening.

 

[JMohegan]

I don't consider that a stigma. I'm just not a switch. You can't enjoy what you don't like.

But call it a stigma, if you want. It won't bother me, because I won't be listening.

Stigma is your word, not mine!

I've got another question for you, DVS. Why do you consider your personal rejection of pain in the bedroom to be understandable, but non-kinky people's rejection of pain in the bedroom to be "sad" and reflective of an inability to "just get over the initial stigmas"?

 

[Netzach]

Do you bottom for pleasure, DVS?

Or are you part of the sad, Toppy world that can't get over the stigma?

Funny I was thinking the same thing. But I've actually eaten the broccoli before deciding what about it I didn't like.

I definitely enjoy CP in measured controlled (heh) dosages, it gets me sometimes high n' giddy sometimes tough and focused. I have a complex relationship to the cane as a bottom, but it's probably my favorite for this reason, love to hate it hate to love it. I've also been pushed into the same kind of territory as the hardest caning I ever put up with by one VERY talented Domme with a hard spanking hand, holy shit was she good. I know this is going to garner me hatred and disagreement wherever I go, but everyone I've seen who was truly TRULY gifted with a cane has spent time on the other end of it - it's a weird implement, and weid sensation and unless you've had a hard enough whack with one to process the duration, arc, and reverb of the pain, you won't "get" it, in my opinion.

Now some people's relationship to bottoming may be "no thanks, my mom hit me with hangers, I know what that's like" and that's fine, for the most part, I'm not saying everyone must ignore their background to the point of ridiculous, but if given a chance to try it in a good circumstance, I encourage people to take it. I guess I just value it like I value 6 years of Latin - I know something I didn't before, even if everyone in the world is going to shout me down and tell me it's useless and it doesn't really make me smarter and everyone who told them it would help them with their vocab and writing was just part of the elitist conspiracy.

None of this elicits particularly subbie reactions in me, in fact had I tried any of this in bondage the first time I probably would have lost it completely and never considered playing to this side again as long as I lived. When I'm being worked over artfully, I actually feel very catered-to.

 

[intothewoods]

First of all, Netz, you had six years of Latin? Lord have mercy.

I totally agree with you about the "catered to" aspect of receiving a good whatever-ing. I don't know, for me, in casual play it's definitely more of a power dance than a one-way exchange. With Mister Man, the dynamic is well-established enough that the play is almost secondary to it.

 

[Netzach]

I've mostly experienced floggers for sensation play, as I recall. It's been a while. Mister Man loves the paddle - I think because it's simple and unfussy. I like it too. I played with a Domme once who had a few paddles, and also really liked it. It's just a nice solid smack and not as frightening to me as a cane. I do understand that an experienced Top (in percussion play) can make anything stingy, evil, thuddy or nice, but the cane brings up some not-so-nice memories. So far one of my favorite toys is actually one of my own - the crop. A vanilla friend bought it for me. I also love the single-tail, but I would have to really trust a person to let them try that on me.

Man, writing this makes me jones for it a bit. We had such a busy weekend with social obligations and just plain exhaustion from the week, that we didn't get much "play" time this past weekend.

Crops and heavy canes have a lot of similarity in sensation.
I do not especially care for being singletailed at ALL, but one of the few whip guys I ever met who I'd let test something on me introduced me to the tomcat whip - it's a flexible, extremely expensive multi-tailed roo whip on a leaded whip body - oh wow was that thing hot.

 

[Netzach]

First of all, Netz, you had six years of Latin? Lord have mercy.

I totally agree with you about the "catered to" aspect of receiving a good whatever-ing. I don't know, for me, in casual play it's definitely more of a power dance than a one-way exchange. With Mister Man, the dynamic is well-established enough that the play is almost secondary to it.

And I remember none of it. None. Use it or lose it.

Submission for me is very psychological and quiet - heavier painplay makes too much mental noise, even with my top. The D/s stuff is very "bedroom" and basic for me if I actually AM going to pull some kind of switch with him.

 

[DVS]

Stigma is your word, not mine!

I've got another question for you, DVS. Why do you consider your personal rejection of pain in the bedroom to be understandable, but non-kinky people's rejection of pain in the bedroom to be "sad" and reflective of an inability to "just get over the initial stigmas"?

No, you misunderstood what I said. My rejection of pain is completely understandable as well as anybody else's rejection of pain would be. I think you'll find more than a few Doms that are wimps, just like I am. It's our skill to give those who enjoy receiving pain what they want, and in the manner they enjoy that makes us stand out.

What I said in the post was---And, I think that's sad, because you just can't explain to someone how this is going to feel. They have to experience it for themselves. And for many, sex is about love and pleasure. Nowhere have they ever been told that pain should be involved. It's a sad, vanilla world. If people could just get over the initial stigmas, life could be full of so much more pleasure.

Now, what I mean by that is this---if you are brought up thinking something is to be one way, that means you will have a very difficult time understanding another way. It's not easy for someone to look at love as involving inflicting pain upon another. I know of men who can't be what their wives want, because of this issue.

Our organized society says it's wrong to hit a woman. Of course it is done, and we have a name for it. Abuse. In the minds of many, it's seen as wrong. Rough sex is seen as rape and hitting a woman is seen as abuse and the people involved are sick.

I've got a very good friend who is a sociologist. I once confided in him that I enjoyed BDSM. He then proceeded to explain to me how sick I was in the head. "It's not normal" he told me.

There are misunderstandings out there. Lots of them. People think a snake is slimy. They think a toad will give them warts. These aren't quite the same thing, because a snake isn't slimy and a toad won't give you warts. But, there is a challenge in being a submissive.

There's a good chance you'll experience some pain. I guess you don't have to like it, but it's much better if you do. If you just endure it, I don't think you'll be very happy in such a relationship. You are just going through the motions for your Dom. It's better if the endorphins kick in.

But, if you never give it a try, you'll just never know. It's possible that you could enjoy it. There's always that chance. Sure, you might be like me. I don't enjoy it. But I did give it a try, so I know. But, how are you ever going to know, if you have a stigma attached that you can't get beyond?

 

[intothewoods]

Crops and heavy canes have a lot of similarity in sensation.
I do not especially care for being singletailed at ALL, but one of the few whip guys I ever met who I'd let test something on me introduced me to the tomcat whip - it's a flexible, extremely expensive multi-tailed roo whip on a leaded whip body - oh wow was that thing hot.

I was caned only once, as part of a cathartic "punishment" scene that I requested from a Top friend. It hurt like a mother fucker, but he hit me once with it nicely in a later scene just to show me it doesn't have to hurt. As I recall it was a very thin cane. This guy has been in the scene for 15 or 20 years, I think, and used to teach classes. He's also the one who used the single tail on me. Actually, you guys have probably been at some of the same events, come to think of it! He's one of the few strictly Het tops I've met that doesn't have any of that homophobic, overly macho bullshit stuff going on.

And I remember none of it. None. Use it or lose it.

Submission for me is very psychological and quiet - heavier painplay makes too much mental noise, even with my top. The D/s stuff is very "bedroom" and basic for me if I actually AM going to pull some kind of switch with him.

Quiet - that's a great description for it. I actually remember I used to tell people early on that I felt too keyed up at parties to really bottom, because bottoming was still pretty scary to me.